AGE EIGHTEEN
What the hell am I doing?
There must be a rule somewhere that says I’m not supposed to say things like that in front of Daniel.
I shouldn’t be calling him my kink or actually getting on my knees so I can get close and smell him. His cologne has always smothered me and clung to my lungs like smoke.
Lime and bergamot is the type of scent I search for in candles, bath bombs, and male perfume. I secretly keep a bottle, too, for when the feelings get too intense and I need to sense him beside me.
There must be a rule somewhere about how I shouldn’t be this attuned to him.
But maybe I didn’t read the fine print of that rule. Maybe rules are stupid, after all.
I’m not controlled by them.
Or the world.
Or how lucky I am.
Maybe, as Papa said, I can go after what I want with as much passion as I can conjure.
Or maybe I shouldn’t have crunched on the remaining ecstasy pill like it was a sweet.
It only made me sleepy, and I meant to do just that until Mum came to pick me up.
But when I woke up, I saw a scene I thought was a mere translation of my many dreams.
Forbidden dreams.
Fantasies.
That can’t be possible, however, because he’s within touching distance.
Because the warmth radiating off his body is bouncing off mine and rolling down in the valley between my breasts.
It’s creating a path to the bottom of my stomach and pooling between my thighs.
Just why is he so beautiful? Why did he have to steal from the stars and the sky—and me?
Why does he have the type of messy hair that falls over his forehead and begs for my fingers in it?
Why did he have the face and body of a model and the soul of a devil on his quest to win a popularity award?
And why, just why did I have to notice him?
It’s become virtually impossible to not look for him anywhere I go as if he’s bewitched me.
Maybe he has dark magic in his eyes.
Satanic rituals in his soul.
“I’m your kink?” he asks with slight bewilderment, but he’s smirking, those beautiful dimples creasing his cheeks.
Ever since I said those embarrassing words, the air has been thick with tension. Sexual, to be more specific.
The last thing I expected to exist between us.
From his side, at least.
But I see it, in his pants, the bulge that’s tenting against the fabric as a clear translation of his desire.
“I put ecstasy in that drink you had earlier,” I say instead of giving an embarrassing answer to his question.
Like you’re my only kink.
Or you’re the reason I even have kinks.
That would be soul-crushingly humiliating. More than wishing for him to touch me, then stupidly proposing to him while I was dying of an allergic reaction.
“I had one, too,” I blurt. “A drink with ecstasy, I mean.”
I expect him to be mad, to glare at me like he usually does, but his smirk widens, and it’s now laced with sadism.
“I didn’t know you were the type who shags.”
“Then what am I?”
“The bitch type with an unhealthy dose of mean-girl endorphins.”
The sting of his words breaks the surface of my fogged-up head. And despite wanting him with every molecule in my DNA, I won’t let him walk all over me.
“Then go find a goody two-shoes for your minuscule penis.” I start to get up, but the world is pulled from beneath me.
Or more like, I’m falling backward.
Daniel has pushed me, I realize, because both his palms are on my shoulders. I have too many fantasies to count, but none of them are as real as the view from beneath him.
He’s hovering over me, his chest rising and falling as hard as my heaving breasts. “Who said I want a goody two-shoes? Besides, that’s the second time you’ve mentioned my cock’s size today, so I’m under the obligation to prove you wrong, Peaches.”
Daniel unzips his jeans, then lowers them and his boxer briefs before he sits on his hunches—on my legs.
My eyes must double in size as his penis pops out. No, cock. Yeah, that thing should definitely be called a cock. It’s huge and hard and veiny and shouldn’t be allowed near a vagina.
“I assume that reaction means you can’t proceed with your plan for my funeral?” The amusement catches me off guard.
And I’m tempted to wipe the smugness off his godlike face. “It’s not that special.”
“Is that why you’re licking your lips like you want to have Junior for dinner?”
“Maybe it’s because I’m disgusted.”
“Stop saying what you don’t mean unless you want to get your mouth fucked.”
“In your dreams—” I’m cut off when he grabs a handful of my dress and pulls me up by it.
His face is mere inches away from mine and it’s red, probably like mine. But there’s no smirk there, no taunting mockery, just pure tension that’s currently wrapping itself around my neck like a noose.
“You were going to do this with Chris anyway, so don’t act like a prude in front of me.”
