“Cam, wait up!” Laura calls me right before I’m about to step onto the ice for practice.
“What’s up?” I ask her.
She cringes. “I have a favor to ask you, and I know you’re not going to love it.”
Dammit. “What do you need?”
“For you to stay here after practice for an interview,” she mumbles.
I’m off for the next three days, and I want to spend them with Nikki, not sucking up to an interviewer for good press. She thinks I’m off but that I have to stay here for team bonding. But I’m flying out tonight because I like surprising her. But this job comes with things like this, and sometimes, it’s hard to complain about it because of the amazing pros I do have.
“What’s the interview about? Did Kos already say no?”
Usually, he is the one to do most of the one-on-one interviews. Everyone wants to talk to the captain of the Nighthawks.
She sighs. “This interviewer requested you personally. Have you not seen the article about you yet?”
“What article?” I ask with hesitancy. “I haven’t seen anything.”
She holds her finger in the air as she unlocks her phone and searches for it. “This one.” She hands her phone to me.
I read the headline on the screen. “Has This Nighthawks Bachelor Settled Down?”
What the fuck?
“This is news?” I laugh. “That’s why the interviewer requested me?”
It was inevitable that pictures of Nikki and me would get posted and shared, but I’m still surprised at the uproar from it.
She takes her phone back. “Everyone wants to know who the mystery girl is that stole your heart. So, will you do it? If not, I need to let them know.”
“Yeah, I’ll do it. I gotta go though. It’s here after practice?” I ask, stepping onto the ice.
“Yes,” she says, smiling, and answers a call on her phone. “Hello?”
I skate away and make a lap to warm up. The girl who stole my heart, huh?
I wonder if she’s seen the article yet and what she thinks of it. The public eye is daunting and invasive at times. I’ll call her after practice and the interview.
Coach blows the whistle and divides us into teams to scrimmage. A lot of our practices are straight scrimmage because it’s one of the best ways to improve our skills and prepare us for games.
We scrimmage for an hour before Coach calls it and releases us for the night. I have no hope left to escape before the interview because Laura is already waiting with a strange woman and a cameraman on our benches. Laura waves at me, and I lift a glove, waving back.
“Good luck, Costy. Don’t forget to show off those pearly whites.” Brett smacks my back as he skates past me.
“Sure you don’t want to do it?” I jokingly but not jokingly ask him.
He laughs. “Absolutely not. Besides, I’m not the one with a new girlfriend or a new scandal or a new injury. They don’t care about me right now. Thank God.”
I skate over to the waiting vultures with a big, flashy smile. “Where would you like me?”
“Hi. I’m Natalie. Please, have a seat here, and we’ll set up around you. It will just be you on camera today. I’ll be asking you questions off-screen.” She beams.
Sitting down on the bleachers, I pull off my helmet and set it down beside me, shaking my hair out.
Natalie and the unnamed cameraman set up their equipment and clip a mic on my jersey. Laura is sitting down, typing away on her laptop. She should have at least told me what questions would be asked.
“Are you ready?” Natalie enthusiastically asks.
“As I’ll ever be.” I smile.
She positions herself to the right, behind the camera. “Don’t stress. We can redo as many takes as we need. Just look at me the whole time and pretend the camera isn’t there.”
Yeah, I know how interviews work. I’ve done a handful already. But I know she’s going to ask about Nikki, and that alone has me nervous in a different way.
I nod, and she fires the first question at me. “This season has been incredible for the Nighthawks. You guys are undefeated so far. What are you all doing to keep your streak?”
“We put in a lot of work this past off-season, on and off the ice. It shows in our game play and in our teamwork. The bond we have together is unbreakable. We go into every game with a clear mindset, ready to work for every goal and not to expect a win. The time we’ve dedicated to our craft and to the team is paying off.”
