After having to snuggle up next to Wren at the Drive-in and our kiss, I’m praying that in some way, this hockey game will give me more reasons to touch her in public. I know it’s pathetic but touching her is like a drug. Once I’ve had one hit, I just want more. And more. And more. Until I can’t anymore.
I’m putting on my jacket, ready to leave when my phone lights up with a text. It’s Wren.
Wren: What do I wear?
I roll my eyes with a laugh and shoot back a message.
Me: Literally anything.
Me: I’m coming to get u in five mins.
She’s been freaking out over this for the last week, obsessing over an outfit. Hockey games at NU are the highlight of the week. We always get a full house even when the games are just friendly. Everyone loves the atmosphere, the rush and the energy that radiates off the players. I can’t wait to get myself back out there. As Coach doesn’t forget to remind us ‘It’s what you do before the season starts that makes a champion.’
Coach has been checking in to see how I’m doing, and he told me that he’ll let me know as soon as he thinks I’m ready to play again. Wren has been easing me into getting back on the ice in my full gear but it’s a lot harder than I thought. Each time I step out there and I see the nets, I freeze up. I’m going to have to get there eventually. I’m going to need to put in Wren’s dad’s advice about playing when I finally get back onto the ice.
I need to.
For carter.
I drive the distance from my house to Wren’s apartment in a few minutes, trying not to miss the start of the game. I can only hope that if I drive, it can give us an excuse to go somewhere afterwards instead of driving straight home. I get to her door and knock twice before Kennedy opens it. A wide grin splits on her face and she lets me in.
“She’s through there,” she says pointing down the hallway. I look down the hall and then back to her. “When you hear frustrated groans, you’ll know which one it is.”
I wait for a second before following her directions. I don’t know why I’m so anxious to go to her room. I’ve spent a few nights here, as part of our contract to take late night photos but I’ve only ventured in the living room, the kitchen, and the bathroom. I usually come over late, after she’s finished practice and we hang out for a bit and take a few photos. I pull out the couch and I go to bed. It’s that easy. Most times, she’s gone to practice before I wake up. Sure enough, I hear frustrated grunts coming from one of the rooms and I knock on the door.
“Wren?” I ask wearily. “It’s me. Miles.”
“Yes, I know what your voice sounds like Milesy,” she sighs sarcastically. “Open the door.”
Entering her room is like looking straight into her brain. A chaotic, beautiful mess.
The white walls are covered in music posters, figure skating posters and pictures of her and her friends. A shelf is covered from top to bottom in trophies, medals, and certificates. I don’t know why I’m surprised because I knew she was good but fuck. There is almost not room for anything else on the shelves.
A dressing table in the corner holds a vinyl player and a stack of Taylor Swift records next to it. And best of all, Wren is sat in the middle of the floor, surrounded by thousands of clothes in a sports bra and leggings. She looks up at me and her face drops in exhaustion.
“You’re going to have to leave me here. I’m not going,” she groans melodramatically. I crouch down in front of her and tilt my head to the side.
“Yeah, you are. I got you a present,” I say cheerfully, holding out my cap and my NU Bear’s hockey number seven jersey. She looks at them and then at me.
“Do you know how tacky it is for me to wear your jersey?”
“Well, who else’s jersey would you wear? If you’re gonna wear a jersey it needs to have my name and number on it. I’m not let anyone else thinking you’re someone else’s,” I challenge. Okay, maybe I do have a jealous side. Her mouth tilts into a grin, probably considering teasing me on it but I speak before she can. “Plus, it makes you look like you care and that we’re in a committed relationship.”
She groans before grabbing my shirt out of my hand and standing up out of her heap. She pulls she shirt over her head and looks in her full-length mirror. Naturally, the jersey hangs loose on her and falls halfway down her thighs. I stand behind her and put my hands on her shoulders. Wren looks at herself in the mirror, slightly unimpressed.
I love that she has my name written on her back. Believe it or not, I have never given another girl my jersey. Emily was never bothered but with other people I’ve dated, they get so territorial about it but I don’t have to worry about it with her.
“See, you look fabulous,” I gush, smiling. She shakes her head and turns to me, my hands still on her shoulders.
“I look like I’m dating a hockey player,” she says before a horrified expression takes over her face. “Oh my God. I’m dating a hockey player.”
