I close the door to Matthias’ room and tiptoe along the hallway past my little brother’s bedroom too. The three of them are fast asleep at last—whilst I adore them all, I am looking forward to some peace and quiet.
A thrill of pleasure skitters along my spine as I remember that Jax is downstairs too. I can’t help but smile to myself at the thought of spending some time alone with him. I wonder if I can persuade him to stay for dinner. I certainly hope so. Even if he wasn’t so good to look at, he still makes the best company. He cracks me up like no one ever has before and he is such a great listener. He catches me unawares and I often forget that he is my father’s best friend. I have been guilty of pouring my broken heart out to him a few times in the past and as far as I know he has kept my secrets. It’s one of the many reasons why I love him so much.
I have had the biggest crush on him forever, but as I’ve gotten older, it’s turned into something much more, at least on my part. I find myself thinking about him often, wondering what he’s doing and who he’s with. The thought of unexpectedly bumping into him makes me feel giddy and nervous and I look forward to any time spent in his company.
I sense a shift in him too, or perhaps I want to see one so much that I am imagining it. Not that he is ever inappropriate, but sometimes I think I catch him watching me. Then whenever I look up, he looks away. He checks up on me often for my father, I know that much, and I enjoy keeping the pair of them on their toes. I smile as I recall the times I have led them to believe I have a far more interesting dating and love life than I actually do.
As I walk down the staircase, I hear the sound of the television in the den and smile. That’s a good sign that Jax is sticking around for a while. If he wasn’t, he’d be hovering around the hallway waiting for me to come downstairs so he could leave.
I walk into the den and he smiles when he sees me, that slow sexy one that makes my insides turn to jelly.
He flashes one eyebrow at me. “The last little monster finally asleep?”
“Yes,” I say with an exaggerated sigh as I flop down onto the sofa next to him.
“I assumed you’d be hungry. I ordered us some pizza.”
“Oh, you’re a mind reader,” I giggle “I would sell one of my kidneys for a huge slice of pepperoni right now.”
“Steady on, wildcat. No need for that. It will be here in ten minutes,” he laughs.
An hour later, Jax and I are sitting on the floor surrounded by the remnants of two large pizzas. I rub a hand over my stomach and groan loudly. “You shouldn’t have let me eat so much.”
He laughs and shakes his head. “Are you kidding me? One thing I have learned in all of my years on this earth is to never come between a hungry woman and her food.”
“Well, you do study the opposite sex extensively.” I arch an eyebrow at him.
He narrows his eyes at me. “I do?”
“From what I’ve seen, Jackson Decker, you must have screwed your way through the entire state by now?”
“Lucia,” he warns me but there is a mischievous twinkle in his eye.
“Anyone special right now?” I ask before I take a sip of the soda beside me.
“They are all special to me.” He winks and my internal organs turn to molten lava.
I roll my eyes to disguise the fact that I want to jump his bones. “Such a smooth talker.”
“How about you? Anyone special?”
“You tell me, Mr. Decker.” I grin at him, my head tilted as I challenge him to answer. I know that he vets every single man I have ever dated, had sex with, or shown any modicum of interest in. I became aware of this fact in my second trimester of college and ever since then, I have taken great delight in dropping various names into conversations to send Jax chasing false leads and dead end trails.
“Well, not Jordan.”
“Nope.” I smile. Jordan was in my economics class at UCLA. I did enjoy talking to my papi about how smart and fun Jordan was to hang out with. I did neglect to mention she is a single mom of three kids who still likes to hook up with her ex-husband occasionally; I might have let him assume that she was a college frat boy.
“Not Dolly-douche-face either?”
I almost snort soda from my nose. “You mean Dolos?”
“Dolos. Douche-face. All the same to me. Who calls their kid Dolos anyway?” he frowns.
“It’s not his real name. It’s his gamer name. Dolos was a Greek god.”
“Yeah. But of all the amazing Greek gods there are, why the hell would you call yourself after the god of trickery and manipulation?”
I blink at him. He knows Greek mythology too? Of course he does. Jax is the smartest man I’ve ever met. Could he be any more perfect? He stares at me and I realize I haven’t answered his question. “Well it kinds of fits his gamer persona. And isn’t most people’s online presence all about deception and trickery?”
“You like him?” He narrows his eyes at me.
“Not like that. He’s smart though and fun to hang out with,” I shrug. Dolos is a huge gamer and has zero interest in me that way. In fact, if a woman isn’t pixelated, then he doesn’t even notice her. “Which Greek god would you be? Zeus I suppose?”
He winks. “No. Heracles, obviously.”
“Ah, of course.” I smile at him.
“And you’re definitely not dating Archer?” Jax fakes a scowl when he says his name.
