“So,” Felix mutters.
“So,” I retort, awkwardly biting my cheek.
“You’re covered in blood,” he says.
“You noticed, huh?” I laugh.
“Hard to miss.”
The light above our heads flickers, casting an eerie glow.
He leans in to touch the bandage around my arm. “Does it hurt?”
“Not that badly,” I reply.
“Alistair told me you got drugged,” he says.
I nod, tucking my hair behind my ear. “They tried to subdue me. To make it easier for them to sell me.” I tap my feet around, uncomfortable that I have to talk about this with my brother. “And Crystal.”
“I’m sorry about that. I’ll get my guys to scour the area around the compound in search for clues to her whereabouts. She’s our friend too, so I’m not gonna let them get away with this.”
“Thank you,” I reply. “I appreciate that.”
He shakes his head. “I know it’s not enough. If I’d known—”
“It’s not your fault.” I interrupt. “She would’ve never been taken in the first place if I hadn’t …” I gulp away the fear. “If I’d just told everyone I love the truth.”
“That picture?” he asks, his jaw tensing.
A blush creeps onto my cheeks.
His fist balls. “Did those fuckers force you to do it?”
I shake my head. “We had a deal. I’d give myself to them in exchange for them to keep quiet about my … other cravings.”
“A deal …” He squints. “What other cravings?”
“That body you saw in the photo wasn’t their kill,” I explain. “It was mine.”
He swallows, visibly worried, and it makes me avert my eyes.
“I… kill people.”
“Like what, daily?”
I don’t like the judgment, but he’s already seen me holding someone’s head in my hands. What point is it to lie?
“No. Just when I feel like I need to.”
His eyes twitch. “Random people.”
“No, mostly predators I find online,” I reply.
He frowns. “How long has this been going on?”
“Years.”
God, it feels like I’m opening a very old wound.
“Why?”
I draw in a breath, unable to look him in the eyes. “Because … it hurt to watch you suffer. To see Mother in your bed.”
His whole body tightens when I mention her, and it unravels my heart.
“I keep seeing it over and over while I sleep, every nightmare waking me up to the point where I just want to kill people who try to do the same to others.”
He just stares at me for a good few seconds, the look on his face anything but pleased.
I may have said too much.
But my God, the burden on my shoulders finally feels a little less heavy.
“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “I’m sorry I can’t be the sister you think I am. I’m not perfect. I date the wrong people. I’m a murderous girl. I—”
Suddenly, he wraps his arms around me and pulls me in for a hug so tight I can’t even breathe.
“Don’t ever apologize,” he says, shaking me to my core.
“What? But I’m a—”
“Killer?” He snorts. “Yeah, it runs in the family.”
“But—”
“No. I am not ashamed of you.” He pulls away and grabs my shoulders. “Do you hear me? You’re my little sister, and I love you. That’s the last time you’ll ever hear me say those words, so remember them.”
I smile and wrap my arms right back around his body. “Thank you. And thank you for coming to save me.”
His hand caresses my back, and it’s the first time in ages that I don’t feel like I want to push him away.
“You’re the reason I’m here today,” he says, his voice soft, unlike his usual self. “If you hadn’t screamed when you saw our mother …” His voice is hampered by his emotions. “I wouldn’t be alive without you.” I shudder against him, and he takes in a big breath. “I’m the only one who should be saying thank you.”
Our hug is so deep and warm it feels like both of us are pouring out all our feelings into each other.
“I was so goddamn worried about you,” he grumbles. “When those fuckers told me you’d been taken by that Bones Brotherhood, I nearly snapped their necks.”
“It’s not their fault,” I say.
“They should’ve kept you safe,” he growls. “I will never allow them to get—”
I push myself away from him. “Don’t. Don’t finish that sentence. Please.”
The muscles in his jaw tense up. “Those bastards took that photo of you.”
“And I let them,” I reply. “Don’t blame them for my own struggles, please. They didn’t share it.”
“Who did?” he grits.
“It was an accident. That’s it.” I shrug, and I grab his hand. “You have to stop fighting them.”
“But they—”
“They love me,” I say.
His eyes burst open and his lips part, but no words spill out.
I’ve never seen him this speechless.
“And you believe them?” he asks.
I nod.
“You’re not being forced to say this?”
I shake my head, smiling.
He rubs his lips together and points at the door. “Those fuckers hurt you.”
“Like you hurt Penelope?”
