“Wren?” I pull her inside from the February chill and wrap my arms around her cold body. She stands lifelessly in my arms as she cries, breathing heavily. “Wren, what’s wrong? What happened? Are you hurt?”
She looks up at me, but she doesn’t say anything. My heartbeat triples in pace when I take in her sullen expression. Her face is completely red, and her eyes look tired and dark from crying. I keep my arms around her as I bring her further into the house. I take off her coat for her and she slips it on the hanger, not fully looking at me.
I walk with my arm around her as I take her up into my room, without saying anything. She sits down at the edge of my bed, looking up at me, her mouth twitching into a frown.
“I think I’m going to throw up,” she groans before rushing off into my en suite. I run in after her but she’s already retching over the toilet. I kneel down next to her and pull back her hair as she finishes throwing up. She coughs and sighs over the toilet.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was so disgusting,” she whispers as she sits down on the floor next to the toilet seat, pulling her knees to her chest. She tries to make a joke but her laugh sounds forced. “How the tables have turned, huh?”
I laugh quietly as I scoop her into my lap while I lean against the bathtub. When I move my hand over her forehead, brushing her hair out of her face, she’s quiet as she melts her body into mine.
The slower my hand moves, the softer she starts to cry again with her shoulders shaking. I sit there with her, not sure what to say to make this better. I’ve always been awkward in these sorts of situations. The pain in her voice makes my chest tighten and I wish there was a way that I could take away all of her hurt. Her cries settle down after a while and her breathing steadies.
“Can I take a shower? I need to brush my teeth too,” Wren says between sniffles as she moves from out of my lap to sit next to me. “Can you get my clothes?”
“Of course,” I whisper, and I kiss her on the head.
I go into my room and look into my drawer that now has some of her clothes mixed in with mine. You wouldn’t guess how many thongs have ended up in my laundry in the last few weeks. I pull out a shirt and some shorts and go back into the bathroom.
She’s still on the floor so I reach out my hand and pull her up. Her face is still soaked with tears, but she seems better than she did when she came through the door.
“Are you going to be okay? Do you want me to help you?” I ask, trying to find some way to be of use to her as I shift from one foot to the other.
“Miles,” she says softly, shaking her head. “I think I can take a shower on my own. Thank you for offering, though. I will definitely take it up another time.” She tries to laugh again but it doesn’t sound like her own.
I pace my room while she takes one of her long showers. At the rink this morning, I had a feeling that seeing her mom would put her down. She never talks about her like she is her mom. She talks as if she’s more like her coach – an inconvenience. After meeting her dad, I couldn’t imagine how he was married to Ms Hacks for so long when they seem so different. Mr Hackerly is a kind and a very fun person. Someone who just let her be a kid.
It makes me think that I’m too hard on my mom who has always supported me and never pushed me to do something I don’t want to do. She’s let me live. No matter how hard I make it for her.
I stop my overthinking and sit down on the bed when the warm air from the bathroom hits me. She comes out of the en suite in shorts and a t-shirt, her hair damp and dripping on her shoulders. I still haven’t got used to her in my room like this. Like she belongs here. She sits down on the bed next to me, crossing her legs.
“Do you want to talk about what happened?” I ask, bringing my hand to her back. She doesn’t say anything for a while, but she looks fresher.
“Austin came back,” she responds quietly, staring at the dresser in front of her. “My mom knows that she’s pregnant and even though Austin is happy about it, my mom has found a way to put all the pressure onto me. If Austin doesn’t go back to ballet after the baby comes, all of her focus will be on me.”
“Jesus, Wren. I’m so sorry.” My heart aches for her. If I could take all of her pain, I would do it in an instant. I know how hard she works and sometimes it can’t be enough for her. Or her mom.
“You don’t need to be sorry. It’s just my messed-up family,” she replies. “Even now when she’s five months pregnant she’s still trying to please her. How fucked up is that?”
“That is really messed up but that doesn’t mean that you have to. You need to do things for yourself, not for her.”
“I know,” she says under her breath. “I just don’t think it’s that easy. I found skating fun when I was a kid, when I was doing it with my friends without the pressure of trying to win a competition. But after doing it competitively, I don’t think I could skate anymore without thinking about how to do better. It’s, like, wired in me.
‘I know it’s stupid but I keep constantly trying to do my best, hoping that if I am the very best at everything, then she won’t have a reason to stop loving me.’
‘Wren, you need to be happy. You are not responsible for making somebody else happy. You need to try to find some way to make your goals actually your goals,” I suggest. She turns to me, a small smile on her lips.
“This is me trying, Miles.”
She looks at me for a long while as if her eyes are telling me to trust her. Telling me believe that she’s able to pick herself back up. As if she needs to let me know that this isn’t her first time having this conversation with somebody. I just hope she means it.
‘I’m proud of you.’
She blinks at me. ‘You don’t need to say that, Miles.’
