The bar was crowded, with a playful energy filling the air. People milled around in small groups while an endless stream of anti-love songs played in the background. Crossed-out hearts hung from the ceiling and papered the side of the bar, an ode to tonight’s theme—Stupid Cupid Saturday.
I sat at a tall table, already sipping a martini—dirty tonight—and tapped my high-heeled foot to a cover of “Love Stinks.” Nora and Hazel had arrived after me and were at the bar, ordering their drinks. I was so glad we were having a girls’ night. I hadn’t seen them in a couple of weeks and with everything that had been going on, I wanted some normalcy. Saturday night out with the girls was perfect.
They made their way through the crowd to our table. Nora’s hair was down, the thick waves framing her face. She wore a short black dress and the cutest red heels—the ensemble looked magnificent on her. Hazel was dressed in a cardigan over a blouse and pencil skirt. Adorable, in a Hazel sort of way. She adjusted her glasses as she and Nora each took a seat, setting their martinis on the table.
“What in the hell is that?” Nora asked, pointing at my ring.
I sighed. I’d considered leaving the ring at home, but the look Shepherd had given me when I’d told him I’d taken it off for my run had been so odd. He’d looked mad—sort of. Or maybe confused. It was hard to tell with him, and he hadn’t said anything else. But I’d slipped it back on before I’d left, feeling like I should probably wear it when I went out. Even though it would mean fessing up to my friends about my fake-engagement debacle.
“It’s an engagement ring,” I said. “A fake engagement ring.”
Nora visibly relaxed. “Oh, I see. It’s not real. I was going to say, holy shit that rock is enormous.”
“Oh, no—the diamond is real.”
Her eyes widened and she stared at the monstrosity on my hand. “What?”
“I mean the engagement is fake. Obviously I’m not marrying Shepherd. But it’s a real diamond.”
“We’re coming back to the part where you’re pretending to be engaged now, because obviously you need to tell us what the fuck that’s about,” Nora said. “But look at that thing. He bought that? It’s not on loan or something?”
“No, he bought it.”
Hazel lifted my hand to inspect the ring up close. “That’s quite the investment in an engagement that isn’t real.”
“It’s ridiculous,” I said. “I don’t know how people wear things like this all the time. It keeps catching on everything.”
“A worthy sacrifice,” Nora said, her voice awed. “It’s gorgeous.”
I pulled it off my finger and held it out to her. “Want to try it on?”
“Do I ever.” Nora smiled as she slipped the ring on. She held out her hand, manicured fingers splayed. “Oh yes.”
“Should you start dropping hints to Max?” I asked, grinning at her. “An engagement ring looks good on you.”
Nora glared at me and switched the ring to her right hand. “No thanks. We broke up anyway.”
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be,” she said, tilting her head to admire the ring. “He was pretty, and his dick wasn’t bad, but I just wasn’t that into him.”
“But Everly,” Hazel said, “why did he buy you an engagement ring? Was the ruse not convincing enough?”
“No, it was. But I kind of blurted out to Svetlana that Shepherd proposed.”
“Why?”
I sighed again. “She came over while Shepherd was taking Richard to an appointment. I invited her in to wait and we ended up talking. She said she wanted to warn me about Shepherd. That I didn’t know what I was getting into by dating him.”
Nora rolled her eyes. “I’m sure she only had your best interests at heart.”
“Hardly. That woman hates me. Anyway, she said Shepherd doesn’t do commitment.” I made air quotes. “And that he just uses people. She said he’s cold and ruthless, and he’ll cast me aside when he’s done with me. It made me so mad. Shepherd isn’t like that. It’s true he doesn’t usually date women for long, but look at the women he dates. They’re like her. He’s the one constantly being used, not them.”
“So you tried to counter her argument by claiming to be engaged,” Hazel said.
“Obviously I had to prove her wrong.”
“Well, this must certainly have shut her up,” Nora said, pulling the ring from her finger. She handed it back to me and I put it on.
“I didn’t want to get one this large, but Shepherd pointed out that it’s what she would want. She saw me with it the other night and I have to admit, the look on her face was hilarious.”
Nora sipped her drink, then set it back on the table. “I’d have paid good money to see that.”
“Agreed,” Hazel said.
As I sat with Nora and Hazel, chatting while we had a few drinks, I noticed something odd. No men approached our table. It wasn’t like we got hit on every time we went out. But to be fair, it was rare to go a night in a place like this without someone showing an interest in at least one of us.
Tonight, it was as if the giant diamond on my finger acted as a man-repellent. Granted, the theme was anti-love—a celebration of being single. But I could tell that wasn’t it. More than once I noticed a man eying our table, only to turn away as soon as his gaze found my left hand. No one approached Nora or Hazel, either, as if my ring created an invisible barrier that extended all the way around our little table.