His lips slam together, and he grinds his teeth, looking irritated as hell that I’d point this out to him.
“But you love her too,” I say, trying to find his eyes while all he’s trying to do is avert his from mine. “Admit it.”
“Yes.”
“Someone called my name?” Penelope comes walking out of the waiting room.
“No,” Felix says. While I say, “Yes.”
“What’s up?”
“Nothing,” Felix swiftly replies.
“I’m just trying to determine if he sees his own hypocrisy.”
Penelope smiles and crosses her arms. “Oh, this should be interesting.”
“You’re dating three guys, right?” I ask her.
“What about it?”
Felix rubs his forehead. “Fuck me.”
“Answer me, please.”
“Fine. Yes, she is.”
“Then you know what it feels like,” I say.
His brow twitches. “But all three of them?”
“Oh … so it’s about those boys,” Penelope muses. “I figured as much.”
I grab Felix’s other hand too. “If you love me as much as you say you do … you’ll let me decide.”
His jaw tenses again, but he doesn’t move away.
After a while, he nods. “All right. I trust you.”
I smile and hug him again, his arms slowly wrapping around my body to return the warmth.
He sighs out loud. “But don’t ever forget you’re a Rivera first.”
“I won’t,” I reply, leaning back. “Oops. I smeared blood all over your shirt.”
“Eh, I’ve had worse,” he retorts, shrugging.
“How’s it going out here?”
I turn my head to see Milo’s happy face peeking out the door, his upside-down cross dangling from his ear.
“We’re finished,” I reply.
“Nosy bastard,” Felix growls.
So I step on his foot like any good sister would.
“Ow, fuck!” he grits.
Milo snorts. “I see he’s as nice as ever.”
“Oh, fuck off,” Felix growls back, so I slap him on the chest.
“Felix will be nice to you from now on. Won’t you, Felix?”
“Sure,” he replies stoically. “As long as you don’t try to take any other lewd pictures of my sister.”
Milo laughs awkwardly and rubs the back of his head. “Yeah, about that …”
Felix’s eyebrow twitches. “Don’t tell me …”
“We have like a ton.” Milo puts his fingers together. “But we won’t share them with anyone, promise.”
I blush. “Oh boy.”
“TMI,” Felix grits.
“Did either of you hear anything from other students yet?” I ask.
“Well, from what I’ve noticed, they all seem to think you got used and that it wasn’t your choice,” Milo mutters.
“Okay …” I breathe out a sigh. “Could be worse.”
“At least no one thinks you murdered the other dude in the picture,” he muses.
“Do you think my dad saw the picture?” I ask.
Felix closes his eyes and rubs his forehead. “Maybe.”
“Fuck. That’s gonna be embarrassing,” Milo mutters.
“You should talk to him,” Felix says.
“And tell him what?”
“We can explain it was an accident.” Milo shrugs.
“What about the body?” I retort, folding my arms.
“Tell him the truth,” Felix says.
“Are you kidding? Really?” I say.
“Why not?” Milo asks. “He sounds like a nice guy.”
“He killed our mother,” Felix growls.
Milo’s face turns white.
I cringe. “Bringing this kind of news to my dad isn’t gonna be easy.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Felix says, placing a hand on my shoulder. “I’ve got your back.”
I place my hand over his. “Thank you.”
Kai’s face appears behind Milo too now, and I struggle to hide my smile.
Even though I was so convinced I hated these boys for what they did …
None of it seems to matter anymore.
My heart’s already made its choice.
“Nathan is up. We’re bringing him home,” he says, winking.
Then he turns around and drags Milo with him.
I’m almost tempted to go with them, but Felix’s hand on my shoulder keeps me from moving.
“Have you decided yet?” Felix asks.
A pause follows.
“I won’t stop you. But I’m just one call away if you ever need me.”
I swallow away the last bit of restraint I still had left.
Felix leans over and whispers into my ear, “Go on then. Follow your fucked-up heart.”
And he pushes me away from his strong grip and toward the door that signifies my demise. But oh, the fall into oblivion has been so fucking sweet.
And as a fucked-up masochist, I don’t think I’d have it any other way.
I look back one more time just to grin, and Felix grins right back at me in that signature Rivera way.
“Don’t let them treat you badly, or I’ll kill them,” he says.
“They won’t,” I retort.
“How do you know for sure?”
“Haven’t you heard?” I wink. “I’m their motherfucking queen.”