‘I do,’ I say, ‘you don’t need me to say it but I want to, okay? I haven’t known you long but I don’t need to to say that you are the most brilliant person I have ever met. And I-‘ The words get stuck in my throat and I swallow them. ‘I think you’re spectacular. And I hate that you think that your mom is going to stop loving you for not doing your best. Because you, just existing is enough.’
She wraps her arms around me and it feels like it’s the first time she’s really hugged me. She holds on tight to my shoulders and I squeeze her lower back, pulling her into me as I whisper, I’m here.
‘You have no idea how much that means to me,’ she muffles into my neck. I do, I want to say, I do. She holds onto me tight before pulling back, trying her best at a real smile.
“Enough of this sad shit. Do you want to order food? I’m hungry,” she rambles as she flops back onto my bed, clutching her stomach. I don’t push her on the sudden change of subject. I pull my phone out of my pocket and open up UberEATS.
“Are you sure? You just threw up,” I ask. She nods, pulling her hair out of her face. I try and ignore the streaks of red I can see in her eyes. “What do you want to get?”
“Uh…I don’t know,” she says, biting her lip.
“You just said you were hungry.”
“I am,” she says defensively. This always happens with her. She complains about how hungry she is but can never make a decision about food.
“Okay, then. Burgers?
“Too many calories.”
“What happened to wanting do things for yourself?” I groan as I lean over her. I kiss around her face and her neck rapidly. She tries to escape but I kiss her faster and she laughs, moving up and down the bed.
“I am,” she squeals again as I start to kiss her collarbone. “I want to do things for myself but, that doesn’t mean I want to mess up my diet right now. I work hard for the body you’re so clearly obsessed with.”
“That’s true but I don’t want you to feel like you have to stick to it for me,” I say, pulling away from the kiss. Her soft hand moves to my cheek, her thumb stroking beneath my eye the way that I like.
“I don’t stick to it for you. I do that for myself.”
“Okay, good,” I reply as I kiss her again.
*
After completely demolishing our order of ramen, Wren and I lay in my bed, as we let the bloating settle. We put on her favourite movie ‘Easy A’ while we waited for the food to arrive, but we hardly watched it while we ate so we’re restarting it. In fact, she begged me to restart it because, apparently, it’s not the same watching something while you’re hungry.
Her leg is hooked around mine as I lean on the pillows behind my head to see the TV. For someone who could barely look at me a few months ago, she’s hella clingy. It’s like we have to be touching at all times. Even after she forced me to restart it, her head is on my chest and she’s not even looking at the screen as she stares at the material of my shirt as her nails run up and down my arm.
“What are you thinking about?” I ask, trailing my finger up and down her spine.
“You want the honest answer?” she mumbles into my shirt.
“Honesty, always.” She shifts in her position and moves to look up at me. Her soft smile turns into a sexy, evil smirk as she climbs onto me. I don’t ignore the twitch in my dick when she leans forward, her hands on my chest and her breath falling close to my ear.
“Just thinking about how much watching you eat ramen turns me on,” she whispers before kissing my throat. I bring my hands to her ass, squeezing her softly before she gasps quietly in my ear.
“Oh yeah?”
“Mm hmm,” she murmurs, her voice sultry and quiet on my ear. “All I could think about was how badly I wanted your mouth on me. On every.” She kisses my throat. “Inch.” She kisses me again. “Of my body.”
I shift beneath her touch as I move my hands from her ass up to her waist under her shirt, my hands spanning her ribs. I can make what she wants to happen happen.
I lean up onto the headboard, her legs on either side of me. Her eyes look greener today as she studies my face before diving into my mouth. I push back with force when her hands come to my hair, pulling, and yanking at my curls. I don’t bother to hide the sounds at the back of my throat when she slips her tongue into my mouth. It’s warm and welcoming and salty. I break away from the kiss, panting as I move my hands further up her shirt and fuck me. She’s got nothing underneath.
The second my hand contacts her breast, she shivers, almost laughing. I run two fingers over her nipple, teasing and rubbing as my mouth explores her neck and her collarbones. She rocks her body into me, her shorts rubbing against my jeans as her tits fall into my hand. She makes a low sound of approval when my hand squeezes her nipple at the same time I bite at her neck.
“Take it off,” she demands with her eyes closed. I do as she asks and pull up her shirt over her head. I could get drunk just by looking at her before me. She looks down at me, but my eyes are focused on her chest. “Are you going to keep your clothes on or what? This feels like a very unfair game of strip poker.”
I laugh as I arch forward to pull my top over my head. Immediately, Wren’s hands and mouth are all over my chest and my body as she makes her painful journey towards the part of me that is throbbing. She connects eyes with me as she licks from the top of my chest through the middle of my abs.
