“You aren’t really going to go,” Olivia said, taking a seat on my bed and folding her legs gracefully under her. I was a little jealous of how smoothly her dancer’s body made her every movement.
She looked out of place amongst my shabby bargain-store possessions. Her own room, while not much larger, was decorated in shades of pale pink. There were even framed pictures on her walls and curtains on the window. I’d never bothered with my own space. My bedroom had no windows. It was just four boring walls. No pictures. No matching pink bedding set. It was just a place to keep my things. With the hours I usually kept, I’d insisted the others take the rooms with views of the outside world. But now, my room felt much smaller than it had before. It felt like a cage I’d been trapped in, and I was on the verge of breaking free.
“Of course, I am.” I continued riffling through my drawers, looking for anything that felt even remotely sophisticated enough for a trip to Paris. I wasn’t having much luck.
“What about your mom? School? The fellowship?” Olivia demanded. “I can’t believe I’m the one saying this to you, but you can’t just skip out on your whole life for some guy.”
What she meant was that this was usually my job. I was the one talking Olivia down from following some random producer to Los Angeles or making Tanner actually leave the apartment during daylight hours. I went to class. I rehearsed constantly. I never missed one of my mom’s chemo appointments. Until earlier today, I’d even had a job on top of all of that.
“Thea, what’s going on?” she pressed, and I realized I’d been caught up in my own thoughts. “He can’t be that good in bed. Maybe it’s just because he’s your first…”
I whirled around, a bunch of panties in my hands, and gawked at her. “You think I slept with him?”
My roommate knew I was a virgin. She’d spent the better part of a few years trying to help me drop the label.
“I don’t know!” She threw her hands in the air. “You’re acting crazy, and you didn’t come home the other night.”
Both were good points. “Do you really think I would finally sleep with someone and not tell you?”
“I don’t know what’s going on with you,” she said softly.
I stopped stuffing clothes into my old suitcase and sighed. But before I could figure out what to tell Olivia, my phone began to ring. I checked the screen and put it back down. I could only deal with one disappointed person in my life right now.
“What do you want to know?” I asked, abandoning my crappy packing job and joining her on the other end of the bed.
“So you haven’t slept with him, but…” she trailed off with a wicked grin.
“We’ve kissed.” I didn’t really have words to describe the other things we’d done. At least, none I could imagine saying aloud.
“Kissed?” she repeated with downturned lips. “Tell me that you aren’t blowing up your whole life for some rich guy you’ve only kissed.”
“And some other stuff,” I said.
“Thea!” Olivia grabbed a pillow and whacked me with it. “Stop being so shy. Has he gone down on you?”
“Yes,” I said, starting to flush. That inevitably reminded me of the last time my cheeks had been this hot, and I blushed even harder.
“Ohhhh! And he must have been good at it since you’re following him all the way to Paris for more,” she teased. She waited a moment before her next question. “And what about you? Have you given him a–”
“Yes,” I cut her off.
“Impressive.” She nodded her head like she was an expert on the subject. “You must be really good at it if he’s taking you to Paris.”
“It’s not just about sex,” I told her. I took a deep breath and admitted the truth I’d been keeping secret–even from myself. “I really like him.”
“I hope so.” She rolled her eyes. “That’s a long flight to take with someone you don’t like.”
“Olivia,” I said her name forcefully enough that she fell silent, “I really like him. I might…” But even though the right word was there on the tip of my tongue, I couldn’t actually say it.
“You are not in love with him!” She jumped off the bed. “Reality check! You’ve known him a couple days. You’ve only been on one real date.”
“You said it yourself. I’m acting crazy,” I muttered and got up to finish packing.
But Olivia swiped my bag and held it over her head like a hostage. “You can’t go. I won’t let you. You have worked way too hard to just drop everything for some guy no matter the quality of the orgasms he delivers.”
“That’s not what this is about,” I said hotly. The phone rang again.
“Is that your mom?” She pointed to it. “Does she know what the hell is going on?”
“I’m talking to her lat–”
Olivia dropped my bag and grabbed the phone.
“Don’t answer that,” I hissed, but it was too late.
“Hello?” she answered. After a second, she nodded. “No, she’s right here.” Olivia stretched the phone out to me with a haughty frown. “It’s for you.”
I narrowed my eyes at her and grabbed the phone. “Hello?”
“Thea?” A worried voice responded. “It’s Professor MacLeod. I just received a notice that you are dropping your coursework for the semester. Is everything okay? Is your mother…?”
“Everything’s fine,” I said, closing my eyes. I should have known it wouldn’t be as easy as walking into the registrar and telling them I needed to take leave for the rest of the year. “I had an opportunity I couldn’t pass up. I’ll be back next fall.”
Olivia’s mouth dropped open. I hadn’t gotten around to telling her this bit yet. I might as well do it now. That way, if she killed me, Professor MacLeod would be able to testify in her murder trial.
“A year? But Thea, I have to tell you–you were the department’s best candidate for the Reed Fellowship.”
