The smells and giggles coming from the kitchen wake me up far earlier than I’d like. Merlin seems to agree with the way he darts underneath the bed at the sound of a pot clanging, leaving me alone.
I stumble out of my room while rubbing my eyes. “Hey.”
“Morning!” Cami hops off her stool to come give my legs a hug. Her polka dot apron is covered in the same sticky red substance as her fingers, leaving a nice smear on my sweatpants. Red, white, and blue star clips hold back her wild hair from her face.
“What’s going on?” I cover my mouth to yawn.
“Mommy is going to beat Missy’s butt.” Cami holds out her fist for me to pound.
Lana shoots Cami a glare from over her shoulder. “Camila.”
The kid shrugs. “What did I say?”
“I told you not to repeat that to anyone.”
“Oopsy daisy.” Cami pokes her tongue out of the gap between her teeth.
“Who’s Missy?” I ask.
Lana returns her attention to the stovetop. “My competition.”
“Boo!” Cami makes a big show of turning down her thumbs.
I choke on a laugh. “Competition for what?”
“The Fourth of July bake-off,” Cami answers for her while stealing a strawberry from a large bowl. “Are you coming?”
Shit. I completely forgot the bake-off was still a thing. It’s been a long time since I celebrated Fourth of July the Lake Wisteria way, with the town gathering at the lakeside park for a barbeque and firework show.
I run a hand through my messy hair. “I don’t think so.” If I learned anything from last week’s Strawberry Festival, it’s that spending time around the town only amplifies my anxiety. So, the only way I can limit my alcohol intake and keep Lana happy is if I avoid stressors.
“Oh.” Cami’s shoulders drop.
Sorry, kiddo. This is for the best.
I walk to the stove and peek over Lana’s shoulder. “What are you making?”
She drops a single dot of red food coloring into the pot of strawberries. “Something that is going to make Missy regret ever thinking she could copy my strawberry tres leches cake recipe and get away with it.”
My mouth drops open. Damn, competitive Lana is hot as hell.
“Do you need any help?” I tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, making sure to drag my fingers over the curved slope of her neck before retreating.
Her stirring pauses as her breath hitches. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m almost done.”
“How long have you been at this?” I fill a glass with water and take a sip.
“Five a.m.”
“Seriously? You’re going to fall asleep before you ever make it to the bake-off.”
She shoots me a pointed look. “I can sleep when I’m dead.”
“Would you like to be buried with your trophy?”
She grins. “Absolutely. That and whatever tissue Missy uses to wipe her tears after she loses.”
“This side of you is hot yet somewhat terrifying.”
Her smile is all teeth.
Although Lana said she didn’t need my assistance, I decide to help with the overwhelming number of dishes pouring out of the sink.
Cami keeps the conversation going while stealing strawberries whenever she thinks Lana isn’t looking. The red fruit juice around her mouth is a dead giveaway, so I clean her up while her mother has her back turned.
The doorbell ringing has the three of us looking up.
“We have a doorbell?” Lana pauses her mixer.
“That’s the first time I’ve heard it. Are you expecting someone?” I ask.
She shakes her head. “No. Are you?”
“A majority of the town hates me, so I’m going to go with a no.”
Lana looks down at her half-mixed whipped cream. “Do you mind checking who it is?”
“I got it!” Cami hops off her stool.
“Camila!” Lana rounds the corner, but I’m closer.
Cami rises on the tips of her toes to reach the deadbolt, only to be swept into my arms.
“I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”
Cami pouts.
I take a peek through the peephole. Lana’s sister, Antonella, paces a few feet away. Her tan skin looks paler than usual, and her thin hair hangs limply around her face, accentuating a sharp bone structure that can only be achieved by malnutrition.
“Shit.”
Cami sucks in a breath.
I put her down. “My wallet is on my nightstand. If you count all my bills correctly, I’ll let you keep them all.”
Her eyes widen. “Really?”
“Yup. But you have to stay in my room until I come and get you.”
“Okay!” Cami squeals as she takes off for my bedroom.
Lana abandons her whipping cream. “What’s wrong?”
“Your sister is outside.”
Lana’s mouth drops open. “Antonella is here?” Her face pales. “Oh my God.”
“You didn’t know she was coming.”
Her head shakes. “No. I thought I made myself clear during our last phone call.”
“Do you want me to see what she wants?”
Her hardened gaze lingers on the door. “I already know what she came here for.”
My brows tug together. “But—”
Her shoulders slump. “Let me go talk to her.”
I step in her way. “Lana.”
She doesn’t look up at me, so I tip her head back.
“Do you want to speak with her?”
Her head shakes ever so slightly. “Not really after she…”
“After she what?”
“Took the last bit of inheritance money I had.”
Fuck. “She stole from you?”
Her eyes drop. “Yes.”
“Is that why she’s back? To get more money?”
“Probably.”
“Do you want me to give her some?”
Her teeth sink into her bottom lip as she shakes her head again.
“What do you want to do then?”
“I don’t know. After the way she talked to me on the phone… I hate seeing her that way. I hate it so damn much, knowing she is struggling and there is nothing I can do to make it better.” Her voice cracks.
My heart feels like Lana wrapped her fist around it and squeezed. “You’ve done everything possible to help her.”
“Then why isn’t it enough to help her stay clean? I’ve done everything. Paying, praying, pleading, yet she always goes back.” There is a sheen to her eyes that wasn’t present before.