“Nope. He would be more interested in you than me.”
“Yeah, I kinda got that.” He chuckles softly and I wish I could have been a fly on the wall during that particular interaction. Archer Henderson is one of my best friends from college, and he is fun and smart and sexy as hell, but he is only interested in guys.
“You should be flattered. Archer is hot.” I grin at him. “And he usually only goes for other young hot guys too.”
Jax is taking a swig of his Coke and he almost spits it back out of his mouth as he laughs. “You saying I’m not young and hot?”
“Hmm.” I bite on my lip as I consider him. “I mean for an old dude, I guess you could say you’re handsome.”
“Handsome?” He shakes his head. “I’ll have you know, I am in my prime, Lucia Montoya.”
Damn right you are! “Well, that’s certainly open to debate,” I say instead and he laughs softly before taking another drink and leaning back against the sofa.
“You remember the very first time I met you, you bought me pizza?”
“I do,” he replies with a nod. “I remember when you came into the hallway and gave me the stink eye. You looked me up and down like I was a vacuum salesman.”
I laugh out loud at that. “I did not.”
“You did,” he laughs too. “I thought you were a spoiled brat. Standing there with your hand on your hip while you decided whether I was worth your time.”
“Well, lucky for you, I decided that you were, isn’t it?” I pull a face at him.
“Hmm. When I came here looking for Alejandro, I didn’t expect to find some pregnant kid here instead.”
For some reason the way he says that makes emotion well up from my chest and into my throat.
“Shit, Luce,” he says with a frown. “I didn’t mean anything by that.”
I shrug. “It’s fine. I was just a pregnant kid.” I shrug.
“You were never just anything. I’m an asshole though.”
“You’re not.” I shake my head. “It just hurts to think about who I was back then, you know?”
He stares at me but he doesn’t speak, allowing me to go on talking without feeling the need to interrupt or make me feel better.
“I was so messed up. I can hardly believe it was just four years ago. Sometimes if feels like it was yesterday and sometimes it feels like it was another lifetime and she was a different person. Does that sound crazy?”
“Not at all.”
“I worry that I’ll wake up one day and it will all go away. Like it won’t have really happened or I don’t really deserve it. I mean what happened to me is kind of a fairytale, right? Having Alejandro and Alana adopt me. So, why me?” I feel a tear running down my cheek and wipe it away quickly. I hate crying.
Jax shuffles across the hardwood floor until he is sitting close to me. “You went through enough shit to last four lifetimes before you wound up here, Luce. You deserve nothing but happiness. And they adopted you because you were an amazing kid.” He bumps his shoulder against mine.
I turn and look at him. “Thanks.”
He stares into my eyes. “You’re still pretty amazing now,” he whispers and something passes between us that makes the wet heat pool between my thighs. Surely I am imagining this and he’s not looking at me like that? I have wanted this for so long, I’m seeing things that aren’t really there.
Electricity crackles between us as I stare back at him and for a heart-stopping moment, I think he’s going to kiss me. His head dips forward, so close that I smell his incredible cologne. His breath skitters over my cheek and I hold mine in anticipation.
“Momma!” An ear splitting screech fills the room and my heart starts again as though I’ve been hit with a defibrillator. “Momma!”
“Matthias.” I jump to my feet and race out of the room with Jax close on my heels. One of my father’s armed guards is standing in the hallway with his weapon drawn and an anxious look on his face. There is always at least one of them in this house, but they have developed the unique skill of being able to live in the shadows, so much so, that I often forget they are there. I recognize this one though because he has been assigned to protect me many times before.
“It’s okay, Enrico. He has nightmares sometimes,” I say as I place a hand on his arm and he holsters his weapon before I run up the stairs to my son, taking them two at a time.
As I run into Matthias’ room, he continues to shout and scream, his body twisted in the covers as he thrashes on the bed. I sit beside him and pull him into my arms. His body is damp with sweat.
“Momma,” he whimpers.
“I know, munchkin. I’m right here,” I soothe as I stroke his hair.
Jax looks at us both, his face full of concern.
“He has night terrors sometimes,” I whisper. “Although he hasn’t had any for a while.”
“Oh,” Jax frowns, “poor kid.”
“He’ll be fine. He doesn’t even remember them in the morning. Could you fetch me some clean pajamas? They’re in the dresser.”
“Sure.” Jax nods and walks across the room to the dresser while I start to peel Matthias’ damp clothes from his body. He is completely relaxed now, while still sleepy and he smiles at Jax as he walks back toward us.
“I chose the dinosaur ones,” Jax says.
