Deciding to host Friendsmas is probably the best decision I’ve made all year. Even when we all lived at home, we always spent Christmas day together. After spending the morning with our family opening presents, we’d go all go over to Gigi’s house and eat as much shit we could.
The holidays have been hard for Ken because her mom and sister still live in South Carolina while we’re here in Utah. It’s too expensive for her to fly out and too far for her to drive, so last Christmas it was just us three. I always call my parents on Christmas Day but to them, it’s seen as a day off work for my mom more than anything special. I had a long call with my dad, wishing me and my girls a merry christmas, as well as sending me a new pair of skates. My mom’s ‘merry christmas’ came in the form of a four foot bouquet with a generic and impersonal card.
I asked Gigi to come over too but as soon as she heard that Miles and his friends would be here, she declined.
We decided to do Secret Santa which wasn’t very secret since there’s only three of us. It didn’t take long for us to guess who had who, but we still act like we don’t know. We sit down on the living room floor, all in our Christmas pyjamas which we intend on wearing all day, each with a present in front of us.
“Okay, I wonder who had me,” Kennedy starts with an eye roll, shaking the box in front of her. I look over at Scarlett who’s beaming. She opens the box and pulls out two hardback books. “Oh my God! Shut the fuck up. Who had me?”
“Doesn’t that take away the whole purpose of secret Santa?” I ask.
“Okay, so it wasn’t you…” Kennedy says, giving me an evil side eye before turning to Scarlett. “How did you get these?”
She holds up two special editions, signed copies of her favourite author Jasmine James’ new novel which she has been obsessed with all year. They’ve been sold out everywhere but somehow, she managed to snag two.
“I have my sources,” Scarlett shrugs as Kennedy drools over them. “Now me.”
She picks up her present which is in a small envelope. From me.
I try and hide my smile when she opens it. The anticipation surges through me as she takes out the small handwritten note.
“To Scarlett,” she reads aloud. “Here’s a present that you can use for the next year, and you don’t have to lie about sleeping with the hotel owner.’ Wren! You sneaky motherfucker. How did you do this?”
“I have my sources. Plus, if you keep pretending to get access to the hotel without a real ID, you’re going to get thrown in jail. Now, you can stop lying about it. You can use it for a whole year too,” I explain. She jumps into my arms, and I almost topple over as she suffocates me. “Okay, my turn.”
I get back up into a sitting position and pick up the gift bag in front of me. I know it’s Kennedy who got me this from the process of elimination and the terrible wrapping. I take out the hundreds of tissue papers before digging my hand into the bag and I pull out…
“Batteries?” I ask Ken. She nods her head and gestures towards the bag for me to keep looking through it. Then my hand finally hits a big box. I pull it out and start laughing.
“What is it?” Scarlett asks from across me, her knee bouncing like a child. I turn the box around so she can see the front of it. Scarlett also bursts into hysterical laughter. “This is the most Wren thing I’ve ever seen. Now I wish that Ken had me.”
“I had to do a lot of research for this. And the week when the Wi-Fi was down, I had to go to the library, to search up where I could get a good one. You wouldn’t believe how many times my account got blocked for searching ‘Where can I buy the best vibrator,’” Kennedy explains.
“Thanks, Ken. You always get the best presents,” I say when my laughter dies down.
“Well, I thought if you’re not going to sleep with Miles, you might as well get some action elsewhere.” She shrugs.
I don’t have the energy to make any snide comments because as much as I’d like to joke about it, Miles and I have not slept together. There have been opportunities — many opportunities — but one of us always shut it down. The second we sleep with each other; this whole thing will be over. The fake part and the friendship part.
It’s not long before Miles and his friends arrive. His friend, Xavier, a kind black man, comes in with a bottle of champagne. Evan, rich boy of the century and Scarlett’s nemesis, arrives in jeans and a button down.
And Miles looks so fucking sexy.
It’s unfair that he can look so good all the time. It doesn’t help that he has a sweet gooey heart and a wicked smile. That combination is deadly.
Knowing someone on the inside as well as the outside is a different kind of attraction.
When he walks in, he immediately snakes his hands around my waist and presses a kiss into my neck even though the only person who doesn’t know it’s fake is Evan. It wouldn’t take a genius to know that there are some moments that aren’t fake. The things we do for the sake of it — to give in to the pleasure for a second.