I laugh hard while her jaw hangs open. I put my cap on her head and tap it. Her nose scrunches as I put two fingers under her jaw and close her mouth. “Yep, but we’re going to be late.”
“Why are you so worried about being late? You’re not even playing.”
“I know but it’s not the worst thing to be on time,” I retort. “You’re the one who likes to take hours to get ready.”
She huffs and we walk out of her room. Before we get to the door, we’re stopped by Kennedy and Scarlett, both with their mouths on the floor. Kennedy — like always — is dressed in denim dungarees with embroidered flowers on it as if she’s a preschool teacher. Scarlett is in black jeans and a pink tank top, cautiously walking closer to Wren.
“Amelia Wren Hackerly. Respectfully – what the fuck is this?” Scarlett says dramatically, motioning to Wren’s outfit.
“I am speechless. Like, no words,” Kennedy exclaims.
“I know. Desperate times call for desperate measures,” Wren sulks, grabbing my hand, pulling us past them. “We better go before someone gets grumpy.”
*
We get to the stadium and as I expected, it’s completely packed. There’s a certain buzz that radiates from each wall as we make our way through the crowds of people. We walk up to our seats, people’s heads turning as they see I’m not down on the ice. It’s weird having this many people care about what we do.
Unlike Zaiver’s dad, my dad doesn’t fund the team in anyway so it’s not like anyone needs me on the team.
I keep my arm around her shoulder until we’re sitting comfortably in our seats with a perfect view.
I’ve just finished explaining to Wren how the game works for the third time when Sophia Aoki sits down on the seat below us. She does a double take when she sees Wren and me.
“Hi, Miles. Long-time no see,” she says, pushing her dark hair behind her shoulder, getting a better look at me. “I thought you’d be on the ice today.”
“Nah, not yet. I’m still working on my training,” I say with a shrug.
“Yeah, I get that,” she replies understandingly.
Sophia, Carter, and I became close in high school through Greyson who had grown up with her. She quickly became one of our favourite people when we found out how much effort she puts into her own studies but how she shows genuine interest in everyone else’s lives. She became a good balance for us when we were starting out here and she’s kept most of the team sane since high school and I’ll always be grateful for that. She turns to look at Wren.
“You’re Wren, right? I don’t think we’ve met.”
“Hi,” Wren replies smiling, snuggling further into me. “It’s nice to meet you.”
“You too,” Sophia grins before turning to me. “I thought you two were coming to my party, but I didn’t see you there.”
I feel Wren stiffen beneath me as she looks up at me and then flashes a shy smile. I run my hand down her arm quickly before resting it back on her shoulder.
“Yeah, we went for a little while, but we didn’t stay for long. Sorry we didn’t get to say ‘Hi’ then,” I explain.
“No, it’s cool. Can I say that you guys are so cute together!” she exclaims. Wren’s face turns red with heat when I slip my hand down to her waist, squeezing gently. “And Wren, you’re a figure skater, right?”
“Yeah, I am,” Wren replies. Sophia’s face lights up, quite literally. Her smile always reaches her eyes as lined dimples form on her cheekbones in a childlike way.
“That’s so cool! I always wished I could skate but I’m soooo clumsy So I like to live vicariously through them by watching the team play,” she laughs. Which is very true. She fell into a Koi pond outside the venue of our High School prom and whenever I see her around, she walks like she has two left feet. “I’d love to see you skate sometime. Do you have any competitions coming up?”
“Yeah, actually. We’re doing a winter showcase in December. I’d love to see you there,” Wren says, and I can’t help but smile. That’s my girl. As introverted as she seems, seeing her interact with other people makes my chest swell. She gets herself worked up about it but when she realises that my friends are not out to get her, she relaxes a little and lets herself enjoy talking to people that aren’t Kennedy and Scarlett.
“Great. I’ll be there. I’ll ask some of my friends to come and I’ll bring Brie.” Her smile widens at the mention of her girlfriend. ‘Are you going to be there too?”
“Of course. I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
Sophia smiles and then she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth, a nervous tick I’ve noticed she’s had over the years. ‘Miles, can I ask you something?’
