“Tell me how you feel.” I ran the leather tongue of the riding crop along Livvie’s outstretched arm. I watched as she shivered. The tiny hairs on her arm stood on end.
Livvie opened her mouth to speak, stopped, swallowed, and then replied.
“Excited,” she said. She shivered again and the leather straps that held her in place on the cross creaked. There wouldn’t be any kicking or flailing to interrupt me this time.
“Was that your first thought? I don’t think it was.” I continued down her arm and over her shoulder. I knew she liked it when I kissed her down her spine. I let the crop caress her where my lips typically would.
We hadn’t done this before, not as lovers. I had my doubts about doing it at all, but she insisted. Her book was nearly finished. She’d been working on it more aggressively in the weeks leading up to her request. Between Livvie’s writing, work, and school schedule, I’d hardly spent any time with her since my birthday. She needed this, she said. She needed to remember how it felt. She needed to recreate it.
I didn’t want her to remember. I didn’t want to remember. Yet, there I was, crop in hand. It was a pull too compelling to resist. I wouldn’t use the belt. I wouldn’t leave the marks I’d left the first time. If Livvie could re-imagine the events of our past, I could too. I could give her pain and pleasure. I could finally let the fading ghost of our past die and rest in peace. It was time for us to go on living.
I tapped her gently on her flank. She jumped.
“I asked you a question. Was excited your first response?”
“No,” she whispered. “I’m… I’m afraid.”
Yes, she was afraid. I’d learned her fear very well. In fact, I consider myself a connoisseur of fear. I know there are as many varieties of fear as there are colors in a rainbow. Livvie was afraid, but it was a brand of fear I very much enjoyed.
“Fear is part of it.” I slapped at her inner thighs gently. I liked the sound it made. “You’re defenseless. You’re vulnerable. You’re completely at my mercy.” I stood behind her, unmoving, and I smelled her fear. True to her word, there was excitement as well. I leaned in and kissed the shell of her ear. “You. Are. Mine. Say it for me.”
She sagged in her bonds. Her head fell on my shoulder and she nuzzled against me.
“I’m yours, Caleb.” I was always Caleb while she was vulnerable. My name on her tongue reminded me of slipping into a worn pair of shoes. I’d been called Caleb most of my life, and were it not for Livvie, the name would be lost to me. Caleb had done horrible things—he’d been a monster—but he’d also allowed James to survive. Caleb deserved to live. I could be both men. I am both men.
I stepped back and took in the sight in front of me piece by piece. Her long mane of ebony hair cascaded down her slender back. I couldn’t wait to hold it as I fucked her. I’d put her in red satin. Every miniscule movement caused the red fabric to shift and offer a different tantalizing bit of skin. The panties were scant. The meaty flesh of her backside appeared plumper by way of the cut. With her legs spread open on the X-shaped cross, I could catch glimpses of her pussy when she tried to adjust. Thick black straps made of leather held her in place at wrists and ankles.
My heart raced at the thought of whipping her. There was the hum of guilt living within me, but my baser urges banged like a drum in my veins. She was mine. She’d given herself to me, and I would take possession of her as surely as she had taken possession of my battered soul. The void in me had been filled by her love and forgiveness. All that she asked was that I give her all I had in me to give: my heart, my soul, my love, my secrets, my loyalty, and my whip hand.
I took her quickly and unaware across the bottom of her ass. Livvie’s scream rent the air. James flinched at the sound, but Caleb’s blood sang. I am both men.
Livvie’s scream died just as suddenly as it had been born. Her lips were pressed together. Her hands were fisted above the leather straps holding her in place. A red stripe decorated her hindquarters.
“Tell me how you feel,” I grated. I ran a hand along her quivering backside. I could already feel the welt.
“I…”Livvie croaked. “I don’t know.”
“Do you want me to continue?” I already knew the answer. I wanted her to know it too.
“Yes, Caleb.” There was confidence in her voice.
