I swallow the damn rage I’d felt mere hours before.
Kai leans in sideways to whisper, “You wanted to know why he needed the money. Now you know.”
No wonder Nathan said it was a matter of life and death.
That trade wasn’t just to pay off the debt his mom and dad owed. It was to save her. That tiny little girl hankering for his hugs, looking up to her big brother like he’s her entire world.
Everything she has left after the world has crumbled around her.
Rory looks around with awestruck eyes. “Is this your home?”
A proud smile forms on Nathan’s face. “Yup.”
“Can I live here too?”
“Oh my God, she’s so cute.” Milo bursts out into aahs and oohs and the sound almost makes me burst out into laughter too.
“No can do, Ro, sorry. You can stay for a couple of days, but nothing more,” Nathan says. “This society is for grown boys only.”
“Aw …” She pouts. “But I like Milo.”
She turns her head to look at him, and he winks at her.
“Do you now?” Nathan muses. “Well, you’re not the only one.”
“He gave me this lollipop,” she says, showing Nathan a bright red one.
“Milo keeps those stashed away in the kitchen for when he’s got one of his midnight cravings again,” Kai whispers into my ear.
And I have to say, I’m not even mad I’m being fed all these details I never knew I needed.
Everything’s suddenly starting to make sense.
“I love strawberry. It’s my favorite!” Rory excitedly waves it around.
“When all of this is over and you’re done living with Auntie, I’ll take you to an ice cream shop and you can have as many strawberry scoops as you like. Okay?”
Her face lights up like fireworks. The kind that brings joy to even the most fucked-up souls. “Really?”
Her smile is contagious as Nathan begins to grin. “Pinky promise.” He hooks his pinky around hers again. “Swear on my life.”
“Yay!”
When he puts her down, he momentarily glances at me, and for a moment, all the pain and darkness in his eyes are back.
As though he means to tell me everything there is to know about him with just one single look.
A guy dead set on protecting the only family he has left.
And it breaks all the resolve and hatred I have burning within me.
Rory grabs his hand and drags him with her. “C’mon! I’ve gotta show you the unicorn in Milo’s room!”
“Unicorn?” Nathan narrows his eyes at Milo.
He simply shrugs with a big old smile as we head toward his room upstairs. Sure enough, there’s a human-sized stuffed unicorn right in the middle of his room. “Bought it on the way to her place. I figured she might want a friend while she waited here for you.”
“You’re nuts,” Nathan jests, shaking his head at Milo.
We all gaze in wonder at a little girl having the time of her life on an imaginary rainbow ride.
Nathan finally approaches us and looks at Kai first. “Thank you for helping out.”
“It was nothing,” Kai says.
“Eh, we just stole some shit and sold it for cash, big deal,” Milo says.
“I mean it,” he adds.
Kai plants a hand on his shoulder. “We’ve got you.”
“Right now, you’re the only family I’ve got left,” Nathan says, sighing. “Let’s just hope they don’t come after the rest of my family too.”
“Won’t let that happen,” Kai says, watching Rory jump off the unicorn’s head, only to jump right back onto its back.
“We’ll be there to cover you both,” Milo says.
They embrace in a sort of bro-hug. “Phantoms stay Phantoms. Even into death.”
Suddenly, my stomach roars, and it’s the worst timing ever.
Because all three of them are now looking at me like I interrupted their private time together.
Milo smiles and lifts his head. “Hungry?”
I feel gawked at. “Well, I … haven’t eaten in a while.”
Milo breaks out of their bro-hug, grabs my hand, and drags me along. “My time to shine.”
He pulls me all the way to the lavish kitchen and sets me down on a stool in front of a bar, then goes to the fridge and pulls out all sorts of food. Cucumbers cut into strips, cooked chicken, avocado, and a whole bucket full of rice.
“You like sushi?” he asks, laying it all out on the counter as he grabs a piece of nori.
“Um, sure?” I mutter, still a bit overwhelmed.