I sigh, knowing what’s coming next. ‘Soph, we do this every time.’ Wren looks up at me in confusion. ‘Sophia, here, is a little photographer. You’ve probably seen her photos all over the school and on the school Instagram account. She still looks confused so I add, ‘She wants to take a photo of us.’
Wren smiles shyly but before she can say anything, Sophia cuts in. ‘I’m planning on making a mockumentary of some sorts for this seson and I need some more pictures of NU’s star player. I need to schedule in an interview with you soon.’
‘That sounds really cool,’ Wren starts. ‘But do I have to be in it? I’m not on the team.’
‘Yeah, but you’re on my team,’ I murmur and she rolls her eyes. ‘Come on, baby. Just one photo.’
She groans. ‘Fine. Just one.’
Sophia squeals happily and whips out the camera that she takes with her everywhere and instructs Wren and I to sit closer together until she’s basically in my lap. As I keep my arm around her shoulder, she uses one of her hands to wrap around my middle, snuggling her face into my shoulder.
She feels too good like this. Too much.
‘Say, ‘Hockey!’ We do as she asks, no matter how cringe it is. The camera clicks and Wren doesn’t pull apart from me. Sophia holds up the back camera to her face and squints at it. ‘It’s perfect.’
‘Can we see it?’ Wren asks.
Sophia laughs. ‘You’ll see it once the video is done.’
I wipe the confusion off Wren’s face with a kiss to her cheek as Sophia turns back around.
We keep quiet most of the game as I watch Xavier and Grey with concentration as they shuffle on the ice. We’re in the lead during the first period against Fraser College, one of our more friendly opponents. We usually play against each other before the season starts just to get warmed up. It almost always ends with a fight – like all hockey games – but not any hard feelings. Most of the guys on my team went to high school with people on their team so we’re all familiar with each other.
During the first intermission, Wren peppers me with more hockey questions before another one of my friends turn up behind me in the queue for the vending machine. Charlie Jacobs is one of those guys that I don’t see often enough to call him one of my close friends, but I have seen him at nearly all the parties I went to over the past few months. He’s a cool guy but he doesn’t exactly fit in with my friendship group.
“Davis! I wasn’t expecting to see you today,” Charlie exclaims, running a hand through his blonde hair in disbelief. “It’s good to see you in daylight, man.”
I laugh nervously as Wren blinks up at me, twisting open the bottle of water. She moves closer to me as I watch her watch him. My friends are not at all like hers, so I wrap my arm around her shoulder, tugging her close to my side.
“Yeah, it’s good to see you too,” I reply finally. I look down to Wren fiddling with the plastic around the bottle. “This is my girlfriend, Wren. She skates. You should come to one of her performances sometime.”
“Jesus, I can talk y’know,” Wren murmurs as she looks up at me before turning back to Charlie, a smile playing on her lips. “But, yeah, I do skate. Don’t let Milesy bully you into coming.”
“No, I definitely will go.” Charlie laughs with a huge grin. Right answer. “You probably wouldn’t believe it, but I used to skate as a kid. I wasn’t very good, but I appreciate the sport.”
“You’re right. I wouldn’t have guessed,” Wren says. I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic or not as she takes a sweep of his thrifted cream jeans and white knitted sweater. Charlie smiles at her and turns to me.
“Funny question, actually,” Charlie starts, rubbing the back of his neck. “If you’re dating Wren does that mean Em is single?”
“She’s been single for months, Charlie,” I huff. Wren does flinch at the mention of my ex. There’s not much of a story there to be told other than every guy on the team wanted her even when she was with me. “If you’re asking for my permission to date her then sure. I really couldn’t care less.”
“Okay, cool. It’s just – You looked like you would kill anyone that even looked at her when you were dating so I wanted to make sure.” Wren looks up at me with an evil smile and I can tell she’s going to make fun of me later.
“Yeah, well, I don’t care anymore. If you want to date her, go ahead,” I say finally. I know that Emily would eat him alive, but I don’t say that. “The game is starting up again. We better get back to our seats.”
I don’t let him say bye before I turn around with my arm still around Wren. She doesn’t say anything while walk up to the seats. She just sits with a happy expression on her face before I pick up her water and throw it in the trash. When I sit down, she places her hand on my thigh and my breathing stops. For someone who loves physical touch so much, whenever she touches me, it feels different. It feels like every nerve in my body is set on fire one by one.
