I break out in a cold sweat as my mind tumbles and turns in an attempt to understand why I’ve had such a violent reaction to opening my own bedroom door. I hadn’t realized Juliette was playing a part in my nightmares, and all I’d wanted to do was process that information by myself when boom, I’d been hit with a wave of terror so strong, it’d sent me stumbling backward before I could mentally grasp what was happening.
“Stella Bella. Baby, what’s wrong?” Duke’s voice is immediately in my ear, his capable arms wrapping me tightly in a cocoon of safety. Despite the shivers rolling through my body, he makes me feel secure, the same way he had the day he rescued me from the Cabot Hall bathroom. He’d called me baby then, too—only this time, it’s no mistake or slip of his tongue. Our relationship has definitely veered into different territory since then.
I open my mouth to speak, to attempt to explain my bizarre behavior, but words fail me. All I can manage is to breathe. In. Out. In. Out. My eyes crash shut, unable to look into the yawning chasm of that room a second longer. “I can’t go in there. I—” My forehead pinches a painful line right down the center as panic rises within me, and all I can do is fervently pray that he’ll hear the anxiousness in my voice and act on it. “D-Duke …” I stutter out his name as the walls close in on me and my breaths accelerate.
Relief washes over me as he lurches into action, and we take three steps back in rapid succession. Once we’re safe inside Bear’s room, he flings the door shut with a resounding bang.
Mason and Bear rush forward, and I feel rather than see the quick jerk of Duke’s head, warding them off. “Take a minute, Lennon.”
I nod, sagging against his chest, allowing him to support me as I stare straight ahead at the closed door. After several minutes have passed, all three have grown restless. Their heavy, anxious breaths and the creak of the hardwood flooring as they shift in place reminds me of their presence, but to their credit, they don’t say or do a thing, allowing me to grapple with the agony inside my head.
Now that I’ve calmed, I’m able to dredge up a few words, though the way they climb and crawl from my throat gives me the chills. “Something happened to me in there.” I bring one fisted hand to the middle of my forehead, rubbing it there, as if that will bring back the memories that’ve been stolen from me. Slowly, I turn in Duke’s arms giving him a quick glance before meeting the worried gazes of Mason and Bear. I rest my head under Duke’s chin and whisper, “My brain wants to shut the fuck down.” I clench my teeth together, mildly afraid they’re going to think I’m fucking crazy. I don’t have the mental energy to deal with any of this while confusion runs rampant through my thoughts. “I need to know what happened to me. I want to talk it through with you, I do … but I’m also really, really fucking overwhelmed.”
Mase shrugs, then turns matter-of-factly, and strides over to the bed, climbing to the far side. I watch the expanse of muscle shift and bunch across his broad back as he systematically pulls the sheet down so we can get in. With a glance over his shoulder, his eyes find mine. When the rest of us don’t immediately move to join him, he murmurs quietly, “Is this not what we’re doing? You’re exhausted. So are we.” He points at Duke and Bear. “I don’t know about you fuckers, but I’m not letting her out of my sight. She may have thought she was heading to her room to be alone, but before she shrieked, I was only moments from following her.”
There’s a loud exhale from Bear. “Yeah. Me too.”
Duke gives a surprisingly silent answer, but one that warms my insides as much as hearing from Bear and Mason that they were going to come after me. He presses his lips into my hair and holds me tightly against him. Mason eyes the possessive hold Duke has on me and gives us a wicked grin. “So, it’s settled, then. If none of us are comfortable being apart from Lennon right now, that means everyone’s getting into bed. Together.”
Duke pulls back so he can look into my eyes. There’s still a hint of hurt in them from the earlier Juliette nightmare discovery, and I know we need to talk. All of us. But now’s not the time. We’ll think more clearly in the morning. I blink, realizing he’s been studying me as I waded through the mess in my head. His eyebrow quirks at me in question.
I know what he’s asking and appreciate that he’s letting me lead … but I’m surprised he doesn’t realize how desperately I need all of them. “Please?” I catch the corner of my lip with my teeth, connecting with each of their gazes in turn. “I don’t know how well I’ll sleep anyway, but I’d rather not be alone. And I definitely can’t stay in my room. I don’t even know if I can step foot inside. Not yet. Not now.” I give myself a shake, not wanting to spiral farther.
“You don’t have to,” Mason assures me from where he’s already sitting in the bed, knees casually drawn up and waiting for the rest of us to come to the same conclusion he did several minutes ago. “You’ll sleep right here. With us.”