“Cool.” Matthias smiles sleepily as he looks up at the man standing in front of him. He adores Jax. They talk about dinosaurs and superheroes and boy stuff that I have no interest in. Matthias spends a lot of time with my father and they have a beautiful relationship. He is so close in age to my little brothers that I never worry about him not having enough male influences in his life, but seeing him with Jax makes me feel guilty that his father isn’t around.
Jax would be an amazing dad. Despite who he is and the role he plays in my father’s organization, he has endless patience when it comes to the people he cares about. I suppose I am fortunate that my son and I are some of the few lucky people to be in that particular club, and I should be thankful for that. So why does it feel like it’s no longer enough? Why can’t I stop wanting more from him?
“Can you check on the twins for me?” I ask. There isn’t a sound coming from next door and my little brothers could sleep through an earthquake, but Matthias’ screams were pretty loud.
“Sure,” he says as he ruffles Matthias’ hair. “Night, buddy.”
My son yawns. “Night, Jax.”
I watch Jax walk out of the room and turn my attention back to my little boy. He looks up at me, his dark brown eyes wide and full of innocence and my heart almost bursts with a rush of pure love for him. His father, Blake, might have been a Grade A asshole, but I am thankful that he gave me the most precious thing in the world.
Iwalk back into the den and Jax is on his feet pacing the hardwood floor, a signal that he is waiting to leave. “Is he okay?” he asks.
“Yes. He’s sound asleep again now.”
“Good.” He nods. He fidgets as he stands there staring at me and then he stuffs the pockets of his jeans.
“Were the twins okay?” I ask.
“Fine. Still sound asleep too.”
“Thank you for your help.”
“Any time. You know that,” he replies, his voice suddenly thick with emotion.
“Are you going somewhere?”
“No. Yes,” he stammers. “I need to leave, but I didn’t want to just take off without saying goodbye.”
“Oh, okay.” I try to hide my disappointment but I obviously don’t do a very good job.
“Don’t look at me like that, Lucia,” he sighs.
“Like what?”
“Like I just told you your puppy has died or something.”
“I don’t have a puppy.”
“You know what I mean.” He grabs his coat from the back of the sofa and shrugs it on.
“Thank you for the pizza. How much do I owe you?” I ask, unable to keep the sarcasm from my voice. But I’m not a kid anymore. He doesn’t have to buy me pizza. I can afford my own.
He rolls his eyes and walks toward me. “I’m sorry about before. I should never have let that happen.”
“Nothing happened, Jax. Did it?”
“No,” he whispers as he looks down at me with those goddamn twinkly dark eyes. “But I…”
“You what?” I fold my arms over my chest as I glare at him.
“I like spending time with you, Lucia, but I don’t want to give you the wrong idea.”
I can’t help but scowl at him. I hate when he treats me like a child. “And what idea would that be?”
He runs a hand through his thick hair and his Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he swallows hard. He looks so uncomfortable and it makes me wonder what the hell happened earlier. Was it me who leaned in to him for a kiss, because it sure as hell felt like it was the other way around. “I would never betray your father.”
“Nobody is asking you to.”
He nods. “Night, Lucia,” he growls before turning on his heel and walking out of the room.
A few seconds later, I hear the front door closing behind him and my heart sinks in my chest. I look around the huge den and have never felt so lonely.
The sound of my phone vibrating on the coffee table distracts me. I always keep it on silent and I groan inwardly as I see the notification from the social media app. I don’t do a lot of social media. My parents have drummed the need to be careful of revealing too much information about myself online, given who our family are and the enemies we have because of that. But I am on one app. I use a fake name, Chica21 and an avatar as my profile pic and there’s nothing personal about me on there. I use it to watch videos of cute dogs, follow my friend Archer’s band and find parenting hacks mostly, but there is this one douchebag who continues to message me on there.
I have blocked his account at least a dozen times, but he just makes a new one and finds me again. It’s become like a game to him now. At first it was just those stupid messages fishing for a conversation or a quick hookup. But they seem to be getting more sinister, like I’m really annoying him that I don’t want to engage with him. As though I have the time to chat to random strangers on the internet.
I swipe the app open and read the message request from user10987636565—I mean couldn’t he try and be a little more original?
It’s me, chica. You can’t get rid of me that easily.
I delete the request without responding. Douchebag!
Maybe I should mention it to Jax and see if there is a way to permanently block the guy, but I know he’ll tell me to delete my account. And it’s not like this guy actually knows anything about me—he’s just annoying.
I toss my cell onto the sofa and sigh before walking to the bookshelves and picking up my mom’s kindle. I open it up and browse through her latest downloads.
TL Swan’s new release. Nice!
And my mom’s already read it. Naughty!
I suppose book-boyfriends are the best kind, right?