“I wasn’t going to do anything with Christopher.” Just you. But I don’t say that, because my dignity took enough hits to break an Olympic record.
“Fuck that and your stubborn fucking mouth that I’ll stuff with my dick in a second.”
I want to ask why “in a second,” but my thoughts are interrupted when he reaches for my back and undoes my zipper, then pulls the dress over my head.
My throat gets dry as I sit in front of him in nothing but my nude-colored bra and knickers. They’re lace, too, and cost a small fortune and are so totally worth it, judging by the hungry look on Daniel’s face.
It’s like he really wants to have me for dinner.
Maybe breakfast, too.
Daniel doesn’t open the clasp like a normal person would. His hand latches onto the middle of my bra and rips it open, then he pushes me back down.
My gasp is wordless and as silent as the ruined shreds that fall onto my lap like weightless paper.
He grabs a nipple between his forefinger and thumb, twirling, then pulling with a harshness that wets my inner thighs.
“I always thought you had beautiful tits, never thought they would be this pink and gorgeous. Your tits are made to be fucking worshipped.”
Before I can be mortified at his words, his mouth swallows the other nipple, teeth tugging on the erect flesh with maddening expertise.
A loud moan echoes in the space and I soon realize I’m the source. Not only because he’s devouring my breasts as if they’re his first and last meal, but also because I’m finally focusing on a part of what he said.
“You always thought I was beautiful?” I ask with a voice so breathless, it almost doesn’t sound like mine.
He doesn’t answer, because he’s sucking on my dusty pink nipple like he’s in a race to extract my soul through it.
Is it possible to come from nipple stimulation alone? Because my thighs are shaking and I’m sweating. My blonde hair gets in my eyes and I can’t push it away because I’m holding on to the sheets for dear life.
He releases one of my nipples, but only so he can lower himself and trail his hot lips down my stomach to my flat belly, lingering on the line that separates it from my core for what seems like an eternity.
“You have the beauty of a fucking angel, Peaches.” He rests his chin on my stomach, his eyes clashing with mine for a brief second. “Too bad you possess the personality of the bloody devil.”
My belly clamps and I’m not sure if it’s because of pleasure, pain, or a combination of both.
I’m distracted, though, because his teeth are on the hem of my knickers. And like the animal that shone in his eyes a second ago, he uses his teeth to slowly slide them down, uncovering my bare pussy.
The act is so erotic that my hands barely keep me upright.
Is this too much or am I thinking that because of the ecstasy? For some reason, I don’t think the drug would make me throw myself in someone else’s arms.
“You’re oddly responsive,” he muses, releasing my underwear for a second before he shreds them with his teeth like he did to my bra.
I’m not prepared for what happens next.
Completely and absolutely taken off guard.
I couldn’t have imagined it if I tried.
Daniel slides his hot tongue on my clit. One long, single swipe and all my nerve endings explode.
“You’re dripping wet, Peaches. Did you know that you taste like a fucking fantasy?”
“S-stop saying things like that.”
“Why?” He speaks against my folds, the rumble of his voice adding to the stimulation. “Still too prim and proper for crude words?”
“You don’t have to include a commentary for what’s happening.”
“How else will I tell you that I’ll be eating your pussy for dinner while you choke on my dick like a little whore?”
“D-Daniel!”
He chuckles, the sound vibrating on my sensitive skin. Then he lifts his head and licks his lips suggestively. “I have a lot to educate you on. Tell me, have you sucked a dick before, Peaches?”
I remain silent, my pulse about to jump out of my throat.
To say I haven’t thought about this moment before would be a blatant lie, but never in my wildest dreams did I imagine that it would lead to this.
I’m completely and utterly out of my depth here.
“You did?” His eyes have darkened, turning pools of deep blue. Then he wipes his finger beneath my lower lip with sudden harshness. “Did these venomous lips open for a cock before? Did they get swollen and red like when you ate those deadly peaches because you liked them? Did you suck and deep-throat a limp dick with these same lips, hmm?”
I can’t inhale air properly. His words have stolen my oxygen and sanity and everything in between.
Just how can he sound so damn hot when he says such filthy words? Under different circumstances, I would be saying, “Eww, gross,” but I can’t even speak now. And gross is the last feeling inside me.
