A tremor jolts through my limbs and I freeze.
Ever since I saw Knox on the balcony, I knew this would happen.
I knew he’d get caught by someone. Anyone. I just didn’t think it’d be Papa himself.
You don’t get into the Pakhan’s house while he’s surrounded by his leaders and guards and hope to leave unscathed.
But I thought we had more time with the way all of them were preoccupied with the Yakuza stuff. I thought I could make Knox leave before they found him.
I might have let my vulnerability take hold of me for a while. I might have missed him so much that I just wanted to touch him, to make sure this wasn’t one of my cruel dreams that I’d soon wake up from.
I wasn’t jolted awake this time. Everything was real, whether it’s the way he kissed me, held me by the throat, or fucked me.
No, it wasn’t all fucking. At some point, he was making love to me while staring into my eyes.
At some point, he brought his forts down and allowed me to see him. All of him. Not the put-together lawyer who can blind anyone with his charisma, but the boy he once was. The broken, wounded boy he refuses to let anyone see.
But he let me. Only me.
I swear something inside me melted and fused with him at that moment. No idea what, but he’s holding it even now as we stare at Papa, Vladimir, and Adrian.
The most powerful men in the Bratva.
They’re not looking at me, though. Their hawk-like attention is on Knox and his grip on my hand. I try to release him, but he just tightens his hold on my fingers, refusing to budge.
“What is this?” Papa asks in his firm tone that rattles me to my bones.
My throat is dry and the words are stuck, but the stern look in my father’s gaze propels me to fumble for words. “I…I can explain, Papa…he…he’s…”
“I’m the man who loves your daughter and I refuse to leave without her.”
“Knox!” I hiss low, my wild gaze flying to my father’s.
“Then you won’t leave. Not alive, at least,” he says, then motions with two fingers at his guards who charge forward at Knox.
The worst-case scenario materializes in front of me as Papa’s buff guard reaches for him. I don’t even think about it as I jump in front of Knox, trying to ward off their malicious intentions.
“Papa…please don’t do this.”
“I told you to cut off all ties with him, Anastasia, but you didn’t. So we’re doing this my way.”
The guards push me aside and I trip, but Knox grips me by the arm to keep me standing.
I grab onto him as if he’s a lifeline. If he’s going to hurt Knox, he’ll have to hurt both of us.
Knox, however, steps in front of me, partly shielding me from my father. His broad shoulders are the only thing I see and I find solace in that. Safety in the midst of the chaos that’s whirling around me.
“Don’t touch her,” Knox tells the guards, his posture turning rigid and his voice holding a lethal edge.
“Or what?” It’s Vlad who asks in his thick, scary accent. “Do you think you can do anything? Here, of all places? I can put a bullet in your head in the next second for your insolence alone.”
Knox remains in his erect posture, not even a little fazed by Vladimir’s threats. “Is that how you treat possible business associates?”
“Associate?” Adrian asks with a note of curiosity.
Knox stares at Papa. “I have an offer for you, but I’ll not make it unless I’m given your word that Anastasia will be safe and free from any engagement you forced on her.”
“You do not make demands in my own house.” Papa’s voice hardens and I know he’s getting angry. I can taste the thickness of it in the air.
So I soften my voice. “Just…hear him out, Papa.”
I have no clue what type of plan Knox came up with, but any plan is better than nothing at this point.
“What’s your offer?” Adrian asks.
“I won’t say anything until I’m given your word.”
“Speak or I’ll put that bullet between your eyes.” Vlad doesn’t reach for his waistband, but I don’t have to see it to know there’s a gun there.
I release a fractured breath and tighten my sweaty hand on Knox’s, then whisper, “Just say whatever you came to say…please…”
If he doesn’t, Papa won’t hesitate to give the order to kill him. And if I witness that, I won’t be able to survive.
I can tell Knox doesn’t want to budge, but playing hotheadedness with the leaders of the brotherhood is the last thing he wants to do. These are men who are used to violence and wouldn’t hesitate to use it on him.
When I squeeze his hand one more time, he says, “I heard you’re looking to legitimize more of your income through your legal front, V Corp, and I can help with that.”
“How?” Adrian asks.
“I own a third of a multi-billion-dollar empire that’s currently managed by my father and my sister. That’s how.”
“So you’ll invest in V Corp.” It’s not a question. Adrian is grappling with details and forming his own theories. “How much are we talking about?”
“Every penny to my name.”