“Anything for you, Pet.” I did show mercy. I caressed her behind with my hand until I felt her muscles relax into my touch. “Let’s start with more familiar ground.” I raised my hand and slammed it forward. I hit one cheek first and then the other in rapid succession. I wanted her nice and warm before I used the crop again.
If Livvie could have moved, she’d have been up on her toes. I’d spanked her harder and not encountered quite so much movement, but it was my belief that restraints often invited slaves to thrash to their hearts’ content. I had to remind myself Livvie had only ever played at the part of slave. She was mine of her own free will.
I stayed my hand from continuing to spank Livvie, but I did not keep it idle. Within seconds, my heated fingers wormed their way beneath the scrap of satin only just concealing her pussy. Her hips pushed back to meet me before she had a thought in her head. I liked that.
“Is that better, Pet? Did you like the spanking?”
She rocked her hips as much as she was able and tried to seat my fingers inside her.
“Yes, Caleb. Please, don’t stop.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it.” I pushed two fingers inside as far as they would go. I worked them back and forth quickly, delivering both jolts of pleasure and surprise. My dick jerked as Livvie’s unabashed and lascivious yelp met my ears. I watched her hips move back and forth as she found her own pleasure. My sadistic appetite was slowly fed as, little by little, I withdrew my fingers and Livvie’s hips gave chase to catch them. Back, back, back, she canted her hips as much as she was able. I hadn’t given her much slack. She wouldn’t have liked it if I had.
“More, Caleb. Please?” she whined. She treated me to the sight of her wiggling her bottom.
I spanked her once.
“Don’t try to entice me. I’m not near finished with you. You wanted a whipping and I’m determined to give you one.”
There was a sulky whimper preceding her murmured, “Yes, Caleb.” She huffed and rearranged herself in her restraints.
“Always with the saucy mouth, Kitten. Whether you’re using it to spout invective comments or simply petulant sounds, you’re always pushing me toward this—toward punishing you. I always wondered—before—if you craved me like this. Did you?” I lifted the crop and let it land on her ass again. Livvie lurched in her bonds, her lips pressed tightly together so that not even her surprise could break free.
“Answer me, Kitten.” I whipped her again and once more for good measure.
“No! No, Caleb.” There was the slightest stirring of real fear in her voice.
“No? Why now? What’s changed?” I whipped her again, mindful to keep the kiss of the crop across her flanks.
“I don’t know,” she cried. Her body was tight as a drawn bow. She was fighting me and I didn’t know why. I thought perhaps she was only fighting herself.
“Do you remember the first time I whipped you?” I asked. I knew for certain she did. This entire scenario had been constructed based upon that particular memory. The least I could do was assist her in cataloging it properly.
“Yes, Caleb,” she said more quickly.
“I remember too. It all could have gone differently.” I reached around to the front of her body and cupped one of her breasts. I rolled her nipple between my fingers as I spoke. “I would have shown you mercy, of a sort. I knew you were scared. You’d been shocked to learn I was your abductor and not the hero you’d imagined.” I tugged on her nipple. It was a hard little stone between my fingers. “You wouldn’t let me be kind. I would have fed you while you rested your head in my lap. I would have given you as many answers as I could to ease your plight. You could have gone to bed without the marks from my belt. But you fought me. You couldn’t win, and you still fought me.”
“I hated you!” she said. The words caught in her throat. She shut her eyes and tears raced down her cheeks. “I didn’t want your fucking mercy.” The words were difficult to hear, but I knew them to be true and I deserved them.
I leaned forward and collected a salty tear from her cheek.
“Don’t be sad, Kitten. You were right to hate me.”
“I don’t hate you anymore, Caleb. Please believe me. I don’t hate you.” More tears spilled down her cheek.
I stroked her hair. I kissed her salty cheek.
“I know, Pet. We’ve come a long way from there. Yet, here we are. You’re still asking me to punish you. Why?” I struck her several times. With each loud slap her resolve crumbled a little more. I pushed her. I pushed myself. I wanted her to understand there had only ever been one reason to return to this.