I didn’t mind, of course. I was here to spend time with my girlfriends, not meet someone. The relationship was fake, but I still wasn’t going to cheat on Shepherd. When this was over, I could think about venturing back into the murky waters of the dating pool.
That thought made my shoulders slump and a sad feeling curl its way through my tummy. Svetlana was sure to lose interest in her game sooner rather than later, if Richard didn’t decide to end it first. How long did we have? A few more weeks? A month? Glancing at the ring on my finger, I thought about going back to my apartment. Sleeping in my own bed again—alone. Only seeing Shepherd at work. Everything going back to normal.
Why did that make me so sad?
Pushing those thoughts from my mind—although they still simmered in the background—I focused on enjoying the night with my girls.
The bed was empty when I woke up. Like I did every morning, I glanced around to see if Shepherd was here. Sleeping next to him had become much more comfortable—I wasn’t going to think about how much I enjoyed the sound of his soft breathing—but I still felt awkward in the morning. I didn’t want to roll out of bed with one of my boobs hanging out of my tank top or look up to find him naked after a shower.
Okay, that second one wouldn’t have been so bad. But the boob thing was a real issue. Tank tops had a way of playing peek-a-boob on me while I slept.
He wasn’t in the bedroom, and the bathroom door was ajar, the light off. It was safe to get up.
I used the bathroom, then changed into a t-shirt and my weekend shorts—they were too worn and faded to wear in public, but they were so comfortable, I couldn’t get rid of them. I put my hair in a bun just to get it off my neck, slid my feet into my fuzzy yellow slippers, and went in search of coffee and breakfast.
Shepherd was in his office, absorbed in something on his laptop. I hesitated in front of his half-open door, debating whether to ask if he wanted breakfast. But he looked so busy, I didn’t want to interrupt.
The kitchen in this place was magnificent. I wasn’t a gourmet cook by any stretch, but I did enjoy cooking a nice meal. And in this expanse of maple, stainless steel, and granite, cooking was a pleasure. The long countertops gave me plenty of space, and everything was top of the line.
I’d anticipated my Sunday-morning-after-girls’-night need for bacon and eggs—I was nothing if not a planner—so I had everything I needed. I made myself a cup of coffee and got to work.
Just as I was heating the pan for the bacon, Richard wandered in, already dressed for the day in a casual shirt and pants. He leaned against the counter, a mug of coffee in his hand.
“Morning.” His eyes crinkled with his smile. Shepherd looked so much like him, but the physical resemblance seemed to be where their similarities ended. It made me wonder why Shepherd was so serious all the time.
“Good morning. Sleep well?”
“Yes, for the most part,” he said.
It didn’t escape my attention that Richard was alone. No Svetlana. Had he spent less time with her this last week? She hadn’t been here in a few days, and she never spent the night. I’d be so relieved when Richard was finally free of her talons, even though I knew what it would mean for me.
I laid a strip of bacon in the pan and it sizzled. “What are you up to today?”
“I’m supposed to take it easy, but I think I’ll get out for a walk. The weather’s nice.”
“That sounds like a good idea. Can I make you some breakfast first?”
“Tempting, but no.” He patted his trim waist. “I have to be more careful about what I eat these days.”
“Fair enough.” I put more bacon in the pan and poked it with tongs to spread it out.
Richard took a sip of his coffee. “You should see if you can get Shep outside. He works too much.”
“He really does, doesn’t he?”
“That’s probably my fault. I didn’t set a very good example. His mother and I both spent most of our energy on our careers when the boys were young.”
I perked up at the mention of both a young Shepherd and his mother as I stepped to the sink to wash my hands. Shepherd rarely mentioned his mom. Of course, before the night of the gala, I hadn’t known anything about his family. He kept so many things to himself.
“What was he like when he was little?”
Richard tilted his head, a wistful expression crossing his features. “He was a good kid. Got good grades, didn’t cause a lot of trouble. He was… focused. He’s a lot like his mother.”
“He must be. You two seem like night and day.”
“I suppose we are. I think he worries about turning out too much like her. I don’t want to badmouth my sons’ mom, but… Actually, she’s a cold-hearted bitch. I don’t have anything nice to say about her.” He grinned and took another drink.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Ouch. Tell me how you really feel.”
“You’ll see when you meet her. What about you? What’s your family like?”
“My parents are… well, they’re busy people. They retired and moved to Florida, but they also love to travel. They road trip around the country in their RV in the summer and go on cruises in the winter. And they always have some sort of project going on at their house. Remodeling, landscaping, gardening. I don’t think either of them knows how to sit still.”
“What about your sister? Just the one sibling?”
“Yep. Annie’s younger and basically perfect. She’s a successful CPA, married, settled. She’s very good at this whole adulting thing in ways that I’m not.”
“You seem like you’re doing just fine.”