I gasp, holding my hand to my mouth to hide the sound. Did he just say he’ll give all his money to my family?
For me?
Papa watches Knox without a change of expression and Vladimir still has suspicion written all over his face.
It’s Adrian who remains in his calm and continues his interrogation. “Wouldn’t your father oppose such a step? I believe a successful businessman like him wouldn’t want ties with us.”
“I already spoke to him and he won’t interfere with any decisions I make about my inheritance.”
A brief silence falls in the hall and I fidget, my hands turning clammier in Knox’s as I wait with bated breath. In theory, they should agree. Adrian of all people would because profit is his first aim, but Vlad and Papa are much more traditionalist and wouldn’t look at it from that perspective.
He’s still an outsider and definitely not Russian.
“Leave,” Papa tells Knox.
“I said I won’t until you give me your word—”
“Leave,” Papa cuts him off, but he’s not threatening him again. He’s not telling him that if he doesn’t leave, he’ll kill him.
Which means he’s changed his mind about something, or maybe he’s considering another option.
I can’t help the hope that blossoms beneath my ribcage and spreads to my whole body.
Knox is about to say something, but I grab his arm and shake my head. I rise on my tiptoes and whisper to his ear, “This is the closest thing to a truce that he can offer, so just go… I’ll call you.”
“No.”
“Knox, please…you won’t get another chance to leave this house alive.”
“I don’t want it if it means separating from you.”
A shadow falls over us and it’s Vlad, glaring at both of us. “Are you going to leave with your head in place or should I sever it first?”
“He will,” I say firmly and then nudge Knox, begging him with my eyes to make the smart choice.
His jaw tightens and those beautiful golden eyes darken. For a second, I think he’ll say no and land himself in trouble, but he slowly relaxes his jaw.
“If she doesn’t call me in a day,” he tells my father, “I’ll be back, and this time, you won’t be able to kick me out.”
Vlad steps forward, probably to smack him for the insolence of speaking to the Pakhan that way, but Papa shakes his head.
Knox pulls me to him, brushes his lips on the top of my head, then says, “I’ll be back, beautiful.”
And with that, he slowly releases me and walks between Papa and Adrian with sure confidence.
I release a large gulp of air when none of the guards follow him.
He should be safe.
For now.
“Adrian, Vladimir,” Papa starts. “Wait for me in my office.”
They comply with a nod, even though Vlad hesitates. Adrian gives me a knowing look, one I don’t really understand, but for some reason, I want to believe it’s a good sign.
Papa goes into my room and I take the cue to follow him, my body heavy and exhausted, which has nothing to do with the way Knox took me ruthlessly, then gently, worshipping my body in ways I’ve never felt before.
As much as I want to think of him, I force myself to shake those thoughts away. I really shouldn’t be picturing Knox and sex when Papa’s shoulders are crowding with tension. He stands by my desk and watches the monitors as if it’s the first time he’s seen them.
Well, he rarely comes into my room, but he was the one who bought me my setup when I first started getting hooked on coding and computers.
He’s also the one who took it away when I came back by severing the power cables in my room.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have let you go into computer engineering,” he says with no animosity, running his long, meaty fingers across the mouse pad.
Papa might have gotten old, but nothing, absolutely nothing could erase the power that radiates off him. My uncle was more ruthless, louder, and a man not to be messed with. My papa seemed the more approachable one, the strategist of sorts, but everyone knows Papa has the type of power that simmers beneath the surface and only shows when it’s necessary.
It’s not by a stroke of luck that everyone in the Bratva respects him. Men like Adrian, Vlad, Kirill, and even Damien see him as their Pakhan, and those men don’t bend the knee to just anyone.
Even Kyle, Rai’s husband, a merciless hitman who has no allegiance to anyone but himself, considers Papa the leader. Rai’s love and adoration for my father plays a role, but still.
“If you hadn’t, maybe you wouldn’t have left,” he continues.
“I would’ve found a way to protect Babushka after you sent her back to Russia.”
“She’s no good for you. That woman only fills your head with flowery dreams that have no place in our world.”
“Papa, please don’t hurt her—”
“You think I’m heartless enough to hurt a dying woman?”
“I don’t know. You really won’t hurt her?”
“No.”
“T-thank you, Papa.”
“If you really want to thank me, then do as you’re told and forget about the British lawyer.”