Livvie was sobbing.
“I… I like it.”
“Yes,” I said. I placed my hand between her legs and stroked her wet folds. “You do. So why are you still fighting me?”
“I don’t mean to!” Her chest shook with the force of her crying.
“I think you do. I think you believe I want you to—but I don’t, Kitten. You don’t have to provoke me. You’re no longer my captive.” I touched her clit. My fingertip glided easily through her slick folds. I whipped her across her other thigh with the crop.
Livvie screamed but settled quickly.
“I’m sorry, Caleb. Please forgive me.”
Begging… I’m always a sucker for the begging when it suits my own desires.
“You’re forgiven. Don’t do it again.”
She took several deep breaths.
“Yes, Caleb.” She moaned loudly when I bit her shoulder. “God! The things you do to me…” Her breath shuddered from her chest. “No one else makes me feel this way. You hurt me so much—before. But you always made it better. You’re the only one who makes it better. I don’t want it to stop.”
“Better than whom, Pet?” I dropped the crop and palmed her ass as I continued making circles on her clit. Livvie had found a taste for pain, but I knew the best way to get her to talk was to bring her as close to the edge of orgasm as possible.
“Everyone,” she whispered. Her eyes were closed, but I could see the tears still leaking from her eyes. Her hips were moving again, finding a rhythm to match my touches. “You take care of me. No one’s taken care of me like you.”
A weight pressed on my chest.
“I’d take care of you without this.”
“I want this. I didn’t want it before. You didn’t care about me. I was a thing to you. I know that’s not true anymore. I trust you, Caleb. I trust you to see me like this. I trust you to take care of me.” Livvie’s thighs began to shake.
“No, Pet. You’re not allowed to come yet.”
“Please, Caleb,” she whimpered.
I stifled a laugh.
“So manipulative.” I spanked her with my bare hand. Hard. It didn’t seem to affect her. She was on another plane.
“I learned from the best,” she said. I watched her smile and then attempt to hide it.
“Couldn’t make it five minutes, could you? And now I’m afraid I can’t let you come.”
“Caleb, no. Please! I’m sorry.” She opened her eyes when I pulled my hands away. Her expression was one of astonishment. I smiled.
“I warned you.”
“What are you going to do?” Her tone suggested she was frightened. Her eyes said otherwise. She’d asked me that same question dozens, perhaps hundreds, of times. I always had the same answer.
“Whatever I want.”
I’d been working on something rather special and I couldn’t wait to try it out. I’d never been much of a carpenter or inventor, per se, but idle hands and an agile mind had led me to explore more hobbies. I found that I liked working with my hands, and I especially liked when my new hobbies coincided with my favorite pastime.
Livvie was silent as I undid the straps on her ankles. She was always most quiet when she was nervous. She sagged in my arms, limp as a wet noodle once I unstrapped her wrists.
“Caleb?” she whispered.
I hoisted her over my shoulder and slapped her ass.
“No questions, Pet. You’ll like it. I promise. Or at the very least, I will.”
I grabbed a pillow from the sofa before I walked the few steps necessary to reach my constructed apparatus. It hadn’t taken much to put together. The downstairs was mostly unfinished and it was easy to find the choice support beams.
I tossed the pillow on the floor and set Livvie down on it. I heard her wince as her heated backside made contact, but I also knew she’d be just fine.
She appeared beautifully at odds with the unfinished basement, a diamond in the rubble.
“Lean back on your hands and put your legs out in front of you.”
She stared at me for a moment as if she were unsure about whether or not to bait me with more of her insolent backtalk. Then, seeming to come to her senses, she did as I asked.
“Yes, Caleb,” she added.
“Very good, Kitten. I’m proud of you.” I winked at her and smiled. We were supposed to be having fun. I didn’t want either of us to forget that fact.
“Thank you, Caleb.” She managed a smile for me.
