I’m still reeling from the letter Daniel left me.
I finally sit down after pacing the extravagant living area like a lunatic under Lolli’s judgmental eyes.
My hands shake and my mind crowds with so many theories and questions.
Like, what was he thinking?
How dare he?
And most importantly; what the hell am I supposed to do now?
The thought of stepping on my pride again makes me nauseous, but that doesn’t compare to the pain of never seeing him again.
Lolli bumps her head on my side as if knowing exactly the amount of distress I’m going through. I pet her black head and stare into her shiny black eyes.
“What should I do, Lolli?”
“I don’t think a cat can offer advice.”
Both Lolli and I jerk up at Zach’s distinctive voice.
I stand on wobbly feet, hiding the letter and all its mysterious contents in my jean pocket.
“I got a call from the London branch lawyer and he was notified that Christopher Vans pulled the custody claim,” is what Aspen told me half an hour ago over the phone, sounding as perplexed as I am.
What did Daniel do to make that lowlife give up Jay…and me?
I was so sure he’d want a claim on my brother just so he’d get to me. That was the whole point behind the custody case because I know for a fact he doesn’t care about his son.
Then, there’s the chef apprenticeship.
The mansion.
Jay’s education.
The staying in London bit.
Just what was Daniel thinking and when did he plan all of this?
Unless he was planning to leave me anyway and this was always the course of action he intended to take.
My lips tremble as I focus on Zach. He has always been attractive, athletic, and so outgoing, he gave Daniel a run for his money when we were younger.
Whereas the old Zach was the charming and handsome type, he now appears detached, bored. The cold and lethal type.
“Do you know where he is?” I don’t recognize the brittleness in my voice.
He checks his thick Rolex watch. “On his way to New York.”
My lips tremble. “But why? Why did you let him?”
“Why not let him? It’s his choice and as much as I don’t understand the sentiment behind it, I can’t exactly lock him up here.” He pauses. “Although that could be arranged.”
“Did he tell you to come to find me?”
“Yes. He wanted you to know that you have a small fortune to your name extracted from his shares that you can use to open your own restaurant. Not to mention that this old thing is being processed to be in your name as we speak. You take the staff that comes with it, too, or you’ll have to do some satanic ritual to be able to fire them.”
“Why?”
“I’m sure they would prefer to work here for free rather than leaving the place.”
“No, why did he do this?”
Zach appears perplexed. “I believe the right word would be that he’s an idiot, but I hope for your sake that you’re not. I’ll be watching what you do with his shares and if I smell a gold-digger who used my brother, I’ll make sure you eat dirt for the rest of your life.”
“I don’t want his money! I only ever wanted him, but that’s never been reciprocated. And now he’s doing this and confusing me…”
“Are you daft?”
“Excuse me?”
Zach’s expression doesn’t change. “You’re either daft or too oblivious to notice. Daniel has been following you like a lost puppy ever since we were kids. He’d ask Mother to lie and say she got you the birthday gifts and he never asks Mother for anything. And he’s now leaving you a fortune that will make your grandchildren live like kings, not to mention that he beat up the scum who assaulted you and cut off his dick like a noodle, then made him drop the custody case for your brother. So please enlighten me, which part in that sounds like he never reciprocated?”
My jaw hurts from how much I clenched it and all I can think about is the last bit he said. “Daniel beat up Christopher?”
“Yes, he didn’t tell me so himself, but I found out on my own. See, he might have chosen to stay away, but that doesn’t mean I’ll let that idiot run loose. When he bought his penthouse in New York City, I made the owner sell me the building so I can get daily reports about him. I did it under another company name, of course, so he doesn’t catch up. Since he landed in London, I had a skilled PI watch him from afar. And before you ask, he didn’t tell me about your assault, I found out about that myself as well. Apparently, Christopher likes going around telling stories about the women he takes advantage of.”
Daniel beat up Christopher and probably threatened him, which is why he dropped the custody case. It must’ve happened that night he came back bleeding and with a devil’s expression on his face.
An onslaught of emotions attacks me and I grab the chair for balance.
The arsehole.
How dare he do all that for me, then leave me behind?
How fucking dare he?
The course of action I have to take clearly materializes in my head. “Zach?”
“Yes.”
“You have a private plane, right?”
“I do.”
“Please let me use it so I can wait for him in New York with a sledgehammer.”
“I will not allow you to hurt my brother.”
“It’s a figure of speech. I’m not actually going to do it.”
He narrows his eyes. “Fine.”
I’m just about to get ready when his phone vibrates. He answers with, “Sterling.”
He listens for a bit, then hangs up. Zach’s expression doesn’t change when he smashes my world to pieces. “Daniel was stabbed.”
My heart has been stuck in my throat ever since Zach told me the news about Daniel’s stabbing.
As in, Daniel is hurt.
As in, he was bleeding on the streets.
The only reason I held on to my cool during the drive to the hospital is the innate need to believe that it’s not as bad as I think.