Within seconds, he’s got the nori layered with rice, then drops on some cucumber and avocado, and slices through the chicken like a seasoned chef. I’ve never seen someone assemble a sushi roll that swiftly. Then he slices them into small pieces and throws the mayo around like he’s putting on a show before dabbling them all with the sauce and a little bit of spice.
“There you go,” he says, sliding the plate my way. “Fresh, handmade perfection.” He kisses his own lips with his fingers. “For my hungry lady.”
“Wow …” I mutter, impressed. “Thank you.”
He winks, and for the first time since I met him, I’m actually blushing. “Enjoy.”
It’s been a long time since someone personally cooked for me. Jason would never. The last time I tried his homemade sloppy joe, I almost threw up.
But this … this sushi looks magnificent, and the moment I take a bite, I can’t help the moan that slips from my mouth.
“Well, I’m glad you like it,” Milo says.
And I swiftly plop another one into my mouth to stop the embarrassing blush from spreading. “Why are you doing this for me?”
“Why not?” He frowns, looking at me like I’m crazy. “You didn’t think I’d let you go hungry, right?”
“But we’re—”
“Enemies?” Milo leans across the counter. “I told you … I am yours. I always was. From the moment I laid eyes on you, I knew nothing would please me more than to give myself to you.”
Okay, now I can’t stop the blush from spilling over my face and chest.
“And if my queen is hungry …” He grabs my hand and presses a gentle, chivalrous kiss on top. “Then I will satisfy her stomach as thoroughly as I satisfy her pussy.”
I swallow down the piece of sushi, but it’s hard, so incredibly hard, when someone like him is staring at me like I am a fucking goddess to him just by being in his presence and eating his food.
And something about that feels … humbling.
No one has ever gotten down on their knees for me. Nor have they worshipped me like this.
He leans in to grab a piece of sushi and tips down my chin to put it on my tongue himself, and he watches each bite I take like I’m taking a bite out of him.
And I don’t understand why. All I’ve done is try to kill these boys.
I’ve hit him, kicked him, fought with him every step of the way, and here he is, feeding me like he’s grateful for it.
“Aren’t you mad at me?” I ask after a while.
He runs his fingers through his red hair. “No, why would I be?”
“I hurt you,” I say. “And I got you into trouble with Nathan.”
He laughs. “Oh yeah, I still owe him a whipping.”
My eyes widen, and I grip his wrist. “Whipping? Nathan whips you?”
He pauses his feeding me. “I don’t mind.”
“So that was you in that chamber,” I mutter.
“You …” His eyes narrow. “You were the one watching us during that party?”
The grin on my face speaks for me.
Milo tilts his head. “Did you enjoy it?”
I release his wrist. “I don’t understand. I thought you’d be upset.”
“Over someone seeing us? No. I know who I am and what I like. And I more than happily take whatever anger Nathan has to give me.” He leans in to caress my face ever so gently, and wherever his fingers touch, my skin comes alive. “Just as I’ll take whatever rage you want to release on me.”
“I don’t have rage,” I retort.
A filthy smirk spreads on his lips. “Who are you lying to? Because I don’t believe one word.”
“I … I …”
“You think your rage is something to be hidden,” he says, his fingers lingering near my lips, and every fiber of my being fights the urge to lean in to kiss this man who’s seen every inch of my fucked-up soul and still wants nothing more than to love it. “But all I see is perfection.”
But he is part of their group, part of the three evil boys who have done nothing but use me, and I pull away to stop myself. “I’m just saying, it’s wrong.”
His brows twitch. “It’s not. Who told you that?”
“I don’t know.” I shift in my seat. “I just …”
“You don’t want your family to know about your secrets,” he murmurs. “You enjoy the violence you dish out.”
I chomp on another piece of sushi, but it doesn’t taste so divine anymore when I’m being interrogated.
“I do what I have to,” I reply.
“Just like Nathan does what he has to,” he says.
“I don’t kill anyone for sport or money.”
He cuts through a new sushi roll, the stare he throws me from behind the strands of red hair making it hard to look away. “Then what do you kill for?”
