As soon as Matthias is settled with his tablet and juice box in the back seat of the rental truck, we set off. The kid was so excited when I told him we were going on a mini vacation with Jax. He threw his arms around Jax’s neck and has had a huge smile on his face ever since. He chattered away excitedly all the way to the airport and then during the entire three-hour plane journey. He should be tired out by now but he’s still full of energy. His excitement is kind of infectious and it almost made me forget about this morning and last night
But now the feeling of dread and terror in the pit of my stomach is back. Somebody tried to kill me. If it hadn’t been for Raoul’s quick thinking, they just might have succeeded.
I glance at Matthias again and my heart aches. He’s sitting smiling at the cartoons without a care in the world, which is exactly how every four-year-old should feel, but I almost left him without a mother today and the thought of leaving him behind in this world without me is the most terrifying thing I have ever faced. I know he has family who love him. He would be taken care of by my parents, but there is no one on this earth who can love him the way that I can.
A tear runs down my cheek as I think about my own mom. She wasn’t perfect, but she tried her best. She was so worn down by her husband that she turned to pills and booze to get through the day, but I felt her love every single day she was alive. I only wish that I could have saved her. I swat the tear from my cheek before Jax sees it, but it’s too late.
His fingertips brush my cheek too.
“It’ll be okay, Luce,” he says softly. “I won’t let anyone hurt either of you.”
I turn and look at him. He is a good man. He cares for me and Matthias in his own way. I know that, but it’s not enough. It will never be enough.
“I know.” I sniff. Get a grip, Lucia! “It’s just been a weird day, that’s all. I’m fine.”
“You don’t have to pretend to be fine, Luce,” he frowns at me. “You were almost—” he doesn’t finish that sentence because of Matthias, but he doesn’t need to.
“I’m fine,” I snap at him. Being mad at him is so much easier than facing up to the truth right now. I can’t keep letting him rescue me. I can’t keep relying on him because one day he is not going to be there and it will break me. I should never have agreed to this, but it seemed like the best way to keep me and my son safe.
“We’ll be at the ranch in time for supper,” he says as he leans back in his seat.
“Okay.”
“You’ll like it there. You both will.”
“Yeah,” I mumble as I stare out of the window, wondering how long it will be before I can go home and get on with my life.
After an hour’s driving we turn down a dirt road.
“Are we there yet?” Matthias pipes up from the back seat.
“Almost, buddy,” Jax replies. “You see that huge house up ahead?”
My son leans forward, craning his neck to see out of the front window. “Yeah.”
“That’s it.”
“Wow! Did you grow up here?”
“Sure did.”
I look at the impressive house as it comes into view. It’s beautiful and the surrounding land is vast. It seems so peaceful and serene. “How do you ever leave this place?” I ask him we drive through the gates.
“I have plenty to go back to LA for,” he says with a shrug.
When the truck rolls to a stop outside the house, the screen door opens and a woman comes rushing out. She looks to be in her late-forties and has dark blonde hair tied up in a bun, tanned skin and a huge smile. Jax climbs out of the truck and she runs to him.
“Jackson,” she says, throwing her arms around him.
“Who is that, Momma?” Matthias asks.
“Let’s go find out,” I say and the two of us climb out of the truck.
As she sees us, the woman steps back from Jax and walks toward Matthias and me. “You must be Lucia and Matthias?”
I don’t even have time to answer before she pulls me into a hug too. She smells of sandalwood and fresh air and there is something comforting about her. I like her already.
“This is Aunt Molly,” Jax says as he shakes his head. “As you can see, she doesn’t get many visitors here.”
“Oh, Jackson,” Molly says dismissively.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you,” I smile. “Thank you so much for having us.”
“The pleasure is all mine, sweetheart,” she says before she crouches down to Matthias. “Do you like blueberry pie?”
Matthias grins at her. “I like any pie.”
“Then come with me. I made some special, just for you.” She holds out her hand to him and he looks up at me seeking permission to go off with this stranger.