My eyes flick over Bear’s drawn expression, the careful way he moves his body. Does he care if we invade his personal space even more than we already have? I may have been out of it earlier, but I hadn’t missed how he wasn’t the one to pick me up and bring me in here. He hadn’t argued when I asked Mason to help me shower, even though we were in his room. And even though he says now that he was going to follow me, the fact is that he wasn’t the one to respond to my cries either. He’s trying hard not to let on, but I can tell he’s in pain and not himself. If he’s fighting … technically tonight … he’s screwed if he doesn’t get some shut-eye soon. Never mind that he doesn’t seem physically in a place where he should be even considering climbing into a ring. I don’t want to think about how that would work. He needs rest, but the look in his eye tells me he wants me here with him.
So, that leaves Duke. Not being in the know about my nightmares has thrown him. Funny, he doesn’t seem the slightest bit upset with me—not that I knew what the hell I’d been saying in my sleep—and he’s fine with Bear, too. Instead, he’s pinned his utter dismay on Mason. Why? My gaze flicks from one to the other. The truth hits me quickly and with the force of a sledgehammer—there’s so much more between them than simple physical attraction. There are feelings involved. Maybe Duke overreacted a smidge, but to be fair, it’s been a doozy of a night for all of us. I hate that Mason protecting Duke from something I said could ruin their fragile connection. I lift onto tiptoe and press my lips to the curve of Duke’s jaw. “Stop placing blame. Get out of your fucking head for once and lie down with us.”
“She’s right. Don’t overthink it, man.” Mason pats the mattress beside him, his dark eyes fully trained on his best friend. “I know part of what’s racing around in your head is that you’re pissed off that I kept things from you.” He scrapes his teeth over that full bottom lip of his and shrugs. “I made a judgment call. I didn’t do it to hurt you. It’s not like I thought to myself, Oh, lemme just hide info about Lennon and Juliette from Duke for shits and giggles. If you want, you can give me hell over it. We can fight it out. But not now. That’s for another day.” He crooks his finger, staring directly into Duke’s eyes. “Come on. We stick together and give Lennon the support she needs.”
Duke grasps the back of his neck as he presses his firm lips together. He’s wavering, even if he’s still ticked. I can feel the way his body has relaxed against mine. He’s slowly being won over, just needs a little more prodding so he can tell himself we convinced him it was okay.
If a little cajoling is what it takes, I’m good with that. I let out a tremulous breath, pressing another kiss to his neck. “I need you. I need all of you. Please stay with me.”
Duke draws in a ragged breath and nods as he finally relents. “Fine.”
Mason winks at us, but the command in his voice leaves no room for argument. “Duke, get the fuck in the bed. Lemme be your fuckin’ big spoon. And you can be hers.”
“I don’t care where you sleep so long as I have Lennon beside me,” Bear growls, but he shoots me a small smile and pulls a pair of joggers out of his chest of drawers before ducking into the bathroom.
As we watch him go, Duke begrudgingly climbs onto the mattress, his eyes cautiously trained on Mason. “You’re fuckin’ bossy,” he grumbles before flopping onto his side with his back to him. He holds out his arm to me, and I follow, settling in beside him and snuggling into the warmth of his embrace.
Mason finds a way to extend a protective arm around both of us, his hand sliding to my hip and squeezing to let me know he’s there. “Should’ve been doing this all along,” he mumbles. When I glance over my shoulder, I understand why those words came out a bit muffled—his lips are pressed against the crook of Duke’s shoulder.
My eyelids are beginning to droop while waiting on Bear when he finally joins us. He takes his time, plugging his phone into the charger at his bedside table, then sits on the edge of the bed and messes with his shoulder before he lies flat on his back. We’ve situated ourselves in a way that will keep his injured shoulder from being jostled too much. I almost have to laugh, noting that considering the size of the bed, we certainly aren’t making the greatest use of all the space. We’re kinda lumped together in the center. A freaking cuddle puddle. And, oh god, does that make me smile despite our shitty night.
None of us are in a state of mind to deny each other physical contact, as is evidenced in the way we’re linked across the bed, arms and legs and hearts intertwined. I’ve rested my cheek against Bear’s chest with my hand on his stomach and my leg hiked up and hooked over his thigh. Duke’s front molds to my back, with Mason curled up behind him, like they were always meant to be that close. I wonder, briefly, what it would be like to see us bound in this way. I wish there were a way to have a snapshot of this moment in time when we’ve come together like this—because I needed them.