She was very curious about my every move as I gathered up the harness I needed, along with a spreader bar and some nylon rope. The hardware store was a very convenient place to shop for sex toys.
It took a few minutes, but I finally had what I wanted. Straps placed at Livvie’s waist, thighs, and ankles would help lessen the amount of gravitational strain. The spreader bar would keep her ankles apart, evenly distribute her weight, and give her some semblance of balance. Finally, the nylon rope—anchored to the spreader bar and pulled through a series of load-bearing pulleys secured in the ceiling— would make it easy to lift her slowly off the ground.
“How do you feel?” I asked. Livvie lay on her back with her knees bent. She was pulling on her lip with her fingers.
“Nervous. Are you sure this is safe?”
“Do you trust me to keep you safe?” I palmed one of her breasts and traced her satin-clad nipple with my thumb. She sighed.
“Always.”
“Then stop asking silly questions.” I leaned down and kissed her. I was beyond aroused. I felt like a starving man sitting down to a feast. I wanted to touch every part of Livvie all at once. I also knew the wait would make the reward all the sweeter.
I let myself kiss her slowly. I let the tip of my tongue coax her lips open. I scraped it along the edge of her upper teeth before I felt the first slow slide of her tongue meeting mine.
Livvie’s hand cupped the back of my head and pulled me closer. She was just as eager, but less inclined to savor than I was. Our teeth clicked against one another as she attempted to let the kiss consume us.
I pinched her nipple between my forefinger and thumb. I was treated to a keening whimper, a blatant request for more. I tugged Livvie’s nipple, delivering sensation and rewarding myself with more of her whimpers.
“You really won’t let me come?” she asked between kisses. One of her hands reached between my legs. She caressed my balls through my pants. Her fingernails dragged behind them. I shook.
“No.”
“Please, Caleb.” Her hand moved from my balls to my cock. She squeezed. “You’re so hard. I know you want to fuck me.”
A groan escaped me. I pulled away from her before she could convince me to let her have her way yet again.
“I do want to fuck you, Pet. I said you weren’t allowed to come yet. I didn’t say anything about not fucking you.”
She frowned but kept from making further protests or demands. For Livvie, I supposed that qualified as being obedient.
Slowly, I pulled on the rope and hoisted Livvie into the air by her ankles. She gasped loudly and let out a yelp or two, but otherwise she’d come through it very well.
“Comfortable?” I asked. Anticipation burned hotly in my chest. I paid particular attention to the damp spot on Livvie’s panties. I licked my lips.
“Um… I guess so.” Her fingertips scrambled for purchase on the ground but couldn’t quite reach.
“Relax your body and just hang there. The more you tense up, the more you’ll move about.” I secured the rope and grabbed a few items before I made my way to Livvie.
I ran my hands from her ankles down to her inner thighs. I stroked the little damp spot between Livvie’s legs.
“Oh!” Livvie exclaimed. Her arms wrapped around my waist and she pulled me close. Her head was pressed against the front of my pants.
“My, but you are wet, Kitten. Did your whipping turn you on?”
“Yes, Caleb.” She rubbed her face against my erection.
“I’m glad,” I said. My voice was as hoarse as hers. I hooked my thumbs on either side of her panties and pulled them upward. They gave only as far as a few centimeters past the bottom of her ass. Her legs were spread too wide for much more. It was enough to suit my purpose.
“I’ve told you before, Kitten, but I’ll say it again: You are beautiful here.” I kissed her mound and Livvie’s hips made a tiny thrust. “Should I lick your pussy?”
“Oh, god! Yes. Please.” She began kissing my erection.
I palmed her ass in both hands and brought her to my mouth. I licked her from clit to delicious hole and darted my tongue inside to collect the wetness she’d so generously created for me. Livvie’s entire body was shaking. Her hands gripped my ass and pulled me close.
