People spend their entire lives avoiding crime—or try to.
Not me.
I knew that I’d do it one day. That at some point, the crazy genes, as my father and his bitch of wife called them, would catch up to me and I’d snap.
That’s why I chose law. It definitely wasn’t out of a warped sense of justice. I just had to learn law to get around it and apply self-restraint so that I didn’t end up murdering someone accidentally.
Or intentionally.
It’s been easier with Gwen around, because I have someone to focus on, someone not to get caught for. I had to raise her, to be the parent my own parents weren’t. I had to be the person who protected her from the world.
But I couldn’t protect her from my motherfucking friend.
Ex-friend because I’m going to blow his brains out in about five minutes.
I always knew I’d kill. I just didn’t know it’d be the man I considered a fucking brother.
Nate and I didn’t start our friendship the conventional way. We were rivals for way too long, then we saw similar traits in each other. So for the sake of our ambitions, we decided to put our differences aside and partner up.
And with time, I realized he was the only person I could call a friend.
Not anymore, though. Because he’s going to die.
Said asshole flops onto the chair in front of my desk, running a hand over his battered face—the face I should’ve punched a few more times and erased its expression. He dares to sigh as if he’s the wronged one, as if he’s the one who was stabbed in the fucking back.
He places both his elbows on his knees and leans his chin on the backs of his hand. “I know you’re upset—”
“Upset?” I storm in front of him and tighten my hold on the gun. “Try enraged. Try fucking murderous. That girl is my daughter, my flesh and blood, my fucking second chance at life. And I left for one second, one fucking second, and you swooped in and ruined her. She’s become a stranger who stands up to me when she never has before.”
He purses his lips as his dark eyes stare up at me. “She never stood up to you, because she respected you. Now, she’s fucking terrified of you, King. She’s seeing a person that she doesn’t recognize in you. What the fuck is wrong with you? Do head injuries make you act like a monster?”
“A monster? That’s rich coming from a motherfucking predator.”
At that, he stands up and grabs me by the collar of my polo shirt. “Don’t ever, and I mean, ever, repeat that. Respect your own fucking daughter.”
I slam the gun on the desk and choke-hold him by his shirt. “Did you respect her? When you put your hands on her, did you think of respect? Of me?”
“Of course, I thought of you. Why do you think I avoided this place like the fucking plague over the past two years? It was because of her, King. Because she kissed me on her eighteenth birthday and I could never see her as your little girl anymore. Because you were her father and I couldn’t take it any further. Because you’re my fucking partner and best friend and I didn’t want to lose you.”
She…what?
A red haze covers my vision and it’s all I can do not to self-combust. Did he just say my Gwen kissed him—as in, she went after him first? No, he must be fucking lying and making excuses for himself. If she had a thing for him, I would’ve noticed it…
Images of her flushing red whenever he was mentioned or dropped by slash through my mind. She hid away, too, almost always when he was around. It started about five years ago and I didn’t think much of it then, because it didn’t mean anything.
It doesn’t mean anything and Nate is a fucking liar.
My glare falls on his battered face. “It’s so obvious that you didn’t want to lose me, because the moment I was out of the picture, you pounced on her.”
“Watch your fucking language. I didn’t pounce on her.”
“Oh, right. You married her. That makes it all fucking better.”
“We had to because of all the damn wars you have going on with Susan. She would’ve taken this house, which you fought for tooth and nail, mind you. She was suing to own shares in the firm and make our lives hell. We didn’t know if you were ever going to wake up and Gwyneth wanted to protect your assets. She did this for you while she grieved your loss, because she thought you’d abandoned her like her mother did.”
He shoves me away and I hit the edge of the desk. My hands ball into fists and my breathing comes harsh and fast. I didn’t stop to think about what Gwen must’ve gone through because of my accident.
I’m her only family, and she knows how much this house means to me. She wouldn’t have thought twice about protecting what I left behind, because by doing so, she was also protecting me.
Because my little angel isn’t so little anymore.
But I don’t want to think about that. I don’t want to believe that she’s all grown up now and doesn’t need me anymore.
“Let’s say you married her for my and the firm’s sake. But it should’ve been on paper only.”
“It was.”
“Oh, really? Then did I imagine your tongue at the back of her throat just then?”
“You can curse and hit and punch me all you want, but you need to watch your fucking language when you talk about her. And yes, it was just on paper at the beginning. To protect her and the firm and you, but it became more.”