Several minutes later, it’s difficult to tell who is asleep and who is awake, but apparently, my emotions choose this moment to catch up with me again. I try so damn hard to keep myself from giving in to tears, but I’m simply on overload. My chest jerks between Bear and Duke, my cry muffled as I try to contain it.
Exhaling, Bear whispers, “I’m so fuckin’ sorry we didn’t protect you from this.”
My heart pitches in my chest, throbbing hard. “It’s not your fault.”
Duke buries his face at the back of my neck, pressing his lips there. “You’re safe, baby. Anyone meaning you harm would have to go through all three of us to get to you.”
Mason’s hand squeezes my hip lightly again before he murmurs, “Try to sleep, Kintsukuroi. We’ve got you.”
And here, with my three guys, I’m able to let go of everything I don’t remember and everything I fear and find oblivion in sleep.
Hours later, I jolt awake, sucking in a desperate breath before letting out a wild cry as I launch myself to a sitting position. I’m in a bed. It’s not mine. My heart pounds so freaking fast, it feels like it’s preparing to take flight right out of my chest. Gasping for air, my eyelashes flutter. Where am I? Oh god. It’s happening again.
“Stella Bella. You’re safe.” Duke’s voice is rough as it grinds out my nickname, but his hand is gentle and soothing on my back. “You had a bad dream.”
I shift, throwing the sheet off before I turn around and kneel on the mattress to face them. Finally remembering where I am and why, I press my hands up to hot, embarrassed cheeks. “I— I thought—” Blowing out a hard breath, I take in their sleepy gazes—sleepy but wary. “When I woke up, I sat up so fast, I didn’t know where I was.” I clench my teeth tightly and shrug.
Bear twists in place, grunting a bit as he reaches across his body for a bottle of water on the nightstand. He wordlessly hands it to me.
“Thank you.” I twist off the cap and take a sip, swallow, then take a longer swig before I give it back. Bear also takes a drink before passing it along to Duke.
“Do you remember what you were dreaming about?” Mase’s head inclines toward me, and he looks up from under a sweep of dark lashes before accepting the water from Duke and downing the remainder.
Tucking my hair behind my ear, I take a few seconds to think. “No, I don’t think so. I jolted awake with my heart pounding, and that was it.” My forehead wrinkles as I make my best attempt at recalling what’d wrenched me from sleep, but all that’s there is a sick sense of dread and massive confusion. “Did I … say her name again?”
Duke extends a hand in my direction. His tongue slips out to wet his lips before he answers, like he’s trying to buy himself time. “Yes. But, come here. Put it out of your head.”
I’m powerless against what fills my head in dreams. My heart rate ratchets up, unable to keep myself from thinking about Juliette and the pact we made all those years ago. At his insistent tone, I shove it out of my head and crawl back between him and Bear, only this time, I face Duke. He gathers me to him, pulling me into a tight hug, much like the way he’d held me last night—only now he’s decidedly cautious about where he touches me and how. And while it feels good to be near him, to be with all of them like this, I’m not a fan of them treating me differently because of what happened. It makes me feel weird.
“What do you need from us, Lennon?” Bear asks, turning onto his side behind me. His hand brushes my hair back, sweeping it over my shoulder. “How can we help?”
I take a deep breath, unsure if they’ll understand. “I’m not made of glass.” I catch Bear’s eye over my shoulder as I seek out his hand, bring it under my shirt, and hold it between my breasts.
“Lennon, what are you doing?” he murmurs.
Duke glances at where I’ve placed Bear’s hand, then gently touches my face, as he looks into my eyes. “Lennon …?”
I nod, understanding the question in his eyes without him having to vocalize it. “I want to be touched. Things may have happened last night that I wish hadn’t … but the truth of the matter is I don’t remember. But I need to feel in control of my body.” Firmly, I finish, “I’m always in control of me.”
Mason pushes up from where he’s been lying beside Duke and rubs his hand over his jaw, almost as if he’s collecting his thoughts. “Do you feel like this … this ugly fucking incident stripped you of authority over your own body?”
Biting my lip, I shake my head. “I won’t let it.”
His brow quirks as his gaze skims over my T-shirt and panty-covered body. “So, show us who’s in control, Kin. Right fucking now.” He reaches out, skimming his fingers up my legs with a devilish smirk on his full lips. I like how even in a serious situation, Mason does what he can to bring a bit of levity.