It feels like a slow, torturing, perfect way to die.
“Jealous and protective. Wow, Davis. You really are something,” she whispers into my ear. As she draws back, the smell of her clouds my thoughts and I don’t respond.
It would be too risky to tell her that I would protect her with my life. I would never let anything, or anyone hurt her. The game starts up again and I push away those feelings to focus on the players.
When we score another goal, Wren, and I both get out of our seats and cheer, the excitement completely taking over us. Chaos erupts around us as the stadium grows loud with chants and cheers. She jumps into my arm and hugs me tight. Her arms around my neck and my hands on my waist don’t feel strange or unnatural. They feel welcoming. Without thinking about it, I kiss her on the lips quickly before pulling away. I make sure to not make it any deeper than that. Only a peck. Her eyes widen in shock for a moment before she returns her celebratory smile to the rest of the team.
See.
This is easy.
We can do this.
*
The locker room is loud and chaotic when I walk in. Most of the guys are still in their jerseys, spraying water around as they whoop and yell. There is no better feeling than winning a game alongside your best friends. When they see me, they start cheering even louder.
“Look who decided to show up,” Harry announces, gesturing towards me, looking out of place in my jeans and hoodie.
“You guys did good. Could have been better if I was there though,” I laugh. Tyler Vaughan stalks towards me, patting me on the back.
“No need to get cocky, dude. You need to get back out there. This season is going to be a nightmare without you,” they say, rolling their eyes at the rest of the team before slipping away into the showers.
“It’s up to Coach. I’m still training and getting my head back in the game. Coach just needs to give me the all-clear,” I reply shrugging. All of the team nod in agreement, understanding why I haven’t been in the best shape.
Then Jake starts laughing hysterically from the corner of the room. Who the fuck does he think this is? Is he a villain in a kid’s movie? Everyone’s heads to turn to him as he makes himself the centre of attention. Like always.
Jake and I were good friends in first year. We both got onto the team and like all my other teammates, we bonded instantly. Carter was never really a fan of him. He always thought Jake was too much for the team. Too much chaotic energy and not in a good way. He always took things a step too far, especially during prank week. Then he started dating anyone he could get his hands on. He dated Scarlett which didn’t last very long when he cheated on her. Considering who her family are, he’s lucky he got away without a scratch. He’s a good player which is the only reason anyone on this team tolerates him.
“Are you, Davis? Because I haven’t seen you on the ice in over four months,” he drawls, coming closer to me. I swallow, suddenly feeling rage and nausea at the same time.
“Dude, calm down. No one has been feeling it since Carter died, especially Miles. They were practically brothers. Give it a rest,” Xavier cuts in, coming to my rescue.
“Don’t give me that dead friend bullshit. If Davis wanted to play, he would have by now. Instead, he’s too busy flaunting around with his girlfriend,” he says, moving closer in my face. I take a breath in, trying to calm myself down. “What’s her name? Wren? Hacks’ kid?”
“Keep her name out of your mouth, Callahan,” I bite out, my fists clenching and unclenching at my sides. I feel bile rising in my throat, but I swallow it. I’ve never felt this kind of anger and exhaustion all at the same time. I hate the way it makes my pulse quicken and my jaw clench.
“Or what? You going to go crying to Coach about it? Grow the fuck up, Miles. If you ever want to play in the NHL, you’re going to have to stop moping over Carter and stop drooling over that whore. If you’re not careful, she might follow in her friend’s footsteps.”
I get closer to him, our faces inches apart.
“Talk about her, or her friends, again and see what happens.” I growl. An evil smile spreads across his face slowly. “I swear to God, Callahan, if you so much as breathe near her, I’ll crack your fucking head open.”
“Oh, shit,” he laughs. “Does she really fuck that good, Davis?”
I bite my tongue so hard that it almost bleeds. I take a deep breath in before turning around. I can do this. I can take the high road. I can walk out of here and leave him to crawl back into whatever hole he came from. If I mess up now, I could be off the team for good. I walk close to the door before I hear him again behind me.
“Yeah, go home and cry to your little slut,” Jake shouts.
I turn back around.
Fuck this.