He takes my silence as a challenge, though. Or maybe an acceptance, because his touch turns more explorative, harsh even.
“You won’t remember any other cock once I’m done with you.”
He releases me and before I can miss the contact, he pulls his shirt over his head, then kicks his jeans and boxer briefs away.
A sculptor couldn’t have made a body as perfect as Daniel’s. He has a cut abdomen that flexes with his movements, but he’s not too buff, not too in your face.
A model through and through.
No wonder scouts kept asking his mother to sign him to their agencies.
No wonder girls fell to their knees in front of him with no effort on his part.
No wonder I couldn’t move away from him.
I wish it was only because of his Greek god looks or charming traits. I wish I only saw his exterior and decided that was all I needed.
I wish I hadn’t dug my nose into him as much as I did and learned shit I should’ve never been privy to.
But I did.
And now, I’m too hopeless. Too involved.
Too…obsessed.
With everything about him—from the flutter of his lashes to the flexing of the tendons in his muscular shins.
Everything.
I wish he saw something in me, too—anything.
But if the only thing he sees right now is my body, then so be it.
One day, it’ll be more.
…Right?
Daniel flips me on my side and then lies opposite me. His cock juts in my face and his hot breaths are inches away from my pussy.
“This is called sixty-nine, Miss Prude. I’m going to devour your little pussy until I make you scream and you will open those lips and suck my cock like you do those lollipops when no one is looking.”
My eyes widen.
How the hell did he see that when I only do it in secret?
I don’t get a chance to think about it before he thrusts his hips so his thing is at my lips. Cock, I chastise myself. It’s called a cock, Nicole.
I slowly open my lips and he drives all the way in. My mouth is so full of him and I still don’t get it all in.
“Now, suck and make it good.”
I hear the challenge in his voice loud and clear, and I rise up to it like a moth who’s well aware that it’ll burn to death.
My tongue creates friction and I’m rewarded with a grunt. In my haste to do it faster, I graze him with my teeth.
The sound that comes out of him is nearly animalistic. “Don’t use teeth, Nicole. Hollow your cheeks, loosen your jaw, and do it faster.”
His order is like an aphrodisiac. My movements are less awkward and more determined as I suck him with everything in me.
“That’s it, Peaches. Good girl.”
I’m surprised my heart doesn’t spill on the mattress right here and now.
Shit.
Why did those two measly words coupled with that nickname feel as if he’s thrusting inside my core instead of my mouth?
I’m still pondering on the strange sensation his words elicited when he places an open-mouthed kiss on my pussy.
It’s so hard and intense that I physically jerk.
But I don’t release him. My mouth is still wrapped around his cock as he rocks his hips, driving in and out in a measured rhythm.
His teeth nuzzle on my soaked folds and then he bites down, making me choke on his girth.
Holy…
Why are my teeth not good for him, but his teeth make me feel like I’m about to explode into a million pieces?
His hot lips wrap around the bruised, sensitive flesh and then he’s sucking on it.
Licking, teasing, kissing.
The chain of events repeats again. Pain, then overwhelming pleasure.
And just when I’m about to get used to the rhythm, he thrusts his tongue inside my core.
It’s intrusive, yet intimate and erotic and so damn intense that I feel myself being rolled to the edge of something. What, I have no clue.
All I’m sure about is that it isn’t a mere orgasm. It’ll be the mother of all orgasms.
But I don’t allow myself to fall into it—not yet. I can’t lose to him.
So even if my thighs are trembling and my heart is about to explode from its confinement, I keep on licking and sucking.
It’s messy and awkward at best, but I don’t fall behind. When he twists my clit between his thumb and forefinger, I reach out to touch his balls.
The more he grunts against my opening, the harder I moan around his dick.
It’s a game.
A push and pull.
And we’re both not playing by the rules. In fact, there’s no such thing at this moment.
No codes.
No rules.
No words.
Just us.
And I’m losing, because his pace has become impossible to keep up with. I’m falling, shattering, and crashing on solid ground.
The orgasm is so hard and swift that I don’t even get to think about it as it hooks against my bones and drags me under.
I scream and he pulls out of my mouth.
“W-what? No…” I don’t want to lose.
“I can’t wait anymore. I need to fuck this tight pussy like I need my next breath.” Daniel flips around and lies opposite me until his face is mere inches away from mine.