God, she could undo me just like this. Her hands reach the button of my jeans, and she unbuttons them without breaking eye contact with me. She moves her hands to my hips as she pulls down my jeans and I help her my lifting up my hips a little. When I’ve got myself free from them, she places her small hand over me on top of my boxers and I hiss.
“You said you wanted my mouth on your body, not the other way around,” I manage through a shaky exhale.
“It can wait.”
“No,” I say back as I push myself up from beneath her and instead turn her around until she’s under me. Her back lands on the bed with an umph. “It can’t.”
I crawl beneath her legs, and she nudges them open for me as she props herself up onto her elbows. Every time I go down on her, she has to watch. She has to watch the way I work inside her, the way I’m straining and the way she jerks beneath me. I spread kisses below her bellybutton to savour the moment. I know she gets frustrated when I take too long. How she looks at me expectantly, her chest rising and falling with impatience. What she doesn’t know is how it turns me on even more.
After a long journey from her breasts back down to the line of her shorts, I finally hook my fingers into the waist band of both materials and slide them down her legs. Just as I expected, she’s bare and glistening, waiting for me.
“Do you have to take so long every time?” Wren asks with a groan as I stare at her.
I laugh, nudging her thighs apart even further. “I won’t touch you at all if you don’t stop with the attitude. Got it?”
She nods her head obediently. I slowly drag my finger between her wetness and instantly she gasps, and her hips move forward. I take my time to run my thumb over her swollen clit while my other hand teases at her entrance, not going in just yet. I can feel my dick jerk when I carefully push two fingers inside of her and she moans. Loud.
I tease her repeatedly without fully pushing in. I push just in and then back out again slowly. I use my other hand to continue rubbing around her sensitive part as my fingers move in and out of her. I take my hand off her clit to make room for my tongue as I circle around her, tasting her.
“Fuck, Miles,” she cries, gripping onto the sheets, her heels digging into my back. “Oh my God.”
I pump in and out of her faster, my tongue moving around her quickly. Her legs open and close around my face as she tries to make some sort of movement between us. Wren starts to roll against my fingers as one of her hands come to my hair, pulling my face further into her. I move my tongue over her faster and her legs tighten around me.
“Miles…” she pants and just by the way my name sounds on her mouth, I slow down what I’m doing to make this last longer, knowing she’s close. “Don’t stop.”
Gingerly, I pull my fingers out of her and she looks down at me, her face red and puffy as she frowns. I bring my fingers to my mouth, and I suck on them slowly, tasting the sweetness of her. She whimpers, her legs still clenching and unclenching around me.
“We’re going to finish at the same time, baby,” I say as I crawl up the length of her, kissing along her wet thighs. Her face is still in shock, but she reaches to my bedside drawer and fishes a condom out of it, handing it to me. I rip it open with my teeth before standing off the bed to take down my boxers and roll it on.
I climb back onto the bed and her legs are still open, so I kneel between them. I lean over her to kiss across her bare chest and she murmurs. I take my time fitting each of her tits into my mouth and she wiggles beneath me. She feels so perfect. So good. So mine. I make my way down to her pussy again as I line up my dick to her entrance. Even though she’s so fucking wet, I take my time to tease the tip at the entrance, sliding up and down without pushing in.
“Miles. I swear to God, if you’re not inside me in the next five seconds, I’m…”
Her words turn into loud moan when I push inside of her. I draw back slightly as I feel the way she tightens around me then I go back in. Deeper. Harder. I push myself into her as she screams out expletives.
‘Can you be a good girl for me and keep your pretty mouth quiet?’ I ask through ragged breaths, remembering that my roommates are probably home, as I place my hand over her mouth.
Each time my name leaves her mouth in that muffled, whiny voice of hers, I push in harder, and her hips meet my every thrust. Fuck trying to savour it. I want the sensation to surge through me right now. I have to move my hand from her mouth to grip onto her waist to keep her from sliding up the bed as I lean down to kiss across her chest and her breasts.
“Why do you feel so good?” I groan into her skin. “I don’t understand it. You just feel so fucking perfect, baby.”
“I don’t know,” she laughs through a sigh, the sound rolling off me like a wave. I pull out of her and then go back in slower which only makes her moan again. I push just in and just out, gently teasing each inch as she grips onto my forearms. I look down at her face; her eyebrows pained together with pleasure, and it destroys me. I start to push in again. Faster. She wraps her hand over her mouth to stifle her moans like I told her to.
“Good girl,” I pant as I feel the climax ripping through me, while I watch her force herself to be quiet. “I’m going to—”
“Me too.”
My thrusts become sloppy as I come while I’m inside her and the feeling is obliterating. The orgasm hits her in waves as she stills beneath me before clenching around me and gripping onto the sheets beside her. She jerks and twitches beneath me when the sensation starts to settle down as she breathes in heavily. I press a kiss to her stomach before disposing of the condom and collapsing beside her.
Instinctively, she hooks her leg around me, pulling us even closer.