I swallow, but a piece of sushi catches in my throat, and I cough. “Nothing…”
He plants the knife into the board. “No one kills without reason. You can tell me.”
“And have you hold it over my head?” I muse. “Add another way to extort me? I’m not stupid.”
“Hey, that wasn’t my idea,” he says, arranging more rice on a nori sheet. “I just do what I’m told.”
“You always listen to Nathan, so when he tells you to hurt me, you will.”
He glances at me and then plucks the knife from the board again to chop some salmon. “I will never, ever hurt you,” he says. “Unless you want me to, of course.”
“Then what was all that fucking around you guys did with me? In the alley, and in the Shack, and right here in this house?”
He layers the salmon on top and places them neatly on a plate before presenting it to me. “That was pleasure. And I know you felt it too.”
The way he looks at me makes it impossible to look away.
“Now eat. I won’t have you starving in this house. Not while I can help it.”
I frown and pick up some of the sushi. It practically melts on my tongue, so delicious.
“First you fuck with me, then you feed me. You can’t expect me not to find this all a bit confusing.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” he says. “We can just enjoy each other’s company, and after, you can cut me with your knife if you want.” He whips around his knife as a devilish smile appears on his face. “Or mine. Your choice.”
The salmon slips down my throat. “You’re really weird, you know that?”
“I don’t deny that,” he says, and he plucks one off the board to eat. “I just don’t hide it.”
Why does that feel like a dig toward me?
“Anyway, please don’t be mad at Nathan,” he says, catching me off guard. “He only did those things because he needs to protect Rory.”
“From what?” I ask.
He looks at the door before returning his attention to me. “His parents are real gamblers. They were rich, but they also couldn’t stop spending, and they got involved with the wrong crowd. Kept borrowing money from the wrong people. And when the police caught on to their money laundering schemes, they went down for the crime, leaving Nathan all by himself with his sister.”
Wow. No wonder he’d go that far to keep her out of harm’s way.
“I know he’s done some bad shit, but he did it for the right reasons.”
Suddenly, someone clears their throat, and we both stop eating. Nathan’s leaning with his arms folded against the doorway, his eyes practically shooting bullets at Milo.
And Milo immediately starts cleaning up the counter, putting all the food away with just as much swiftness as he pulled it out for me.
“What are you doing?” he asks.
“Feeding her,” he replies.
His brow lifts. “Why?”
Why does Nathan make it sound like he thinks Milo had ulterior motives?
He frowns. “She was hungry. Why else?”
He rolls his eyes and sighs out loud.
“Shouldn’t you be with Rory?” Milo asks.
“She’s asleep,” he retorts. “In your bed.”
“Oh …” Milo responds, but then a wicked smile spreads on his face. “Oh, that means I can sleep with you.”
“Not yet,” Nathan says and turns his attention toward me. “Come with me.”
I just stare at him.
Milo points at both of us. “Who? Me or her?”
“Lana.”
I almost want to flip him the bird again, but then I remember the smile on that little girl’s face and just how much their hug affected me.
Maybe I owe it to myself to listen to him.
I hop off the stool and follow Nathan, too curious to know what’s going on to leave now.
He walks me upstairs, hands casually in the pockets of his pants as he strolls to a room not far ahead in the hallway and opens the door for us. I peek over his shoulder at the beautiful blue-painted walls and portraits hanging from the wall, along with a cozy fireplace in the corner. In the middle is a large king-sized bed. But it’s the metal clasps on the wall to the right that draw my attention, along with all the whips, chains, and toys hanging from the hooks.
“What’s this?” I ask, stepping inside slowly.
He closes the door behind me. “My bedroom.”
I swallow and look around, but it’s hard to take everything in with him breathing down my neck. “Now you know why I did what I did.”
“To protect your sister.”
“Do you hate me?”
The question catches me off guard, and when I open my mouth, I don’t know what to say.
Do I hate him? Or do I just hate his attempt at wringing money from me solely to save his family? Could I even stay mad knowing the truth?