The brightness in his eyes is nothing like I’ve seen before. Like a rare shooting star, the type people camp outside to see up close and personal.
I choose to think it’s because this moment means something to him as much as it consumes me and not because he’s simply drugged.
Daniel lifts my leg, places it on his hip and thrusts inside me.
My breath catches as his huge cock tears into me.
Literally.
Figuratively.
Then stops, meeting an obstacle.
“Fuck…” he breathes harshly, his ocean eyes drooping with lust and something else. “Relax, Peaches. If I didn’t know any better, I would say you’re a virgin.”
I turn my face to the other side, biting my lower lip.
He goes still, his cock twitching inside me—probably, like me, needing him to move or do something. I can feel the tension in his thigh beneath my leg.
“Wait…are you a virgin, Nicole?”
Shut up. Shut up.
“Look at me.”
I slowly shake my head. I can’t bear the heat of his eyes. Can’t possibly stand how he’ll look at me.
Will it be with pity?
Mockery?
His usual sadism?
While I pretend I can handle that on normal days, I don’t think I’m able to right now.
Lean, firm fingers wrap around my chin and turn me so I’m facing him again. So I’m held hostage in that star-like prison. Bright from the inside but dark up close.
“Answer the question. Are you a virgin?”
“Why are you asking?”
“Tell me, Nicole. Am I the first you’ve allowed to see you like this? The first dick you’re letting tear into your tight little cunt?”
“So what if you are? Is that a problem?”
A strange gleam covers his face and takes refuge in his eyes. It’s almost…like possessiveness. “Could be.”
“What…what do you mean?”
“You’re too tight and my dick is too huge.” He thrusts another inch in as if to prove a point. “And if I’m your first, I’ll probably tear through your virgin cunt and make you bleed all over my cock while I fuck you hard and deep.”
“S-stop talking like that…”
“I’m just stating facts so you know what you’re in for. It’ll hurt.”
“Do you think pain scares me?”
I’ve been in pain for years and I never shied away from it. If anything, I embraced it like a junkie with multiple addictions.
Hopeless addictions.
Up until now.
His lips tilt and I’m blessed with his dimples. For once, they’re solely directed at me. “I didn’t think it did.”
“It doesn’t.”
“I’ll fuck you now and I’m not holding back.”
The first stroke nearly has me retracting what I said. The pain sears through me like wildfire when he’s all the way in.
I feel him so deep inside me, it’s kind of scary that he can even reach such a secret place I didn’t even realize existed outside of romance novels.
The second thrust, however, leaves me panting with my lips parted wide. A zap of pleasure pools between us and it’s wet, I realize, not sure if it’s blood or arousal, but the effect is the same.
My nails sink into his chest and I think I start hyperventilating because he grabs me by my nape and slows his pace.
“Breathe, Peaches. Don’t collapse on me.”
I use his eyes as anchors and I focus on inhaling and exhaling.
“That’s it.” He thrusts deep and hard. “Mmm. Good girl.”
I don’t know if it’s the way he’s touching me, holding me, fucking me, or maybe it’s the way his eyes are trapping mine.
But I come. Hard.
So hard that white dots form behind my lids and my whole body caves into his.
Daniel keeps on driving inside me over and over. And it’s like he’s elongating my orgasm.
He pulls out and I think he’s done, but he flips me on my stomach and grabs my hips so my arse is in the air.
“Did you know that I have a perfect view of your dripping cunt from this position? You’re so wet, it’s staining the mattress.”
“S-stop it…”
“Why? You look the most beautiful I’ve seen you, Peaches.”
The position makes my cheek heat, but I’m unable to process that when he slaps my left arse cheek and thrusts in again.
Oh, God.
It’s like being on a rollercoaster. And why the hell am I so turned on by being slapped on the arse?
His pace is more animalistic, as if he was only preparing me earlier. His thrusts turn deeper, harder, and out of control.
My body shakes on the mattress and my head spins as my moans are broken off by his maddening rhythm.
“Dan…slow…down…” The lust is apparent in my chopped-off tone.
“Why? You want me to stop?”
“No…”
“Then shut that mouth, Peaches. I call the shots now and I’m going to fuck you in every position. I’ll fuck you for every time you made me want to grab you by the throat and back you against the nearest object. I’ll fuck you for every time you screwed me over.”
