“you know you could tear me apart”—Shivers by Ed Sheeran
“Pia, Emma, Jane,” Sofia says, smiling at her friends, “das ist Aaron, mein Freund.” Her hand squeezes mine, I’m not sure why, but I’m not here to complain about it.
I mean, the girl I’ve been crushing on since felt like forever is holding my hand, squeezing it. It doesn’t matter if it’s for comfort, a sign of her lies, or any other reason.
Also, I’m not quite sure what Sofia just said, but it sounded awfully a lot like an introduction. I could make out some names, so it’s the only logical option, right?
Sofia’s friends look me up and down, smirking. I swear, one even has some horny eyes going. The brunette, to be precise. Not sure what her name is, but I’m guessing one of the ones Sofia just said.
As I don’t want to acknowledge the heated looks from the other women, I look around the barn. Yes, a fucking barn. Who the hell hosts a party inside of a barn? I’m glad we’re somewhat inside as there must be at least a foot of snow on the ground, but a barn?
To my surprise, the barn is heated with what I assume must be a portable heating, or a few of them.
The barn is big enough to allow the entire village inside and still have enough space for everyone to breathe and walk around properly. The entire interior is held cozy; hung up fairy lights, blankets in case someone gets cold, tables with rows of food and drinks, hay bales all over the place and a surprisingly great number of tables and chairs.
It is different from what I know, but nothing I wouldn’t be able to get used to.
“He doesn’t speak German,” I hear Sofia say at the same time as she tugs on my arm and looks up at me. “Jane asked what you like most about Germany so far.”
“Sofia.” Most obvious answer. No matter where I am at, my answer will always be Sofia. That is, if she’s there with me. “Nothing more beautiful than her.”
The black-haired-girl—probably Jane—gapes at me. “Fuck, where’d you find that guy? Can one buy those somewhere?”
I do have to say, she’s beautiful. Jane’s got a beautiful face, not too symmetrical, deep brown eyes that seem almost black without the light hitting them. Her nose isn’t crooked, but rather pointy, her legs long and slim.
And yet when I thought someone like her is just my type, my attention remains on a certain brunette with some curves in the right places, honey-brown eyes, a cute little nose, and red, kissable lips.
Sofia giggles then leans her head against my arm, her free hand now holding onto me as well. “Doubt it. And don’t go on boosting his ego. He’s a hockey player, Aaron’s ego is the size of Alaska already.”
“A hockey player?” The red-head’s interest is piqued, eyebrows rising until they disappear underneath her bangs. “I thought Leon was a lesson to you.”
Why the hell is everyone so obsessed with that cheating bastard?
“Aren’t they all the same? I doubt one sports guy could stay faithful to their partner, especially when they’re on the road for half the year,” the very last of Sofia’s friends adds, eying me curiously.
I shake my head at her, truly not understanding how either of them can make such bold assumptions. I’m sure there are some athletes out there not wanting to commit to someone else, but I’m not one of those.
Well, I have been, that much I have to say. I barely committed to Winter, but I suppose we can all agree on the same reason why that is.
Anyway, being in a fake relationship with Sofia or not, I wouldn’t think of being with anyone else. She’s it for me, has always been. So then I might have to find a more complicated way to get us to our happily ever after, but I will.
No matter how long it’ll take, I promised, not only her, but me too, that Sofia will end up with me. I’d be pretty stupid to jeopardize her trust in me with cheating. If she were to be in love with me, which she is not yet, I’d also be out of my mind insane to put that on the line for a silly fling.
I know what I want from Sofia, but I’m yet to make her understand, make her trust me enough to want the same.
“Fortunately, I’m not yet playing for the pros, so I’m not really on the road that much. Though, even if I were, Sofia is the only one that had ever held the key to my heart. She literally had me in a chokehold since we were seven. So much to thinking of another woman has me want to beat myself up.” I wink at the blonde for the mere purpose to provoke. “Perhaps you simply haven’t found the right man yet if you guys think every single athlete, or guy for that matter, would rather cheat than be loyal.”
The girls’ eyes snap over to Sofia’s, one of them saying something in German. I’m not even sure I want to know what she said when I see Sofia rolling her eyes shortly before dragging me away from the three menaces.
