I stare at Cal, processing everything he said. I’ve never had anyone speak about Cami and me the way he does. His words make my eyes water, the tears from before threatening to come back with a vengeance.
You and Cami aren’t a deal. You two are a lottery jackpot, and it’s time someone treated you both that way.
My whole heart feels impossibly full and ready to burst. I want to believe what Cal says. That he will get better. But I can’t deny the tiny shred of doubt worming its way through my happiness, threatening to poison it with my worries.
As if he senses my thoughts, Cal tucks his fingers under my chin and lifts my head. “I know you don’t trust me. Not fully at least, and I don’t blame you one bit. So, push me away. Get mad at me for drinking. Ice me out because you’re afraid of letting me in again. Do whatever makes you feel safe, happy, and in control.
“But just know that whatever you do won’t change the fact that I will keep fighting for us and the future I know we can have. The one we deserve to have. Whatever you do won’t stop me from getting help. Just like it won’t stop me from wanting to be a part of Cami’s life in whatever way I can, even if we aren’t together. From—”
That’s it.
Watching Cal love my kid to the point of wanting to stay in her life regardless of our relationship status is enough to snap the last bit of restraint I have.
I cut him off with a searing kiss. A kiss I pour all my feelings into. Excitement. Fear. Adoration.
Cal matches my desperation, his lips teasing me until I’m wild for more. A tingle spreads down my spine as he slides his fingers through my hair and tugs me closer. His lips press against mine and match my pace, turning my world upside down from all the different sensations overwhelming me.
Everything about our kiss is amplified as we reacquaint ourselves with what we like.
The brush of his tongue against mine, light and teasing.
My lips ripping away from his solely so I can pull his shirt over his head and run my hands down his chest.
His stubble scraping against my neck as he sucks on the sensitive skin below my ear, bruising it with the harsh pull of his mouth.
At one point, he lifts me up and carries me to the bed without breaking our kiss. I straddle his thighs and deepen it. One quick grind of my hips against his straining erection causes him to release the sweetest groan, and I soak it up, drowning the sound with my lips.
He only breaks contact for a moment to remove my sleep shirt from over my head. His hands never stay in one place for too long. They glide over my body, teasing and touching until I’m grinding against his thick length in a frantic search for release.
Desperation for more of Cal makes me impatient. The combination of my body pressing against his and my random burst of strength throws him off-balance, and he falls backward, taking me with him.
Our lips break apart, and I pepper his jawline with soft, quick kisses.
“Lana,” Cal moans.
I shift my attention to his neck. My lips trail down the curve, sucking and nipping at his skin until his fingers dig into my ass. The bite of pain is intoxicating. Thrilling. Addictive.
He threads his fingers into my hair and holds me in place.
“What?” I suck harder, marking his neck with the memory of me.
“Hold on a second.” He tugs on the strands, pulling me away from his skin.
“Why?” I whine. “Do you want me to stop?”
He shudders beneath me. “Fuck no, but I want to make something clear.”
“What?” My eyelids shut with a sigh.
He squeezes the back of my neck. “Are you sure you want to do this?”
I roll my body over his and press down hard against his thick length. “Does that clarify your question?”
“I want to hear it.” He presses his hands into my ass, trapping me on top of his erection.
Heat pools in my lower belly. “Yes. We’re doing this. But if you screw up—”
One moment, I’m on top, but in a single second, I find myself with my back pressed against the mattress and Cal looming above me, his gaze wild with hunger.
A hunger for me.
“Screwing up is inevitable, but I promise to make it up to you every single time.” He tugs my underwear down my legs.
“How so?”
“Like this.” He rips my thighs apart before trailing the sensitive flesh with light pecks. Slowly, he kisses his way toward the area begging for his attention, only to retreat. His mouth returns to my other thigh, repeating the same torture all over again.
I shimmy my body closer to his mouth, only to earn a low chuckle.
“I’m not about to rush this when I have six years to make up for, Lana.”
“Make up for it later,” I groan.
He traces a path from my clit to the place desperate to be filled. His tongue sinks inside, teasing, taunting, and testing how my body responds. Whenever I react a certain way, he repeats the same move before attempting something else.
My entire body feels like it is being engulfed in flames.
The world explodes around me as Cal amplifies the pressure building inside me with a few flicks of his tongue. I reach down, desperate for some kind of release. My attempt is cut off the moment I touch my clit. Cal slaps my pussy.
I gasp.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He teases my clit with a quick flick of his tongue. It rolls over the sensitive bump, sending a pulsing wave of pleasure through me.
“Making myself come since you’re not up for the task.”
“The only one making you come is me.” His eyes sparkle as he looks up at me, his stubble shining with my arousal. “Touch yourself again and I’ll find a better way to keep your hands occupied.”