I shrugged and started flipping the bacon. “I guess so. I like my life, but…” I trailed off because I was skirting too close to the truth, and the lie of my relationship with Shepherd. Because the truth was, I felt inadequate next to my younger sister. She’d found her person, gotten married, and was ready for a family. All things I wanted. All things I appeared to now have, but didn’t.
“Anyway,” I continued, trying to change the subject. “I think you’re right about Shepherd needing to get out. I’ll see what I can do.”
“That’s my girl.” He winked at me and rinsed his mug in the sink.
I sighed as he walked away, turning the bacon over again. The front door opened and shut—Richard leaving for his walk. My life was so weird right now.
Before I could get too lost in my feelings, I felt Shepherd’s presence behind me. I hadn’t even heard him approach, but he electrified the air, making the hair on my arms stand on end.
I glanced over my shoulder. “Hi.”
“Morning.”
His expression was disarmingly open. It was so subtle, if I hadn’t known him so well, I probably would have missed it. But there was a softness in his eyes, the hint of a smile on his lips. I could see emotion in his face, which was so rare it left me feeling a little jumpy and off-balance.
“Do you want some breakfast?” I asked, turning to face him.
That hint of a smile grew the tiniest bit. “Thanks. It smells good.”
“Ah, so it’s bacon that’ll get you to come out of your cave.”
“Bacon is very tempting.”
The way his eyes swept up and down when he said tempting sent a tingle down my spine. Great, now I was imagining things. Shepherd was not looking at me with lust in his gaze. He was here for the bacon, and it did smell good.
I quickly turned back to the pan and took the slices out, setting them on a paper towel to drain. My back prickled. Had he just stepped closer to me? Sure I was imagining things, I busied myself with laying more bacon in the pan, then washed my hands. I was almost afraid to look behind me. My heart beat faster and I had an almost uncontrollable urge to turn around and kiss him.
Focus, Everly. Breakfast.
But standing in the kitchen together with the smell of coffee and bacon in the air felt so intimate. Not in a sexual way. In a relationshippy way. Which was almost worse. This felt so natural. Like I could turn around and lean against the counter while we chatted about our upcoming week. Maybe he’d get close to me and nuzzle my neck or plant little kisses on my bare shoulder. I’d giggle and push him away, telling him I was going to burn breakfast.
My hands were still wet, but Shepherd was between me and the towel on the counter. This was so stupid. My feelings were spinning out of control and I needed to get a handle on them. Now.
I spun around, coming face to face with Shepherd. He was so close, as if he’d been inching toward me this whole time. His eyes went to my face—my mouth, to be specific. He didn’t move. Just stared at my lips.
Oh my god, this was happening. The world seemed to move in slow motion, the hiss and pop of the food on the stove fading from notice. I licked my lips—an involuntary movement—and Shepherd’s brow furrowed. I was already feeling melty inside and he hadn’t even touched me.
My lips tingled with anticipation. I lifted my chin, my heart beating fast. All the many reasons this was a terrible idea started running through my mind. But the intensity in Shepherd’s gaze silenced my thoughts.
Kiss me, Shepherd. Do it. I want you to.
His eyes widened. “Oh shit.”
He grabbed me around the waist, lifted me up and spun me around, setting me down behind him. Dizzy from the sudden movement—what had just happened?—I put a hand to my forehead and blinked.
Flames shot up from the pan. Shepherd quickly pulled a large baking sheet out of the cupboard. He put it on the pan, smothering the fire, and turned off the burner.
He whipped around. “Are you okay? Did you get burned?”
I touched the back of my hair and neck. “No, I don’t think so.”
“Let me see.”
Still disoriented, I turned so he could look at my back. “I really think I’m fine.”
“I don’t see anything.”
My back tingled with the desire for his touch. I wanted him to run a hand down my back, smoothing my shirt, making sure I was okay. But he didn’t.
“Oh no.” I turned back to the stove and waved a hand in front of my nose. The fire was out but a haze filled the air. “It smells like smoke in here. We should open a window.”
He turned on the vent fan and when he lowered his hand, I could have acted—salvaged the moment that had almost happened. I was standing so close, I could have reached out and put my hand on his chest. Slid it around to the back of his neck and whispered a thank you for saving me from being burned. Popped up on my tiptoes and kissed him.
But I didn’t. A million thoughts raced through my mind, leaving me frozen in place. I couldn’t kiss Shepherd. He was my boss. This was only for show. Just a way to keep his ex at a distance. If we kissed, it would change everything.
The openness in his expression was gone. He helped me clean up in silence. I tried to tell myself I was just glad it hadn’t set off the fire alarm or the sprinkler system. Now that would have been a real disaster. That little almost-kiss wasn’t even worth worrying about, considering I’d almost caught his condo on fire.
But that was a big fat lie. The little kitchen fire had been startling, but it hadn’t done any damage. I wasn’t so sure about that almost-kiss.