Sofia leads me past the buffet table, to the fridge filled with drinks where she grabs a bottle of wine before leading me to one of the back corners of the barn. She then releases my arm, looking up a wooden ladder, one that looks like it’s going to break when one steps foot on it.
“Are you planning on dragging me up there?” I ask at the same time as she clamps the bottle of wine between one arm and her side while using the other to hold on to one step of the ladder to climb up. In what must be seconds, I take the bottle from her, shaking my head as if to tell her she’s insane.
I mean, come on. Climbing up a ladder that seems to be older than her with one hand, and not to forget that there are more missing steps to the ladder than present… no. I will not let her risk falling, breaking bones, or simply hurting herself in the slightest. In any way.
“It’s safe. I’ve been using this ladder to get up there since I was ten. Nothing ever happened to me.”
“Just because it never has doesn’t mean nothing ever will happen. Did you look at that thing?! That is a safety violation.”
Sofia bites her bottom lip, trying to keep the smile from showing but it doesn’t work. Slowly, she’s making her way up that ladder. Halfway up, she looks down at me, grinning. “If you’re too scared to come up here, that’s your problem. I’m not a coward.”
She is going to be the death of me, won’t she? In every single sense imaginable.
As she reaches the top, Sofia lies down on the wood, reaching a hand down to take the bottle from me. I hand it to her.
I’m well aware that I don’t have to prove to Sofia that I’m far from scared, far from being a coward, and yet despite the uneasy feeling in my stomach, I follow her up the ladder.
Every other step creaks, screaming at me to get down. This is far from safe; nobody can convince me otherwise. Not even Sofia.
As soon as my feet are on solid—creaking—ground, I’m a little more relieved. I’m sure the thin layer of this wood could give in at any second and have Sofia and me fall at least eight feet, but I’m not here to back out of spending some alone time with Sofia… that is if I could find her.
Where the fuck did she go? I swear, I was right behind her and now she’s—Oh. Found her. “What the hell are you doing sitting on a hay bale in the darkest possible corner?”
She shrugs at me, taking a sip from the wine, right from the bottle before holding it out to me. “Want a sip?”
Making my way over to Sofia, I shake my head. I don’t like wine. Never did, never will.
Before I sit down beside her, I grab my phone from my pocket and send a quick text to a group chat consisting of my three best friends and me. You know, just to let them know that I might die very soon.
Aaron: Not to be dramatic, but I might die.
“Are you okay?” Sofia presses her lips together to stop herself from laughing. “You’re a bit pale.”
“That’s the light.” It’s not, I’m sure of it.
I might be majoring in architecture, but that’s all it is. Designing houses. I don’t like heights.
In an attempt to calm my nerves, I finally take a seat, taking deep breaths. Everything will be fine. This barn isn’t that unsafe. The wood might be old and falling apart, but that’s fine… it won’t just break. Hopefully.
“Nix?” Sofia’s hand lays down on my thigh. “You’re shaking. And I can assure you, it’s not cold here. What is wrong?”
“Just not a fan on heights,” I admit. Fuck, I never admitted that to anyone. I know it’s common and nothing to be embarrassed about, but I’m not the guy to get scared. I don’t admit having weaknesses.
My phone chimes, my eyes instantly snapping to it to keep my head occupied.
Grey: Why, did Sofia beat you at hockey?
Miles: Stuck it in the wrong hole and now she’s beating you to death?
Colin: Nah, he’s too much of a pussy for that, Miles. Bet he wouldn’t touch Sofia if she begged him to do it. He probably just poked his thumb with a needle. We all know he can’t see blood.
Miles: Right. Hockey’s just the sport for him.
Grey: Damn, I think he might actually be dead. He’s surprisingly quiet.
Colin: Your friends will miss you, Ron! Lots of love. x
Grey: Hey, just because you fucked once doesn’t mean we will all miss him.
Miles: Seriously. Ron wouldn’t miss us either. You, he will miss you though, for sure.
Colin: You’re just jealous.
Grey: Not going to lie, I am.
“You had sex with Colin?” Sofia’s voice pulls my eyes away from my phone. My blood rushes through me a little quicker, my brain forgetting every single word known to the English language. “Aaron?”
I shake my head, not in an attempt to deny her question, but to clear up the fog that built up. “For the experience. You know, trying things out and all.”