“Go on, munchkin. I’ll get our bags.” I wink at him and he takes Molly’s hand and walks toward the house. Before they reach the door, it opens again and a huge bloodhound lumbers out and plods down the steps with his tail wagging.
“Momma,” Matthias shrieks.
Oh damn. The dog at the park the other day really freaked him out.
“Blue,” Jackson calls him and the dog pads over to him while Matthias clings to Molly’s leg.
“Come on inside. That old dog won’t hurt you,” Molly says.
“I’ll make sure he stays outside,” a deep, croaky voice adds as another figure appears in the doorway. He looks slightly older than Molly and I assume it’s her husband. He has a beard and kind eyes. Jax looks remarkably like him actually—Molly must be his aunt through marriage, then?
Molly glances back at Jax before she takes Matthias inside. Jax releases the dog’s collar and he goes off into the yard, sniffing at the floor.
“The kid’s scared of dogs,” Jax says sharply.
“I’ll make sure Blue doesn’t bother him.”
“I’m sure he’ll get used to him,” I say with a smile as I make my way to Jax’s uncle. “It’s just that—” I don’t get to finish my sentence because Jax interrupts me.
“I think it’s best if you and your dog just stay out of everyone’s way while we’re here,” he snarls.
I frown at him, wondering what the man could have possibly done to make Jax so mad at him.
His uncle nods solemnly and my heart breaks for the look of hurt on his face. “Okay, son,” he says.
“Do not call me son,” Jax snarls.
Son? This is Jax’s father? I thought he was dead? What the hell?
He winces as though he just made a huge mistake. “Of course.” He looks to the bags in the back of the truck. “You need a hand?”
“Not from you.”
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Miss.” He tips his hat and then walks down the yard after Blue.
I wait until he is out of earshot before I speak. “Jax? Is that man your father?”
“He’s the man whose DNA I share, but he has never been any kind of father,” he snaps as he grabs some of our bags. “And while we’re here, you will stay the fuck away from him. Do you understand me?”
“Yes,” I swallow because the tone of his voice tells me this is not the time for arguing or asking for an explanation.
Jax walks into the house carrying most of our bags and I grab the rest. I stop at the doorway and look back at his father. Blue rubs himself against his legs as they walk through the overgrown grass. I don’t know much about Jax’s childhood but obviously his father wasn’t around much and I wonder what their story is. He’s clearly not all bad because that dog seems to adore him, and animals are good readers of people, right?
I carry the bags inside and as I reach the door, Jax is making his way back through it. He takes the bags from my hands. “I’ll show you to your room and then Molly has supper ready.”
“Okay.” I smile at him but he’s still rattled and he doesn’t smile back.
I follow him down the hallway and up the stairs and along a huge corridor which has at least half a dozen rooms leading off it. We walk to the end before he kicks open the door. “This is your room,” he says and I walk inside. It’s beautiful. A huge floor-to-ceiling window floods the room with the light from the sunset. It has polished hardwood floors and a huge bed in the center. Jax indicates another door on the far wall. “That’s an adjoining room for Matthias,” he says.
“It’s perfect. Thank you,” I turn around and he is in the doorway, filling it as he leans against the doorframe. My breath catches in my throat at the sight.
“Where do you sleep?” I whisper and then silently admonish myself because that sounded so much more loaded than I meant it to be and now there is a tension in the room that there shouldn’t be.
He clears his throat as though he feels this too. “Across the hall.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re close by,” I say honestly.
“For anything you need, Luce,” he says and my pussy walls contract as heat flushes over my cheeks. “Molly will be waiting for us. Let’s have some supper and I’ll show you around.” He winks at me and just like that the tension is gone. He’s Jax again—my father’s best friend—and not the man who I spent one incredible, sinful night with.