His threat makes my toes curl and my heart pound. My body tightens, the urge to defy him driving me mad.
All it takes is one single pinch of my nipple to send him reeling.
Cal all but drags me off the bed and on to my knees. The carpet burns my skin, but the sting of pain is only temporary compared to the heat rolling through me as Cal pinches the same nipple I touched.
“Hands where I can see them,” he orders.
I flip him off with both.
He chuckles. “You want to play?” He gives my other nipple the same attention, teasing the hard peak until my head drops back. “You want to get yourself off?”
“Yes.” My fingernails dig into my thighs.
“That’s too damn bad. You touch yourself when I say you can.” He tugs his shorts down. The moon peeks through the blinds, illuminating every inch of him.
Every. Single. Hard. Inch.
Saliva pools in my mouth, the sheer size of him bringing all kinds of dirty thoughts to mind.
“Just like you come when I say you do.” He fists his cock once, drawing a bead of pre-cum from the tip. “Open your mouth.”
I do what he says. His cock slides against my tongue, the taste of him overriding all my other senses. He pushes until my lungs burn and my eyes water.
“Breathe.” He doesn’t pull out. Doesn’t so much as retreat a single inch, forcing me to breathe through my nose and fight the panic clawing at my chest.
He reaches out to cup my chin. “You look so pretty with your lips wrapped around my cock.” His gaze slides from me to the antique mirror across from us. Our eyes catch each other’s in the reflection, and he holds that connection as he withdraws.
Goose bumps break out across my skin, the sight of him thrusting his cock into my mouth nearly making my eyes roll.
“Look how good you take me.” His hands latch on to my scalp as he plunges into my mouth over and over again, all while I watch in the mirror.
Everything about him entrances me.
The rise and fall of his chest with each powerful thrust.
His muscles rippling as he fucks my mouth, using me like his favorite toy.
The way he looks at me with affection despite the way he ravages my throat. Like our very souls are reconnecting again after being apart for years.
He pulls out all too soon, leaving a string of saliva connecting the head of his cock to my lips.
“Fuck. That’s hot.” He wipes the bead of pre-cum oozing from his tip and swipes it across my lips, branding the swollen flesh with his arousal.
My tongue darts out, teasing the pad of his thumb before swiping away at the salty release.
Cal throws me back on the bed before dragging my legs toward the edge.
“Are you on the pill?” He dips a finger inside me before releasing a confirmatory noise.
I shake my head. “Shot.”
“Condom?” He pumps his cock once, the sight of him seeking his own pleasure making my heart beat harder against my rib cage.
“I’d rather feel you come inside me.”
He groans, making me feel like a queen. I wrap my legs around his waist and pull him closer. My heart pounds in my chest as he leans forward and lines himself up, his fingers gripping into my ass as he angles me higher.
There is no warning. No sweet words whispered in my ear. No easing me into the situation as he thrusts inside me in one single stroke, making my eyes water and my legs shake around him as I take all of him.
My back curves up to the ceiling as he seats himself to the hilt inside of me.
He leans forward, pressing his weight into me. “You know what you feel like?” There is a slight tremble to his voice.
I shake my head.
“You feel like home.” He retreats, only to slam into me again. “Like I spent the last six years lost with no way of being able to return. As if I was stuck in an endless night with no light to help guide me back to you.” He lifts me higher this time, changing his angle as he slides in slower this time, drawing out our pleasure.
My legs tighten around his body, tugging him forward until he hovers over me again.
Whatever control Cal had over the situation snaps as he throws my legs over his shoulders and drives himself inside me with enough power to push me backward. I grasp the comforter and take his thrusts.
Pleasure builds, my orgasm slowly rising like the beginnings of a wave. I want to give in but the urge to hold out has me fighting back the pressure building in my lower belly. Cal takes my lack of orgasm as a challenge. His thrusts deepen, stealing my breath away with every single push.
When he catches me slipping backward, he pulls me back and wraps his fingers around my throat, holding me in place as he drives into me with abandon.
Shit. He fucks like a man on the brink of madness.
“Cal,” I rasp.
“Say my name like that again.” His hand around my neck tightens.
“Cal.” I gasp as his cock brushes against the sensitive spot inside me. He repeats the same move, and my back arches as if pulled by a string.
My legs hanging over his shoulders tremble as I explode.
Cal doesn’t stop thrusting until another orgasm builds inside of me. This time, he follows soon after me, his body shuddering from his release. His pumps become shallower, his movements jerkier as he rides his orgasm until the end.
He collapses against me, driving us both deeper into the mattress. I brush through the slick strands of his hair with my fingers.
He presses a chaste kiss against my skin. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Then become the man who does.”