She bobs her head lightly, comprehending my words before she starts to laugh, leaning her forehead against my arm. I’m not quite sure if I am supposed to run for my life, be offended or laugh along with her. Either way, hearing Sofia’s giggles eases my nerves at tiny bit.
Though I know Sofia isn’t the type to judge, it’s still a little nerve-wracking to try and find out what the fuck her laughter means in this situation.
“This might be a little too personal, and I’d understand if you don’t want answer, but please tell me he bottomed. Or don’t, whatever you feel comfortable with. But you don’t seem like you’re one to take something up your ass,” she says, fidgeting with her fingers. She avoids looking at me the moment the words leave her mouth, and I just bet she’s mentally beating herself up for having asked.
Oh, okay. She was laughing because she was picturing it, I guess?
“We didn’t go there,” I tell her, laying my hand on her thigh to hopefully ease her nerves a little. “Just sucked each other off and called it quits. I wasn’t going to let Colin in through my back door, and he sure wasn’t letting me do that either. Can’t say I even wanted to, to be honest.” I’m sure even if either of us volunteered to sacrifice their ass, we wouldn’t have gone that far.
With a hint of an awkward smile, Sofia nods slowly. “Does Lily know?”
“I doubt it. Though she did ask me if I was attracted to Colin, so who even knows.” What I do know, however, is that I am not in any way attracted to the male species. Dicks aren’t my thing.
I think experimenting and finding out what is, and what isn’t on your likes list is important. Colin thought the same, clearly. We weren’t drunk or anything, not even tipsy. Hell, we had absolutely no alcohol intake that day whatsoever. It just so happened. One little talk between two guys and a silly idea and shit just went down. Nothing dramatic.
Sofia then moves away from my arm, the loss of her making itself noticeable instantly. The cold, that’s not even cold but chillier now without her warmth on my body, digging through my sweater, sending a strange chill down my spine. It’s like my body refuses to feel warm without any goddamn part of Sofia pressed to mine.
She takes yet another sip from the wine, once again holding the bottle out for me. I still don’t take it despite the eyeroll I earn for it.
I won’t drink tonight. One of us has got to be the sober one, and since it won’t be Sofia, it’s now my very responsibility to make sure she gets home safe, that she will be okay, that she won’t do anything stupid. I will be her protector. If she wants me to or not. But then again, I will always protect her—drunk or not.
“You know, if I were you and had the chance to fuck Colin, I probably would have done the same thing. He’s hot,” Sofia admits, sighing deeply.
“He’s dating your best friend. You shouldn’t say things like that.” I wouldn’t care, truthfully. Sofia and I might not know one another that well anymore, but I would bet all my father’s money on her, having every ounce of faith that she wouldn’t try shit with Colin.
He wouldn’t let it happen anyway. Colin is head over heels in love with my sister, which is a little disgusting, but I’m glad it’s him and not some junkie Lily picked up on the streets,
Anyway, I happen to think Rihanna is pretty good looking, and yet I’d never try to hop into bed with her.
Oh, and I also feel this cruelty in my guts. The cruelty I know is called jealousy but won’t admit it to myself yet. I am not jealous just because the girl I have had a major crush one since I was a stupid five-year-old thinks my best friend is hot.
Nope. Not jealous.
I also don’t feel the urge to punch my best friend in the face in hopes that it would fuck up his pretty face. Totally not.
Sofia smirks at me, then starts chugging down another few sips from the wine, drawing my eyes to her kissable lips. Lips that are red tonight. A bright, rich red that had my cock standing strong when I looked at her for the first time after she applied her lipstick.
Red is definitely her color, and yet I prefer her in that stupid wisteria color she loves so much.
“You’re hot, too, you know?”
She can’t say things like that. As much as I’ve been longing to hear her say it, praying she finds me attractive since the day she arrived here, my brain can’t take it. Fuck, my heart can’t take it.
“Of course I know. I’m the most handsome guy you’ll ever come across.”
Her eyes narrow at me, one hand coming up to my face where she’d grip my chin between her fingers, taking a closer look of me while moving my head from side to side.
“Meh. You’re missing some color. Maybe red would look good on you.”
If you think red will look good on me, Sofia, I will wear red every single day for the rest of my life.
“Shit, really?” She nods. “Kiss me then.”
