Gracie,
Now that the season is underway, it got me thinking.
Having you around, watching in the stands, following stats, listening to you recap a match, the random shit you pick up on, it all brought it home.
Do you remember when you traveled around the circuit with Kow and me?
There was a point where you were the only person I listened to. Not my teammates, not management, not even Coach, and certainly not Kow.
You.
What you don’t know about hockey is something that I can write on a postage stamp, but it’s more than that. Your insight has always been impressive. How you view the world has fascinated me since forever.
Now that that’s back in my life, I truly feel blessed.
I didn’t realize what I lost until you were gone.
Do you know what sucked the most?
You walked away from Kow but you left me behind too.
I didn’t talk to him for months after you moved out.
I should have seen the writing on the wall when you started giving him hell for drinking too much and partying too hard… He can be a vindictive piece of shit when he wants.
I’d have helped set that whole ‘green dye affair’ up, Gracie. I’d have willingly gone green so you could get your payback. I know I told you to back off him, but listening to you two argue requires the patience of a saint. We both know I’m no saint, Gracie. Because of that, you put me on his team instead of believing I’d automatically be on yours. If you’d known I’m always on your side, maybe you wouldn’t have gone to university in fucking Vancouver.
Four-and-a-half-thousand clicks, Gracie. Could you have moved farther away from me?
I still think back to those days with fondness, you know? Before New York, I missed them so much. I never imagined that these past couple of months with you would be a thousand times better. Without Kow to mess shit up, without him to rile you into a bad mood, this, us, it’s too good.
Too perfect.
The only thing that’d improve perfection?
If, whenever you bite that lip of yours, I had the right to kiss you out of your funk.
If, whenever you snarl at me, I had the right to drag you into my arms.
If, whenever you laugh, I had the right to taste your happiness.
One day…
Until then, I’m going to spoil you. I’m going to insert myself into your life until you don’t remember a time without me.
Round one, two, and three are already underway, but round four is just about to begin…
Liam