After a delicious meal, I take a sleepy Matthias to bed. I smile at his beautiful face as I tuck him in. We had such a lovely time at supper. Molly is fabulous. She is funny and smart and she makes Jackson squirm when she talks about his childhood. There is a genuine love and affection between them that is wonderful to witness. His father—who I learned is Harvey, Molly’s brother—didn’t make an appearance, although I’m not surprised the way Jackson warned him off.
After closing Matthias’ door I walk back to the kitchen to find Molly and Jackson leaning against the kitchen counter sipping a beer each.
“Shannon will be here tomorrow. I hope that’s okay?” I hear Molly say before they realize I’ve come back into the room. The hairs on my neck stand on end. Who the hell is Shannon?
Jax takes a sip of his beer before he replies. “It’s fine.”
“Okay,” Molly shrugs. “Just so you’re prepared.”
“Prepared for what?” I ask with a smile as I walk toward them both.
Jax holds out a beer for me and I take it from him; my fingertips brush his hand, reminding me of the things he can do with those fingers. Stop it, Lucia!
“Well, Jax and Shannon always had kind of a thing.” Molly whispers.
“Oh?” I keep the smile plastered on my face but I don’t like the sound of this.
Jax shakes his head but he lets her go on talking.
“But now Shannon is engaged to the local veterinarian. They get married next month.”
Now this I do like the sound of. “Oh?”
“I’m just making sure Jackson here isn’t going to find it too awkward,” she winks at me.
“We were never anything serious, Molly.” He frowns at her.
“Well you and she used to hook up every time you came down here, so you know…” Molly shrugs. “I bet she’d have married you if you’d asked her.”
Wow! Now I don’t like this again and I’ve already decided that I don’t like Shannon.
“No she wouldn’t,” he shakes his head and takes another sip of his beer. “But more importantly, I don’t want to marry her.”
“Oh of course. Jackson Decker. The eternal bachelor.” She rolls her eyes but she smiles at him. “My only nephew. I have no children of my own. I will never get any babies to spoil, will I?”
“I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you.” He leans in and kisses her cheek.
“You could never be,” she chides him. “I’ll make do with my horses.”
I watch the two of them. They share such a close bond that I wonder again why Jax doesn’t spend much time here.
“You should show our guest around the place,” Molly says, “while I wash up.”
“Oh, please, let me wash up,” I insist as I take one of the plates from the counter.
“No guest of mine washes up after their supper,” she says as she slaps my hand away. “Well, at least not on their first night here.” She winks at me and I laugh.
“Come on. I’ll give you the tour,” Jax says before he finishes off the last of his beer.
I place my bottle on the counter and follow him outside. We walk through the huge yard at the front toward the stables.
“So you grew up here?” I ask.
“Yup. Until I was thirteen.”
“Why did you leave?”
He frowns and sucks on his lip.
“I’m sorry. If you’d rather I didn’t know, that’s fine.”
“It’s not that.” He shakes his head and sits down on a wooden bench.
I sit beside him. “What then?”
“I just don’t talk about it much. It hurts, you know?”
“Yep,” I agree.
“Of course you know,” he says with a soft sigh. “Being a kid sucks, right?”
“Depends,” I say. “I hope Matthias never thinks so.”
“He won’t. Because you’re an amazing mom.”
“Thank you,” I lean back on the bench and watch the sun setting over the fields. “It’s beautiful here.”
“It sure is,” he agrees. “You see that huge oak?”
“Yeah?”
He laughs. “I had my first kiss under that tree.”
“You did? With Shannon by any chance?”
“No, with Amy-Lou Wainwright.”
“Amy-Lou?” I arch an eyebrow at him.
“She had long auburn pigtails.” He shakes his head. “And the greenest eyes I’ve ever seen.”
“Where is she now?”
“I have no idea. Probably married with a dozen kids.”
“Was she just your first kiss?” I bump my shoulder against his.
“Jesus, yes! I just told you I left when I was thirteen.”
“Okay. Some people have sex that early.”
He frowns at me. “Did you?”
A memory of my thirteenth birthday almost steals the breath from my lungs. I jump up from seat. “When you said you were showing me around, I thought you meant the horses and such. Not where you and Amy-Lou got your freak on.”