‘I got something for you,’ he whispers into my skin and everyone around us groans. My chest pinches as I look up at him but he doesn’t say anything as he drags me by the arm into the corridor to my bedroom.
When we get inside, his woody cologne clouds my senses as he towers over me as my back presses against my closed door.
I finally speak. ‘What are you doing?’
He smirks. ‘Close your eyes,’ he demands.
I raise one eyebrow. ‘Why…?’
He takes a step back, hiding the small bag that I only just noticed, behind his back. ‘Do you trust me, Wren?’ I nod, because I really, really, do trust him. Probably more than I should. And I’m excited to find out what he got me. ‘Then, close your eyes.’
I do as he says, all my other senses heightening as I feel him move closer to me. The fresh lavander smell of his soap crowds my mind and my nose as I feel his hand come to the top of my chest where my collar is opened slightly.
My breathing picks up as the tip of his fingers skim the expanse of skin on my chest. ‘Miles,’ I breathe. ‘What kind present do you have that requires you touch me?’
‘Baby, I could think up any excuse to touch you, but this isn’t one of those,’ he whispers, his voice hoarse as his mouth feels so close to my own. I’m betting that if I moved my head a slight inch, our noses would touch.
I feel him starting to button down my Christmas shirt, very slowly. The same torturous way he did at the gala. When I feel the cold air of my room hit my stomach, I know the shirt is unbuttoned. I don’t have to open my eyes to see how hard my nipples are. I’m around him all the time in my sports bra but this feels different. It shouldn’t be this intimate. Whatever it is he’s doing.
I don’t know which one of us it is that gasps when his hand barely touches the skin below my belly button.
‘Shit, Wren. I didn’t think this through,’ he murmurs.
‘Think what through?’ I ask. He only responds by catching my wrist in his hands and he pulls at the sleeves of my shirt and it drops it to the floor. I hear the rustling of tissue paper and then I feel a soft fabric stretch around my head and he pull my arms through it gently, tugging it down on my stomach. ‘Can I open my eyes now?’
‘Yeah.’
I do. He’s grinning at me with that smug face of his, probably loving the way I get flustered so easily. I look down to the shirt he pulled over my head. It’s a white shirt, the same one that Miles wore at my showcase with a bright red heart. Instead, it says, ‘I heart my boyfriend.’ He dusts off my shoulders, holding onto them as he looks down at me. ‘Now we can be matching.’
I can’t control the laugh that escapes me as I look up at him. ‘It’s perfect. Thank you,’ I say and I can tell how hard I’m blushing. I shift from one foot to the other, feeling uneasy under his gaze. ‘I didn’t get you anything, Milesy.’
He leans down and presses a kiss to my cheek as if it’s so normal. It should be normal by now but it doesn’t feel like it yet. ‘You don’t need to. I’m spending the next week with you. I think I’ll survive.’
*
Nobody says anything about the shirt when I go back into the living room, apparently used to Miles’ antics. After we finish cooking dinner, we set it out on the kitchen island and do a mini buffet. Everybody lines up, taking a paper plate to save the washing up, and get the food they like. We probably made enough food to feed a whole football team, but I know the girls will live off of this for the next week while I’m in Palm Springs. I stand at the other side of the island, waiting for everyone to get their food first.
“Save some for the rest of us,” Evan mutters to Scarlett who’s taken one of the last pieces of bacon in the foil tray. She looks over at him, her face plastered into a fake smile.
“You’re right, sorry,” she says sarcastically before picking up her bacon and shoving it into his face. He doesn’t fight back. He lets her shove more into his mouth until he can’t take it anymore. “Do you want some syrup with that?”
He shakes his head, vigorously but he smiles behind his full mouth. He smiles? He’s one weird guy. “Yeah, I thought so.”
We all mostly eat in silence until we’re all so stuffed, we spread out in the living room. Everything feels so natural here, like we were all made to be friends in some weird way. Evan and Xavier lay out on the couch while Kennedy sits in her beanbag with Scarlett’s head in her lap. Miles sits on the other couch, and I sit next to him, my head on his shoulder.
I knew that moving into this apartment with my girls would make this place feel like a home but now, it feels even better. As if the word ‘home’ is screaming off the walls at full volume.