He will be fine.
He has to be fine.
Or else…
I shake my head, my fingers strangling each other. Zach remains completely detached, typing on his tablet and replying to emails as if his younger brother couldn’t be dead as we speak.
It’s probably his condition, but the need to punch his chest and ask him to do something creeps under my skin like a wildfire.
When the hospital comes into view, I practically leap out of the car before it properly stops. My voice is surprisingly calm when I ask the nurse about Daniel. She asks me if I’m family and I want to strangle her.
I might not be Daniel’s family, but he’s mine. He did so many things for me that my own family didn’t.
He did something no one did.
Like making me feel alive.
Wanted.
Protected.
“I’m his brother,” Zach says, stopping beside me. “She’s his…significant other.”
I stare up at him with wide eyes, but he seems more interested in his phone, whatever he has on that thing.
As soon as the nurse directs me to Daniel’s room, I half jog there, then my rhythm falls into a stroll.
During all my life, I lost people because they tried to protect me.
Papa drowned because he tried to save me.
My mother, as power-hungry as she was, married a lord to secure my future. She killed an innocent woman and attempted to murder her stepdaughter so the field would be free for me.
My younger self lost her dreams and self-respect so I can move on.
Survive.
The thought of Daniel being added to the list physically nauseates me and I have to shake my head and blink my blurry eyes to remain on the right path.
During every disaster that befell me, it was Daniel or the thought of him that pushed me to stay afloat and do better.
This time, I won’t be able to move on with my life.
This time, it’ll be the end.
Zach told me his guy caught the one who stabbed Daniel. He was some low-rent thug and admitted to being paid by Christopher to stab Daniel.
So Daniel is hurt because of me. Because he beat up Christopher for me.
My heart nearly drops to the floor when I reach his room.
Please.
Please let him be all right.
If he still hates me, I’ll disappear. If I’m a bad omen to his life, I’ll never search for him again.
As long as he’s alive.
And well.
And healthy.
My unsteady fingers push the door open and I freeze in the doorway. Daniel sits on a hospital bed, only wearing trousers as a male nurse wraps a bandage around his midsection.
He’s…sitting.
Although his brows are knit together in what I assume is pain, he has his eyes open and he’s conscious.
The nurse clips the bandage, then tells Daniel something, gives him a pill and water, then waits for him to drink it before he shoulders past me.
That’s when Daniel looks at me.
And the emotion on his face shakes me to the bones. I expected surprise, anger, maybe even coldness, but the one I find?
It’s relief.
The encompassing type of it.
The tears I’ve been holding spill on my cheeks as I step inside. “Are you okay?”
He runs his fingers through his hair. It’s a bit tousled, a bit imperfect, just like him right now. “Some pesky stitches, but I’ll be good as new soon. Besides, I’ve been told scars are beautiful so I’ll be rocking that look.”
Despite his light tone, the fire still burns hot and bright inside me. I stop a safe distance away because his closeness would turn that fire into a volcano.
“If that didn’t answer your question, I’m really fine. Stop crying, I hate it.”
A sob bursts free and I cry even harder.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” Daniel grunts as he reaches a hand and pulls me to him, his warm, big palm wrapping around my hair, keeping me nestled to his side.
“Why?” I sniffle through the tears. “Why do you hate to see me cry, take revenge against Christopher for me, leave me your mansion and your money, but still refuse to be with me? Is it so hard to love me?”
He grabs me by the shoulders, pulling me away so his blue eyes, the mixture of the stars and sky, are staring deep into mine. “I became obsessed with you since you gave me that snow globe and laid your head on my thigh. That obsession turned to hatred and fascination over the years. I hated myself because I wanted you more than I wanted anything. I hated myself for never being able to move on from you, for avoiding all blondes because they reminded me of you. So the thing is, you never gave me a choice. The memory of you followed me everywhere like a ghost, or an angel, I’m not sure which. It’s hard to hate you and even harder to forget you, but loving you was the easiest thing that I’ve ever done. It was natural, inevitable, and fucking infinite.”
My lips part open and my brain struggles to process every word he said, but I heard them all. Every single one.
And I still can’t believe it.
I think Daniel said he loves me.
No. Maybe he didn’t.
“Did you… Did you just say you love me?”
“Always fucking have, Nicole. I only figured it out late, as in when you broke my heart, and I was stupid enough to let it rot inside me and not express it.”
“Then…then why do you want to leave me?”
He drops his hands from around my shoulders and I want to grab them and put them there again. I want him to keep touching me, to keep telling me things I would’ve never thought his beautiful mouth would say.
Daniel breathes so harshly, his abdomen contracts and his nostrils flare.
“Tell me,” I insist. “And don’t even think about channeling the cold jerk lurking inside you because I know everything you said last night was to push me away.”
I wasn’t entirely sure earlier, but I’m certain now. If he really didn’t care about me, he wouldn’t have left me his money and took vengeance for me.