Tears formed a lump in my throat, and I turned away so Olivia wouldn’t see. I hadn’t expected him to say that. MacLeod was a hard-ass on a good day. He’d always been tough but fair. The idea of him tipping his hand was hard to process. “I was offered a job,” I told him quietly. “It’s going to allow me to pay off my mother’s medical debt.”
Silence stretched across the line and in my bedroom. Neither MacLeod nor Olivia seemed to know what to say. After a moment, I heard him clear his throat. “Are you certain that’s what your mother would want? I don’t think she would want you to give up your music, even for that.”
He was right. That’s exactly why I hadn’t found the courage to tell her yet.
“It doesn’t matter what she wants,” I said resolutely. “It’s what I want. I understand if this means I can’t return to the program.”
“Of course, you can return,” he said gruffly. “I just hate to see you waste time.”
“Thank you for your concern,” I said. “I have to go, though.”
“If anything changes…” I hung up, somehow feeling better and worse at the same time. I knew I was right. This was my life, and only I could choose how to spend my time. But that didn’t mean MacLeod’s shock and disappointment didn’t sting. It was only going to be worse when I finally told my mom.
Turning, I found Olivia had sat back down on the edge of the bed. There was no indignation or amusement on her face now. Instead, she looked lost in her own thoughts.
“What?” I demanded. “Go on. I know you have something to say about this.”
She took a deep breath and turned worried eyes on me. “Thea, are you an escort?”
“What?” I burst out laughing before she could repeat herself. “Why would you think that?”
“You just said you’re leaving for a job that’s going to pay off your mom’s bills–and I know how much those bills are,” she reminded me.
Olivia held me through many long nights when things didn’t look good for Mom. She had seen the bills. She knew why I was working at the restaurant and playing with the quartet. I refused to take out more student loans in addition to what we already owed.
“I’m not an escort. Promise.” I drew a cross over my chest with an index finger.
“Then which is it? Are you running away with your boyfriend, or are you being paid to go with him and, you know…”
“Julian is my boyfriend.” I swallowed at the funny taste the word left on my tongue. I hadn’t really called him that much. “But when he asked me to travel with him on business, I told him I couldn’t because I needed to finish school and get a better job to pay the bills. He offered to pay the bills so I could take a year off.”
“You’re going to let some guy that you’ve known less than a week pay off hundreds of thousands in medical debts?” she shouted.
“He’s rich,” I reminded her. “That kind of money is nothing to him, but it’s everything to me. I won’t have to wait tables or take another job when I graduate. I can just focus on finding a chair with a symphony!”
Olivia clamped her mouth closed, and I braced myself for another eruption. Instead, to my surprise, she shrugged. “You’re right.”
“What?” I hadn’t heard her correctly.
“You’re right. He’s a billionaire. He could probably pay our rent with his pocket change.” She stopped and leveled a serious look at me. “But have you done a background check? Are you sure he’s legit? I don’t want to get a call that I have to come go all Liam Neeson on some pervert’s ass because you’re kidnapped.”
I tried to stop myself from giggling at the idea of Olivia rescuing me from a shadowy cartel, but I couldn’t.
“I’m not joking.” She stuck her lower lip out in a pout. “What if you’re wrong about him?”
There were so many things I wish I could tell her about Julian. If she only knew how strict his boundaries were, she would be packing my bags herself. But I couldn’t drag her into this world.
I hadn’t been given a choice. I wouldn’t let the same thing happen to my friend. There was only one thing I could do. Sitting down next to her, I put one hand on top of hers.
“I’m not wrong,” I murmured. “I wish I could explain it. I just know.”
“That he’s not going to dump you in Paris?” she asked flatly. “That he’s not going to hurt you?”
A chill ran up my spine like an icy fingertip, but I forced a smile. “You’ve got to trust me. I know what I’m doing.” I bumped my shoulder against hers. “I’m still the same Thea who thinks everything through before she does it. I’m just a little more…”
“Slutty?” she offered, unable to hide her grin.
My own mouth twisted in bemusement. “I was going to say worldly.”
“Fine.” She stood up and pointed to my phone. “Now call your mom.”
“I will.”
She peeked into the bag on the floor. “You aren’t going to Paris with a billionaire and wearing this stuff, right?”
I leaned down and zipped it close. “Thanks for the tip.”
“Of course, you’ll probably be naked the whole time.” She clutched her chest dramatically. “Who needs clothes?”
I wished that were true. Then again, after getting a taste of how vampires socialized, she might be right. I made a mental note to ask Julian exactly what I needed to pack again.
“What time do you leave?”
“He’s picking me up in the morning,” I told her.
“Okay, let me get a hug now.” She threw her arms around me with the passion of someone saying goodbye for much longer than a week or two. “Don’t get kidnapped or murdered. And whatever you do, don’t get pregnant!”
“I won’t!” I said, laughing.
She shot me a look as she pulled away. “I’m serious. No glove, no love.”
“Promise,” I said. If Olivia only knew the truth…
Maybe I was crazy. Maybe agreeing to drop everything and get on a plane to Paris was a bad idea. But at least I didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant.