“So, what did you guys get for Christmas?” Xavier asks. Evan sits further up, with a smug grin on his face. “Not you, Branson. Nobody wants to hear about what car daddy bought you.”
Evan slouches back down and I giggle, suddenly feeling the champagne hit me. I don’t ever drink but today feels special and I feel safe enough around these guys. Especially after my first time getting drunk was an emotional mess, I’m trying to be more cautious.
“You guys did secret Santa, right?” Miles asks. I look up at him and nod as he’s clearly oblivious to what I got.
“I got these books from Scarlett,” Kennedy beams, holding up her new prized possession. I know she’s not going to shut up about this until Jasmine’s new book comes out.
“I got an all-exclusive access to my favourite hotel from Wren,” Scarlett says proudly, flashing a toothy smile at me. “If you’re lucky, Miles, maybe she’ll sugar momma you too.”
Everyone bursts out laughing at her remark and I stick my tongue out at her. I keep quiet, not knowing if saying what I got is the smartest idea.
“What about you, Wren?” Xavier asks when the laughter has died down.
‘What about me?’
Evan’s eyebrows raise. ‘What did you get?’
“Uh, nothing,” I reply, cheerfully.
Xavier and Evan look at me confused. I swallow and look around the room, trying to find something that I can say to change the subject. It’s too late to rush off and pretend the food’s burning. Miles rubs my shoulder, turning his head down to look at me.
“You’re telling me that none of your friends got you a present?” Miles asks, his eyes narrowing at me. I shake my head, biting my lip.
“I got her a vibrator. The best one in town,” Kennedy shouts, and I shoot her an evil look along with Scarlett. “What? She was too scared to say it. A woman’s pleasure should not be an embarrassing topic.”
I feel Miles stiffen beneath me, his breathing becoming strangled.
“You two having trouble in the bedroom, Davis?” Evan asks, laughing.
Miles ignores him and the conversation around us moves on. It’s better that he didn’t say anything. It’s better that I didn’t say anything.
What would he say?
No, she fucks like a God or Yeah, we’ve not gone anywhere past second base because she’s too scared for this to get real.
I feel him bring his mouth closer to my ear, his breath tickling my neck.
“Are you trying to make me jealous or are you just trying to turn me on even more? Either way, it’s working,” he whispers, and my breath gets caught in my throat that I end up coughing like a maniac as he smirks at me. I don’t need a mirror to be able to tell how red my face is right now.
Luckily, I’m saved by Evan of all people.
“Let’s play truth or dare,” he suggests. Scarlett scoffs and rolls her eyes.
“What? Are we in middle school?” she laughs.
“I never said it was going to be PG,” Evan retorts. She raises her eyebrows at him, sitting up out of Kennedy’s lap. “Truth or dare?”
“Truth,” Scarlett responds, holding his stare. The energy between them is lethal.
“Where is the weirdest place you’ve had sex?”
Kennedy and I exchange knowing glances. Kennedy clears her throat, attempting to smother her laugh while Scarlett gives her a wicked grin before turning back to Evan.
“In public or in general? Or both?” Scarlett asks innocently.
“Let’s go with both,” Evan replies.
“Our business class. A few weeks ago.”
Evan practically chokes on air, coughing horrifically while Kennedy and I finally burst out laughing. Miles lets out a ‘Jesus Christ’ under his breath while Xavier’s mouth hangs open.
“I’m afraid to ask but where their people in there?” Xavier asks, grimacing.
“No. Well, I don’t think so anyway. It was pretty dark,” Scarlett answers with a shrug.
“With who?” Evan asks when he gets his voice back.
His face is unreadable. It’s hard to tell whether he’s angry, dissatisfied, turned on or all three. You could cut the tension between them with a knife.
“That’s for me to know and you to never find out,” Scarlett says, tapping her nose.
“Okay, moving on,” Evan drags out, turning towards me and Miles. “Wren, truth or dare?”
“Dare.”
“I dare you to kiss the hottest guy in the room,” Evan says with a dark smile. I’m beginning to think he just enjoys stirring shit up. Before I can retort Kennedy butts in, again.
“God, if you want someone to kiss you so bad, just say it. You’re starting to sound desperate,” she groans.