“Mmm, I love the taste of your pussy. You should try it.” I slowly backed away, ignoring whimpered protests. Placing one hand behind her neck and an arm behind her shoulders, I pulled Livvie upward and let her taste her pussy from my mouth.
She moaned and sucked on my tongue. Her hands held my head in place as she navigated her way through our upside down mashing of mouths.
“It’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yes, Caleb,” she said through panting breaths.
Gingerly, I lowered her until our previous posture was achieved. I couldn’t wait anymore. I wanted her mouth on me. I undid my slacks and pulled out my dick. Pre-come wept from the tip and I smeared it along Livvie’s cheek.
Livvie turned her head and latched on to my cock like a vixen possessed. She suckled.
“Fuck!” I exclaimed. I couldn’t stop myself from thrusting into her ravenous mouth. I reached for the back of her head and gathered up her hair from the floor. I held it in my fist as I let the first volleys of my lust clear. I had no intention of coming so soon. I pulled my cock out of her mouth with a wet pop.
“Easy, Pet. Let me set the pace. Open up.” I wasn’t at all surprised by her immediate obedience. With one hand holding her hair, I used my free hand to take hold of my cock. I couldn’t resist tracing her wet, red lips with the tip of my cock. I sighed as I watched her kitten tongue dart out to lick it. Finally, I slipped back into the warm, suctioning sanctuary of her mouth.
I let go of Livvie’s hair and stood. I desperately wanted more of her pussy in my mouth. I palmed her ass and pulled her toward me. My lips mouthed her clit while my tongue licked at her tiny bud. I felt every shudder, every moan, and every whimper against my cock. I made shallow thrusts interspersed with deep ones that drove past the scrape of Livvie’s teeth into her throat.
I pulled my hips back every so often to allow Livvie to breathe. Drool coated her cheeks and puddled on the floor, but she’d never looked sexier to me.
“Tell me how you feel,” I said.
She cleared her throat and swallowed.
“I want to come,” she pleaded.
“No,” I said. I urged her mouth back onto my cock. As she continued sucking, I bathed her pussy with my tongue until her thighs began to tremble. I pulled away. “No, Kitten.” I ran my finger through her wetness and circled the tight pucker of her ass.
Her mouth pulled off my cock.
“I’ll be good. I won’t come. I won’t come.” She tried to wriggle away from my finger.
“Let me in. Now.”
“Please, Caleb.”
“I’ll let you come.” I pressed my lips to her clit and kissed her.
There was a moment of hesitation, and then I felt her muscles relax. I slipped the tip of my finger inside her ass and wiggled it back and forth.
“Oh, god! Caleb. Please! I’m going to die.”
I laughed.
“You’re not going to die, Pet. You’re going to come. Hard.”
“I want to.” Her hips moved back and forth. “I’m so close. Please lick my pussy. I want to come. Please let me come.”
“Put me back in your mouth.”
The moment I felt her sucking, I put my mouth on her. I knew she couldn’t take much more. I couldn’t take much more, and I wasn’t the one hanging upside down.
Livvie’s hips thrust back and forth as she tried to work my tongue on her pussy. In the meantime, she was also fucking herself in the ass with my finger. A more glorious way to spend an evening has not been created.
I felt her muscles tightening. Even her mouth got tighter around my flesh.
“Go ahead and come for me, Pet.” I cupped the back of her head and kept myself in her mouth as she came in mine. I felt her orgasm on my tongue, around my finger, and her cries of ecstasy vibrated along my cock. It felt as though she could come for days, and as I continued to fuck her mouth slowly my crisis found me and I spilled my seed inside.
Afterward, I lowered her to the ground and held her for a long time.
“Tell me again, Kitten.” I kissed her forehead.
“I’m yours, Caleb. Always.”
“And I’m yours. Happy anniversary, love.”
“It was perfect,” she whispered and nestled deeper into my arms.
I didn’t have the energy to do much more than move us to the sofa. We slept for an hour or two before we could drag ourselves into the shower and then to bed where we made love again, soft and slow.
