“I don’t want somebody having what we had”—What We Had by Sody
Colin looks at me with as much confusion on his face as I feel inside of me.
One second the girls at our table talk about getting their nails done, going to some kind of spa somewhere in New York, and now they’re talking about Sofia moving into Lily’s dorm room as she no longer needs it. Which, frankly, seems like a bad idea judging by the look on Winter’s face.
Even although Lily no longer considers Winter her best friend and is trying her very best to stay away from toxic people, she even cut off her entire friend group because they were too emotionally draining for her, Winter is still sticking around. But of course she would.
Winter isn’t easy to get rid of, and trust me, I say this with years of experience.
I’ve tried getting rid of Winter a long time ago, but as it seems she’s quite good in bed and pretty persuasive. So for all of my college years, I’ve had this on-again, off-again relationship with her.
Alright, fuck buddy relationship.
To avoid any misunderstandings, the sex was great, and as bad as it sounds, the only reason I stayed in our strange fuck-buddies arrangement.
She was simply draining me with the amount of self-love this woman has. And I mean, loving oneself is never a bad thing, until it gets to the point where all they want to talk about is themselves and how great of a person they are.
I had occasional fucks every now and then, but whenever I wasn’t up for the chase, I knew Winter was only one call away. And she was always down for a good fuck with me. Especially since she never really got over her crush on me. Or love for me? I mean, we did date for a couple of months before it turned ugly. Not one of my proudest times in life, but it is what it is. At least she knew we were fuck buddies and nothing more.
Didn’t stop her from seeking a relationship with me though.
I know I should have called it off, not lead her on. She was a great distraction, and if I looked beyond all her self-love, I knew she is a good person. Somewhere deep within her is a woman that I might’ve liked if it weren’t for her self-centeredness.
“What are they even saying?” Miles asks, not bothering to look up from his phone. I’m not even sure if he is talking to me and Colin, or to Grey who happens to be on the phone as well.
As nobody answers, he looks up and repeats his question. “I only heard moving in or something like that.”
Colin sighs. “My girlfriend is giving her dorm room to Sofia.”
Miles laughs, loudly. Eventually he stops, his eyes moving from Sofia to Winter and back to me.
We’re all seated at the same table, Miles, Grey, and me on one side, the other four on the other. For a second there I’m wondering why nobody is back home with Brooke, when we’re all off right now. But then I remember that she’s probably with Emory.
I suppose it would have been fair if the guys sat on one side and the girls on the other as we’re seven people in total. And with four huge jocks and three tiny women… they deserve to have their space and not be forced to be squeezed.
But Colin had to have his girlfriend sitting on his lap. I doubt Lily is allowed to sit anywhere else but on top of him.
It was obvious that Sofia would sit with Lily, and apparently Winter as well. Of course, only to appear less in love with me. The glances she sends my way gives her feelings toward me away pretty easily.
“You do know she has a name, right?” I point out.
Colin flips me off with a grin. “Jealous your sister likes me more than you?”
“The hell I am.” Seriously, she can’t like my best friend more than me, can she? “I’m her favorite.”
That seems to be getting the girls’ attention because oh-so suddenly, all three of them are looking at me. But the only eyes I truly care about are Sofia’s.
Her honey brown eyes always seem to be getting my attention even if that’s the last thing I want to give her.
Seriously, after I offered to go to Germany with her out of total stupidity, one would think our friendship shifted into something less tense. It hadn’t. I think I made it even worse.
We haven’t exchanged a single word ever since then, and we’re getting dangerously close to Thanksgiving. We’re only a week away, two weeks away from December. If I’m supposed to accompany her, I should probably book a flight very soon before there are no more available seats. But I refuse to buy a flight ticket to God knows where in Germany she lives, spend hundreds, if not good over a thousand dollars to be her fake-date only for Sofia to not even want me there.
I may have a hell ton of money shoved up my ass thanks to my father and Liz, but I am not wasting it on a flight ticket I might not even use.
“There’s a high chance I’m her favorite,” Miles jokes only to be a part of it. He knows he’s not.
“Sofia is my favorite,” Lily says, patting Colin’s chest with her hand as his jaw drops. “She’s my best friend after all.”
My eyes instantly travel over to Winter, just in time to catch her jaw twitching in anger.
I’m not going to lie, it was cruel of Lily to say this in front of her, but it’s not like Winter hadn’t called literally anyone her best friend right in Lily’s face before either.
Miles gestures between Sofia and Winter then says, “That’s going to be interesting. You guys have to keep me posted.” The smuggest smile I’ve ever seen is currently plaster right on his face as he looks at me.
“What’s going to be interesting about this? We’re just roommates.” Winter keeps a false smile on her lips, one that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. If I had to put a label on the spark in her eyes, I’d say it’s anger with a hint of I’m-going-to-murder-Aaron-Marsh in it.
Well, at least Winter doesn’t kno—Never mind. I’ve told her about Sofia… and Sofia knows I’ve dated someone named Winter.
Yup, this is going to get really interesting. For everyone else. For me, it’s going to be a pain in my ass, I can sense it.
Sitting here sure does make my head spin for other reasons as well, though.
Seeing as Winter keeps catching a glimpse of me with either jealousy or a murderous hint in her eyes, I do wonder if Leon is just like her. I doubt it, given that he’s a cheating asshole, so I’ve figured, but there is a chance that he once did love Sofia.
And if he did, I am not sure I won’t make him acquainted with my fists and feet. Nobody was supposed to love Sofia like I once did. Granted, eight-year-old love isn’t the same as the one would have been when they were dating at a later age, but I still never wanted that to happen.
It was always supposed to be Sofia and me. Not Sofia and God knows who.
She wasn’t supposed to be happy with anyone else.
The pinch of jealousy in my heart when I think about Sofia being as happy with any other man as I always wished we could have been, is almost unbearable.
Mostly pathetic.
Did she tell him the same jokes she told me? Did they skate together and done races? And if so, did he let her win every single time like I did her because I knew she would end up smiling at me. The one cheek-y-smile I loved so much.
It’s always been my favorite. Whenever Sofia would smile a little too widely, her cheeks would get all chubby. I loved that smile especially because I knew it was genuine. I knew that when I saw those chubby cheeks, she was happy. And nothing made me happier than seeing her happy.
“Turn that frown back around, Aaron.” Miles nudges his elbow right into my side. “Are you okay?”
I nod, though in my mind I am shaking my head.
How am I ever going to be okay again after Sofia leaves?