“I’m not. I just want her to do when she’s been dying to since I got in here,” Evan drawls. I feel Miles shift beneath me, his grip on my shoulder tightening. Evan’s a good-looking guy but there is no way I’m going to kiss him.
“Well, obviously, it’s not you, Evan. And sorry, Xavier it’s not you either but you were close second,” I say, and he shrugs happily. I move out of Miles’ grip, as I scramble on top of him, straddling him in my new favourite shirt and Christmas shorts.
“Uh, hi?’
“Hi,” I whisper back, smiling at him, before my fingers snake into the back of his head, pushing it gently onto the headrest and my mouth covers his.
It’s the kind of release I’ve needed since our last kiss. It’s slow at first, patient, our mouths getting used to the sensation again. His hands instinctively come around my hips, pushing me further into him until my front is flush against his hard chest.
I let myself drown in him, letting his lips fight over mine. Everything around us blurs when his tongue slips into my mouth, and I whimper as quietly as I can. I know exactly what I’ll be thinking about tonight when I use my present.
I’m surprised I don’t explode into oblivion when his hands slip under my shirt, wrapping around my back. I bite on his lip gently as I pull away from him, both of us panting.
I stay straddled on him, his hands still under my shirt when I turn back to the rest of them. The girls are trying not to laugh, and the guys do the same but with something else in their eyes.
“God, he said kiss not whatever that was,” Xavier says, retching. This is why we work well together. Xavier is the voice of rationality.
“You get what you wanted, Evan?” Miles asks, his voice breathy from behind me. He bites my collarbone gently; his eyes connect with Evan across the room.
“You guys are so boring. You didn’t have to choose him just because he’s your boyfriend,” Evan whines. I climb off Miles, but as I do, I can feel him between his jeans. I try
to ignore the throbbing I feel between my legs as I sit beside him, nuzzling my face into his shoulder.
“Even if he wasn’t, I still would have,” I whisper.
*
They continue to play truth or dare while I slip away into the kitchen, cleaning up some of the plates and dishes that we ended up using. Today has been a good day. Our friendship groups are so different that they make so much sense. I’m glad that he has good friends.
Yes, Evan can be a bit much but for the most part he’s tolerable. And Xavier is just the sweetest person to level out their energies. He was constantly trying to make sure everyone was okay all night, checking if the girls were drinking too much.
I’m putting dirty dishes into the sink when Miles comes through from the living room. He doesn’t say anything, he just stands beside me, waiting for me to wash the plates then he dries them.
“Did you mean what you said earlier?” he asks in the midst of the comfortable silence.
“What?”
“Earlier. About you wanting to kiss me even if we weren’t together. Or pretending to be together.”
I can’t think of a reason to deny it anymore. There’s nothing that I could say or do that could combat this feeling I’ve had inside me since I met him at the party. Since he let me into his life and completely changed mine.
“Yeah, I did mean it,” I admit. He groans and when I look up at him, he throws his head back dramatically. “What? Are you annoyed?”
“No,” he says with a slight edge. “I don’t know. I guess I’m a little frustrated because you know how badly I want you. How badly I’ve wanted you since the beginning. For real. But whenever I try to make a move, you run away. Like you did the morning after the game.”
His voice is calm and levelled but his admission still shocks me. I try and ignore the way my stomach crowds with angry butterflies when the words leave his mouth. His eyes look hurt. “That’s a different thing.”
“Is it?” he asks, slight pain and irritation in his tone.
I open my mouth to speak but I’m interrupted by Xavier, Evan, and Scarlett walking into the kitchen. The boys look absolutely fucked. I don’t know when everybody got so drunk, but I was focusing on keeping myself sober enough.
“If you’re staying for a bit, Miles, I’m going to drive these two home,” Scarlett groans, patting Xavier on the chest. He makes a strange noise from the back of his throat. ‘You guys gonna be okay?”
“Yeah,” I reply. I look up to Miles but he’s not looking at me. Panic settles in me.
“Actually, I’m going to go too,” Miles says, walking away to get his jacket. Scarlett nods as she opens the door. I walk toward him, trying to reach for his hand but he pulls it away.
“Miles,” I breathe. He turns around to me, his expression hard. “You’re still picking me up tomorrow, right?”
He comes closer towards me and kisses me on the top of my head. “Yeah. I’ll be here.”