“More, like what? Like you were fucking her under my own roof? Did you perhaps do it in this very office? Was it a fantasy of yours that you harbored for years, you sick fuck?”
He raises his fist and punches me in the face. He doesn’t hold back and my head snaps to the side from the force of it.
“I told you to watch your language, King.”
I drive my fist into the cut of his mouth and revel in the sight of the blood that explodes from his lips as I grab him by the collar. “Do you think I want to talk about my own daughter like that? It makes me sick to my stomach thinking that you touched her, that you had your fucking hands on her and used her.”
“I didn’t use her, King. Never.”
“Oh, come on, I’ve been on your side for over two decades and I know you use women for sex.”
“Not her. She’s different.”
“Heaven could fall and you wouldn’t change, Nate. It’s in your fucked-up genes, right? Because your parents didn’t like you, because you were always second to the same brother you couldn’t hate, because he took care of you. But even he didn’t like you very much, no? Otherwise, he wouldn’t have left you without giving it a second thought. Because you were jealous I had a life, a fucking family, so you went ahead and destroyed it. You went ahead and stained my little angel with your darkness because you wanted to take the one thing that made sense in my fucking life.”
He loses it then and starts punching me. I punch him back and we roll to the ground, hitting and kicking each other until we’re both bloodied, him more so than me. I can tell he’s holding back.
In the past, Nate was never the type to hold back, not for any reason. But right now, he’s lessening the blow of his punches, no matter how much I hit him, and I don’t think it’s because I’m still recovering from the accident.
The same damn accident that caused me to leave Gwen alone with him and the fucking woman who gave birth to her.
When we’re finally spent, I roll to sit against the chair while Nate winces and leans against the wall, his legs outstretched in front of him.
He wipes his face and grunts. “Fuck you, King. Fuck you for being a goddamn motherfucking dick.”
“And fuck you for stabbing me in the back. She’s a fucking kid. She hasn’t lived yet and you ruined everything.”
“She’s not a fucking kid. She stopped being that a long time ago, but you keep overprotecting her to keep her with you forever. She’s strong and knows how to take care of herself, and you need to start getting used to that.”
“Shut the fuck up. You don’t get to tell me how to treat my own daughter. You will stay away from her, you hear me? I’m going to file a restraining order.”
“You can’t do that on her behalf. And stop being a fucking dick. I care about her, okay? I care about her like I’ve never cared about any woman in my life. Hell, like I never cared about any person. This is serious. I’m serious about her, King.”
Fire like never before rises in my veins and images of him with my beautiful little angel, my Gwen, nearly cuts me open. Nausea clogs my throat and I want to fucking kill him.
So I stagger to my feet and grab the gun, then point it at him. “You shouldn’t have touched her, Nate. Best friends don’t touch their friends’ kids.”
“Don’t you think I tried not to?”
“You should’ve tried fucking harder.” I approach him with the gun and put it to his forehead.
“Put it away, you idiot. If I die and you go to prison, she’ll have no one.”
When I don’t make a move to comply, he grabs the gun and throws it on the sofa.
“I’ll find a way to kill you without getting caught then. Now get the fuck out of my house and don’t ever show me or my daughter your face again.”
“That’s impossible since you’re my partner and she’s my wife.”
“Like fuck she is. You will divorce her.”
“No.”
“What the fuck did you just say?”
“Unless she wants the divorce, it won’t be happening.” He staggers to his feet, grabbing his ribs that I fucked up—good, maybe that way, he can feel a sliver of the pain I feel from his betrayal.
Maybe that way, he can understand what it feels like to be a horrible father for leaving my only daughter on her own.
If I hadn’t had that fucking accident, if I hadn’t made that call, I would’ve stopped this. I wouldn’t have allowed him to prey on my daughter.
Or allowed him to be near her.
I would’ve prevented this whole mess.
He pats my shoulder. “Get some rest. We’ll talk later.”
“You get some rest and sort out your will, because I’ll kill you later.”
He says nothing as he struggles to open the door, then steps out. I follow after him because Gwen is waiting right outside. I saw the shadow of her feet as she kept pacing.
As soon as she sees him, she gasps, hands covering her mouth and tears glistening in her colorful eyes.
“Oh my God, Nate.” Her voice is brittle, chin trembling as she reaches a hand out for him.
“Gwyneth, come here. Now.” I don’t usually order her this harshly, and she knows that, too, because she startles, her hand falling to her side.
Nate nods at her and waits until she comes to me while he uses the wall for support to remain standing.
