An hour before the sun rose, we gathered on the western shore of the island.
Irikai and Solra were there when we arrived, their arms linked. They were both dressed in their battle armor, a fierce picture. The silver metal was dull in the bleak morning. A thick fog rested on the water, bringing a subtle chill with it. Ignimitra hung back with Titan and Zelkor, who seemed to be in a similarly contemplative mode.
I walked up to my teammates quietly, the crashing of the waves overpowering the sound of my boots in the sand. Without a word, I linked my hand with Solra’s. She didn’t stir, only gave me a small smile before turning back to the water.
For a few minutes, the three of us stood there in silence, watching as the sky lightened little by little. The fog disappeared, revealing a choppy blue sea. If we weren’t on the brink of a dangerous mission, I would have waxed poetic about how beautiful it looked.
But there was no room to appreciate beautiful things during a war. All that mattered was surviving each battle to fight the next. All that mattered was your duty.
“This is the beginning of new journey for us,” Solra said quietly, her lips trembling over the words. I held her hand tighter.
Her statement confirmed that we were all thinking about the same thing—the war, and what it meant for us as individuals, and as dragon tamers. Unease was heavy in my chest. Mostly because this didn’t feel right.
“We have no idea what lays beyond this shore,” Irikai spoke then.
Beyond this sea lay Terragi. Our enemies wouldn’t think twice about taking our lives if they had the choice, so why did I feel so uneasy about taking theirs? It was one thing to venture into a new place suspecting that you might be met with hostility, but to know was completely different.
Or maybe I was afraid because I didn’t feel ready.
“But it’s our duty,” Solra’s voice wavered. “So, we must.”
Duty. A heavy word. A heavy word that I almost didn’t feel like carrying anymore. I suspected that Irikai and Solra felt the same, but I couldn’t bring that up now. Not when we were about to head into the field. I was team leader after all, I had to inspire them. If even to keep them alive.
“And we’ll carry it out,” my voice was stronger than our expected. “Because what our enemies don’t have is our heart, our belief in ourselves and each other.” I turned to them, a smirk on my face. “We’ve got speed, we’ve got strength, we’ve got the firepower, and we’ve got the smarts!”
Their grim expressions melted into smiles.
“We are stronger together,” I began.
Solra’s eyes twinkled. “We’re unbreakable.”
“We’re unshakable,” Irikai said, balling his fists.
“Always victorious.”
“We’re the strongest of Pyralis.” Solra’s voice picked up.
“We are the Dragon Guard!” We shouted in unison.
Solra pulled us both into a big hug, which I obliged. The next few days were an unknown, and I’d be damned if I didn’t hug my best friends one last time.
When we had broken apart, the sun was just beginning to peak over the horizon, painting the purple sky a new shade of orange. Tendrils of gold were woven into the thick clouds, reflecting off the dark water.
It was one of the most beautiful sunrises I had ever seen.
“Are we all clear on the mission?” I asked. It was odd to be the one in charge, but I swatted the negative thoughts away. Despite my feelings, I had to be my best self for my friends, for Ignimitra. “Let’s run through it one last time.”
Irikai nodded, looking at Solra first, then me. “We’re extracting a Dragon Guard team from Lork Island.”
“Yes,” I affirmed. “It’s a day’s flight away, just inside Terragi territory. Command chose us because we’re quick, and they don’t have much time. They were sent on this mission the night before the attack.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Solra feigned a salute. Giggling, I swatted her away.
“We’re flying in blind,” I continued. “We have no idea if they’re dead or alive. So, the first thing we do is identify that. Luckily, there aren’t many places on Lork Island to hide three dragons.” Terragi was notorious for their lack of infrastructure, much like Astraphotis. More than likely, they would be chained outside if how we were held was any indication.
Irikai and Solra nodded.
“If they’re alive…”
“We extract them quickly and make it back to Tartaris before reinforcements can arrive from their mainland,” Solra said.
I smiled. “And if they’re dead?”
“Recover their bodies if we can,” Irikai said.
Hopefully, they were alive. The thought of interacting with corpses wasn’t something I wanted to experience again. I was still having phantom sensations about it after helping in the search of the attack.
Solra’s eyes held a question, and I felt like I knew what she wanted to ask.