When I don’t answer, he circles me and stops in front of my face. “You can tell me the truth. I know you do.”
“You had no right,” I say, shaking my head.
“You would’ve done the same for your family.”
I swallow. I could lie and deny that, but we both know he’s right.
“Why did you bring me here?” I ask.
He sighs out loud and sits down on the bed behind him, hands splayed behind him.
“I just … wanted to talk with you.”
I fold my arms. “Okay then, talk.”
He looks at me, and the pain in his eyes almost makes me waver. But I have to remember he will always be a Phantom first. An evil boy dead set on making my life miserable just because he knows about my vigilante side job.
He pats the bed. “Come. Sit with me.”
After a while, I cave. And I don’t know whether it’s because I feel forced due to the nature of our arrangement, or because of the way he asks.
“Milo told you about my family,” he says. “Didn’t he?”
I nod. “They’re in jail because of fraud. Something to do with a bad gamble with dangerous people.”
He lowers his head between his shoulders. “My parents only cared about making more and more money, no matter what it cost them.” He looks around at all the expensive furniture and the paintings on the wall. “But all the money in the world couldn’t buy us the safety we need now.”
“They’re still after you?” I ask.
He shrugs. “I don’t know. After my parents were ratted out to the cops, the collectors came for their remaining debts, but they left me with nothing. We scrambled together every bill by stealing …”
“And killing the people so they wouldn’t talk,” I fill in.
He nods.
“And I got in your way.”
His silence speaks volumes. “I did what I had to.” He looks at me, the pain in his eyes so sincere it moves me. “For her.”
“You should’ve asked me,” I say.
“And say what? Please give me money, but I can’t tell you why?” He scoffs. “You think you would’ve given it to me?”
“You didn’t even try.”
“I know your family,” he grits. “You don’t help; you destroy.”
I frown. “My family has nothing—”
“Your family has everything to do with this. Your brother and his gang of friends kept getting in our way,” he interjects. “And when I realized you were his sister, I took pleasure knowing we were about to ravage a Rivera.”
My jaw drops, and my hand rises to slap him, but he catches my wrist.
Suddenly, he pulls me down onto the bed, swiftly crawling on top of me in my surprise, and pins both my hands to the blanket.
His sparkling eyes are filled with anger and hurt.
But it’s not my fault, and I refuse to bear the burden.
“Why do you hate me so much?” I grit.
“Hate?” His full lips crack open, and he licks the bottom one. “No … this is obsession. I thought I only wanted to use you, get you to do my bidding so I could get the money I needed, but you … you beguile everyone who crosses your path.” He sucks in a breath through his teeth. “And that is what I hate.” He leans in, his breath lingering on my skin as he whispers, “I hate how much you make me want you to the point where I can’t stand to see you with the only boy who’s ever understood my needs.”
My eyes widen. Is he talking about Milo?
“You’re jealous?” I frown. “You can have him.”
“I already have him.” His hand slides down my arm toward my breast. “But I want you too. I want to hear your moans, your cries as you beg for mercy, as you pray to your goddamn forsaken family to save you from my hard cock.”
And suddenly, his lips slam down on mine, and I’m so lost and confused by the sudden affection and obsessive kiss that I let him. I actually let him kiss me.
Fuck, what is wrong with me?
I bite down. Hard.
He flinches and leans up, abs visibly protruding through his white shirt as droplets of blood roll down his cheek and stain his shirt. But he doesn’t seem to care the slightest bit.
So I hook my legs around his and flip him over, slamming him into the bed before grasping one of his wrists and pinning it above his head. But he doesn’t fight me or even flinch as I overpower him and take back control.
“My family has nothing to do with your sadistic needs. And I did nothing to deserve your wrath.”
He swallows, biting his lip right where the blood seeps out, his eyes ogling my chest almost as if he’s enjoying this more than he thought he would.
But instead of pushing me off him, he merely lifts his hand, the one with the missing finger, and says, “You want to know why I get off on hurting you? Because it was your brother who did this to me.”