“Dan…”
“Shhh. And you don’t have the right to call me that. We’re not friends, Nicole. Never were and never will be. I’m not of your standing, am I? No one is.”
“Bloody idiot…” I mutter, feeling moisture stinging my eyes, but I don’t let it loose.
“You’re a little bitch, but not when you’re underneath me. Not so high and mighty when you’re stuffed with my dick, are you?”
“I hate you.”
“Not more than I hate you. But my cock loves your tight little pussy. Mmm. Do you feel how you swallow me in with every thrust?”
I close my eyes, but it’s brief, merely a fraction of a second. Daniel wraps my hair in a fist and pulls me back by it until his lips meet my ear.
“Don’t hide when I’m fucking you, Peaches. Next time you let a dick in you, I want you to remember how this feels.”
He thrusts deeper, harder, hitting a place that makes me see stars every time. Seeming attuned to my body language, he keeps doing it over and over until I’m moaning again.
His grunts echo with my moans, creating a fucked-up symphony. And then he pulls out, slaps my arse again, and shoots his cum all over it.
It stings against my hot flesh.
By the time he releases my hair, I collapse on the mattress, arse still in the air.
I’m exhausted, my body aches, and I feel like I’ll pass out.
A heavy weight falls on my back. His chest that’s slick with sweat rubs off my heated skin as he whispers in my ear, “Don’t fall asleep, Peaches. I haven’t even started with you yet.”
When Daniel said he hadn’t even started yet, he meant every word.
I lost count of how many times he fucked me.
On the bed, in the shower. Even on the floor.
He put me in positions I didn’t think were physically possible and took me to lengths I wouldn’t have deemed humanly accessible.
It was the first time I had sex and he turned that into a marathon. But I think it was the drugs that kept me going.
At times, I thought I would faint, but all he had to do was stimulate me and I’d be chasing the pleasure right there with him.
Fucking like animals.
He has the stamina of a sex god, I swear.
No wonder the girls who’ve slept with him brag about it for anyone who’ll listen. No wonder his reputation has reached other schools.
He would do so well as a porn star with a modeling gig on the side.
And that thought fills me with red-hot trepidation. It makes my blood go green with jealousy.
But I can push that to the side because this moment is more important.
We’re kissing right now. Or more like, he’s devouring me against the shower wall after he fucked me against it.
His lips taste rougher and sweeter than I’ve ever imagined.
They’re like my custom-made drug, and I can keep kissing them until I take my last breath. He’s a generous lover who always puts my pleasure before his own, makes me come before he does, and while he’s my first, I know most men don’t really care.
If I say I’m surprised, that would be a lie. Daniel might have been the founder of my anti-fan club, but he’s generally a generous person. He volunteers in charities when other rich kids let their parents’ money take care of it.
I’m not only happy that he’s my first, but I’m also so utterly relieved.
Sex didn’t really interest me. More accurately, sex with other people who aren’t Daniel didn’t interest me.
His cum trickles down my thigh with the water and that’s when my brain that’s been fogged with lust catches on.
My lips leave his with a jerk.
Annoyance contorts his handsome face, probably because I interrupted his fun.
His hair sticks to his temples and the droplets of water travel down his chest, kissing his pecs and licking his already semi-hard cock.
“You…didn’t use a condom.”
“Kind of late to point out the obvious, Peaches.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“I forgot.”
“You what?”
He grabs my nape, which I’m starting to think is his sign for me to either shut up or pay attention.
Maybe both.
“Don’t give me that attitude when you’ve forgotten yourself.”
“But it was my first time.”
“That was at least five times ago.”
“And you forgot all those times!”
“I was kind of busy fucking your brains out, Nicole. Don’t make a bloody event out of this.”
“What if you give me some STD from your previous sexcapades? God knows you’ve probably dipped in half of London’s available holes.”
He flattens my back against the wall and I have no choice but to stare up at him. I didn’t know he could be so domineering when he sets his mind to it.
“Are you keeping tabs on me, Peaches?”
“In your dreams. I’m just worried about my health.”
“Not terribly worried if you didn’t bring condoms for your fucking session with Chris.” He sounds disapproving, angry even.
“I told you that was not my plan. Do you at least use protection with the others?”
“Why? Worried I’ll become a teen dad?”