“What’s so special about this team?” She asked. “If they’re dead, why do we have to recover them?” Her observation was true. Only high-ranking soldiers had their bodies recovered, and they would’ve never sent us on a mission like that.
“The report said it was Team 17,” I said. “Who’s on that team?” I had been moved before the cadets were placed into permanent teams.
Irikai scratched his chin. Solra’s lips pressed into a hard line.
“That’s Lyle’s team,” he said. “Lyle, Egann and—”
“Vulknor Archer,” Solra finished.
Suddenly, it all made sense.
We were being sent to rescue the Headmaster’s son.
“Why not send a team from his own detail?” Solra spat, obviously angered by the fact that we were given this task. “Why are we even going to look for them? It’s been five days, they’re dead.”
I put a hand on her shoulder.
As much as I hated the idea of rescuing Vulknor, I couldn’t fault the Headmaster for wanting to recover his son. A team always went in search of missing soldiers, sometimes multiple teams.
And if wasn’t for a search-and-rescue mission like what we were about to embark on, Avek wouldn’t have returned.
“He could still be alive,” I said softly. “They did find Avek after all that time, remember?”
Her anger was replaced with something less fiery. She drew her eyebrows together.
“Oh, Kaos. I wasn’t trying to say that they shouldn’t have recovered Avek. I just meant—”
“It’s fine,” I smiled. “I get what you mean. The fact that we got this mission could mean two things. One, the Headmaster knows they’re dead and he’s sending us to get killed as well,” I glanced out at the water. “Or, we’re strong enough to accomplish this and bring back his son.” My smile grew. “I know which one I’m willing to bet on.”
Solra smiled then. Irikai, who had been silent for most of our exchange smiled as well, putting an arm around Solra’s shoulders.
“We’re definitely strong enough,” he said, looking at her. “And we’ll accomplish it, regardless of how we feel about that prick.”
The three of us shared a laugh.
By this, the sun had risen. It was time for us to set off.
WE FLEW A NEW ATTACK formation to Lork Island.
Titan was our biggest dragon—double the size of Ignimitra, and nearly three times as big as Zelkor—so we built our formation around him. Since Ignimitra was the nimblest, she flew a dragon’s head below him to the right. Zelkor flew a dragon’s head above Titan to the left, since he was better suited for long-range attacks and was the least agile of the three dragons.
Despite the bleak conditions when we took off, we were able to find a chilly updraft going in the direction of our destination. Ignimitra was a bundle of nerves beneath me. The heavy thrumming of her heart was melding into my own.
Are you okay, angel? I could tell that she wasn’t. We had about a day’s flight to get to the bottom of whatever it was that was bothering her. Fortunately, she was forthcoming with her thoughts.
We are going to ambush them as they did us, her voice filled my head differently than it usually did. Almost as if it was bouncing off the walls of my mind. I don’t think I can be anything but nervous.
We have an advantage, I said. They don’t know we are coming.
But isn’t our fire less effective against them? She pressed.
The cool wind was chilling my face, so I pulled up the woolen turtleneck I wore beneath my armor, covering my lips. If this continued, I’d have to put on my helmet soon.
We don’t only have fire, I reminded her. We have swords, teeth, claws. Even more importantly, we have skill.
Her nervousness became a low hum, not nearly as deafening as it was before. With a gloved hand, I stroked her thick hide that lay just beyond the saddle. She reacted instantly to my touch, and it calmed her as I had hoped.
She was silent for a while, her focus going into beating her wings and speeding up her flight. We led the formation, even though we were at the lowest altitude.
This anxiety I feel, it must be a human thing.
Something about her words made me feel offended, but I couldn’t exactly put my finger on what it was. We a long flight ahead of us, and since most of it would be through Pyralian territory, I expected it to be uneventful. Ignimitra’s wittiness would be the perfect company.
You say that like it’s bad to feel nervous. My retort felt weak. I hated my anxiety. It was probably the first thing I could get rid of if I had complete control over my thoughts and feelings.
I can admit it a little of it helps before a battle, she mused. It makes me aware of everything, and that awareness often is my strength.
I sense a but, coming. I gnawed my lip, biting back the smile.
Yes, her laughter reverberated through me, sending tingles to my fingertips. Or was that the cold air? I couldn’t be sure. Too much of it makes it impossible for me to do what I must. Or, do it as best as I would like to.