My chest deflates. “It’s not up to me. I…can’t. He makes me feel special, like my existence has meaning. He doesn’t see me as your daughter or the Bratva’s sheltered princess, he sees me as me. Just me. And I want that, Papa. I want to get out of yours and the brotherhood’s shadow. I want to be me.”
I gulp in air after my word vomit. I wouldn’t have been able to say those words if he were facing me. Even though I’m grown now, he’s still that god-like man who finished my stepfather’s life in a blink.
Papa slowly turns around and I expect anger, but his expression remains unperturbed.
I wait for him to say something, but the door barges open and I startle. Damien waltzes inside with that black cat swagger of his.
“I’m sorry, Boss.” My father’s senior guard peeks in. “I’ll escort him out.”
Damien tilts his head in the guard’s direction. “First of all, fuck you. Second of all, fuck off before I stab you.”
Papa motions at his senior guard to leave and he snarls at Damien. “Wait in my office with the others, Orlov.”
“I just want to say something and then I’ll be out of your hair.”
“What?” my father asks with a note of impatience.
“As much as I appreciate Nastyusha for being a vodka lover, I can’t marry her.”
My lips part and I stare at Damien with wide eyes. Never in my wildest dreams would I have expected him to back off. Not after he said he wouldn’t get on my father’s bad side for something he considers trivial—marriage.
“Why not?” Papa’s voice hardens.
“Remember that word I gave to Abe about marrying his daughter? I’m keeping it, after all.”
“You were fine with breaking it not too long ago.”
A dark smile lifts Damien’s lips and he looks like a fallen angel. “That was before I knew who my future wife-to-be is.”
“That doesn’t change anything, Orlov.”
“Yes, it does, Pakhan.”
“Are you choosing a Japanese over a Russian?”
“I’m choosing the Japanese for us. Believe me, you’ll like what I do with this whole fucking thing. Besides, Nastyusha loves that lawyer and I’d rather not kill a citizen and have her slice my throat in my sleep.” He grins at me. “You owe me one.”
And with that, he turns around and leaves, humming a tune.
I keep staring at his back, but that only lasts for a second, until Papa’s guard closes the door.
Before I can wrap my head around what Damien said, Papa’s clipped voice reaches me. “You’ll marry Kirill or Vladimir.”
“Papa!”
“Pick one.”
“Vlad is like my older brother.”
“Kirill then.”
“Papa, please, no. He’s even worse than Damien. Not only is he cunning and manipulative, but he’ll also only use me to become the Pakhan.”
“So be it.”
Tears slide down my face. “Is that all I’ve ever been to you? A pawn on a chessboard? A prize for the most suitable?”
He’s silent for a beat before he lets out a long exhale. “I have lung cancer, Nastyusha.”
“W-what?”
“I’m in remission, but the doctors say I could relapse at any time and I might have to start counting my days.”
The room sways but I realize it’s me as I grab onto the nearest chair and use it as support. The information he just revealed pricks my skin over and over.
Papa has cancer—or used to.
“Oh, God, is this why you wanted to marry me off that time, but Rai volunteered to do it? You wanted to pick a new Pakhan, too.”
“Yes. Only Rai and Vladimir know about my illness and we’ve kept it a secret from everyone else on purpose. I wanted to choose someone suitable for you before my time is up.”
I don’t think about it as I approach him until I’m so close, I can see how pale his skin is. Now that I think about it, right before I left, there were times when he pulled away from me and even refused to see me. And that pained me more than I admitted. It hurt to be just a wallflower in his house.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Papa?”
“Because I don’t want to hurt you.”
“But I’m your daughter. I’m supposed to take care of you.”
“You’ve always seen me as strong and powerful. That day I shot that lowlife, you looked at me as if I were a god, and I selfishly needed you to continue looking at me as such. I don’t want you to witness me weak and coughing up blood.”
“I don’t care…I just want to be there for you like you were there for me when I was young.”
He offers me his hand and I take it, sniffling back the tears. “Nastyusha…listen to me. You have to marry within the brotherhood to remain protected.”
“No, Papa, I can’t. I just can’t marry Kirill or anyone else when I’m in love with Knox. It’ll kill me slowly.”
“Nastyusha…”
“Please give him a chance, Papa. Please. You’d be surprised to see the lengths he’d go to protect me and be there for me.”
“What if he doesn’t succeed?”
“He will.” I have no doubt.
Because I realized something today.
Knox and I might belong to different worlds, but we belong together, and once we both put our minds to it, nothing can stop us.