Gwen keeps staring at him, but I pull her inside and slam the door in his face.
Her gaze is shifty and she’s clinking her nails manically. Kids avoid their parents’ gazes when they’ve done something wrong, but Gwen has never been like that. She tells me head-on about her wrongdoings. She only ever avoids eye contact when she’s in pain and doesn’t want to show it.
Because it’d hurt me, too, and she’s said she never wants to be the source of my pain.
Until that fucker Nate played with her mind.
“I’m sorry, Dad.”
“What are you sorry for?”
“Hurting you. I didn’t mean to, I didn’t want to, but it’s not like I could choose, you know?”
“This isn’t your fault. It’s his for using you.”
Her head snaps up and the green in her eyes rushes forward. “No, Dad. No. He didn’t use me. Never. If anything, I made the first move, okay? I kissed him on my eighteenth birthday because I had this major crush on him that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much I told myself it was wrong. I even wrote the word crush on my list, but I couldn’t desensitize myself to him. Still, I tried, I really tried, Dad. I dated and went out. I forced myself to think of him less, but it became more. My feelings were unrequited for such a long time that I hated myself for having them. But you know what? I’m not going to apologize to you or him for the way I feel. I love him and it’s none of anyone’s business. It’s mine and I choose to have these feelings, Dad. I chose to love him. No one made me do it.”
She’s breathing heavily, chest rising and falling in a frantic rhythm, and a tear slides down her cheek.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck!
She’s too far gone for the motherfucker—whose death I will make the most painful possible.
“Gwen, Angel, listen to me. Those feelings could just be a manifestation of sentiments of your dependency because you only had him around when I was gone.”
“Can everyone stop using that word? It wasn’t dependency or neediness or a ruse of the moment. I’ve liked him since I was fifteen and those hormonal little girl feelings transformed into more. I liked him since I knew what liking someone means and it only grew deeper with time. I know what I feel more than anyone else, more than you and him, because unlike both of you, I’m not scared of my feelings. No matter how strong they are, no matter how overwhelming they get, I own them and wear them as a badge for the world to see. So don’t tell me I’m mistaking anything.”
My fists clench and I have this need to punch someone, Nate preferably. But I release them because she’s watching my hands with wild eyes.
The motherfucker was right. She is scared of me.
“I would never hurt you, Angel.” I try to soften my voice.
“You already did by hurting him, Dad.”
“So you’re taking his side now? First, he betrays me, then he touches you and now he turns you against me? What will it be next?”
“No, Daddy.” She wraps her clammy, trembling hands around mine. “I’m on both your sides. It kills me that you’re fighting. I can’t take it.”
“You can’t be on both our sides.”
“Dad…”
“You won’t be with him, Gwen. It’s not up for discussion.”
“But why? Didn’t you say you’d only let me be with someone I love with all my heart? That someone is Nate, Dad.”
“You think he is, but you’re too young to know for sure. You still haven’t met the right person.”
“It’s him. I know it. I’ve known it since I was eighteen, and stop using my age as a deciding factor. It’s just a number. I’m old enough to make my own decisions.”
“I’ll never approve of you with Nate, Gwen. It’s either him or me.”
A sob catches in her throat and she shakes her head frantically. “Daddy…don’t do that, please. Please don’t make me choose.”
“Him or me. You can’t have both.”
“I thought you would never hurt me, Dad.”
“I’m not. I’m protecting you. I don’t want to lose you, Angel.”
“No, you’re breaking me right now. Because I’ll never be happy with either choice. If I choose him, I’ll be unhappy and eventually hate him for coming between us. And if I choose you, I’ll hate you for taking away the one person who not only accepts me for who I am but also understands me and likes me for it. So congrats, Dad. You’ll lose me either way.”
She fumbles with the door handle and storms out of the room, but her hiccups and sniffles stay with me long after she’s gone.
I run a hand over my face and expel a large breath. Seeing her cry is like being sliced open from the inside out.
Even when she was a baby and had to cry now and again, I did my best to stop the flow of her tears. It fucks me up even more now that she’s an adult.
When I woke up, she told me that she didn’t let anyone touch what was mine, but she let Nate touch the most important thing.
Her.
So even though she’s in pain, I won’t console her like I usually do. I won’t bring her tea and joke around until she smiles again. This is out of necessity. To protect her.
Which reminds me that I need to protect her from her fucking mother, too.
The snake who couldn’t just fucking disappear like she did the night she threw her own daughter away.