All of a sudden, my mind was filled with images of the attack, only that this time they were from Ignimitra’s perspective. Layered over the visuals was a strong emotion that made me squint my eyes and bite my tongue. It was bitter, but I knew it well.
I was nervous, so I wanted us to run away.
You shouldn’t feel bad about that, I tried to console her. I was too scared to help defend Pyralis as well, remember? Then her earlier words appeared in my mind, back when she was reminding me not to wallow in my own feelings. I thought we can’t change the past? Why are you fixating on this?
I couldn’t see her, but I knew she was rolling her eyes. Well, I knew she wanted to. Could dragons roll their eyes like us humans?
Because I want to know why I feel this anxiety. Is it because we are bonded and you often feel this way?
It was a valid question. Though the evidence was anecdotal, it was believed that the more your Fusion Bond grew, the more dragons would inherit their tamers feelings and mannerisms, and vice versa.
Yet, I had always imagined that would be a good thing. I expected Ignimitra to get my bravery, not my cowardice. The thought of passing along my stupid emotional problems to her made me—ironically—anxious.
I’m not certain. That could be it.
Or, I could tell that she was searching for words. Is it that we feel this way because we are doing something that we know deep down, we don’t want to do?
I refused to share my reservations with Irikai and Solra, but Ignimitra was privy to my deepest thoughts and feelings. Sighing, I tightened my grip on her saddle and allowed myself to pull back the curtain on the feelings that I was desperately trying to hide.
Before coming to the Academy, I only ever felt this way when I was backed into a corner. Like the day I found you. I swallowed. Now I feel it every second. It’s easier to think of the times when I’m not feeling this way, than when I am.
Ignimitra’s agreement flooded my consciousness. And now, I feel it too. For me, it started after they took me away. Before then, I could understand what you were feeling but…I never had these feelings on my own.
I mulled over her words, thinking of my own experience.
Getting captured sparked it for me too. I sucked in a breath. Then being uprooted from all knew as a cadet… The bubble of emotions that I had compartmentalized last night so I could get this mission does was about to pop. And I was determined not to let it.
You said there was no escaping this place, Ignimitra said.
There isn’t, I confirmed.
Ignimitra was impatient at my answer. I refuse to believe that. There has to be somewhere we can go. We can bring our friends. She huffed a breath. This isn’t how I want to spend the rest of my life.
Her mention of the future jolted me into hyper-awareness. She knew that this wasn’t the way she wanted to spend the rest of her life. How did I want to spend the rest of my life? I had never really given thought to that.
Much of my time and thoughts were just focused on surviving. Surviving the next class. Surviving the next mission. There didn’t seem to be much time to think about a future when just staying alive demanded so much of me.
I’ve never really thought much about the future, I admitted to her. I had been alive for eighteen years this month and I honestly couldn’t picture what my life would be like by the time I turned nineteen.
And trying to picture it on the way to a life-threatening mission didn’t seem like the best thing to do. I wasn’t even sure if I would be alive next week, much less a year from now. Still…what would a future look like for me?
I know you’re in it, I said to her. My friends too. Solra, Irikai…Avek. But other than that, I was stumped. Where would we be a year from now? Would we even be alive?
In my future, I see us together too, Ignimitra’s voice was light. The thought of this made her happy, I could tell. Maybe I will find a mate, so I am not jealous of you and Avek. I giggled and her cheekiness. But I know that I do not see myself fighting wars for His Majesty until I die. This doesn’t feel like happiness.
When she put it that way, I agreed. But I didn’t know what to say. My father had been a Dragon Guard soldier. Becoming one had been my way of connecting with him. And even though pursuit of that connection had only led me into an even deeper rabbit hole about his death, it felt like betraying him to want something else.
I met my grandmother here, I gained friends, I found love. Didn’t that count for something too? I have to think about this more, I said to Ignimitra when I realized that I hadn’t replied. Maybe after this mission.
She snorted. Okay, fine.
Her mind went black after that, her way of letting me know that she didn’t want to speak anymore. She was a little upset, but I was thankful for the silence anyway. It had become a habit of hers to lock me out of her mind.
Thinking of the future made me feel like I was ripping apart at the seams. An existential crisis was the last thing I needed right now. We were en route to a mission that I was leading.
I owed my very best to Solra, Irikai and Ignimitra.