“One, that would be awful for Aunt Nora. She doesn’t deserve your trouble. Two, I’m worried for myself.”
“You won’t get anything.”
I narrow my eyes. “Are you sure?”
“Yeah. What I’m not sure about, however, is whether or not you’ll become a teen mum.”
“I’m on birth control! You’re the last person whose spawn I would want inside me.”
He twists his lips with apparent displeasure or exasperation, I’m not sure.
“And who’s the first on your list?”
“None of your business. Maybe I don’t want kids for the next ten years. Wait a minute, why am I talking about kids with you?”
“Because you secretly want me to be your baby daddy. I’m rich, smart, charming, and most importantly of all, I have the right equipment.”
His cock brushes against my thigh, and a frisson jolts through me. He’s looking at me like he’ll fuck me hard and fast again.
Like he’ll make me scream his name while he does it.
“No…no way, Daniel.”
“Why not? You’re trembling for it.”
“Are you a sex addict?”
“You make me a sex maniac, Peaches, and I’ll devour you for it. I’ll fuck you until neither of us can stand anymore.”
“Don’t you…hate me?”
“I can still want you.”
“That’s all?”
His eyes meet mine, but it’s brief before he lowers his head and sinks his teeth into the space between my collarbone and shoulder, then speaks against it, “Believe me, you don’t want anything else from me.”
“Why…not?”
“Because the world is beneath you, Nicole. Me included.”
I shudder, and it’s not only because his teeth are back to that sensitive place, biting and sucking like he needs to engrave something on my flesh.
A memory.
A memento.
Or a detail much more nefarious.
My body melts against his as I scramble for words to tell him he was never beneath me.
He was and will always be my darkest, most forbidden fantasy.
“Daniel, I—”
“Fire!” Someone bangs on the door as commotion filters through from outside.
Daniel and I look at each other and then he’s pulling me out of the bathroom and into the room. We hastily dry ourselves and Daniel puts himself together in no time.
Then he sighs when he sees me fussing with my dress’s ribbons.
“Give it.”
He doesn’t wait for me. He snatches the dress from between my fingers and puts it on me with staggering efficiency. I have no underwear on and my wet hair drips onto the dress, but that doesn’t matter as Daniel grabs me by the wrist and drags me out.
A commotion greets us in the hallway. People running, others screaming, and fire extinguishers being used in the most amateurish way.
I’m slightly overwhelmed by all the chaos, the smell of smoke, and the shouts.
Daniel, however, seems more focused than me. He moves forward, pushing everyone out of his way as he keeps me firmly behind him with his warm hand wrapped tightly around my wrist.
And just like that, the whole turbulence loses meaning. The dread from the fire is now nonexistent.
He then brings out his phone and holds it to his ear.
“Pick up, Astrid. Come on.”
I bite my lower lip the more his brows draw together when she doesn’t answer.
As soon as we get outside, it’s chaos. The left wing of the house is completely in flames. Students are taking videos, others are running or screaming or being loud for no apparent reason.
“Nicole!”
“What?” I realize Daniel is speaking to me when he snaps his fingers in front of my face.
“Do you have your car?”
“Yeah.”
“Can you drive?”
“No. I feel a bit drunk.”
“Fuck. Just wait here.”
“What…where are you going?”
“I need to find Astrid. She’s not answering her phone.”
I grab onto his arm with both hands, and for the first time since I’ve known him, I say, “No, go back with me.”
It doesn’t matter that I already asked Mum to pick me up, I want him to be the one who does it.
His brow furrows and when he doesn’t make a move, I do something else I’ve never done. I beg, “Please.”
His eyes clash with mine for a second, and I can see his walls tumbling, but before I can peek at what’s behind them, he pulls them right back up.
Daniel removes my hand from his arm. “I’ll find Astrid and be right back.”
And then he’s running through the house again.
I fall to a sitting position on the steps, my heart hammering and my chest wounded.
It’s dripping blood on the concrete; no one can see it, but it’s right there.
Dark.
Red.
Lethal.
The need to cry hits me like a natural disaster that demands to happen, but I don’t let the tears loose.
I stay.
I wait.
In the midst of the chaos, the fire, the firefighters.
I sit there and wait.
And wait.
But Daniel never came back for me.
And just like that, I’ve become invisible again.