He’s not that selfless.
“You said it yourself,” he speaks with a calm that contradicts his disheveled demeanor.
“I said what myself?”
“That I ruined you, Nicole! If I wasn’t a fucking idiot and noticed the signs, if I didn’t choose to see you as the image you projected, I wouldn’t have pushed you into that cunt’s arms. You wouldn’t have lost a part of you that you’ll never get back. And I get that now, I get that no matter what I do, you’ll never forgive me for what happened to you. Which is why I chose to hurt you and myself and fucking leave.”
“You didn’t push me into Christopher’s arms, my unhealthy obsession did. And you know what, I used to blame you sometimes, but I had no right. I also have no right to blame myself. It’s not my or your fault, Daniel. It’s Christopher’s. Okay? And I didn’t mean you ruined me in that sense, I meant emotionally, you arsehole. You keep playing hide-and-seek with me, the moment I think you’re mine, you slip from between my fingers like sand. I’m tired of hoping, pining, and being so irrevocably in love with a man who never looked at me.”
“I did,” he whispers. “When you thought I wasn’t looking. You were the only person I had trouble looking away from.”
“You were glaring at me.”
“Because I loathed how much you affected me even though you were hateful, not only to me but to everyone else.”
I snort out laughter mixed with tears. “Looks like we both misunderstood everything.”
“And we paid for it dearly.” He sighs deeply, painfully. “The years you were out of my life were so empty and desolate, I tried to fill them up with anything available. I didn’t realize I failed until the moment you walked into my office.”
“I was empty, too. And that box is what kept me feeling full enough to survive.” I smile a little. “I want it back, by the way.”
“Including the peach seed?”
“That, too.”
“It can kill you.”
“I always wanted what I shouldn’t have.”
He wraps an arm around my waist, pulling close so his lips are mere inches from mine. “Does that include me?”
“You’re the first on the list.”
A beautiful grin appears on his face. “What if you hate me down the line?”
“Then I will just fall in love with you all over again. I’m persistent like that.”
“You’re fucking weird, did you know that?”
“You told me so when we were eight.”
“I did. But here’s something I didn’t tell you. Since that day, I don’t eat peaches.”
“Why not?”
“I don’t like things that can harm you.”
“Is that why you assaulted Chris?”
“It’s eleven years overdue, but I finally got the righteous type of revenge.”
“You got stabbed for it.”
“It’s worth it,” he speaks against my lips. “You’re worth it, Peaches.”
My palm finds his cheek and even though I can’t believe what he’s telling me, I want more.
I’ve always been greedy about anything that involves Daniel.
“Tell me we’re together. Tell me I’m yours as much as you’re mine.”
“Fuck right we’re together. And I don’t only belong to you, but you’re too deep into my soul, I’d have to die to remove you. And that’s just tragic, so you can’t leave me.”
A lone tear slides down my cheek. “I won’t. I can’t.”
He brushes his lips against mine. “Remember when you asked me where my home is?”
“You said it was nowhere.”
“I lied.” He taps my chest. “My home is wherever you are. You’re my home, Nicole.”
“Oh, Daniel. My heart can’t take this.”
“Stay with me. I haven’t gotten to the most important part.”
My chest squeezes. “And what is that?”
“Remember what you asked me back when we were children?”
“What?”
“You proposed to me.”
My cheeks turn hot. “I was…a kid.”
“It still counts and it’s my turn to propose.” He struggles to his feet, then awkwardly gets on his knee. “You’re the only woman I can imagine spending the rest of my life with. The woman I want to wake up next to every single day. You don’t only make me a better man, but you also give me the urge to be more for you. Nicole Stephanie Adler, will you marry me?”
I choke on my tears. Not just because his proposal feels surreal, but also because he actually knows my middle name.
He knows a lot about me that I thought he didn’t.
I take his arm, trying to pull him to his feet, but he refuses to. “You’ll rip out your stitches.”
“You better say yes then.”
I smile through the tears and open my mouth, but he cuts me off.
“Before you shoot me down, I want to tell you that my dick is now monogamous for you and refuses to be functional for anyone but you, so if you say no, he’ll have to kill himself.”
“How is that possible?”
“No clue, but he’ll find a way. He’s resourceful that way.”
“There’s no need.” I palm his cheek as I drop to my knees in front of him. “The answer is yes.”
“Yes, as in you’ll marry me, or yes to watching my dick come up with a way to go down in history as the first junior to kill himself?”
My laugh is loud and carefree. “I’m marrying you, Daniel. Like I dreamt twenty-one years ago. I loved you then, I’m in love with you now.”
“I loved you then, too.” He grabs me by the nape, pulling me close to him. “I’m mad about you now, Peaches.”
“Why do you call me that when you don’t eat the fruit?”
“You still love it, and I’m low-key glad the thing, as dangerous as it is, brought us close together.”