Leaving no question as to whether or not they, too, understand what I want, Bear palms my breast, fingertips grazing over my skin, and Duke leans in, sucking and licking my neck. Whether it’s in response to their ministrations or Mason’s demand about taking back my control, I don’t know, but I shift to my back and part my thighs. Mason’s brows shoot up, but his lips twitch with appreciation and approval. That itself sends a zing of pleasure to my core, but then he drags his knuckle over my pussy with only the lace of my underwear separating him from my bare skin. My panties dampen, and I’m keenly aware that he can feel it.
Each of them affects me in a different way and having them all at once is nothing I ever expected. The way Bear’s big hand cups my breast, his rough palm teasing my nipple into a hard point. The way Duke’s lips and tongue work over the delicate skin of my neck. And the way Mason stares hotly at my center, as if he’s imagining all the delicious things he’s going to do to my pussy. Everything they do brings me to an intense state of arousal and makes wetness gush between my thighs. My body is providing physical proof—despite the hell of last night—that I need and want them … and now Mason knows, too.
My cheeks heat. With my heart drumming a furious beat, I ponder … Is there something wrong with me for needing this right now?
“She’s drenching her panties. Keep doing what you’re doing.” Mason positions himself between my legs and bends at the waist, ghosting his lips over my inner thigh. He drags his mouth up, up, up until he reaches the fleshy part of my leg just south of the juncture of my thighs. Sucking lightly, he touches the pads of his fingers to the damp scrap of fabric covering my center. Like a heat-seeking missile, they shift upward, homing in on my clit. While he’s busy licking and kissing the mark he made on my thigh, he rubs circles around the little bundle of nerves that strains for his attention.
A moment later, Duke and Bear ease me out of the T-shirt I’d worn to bed, tugging it over my head. Once off, they glide their hands over my torso, stroking every part of me they can reach as my back arches off the bed from the bold way Mase is making me writhe with the touch of a few fingers.
Duke drags his tongue slowly—almost lazily—around and around my nipple, but when he pulls the puckered skin into his mouth, he surprises me, the gentleness gone as he sucks me into his warm, wet mouth and swirls his wicked tongue. It makes my heart stutter in my chest, especially when Bear joins in, his rough stubble scratching at the delicate skin and, in doing so, setting me on fire. I’m ablaze, so lost in their touch that it doesn’t register when Mason tugs my panties from me until his warm breath cascades over my center.
“Damn, Lennon. This pussy.” Mason inhales deeply before he ducks his head and eats me so voraciously, I don’t know whether I’m coming or going. Wait. Lies. Definitely coming. Duke and Bear don’t let up either; hands and mouths continue to roam as a sharp cry is ripped directly from my soul. My hips begin to buck as the orgasm slams through my body. All I can do is shake and moan, leaning into the blinding pleasure of it all, clamping my thighs over Mase’s ears, which makes him go at me even more vigorously. His tongue, holy fuck, his tongue. It’s flicking everywhere, thoroughly bathing my clenching pussy, touching every part of me. Even if I wanted to escape the feelings rioting within me, I couldn’t because Mase’s hands are hooked around my thighs, holding me open for him.
“Fucking hell,” Bear grunts, watching with avid interest the way I’m quaking. My breath leaves me in a long gust, and I wet my lips, staring into his eyes.
Mason sits up a moment later, and my gaze pivots to the satisfied smirk on his face. With my heart thudding, he crawls up my body, stopping only when his face is mere inches from mine. He lowers his head, taking my mouth in a carnal kiss that turns my limbs into something like hot wax, because I’m convinced I’m melting. All I can taste is the arousal these guys make me feel.
Mase sucks my bottom lip into his mouth, then lets it go with a wet pop. “Best breakfast ever.” He shoots me a wink right before Duke grabs him by the back of the neck and tugs him close.
“Share,” Duke grits out. Breathing heavily, the two friends stare at each other for several seconds, almost as if it’s a competition to see who will give in first. In the end, they move at the same time, their mouths colliding in a frenzy of passion and lust.
I can’t help but stare. “So hot. Why does that turn me on?” I whisper.
Bear chuckles beside me, then rolls to his side and steers my face to his, his gold-eyes gaze sending a shiver through me. “They’re tasting you. And that’s really fucking sexy.” He captures my lips and explores my mouth so fucking slowly I feel like I might die. Easing away, his eyes dilate until only the pupils are visible. My chest stutters at the sight of it, my entire body flushing from head to toe before it bursts into flames.
“Little Gazelle. Come sit on Daddy’s face.”