He pushes himself up off the bench. “We did not get our freak on. Don’t taint the memory of my first kiss.” He pushes me gently and then walks past me toward the stables.
I admire the beautiful horses as Jax introduces me to each one by name. I’ve never seen one up close before.
“I didn’t realize they were so big,” I say as I rub the nose of Zena, one of the mares. “Is it scary to be up there riding one?”
He comes up behind me, the heat from his body makes goosebumps prickle along my forearms. “A little, if you’re not used to it, but there’s nothing else like it. I can teach you while you’re here if you like.”
“Could you? I would love that?”
“Sure,” he whispers, his face so close to me that I feel the warmth of his breath on my neck. I imagine his lips dusting over the delicate skin there and think of how good it would feel if he unzipped my jeans and slid his hand inside. We stand like that, our bodies so close together but not quite touching—hearts pounding, breathing getting deeper and faster.
“You want to meet my horse?” He steps away and walks to the next stall, breaking the spell.
“Sure,” I follow him until I come face to face with a beautiful black horse. He clearly recognizes his owner as he dips his head and rubs it over Jax’s chest, making him laugh.
“This is Bastian,” he says.
“Hey, handsome,” I say as run my hand over the silky smoothness of his neck and for a second Jax’s eyes lock on mine and there it is again. That tension that seems to follow us wherever we go.
I stare at him, licking my lips as heat pools in my core. He wants this too, I can see it, how much he’s holding himself back. He likes me to ask for what I want, right?
“Jax?” I whisper.
“Lucia,” he growls.
“Jackson!” A high pitched squeal cuts through the air making me jump and him blink in surprise.
I turn on my heel to see a tall woman wearing jeans, a tank and cowboy boots strolling toward us. She has long wavy blonde hair. Not the kind of untamed waves I have either, but those perfect beach waves that take me an hour in the salon to get. I bet she rolls out of bed looking that good.
“Hey, Shannon,” he says with a smile.
Shannon? This tanned goddess with perfect teeth and a tiny waist is Shannon. Well, of course it is.
“Harvey told me you were back. I just dropped off Blue’s ear meds so I thought I’d say hi.” She looks at the two of us as though she’s waiting for him to introduce me.
“Hi,” I say with an awkward wave.
“Shannon this is Lucia,” he says, clearing his throat.
She arches one perfect eyebrow. “Lucia?”
“Remember my friend, Alejandro? She’s his daughter. She needed out of the city for a few days,” he says. His friend’s daughter. Not his friend. Or his work colleague. Or the woman he was just about to throw on the floor and fuck until you walked in here, Shannon.
The two of them stare at each other and then at me like I’m in the way. I feel like such an idiot when I realize that I am. When will I ever learn?
“I’ll leave you two to catch up.” I wipe my hands on my jeans. “It was great to meet you, Shannon,” I lie.
Then I walk out of the stable.
“Luce,” Jax calls after me but I keep walking with my head high.
As soon as the warm evening air hits my face, I start to cry, even though I hate myself for it. He’s broken my heart for the last time. It’s my own fault. He warned me it was one night, didn’t he?
As I walk toward the house, I feel a soft wet nose at my hand and look down to see Blue at my side. He’s licking my salty tears from my fingers where I just wiped them.
I drop to my knees. “Hey, buddy,” I sniff and he licks my face too, making me smile.
“I’m sorry. Come here, boy,” Harvey says.
“It’s fine. He’s adorable,” I sniff.
“He has a sixth sense for people being upset.”
I stand and wipe my face again.
“Are you okay?” Harvey asks, his face full of concern.
No. Because your son is an ass! But of course I don’t say that. Jax has his reasons for not wanting Harvey in his life and I would never betray him like that. “I’m fine. Allergies, I think.”
“Yeah. They can get you this time of year,” he says with a wink. “Come on, boy.”
Blue wags his tail and the two of them wander off away from the house.