“It has nothing to do with you.” I wrap my arms around her.
She places her head against my chest with a sniffle. “I’m so freaking tired of people hurting me.”
The tightness in my chest becomes unbearable. “I’m sorry.” For me. For Anto. And for everyone who has caused her pain in the first place.
The doorbell rings again, followed by hard pounding. Lana flinches against me.
I kiss the top of her head. “Let me go talk to her.”
“But—”
“Just allow me to do this for you.”
She sighs as I release my hold around her body.
“Stay inside.” I reach for the doorknob.
“Cal?”
I glance at her from over my shoulder.
She twists the fabric of her apron. “Thank you.”
“I’d do anything for you.”
Her bottom lip wobbles. “I know.”
I tip my head before walking outside. Antonella tugs at the sleeves of her long-sleeve shirt as if it can hide the track marks speckled across her skin. She looks thinner than ever, with her bones jutting out from underneath her shirt and her brown eyes nearly bugling from their sockets.
“What the hell are you doing here?” she snaps.
“Antonella. It’s been a while.”
She sneers. “Don’t tell me my little sister took you back.”
“That’s none of your business.”
“Like hell it isn’t.” She tries to walk around me, but I block her path.
“Get out of my way.” She speaks through clenched teeth.
“No.”
“I need to speak with Alana.”
I give my head a hard shake. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Because you said so?” Her frown deepens.
“Because you’re strung out.”
Staring into her beady eyes feels like I’ve been thrown back into the past. If anyone understands Antonella’s desperation for her next fix, it’s me. Going through my own shit made me aware of the darkness and self-loathing that fester right below the surface, waiting to be unleashed.
“Like you’re one to judge. Lana told me all about your issue with Oxy. It nearly broke my sister when she realized the man she loved let her down just like everyone else.”
Her blow lands its intended mark right over my heart.
You’re not that guy anymore.
I switch tactics before I lose my cool. “I can get you the help you need.”
There is a certain spark in her eyes. “Like money?”
“Like rehab, therapy, and whatever you need to have a clean start.” I tuck my hands into the pockets of my sweats.
Her head shakes. “I just wanted a place to stay and some money to get back on my feet.”
“I can head over to the motel and book you a room or I can fly you out to a facility and cover the cost, but I’m not going to give you cash.” Doing so would only enable her addiction and hurt Lana even more, neither of which I find acceptable.
Her head shakes, making her thin hair fly. “I don’t want to go to a facility again.”
I check out the marks across her arms. “That’s the only way you’ll be able to manage that.”
She pulls at her sleeves again.
I try one last time. “If you decide differently, all you need to do is give me a call and I can take you somewhere where they can help you get better. I haven’t changed my number.”
Her head shakes. “I’m not ready.”
“I understand.” Far more than I’m comfortable acknowledging. As much as I hate to admit it, I get Antonella and her decisions in a way Lana never can. Having an addiction isn’t easy to accept, let alone treat.
“If you understood me, then you’d help me.” Her pitch rises, reminding me so much of Lana when she gets upset.
“I am offering to help. Just not in the way you want.”
Her gaze hardens. “Fuck you, Cal.”
My lips press together.
She rips at her cuticle, making the skin bleed. “Just let me see my sister. I… Shit.” Her head hangs. “The last time I was here, I did some screwed-up things and I want to apologize.”
“Not like this, Antonella. You of all people should know how much it hurts her to see you this way.”
She looks away. “Fine.”
“Do you want me to book you a room at the motel?”
“Hell no. I’m going to crash on a friend’s couch who lives a few towns over.” Her hair flies from how hard she shakes her head.
“If that’s what you want. Just know that I meant what I said. If you need help, all you need to do is call me. But if you come back here again without being clean, I’ll make sure you never see your sister again.”
She turns toward her rundown car packed to the roof with boxes and personal belongings. It’s sad to see the mess her life has become.
I wish I could help her, but I need to protect Lana first and foremost.
I check on Cami before knocking my fist against the locked bathroom door. “Lana?”
“Is she gone?”
“Yeah. I waited until her car drove off before coming back inside.”
“Thank you.” Her sniffle is soft but audible, making my muscles tighten.
My hand chokes the doorknob. “Open up for me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“Please.”
Her heavy sigh is followed by the flick of the lock. I open the door to find Lana sitting on the floor with her arms wrapped around her legs.
“Hey.” I kneel beside her and pull her into my arms. “It’s going to be okay.”
“I thought I would be used to this by now.” Her fingers wrap around the cotton fabric of my shirt.
“Used to what?”
“The disappointment.” Her chin trembles.
“I’m sorry.” The words leave my mouth in a rush.
She shifts her gaze to the floor. “It’s not your fault Antonella is the way she is.”
“No, it’s not. But I’m sorry for being another person who let you down because I was too selfish to do anything else.”
Some of the tension bleeds from her muscles as she releases a heavy sigh.
“Seeing your sister…shit. I understand her and where she is coming from, but I also want to shake her for hurting you and Cami like she has.”
Her nails dig into my skin. “Does being grateful that she gave Cami up make me a bad person?”
“No, Lana. It makes you human.” My arms around her tighten. “Antonella is in no position to look after a child. And you… You were born to be that little girl’s mother.”
She looks up at me with tear-soaked lashes and glassy eyes. “You think so?”
“I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