She nods with a big smile. “Perfect. The chemistry of your team is undeniable. No matter who is in the game, you play at the exact same level.” She pauses awkwardly. “What do you do in your free time? Any secret hobbies or skills you’re working on?”
Shrugging, I generically answer her question. “In my free time, I’m often watching other teams’ games, trying to learn their strong suits and potential weaknesses.”
“What about your personal life? Anyone special?” she asks and winks at me.
I give her what she is pushing for. “Yes, actually. I recently started seeing someone.”
She oohs and aahs. “What’s her name? How did you guys meet?”
Nikki in that tight gold dress flashes in my mind.
“Her name is Nikki. We met at a club in town during their masquerade opening night a few months back.”
Natalie waves her hands toward herself, asking me to give her more.
“She’s amazing and so down-to-earth. She knows what really matters in life and what doesn’t. I’ve never met someone so strong and resilient. She makes me look at everything differently in the best possible way.”
Forcing my swallow over the new lump in my throat, I continue, “She is everything I never knew I needed or wanted in life. I’m incredibly grateful to Laura, Alec Kostelecky’s fiancée, for introducing us that night.”
She makes me happier than I ever thought I could be. She makes me look forward to every single day because she’s in it. Life before her was routine and boring.
I refused to let anyone in because I didn’t want to feel pain anymore from the people I loved. I’ve been that way since the man I was born to trust and love took the life of the one and only person who truly did love me—my mom.
After my dad hurt us, I assumed everyone had that darkness within them even if they didn’t know it yet. Maybe everyone does. But it’s a choice you make every day. You choose to do or not do evil things. You choose to protect or to hurt the ones you love. You choose right or wrong.
But I didn’t have that choice when I was younger. He chose for me. He chose to whip me whenever he pleased. He chose to hurt my mom whenever he wanted to, and one day, he chose to take her life. But when he killed her, he also chose to go to prison for the rest of his life. He was a cop who had gotten away with so much for so long.
When I was young, I tried many times to tell people who he really was—school counselors and nurses. But no one would listen, and if they did, it was shut down the second it reached the station. After all, he was a beloved cop in the community who could never do those things. I just had an active imagination and was mad at him and trying to get him into trouble—or at least, that was what I was always told.
He broke every trust I ever had—with him, with peers, with those I was supposed to be able to go to for help. He made me give up on anything good.
Until that night at Fireflies, I did a good job at keeping everyone at arm’s length. But Nikki snuck into my life, and I don’t know if it was the scars that graced her skin or the darkness I recognized in her eyes, but I was hooked. I knew it the moment we met, but I was too scared to really see it. To see that we were inevitable.
Whatever shitty paths life had taken us down, we found our way to one another—to the only person who would understand us without saying a word.
After everything she has been through, she still chose to take a chance on me. If I were her, I don’t know that I would have been able to do that. But every day, she shares more of herself with me, and I, with her. Who knew pink hair and bright blue eyes would make me believe in love again?
“Wow. That is so sweet,” Natalie adds. “Have Laura and Nikki known each other long?”
Nodding, I answer, “Nikki owns a coffee shop that Laura used to go to when she and Jack lived in Duluth.”
“Oh, so she’s not from here?” Natalie retorts.
“Nope. She still lives there and runs her coffee shop. I visit her when I can, and vice versa,” I answer.
“Long distance must be hard. Any tips or tricks for keeping a relationship healthy during those times apart?”
“Communicate. FaceTime has been our go-to almost every night. We connect about our day and talk about our plans for our next time together. It’s hard, but it’s not impossible. It’s an easy sacrifice to make when it’s for someone you love.”
I did not just say that.
But I’m not wrong or lying. I was just too afraid to admit it to myself.
I love her. I fucking love her.
I love the way she melts in my arms when I hold her. I love the way she smiles when she catches me staring. I love the way she has opened herself up to me and slowly trusted me with her heart and her body. I love everything about her.
She was made for me to love.
I’ve never felt anything like how I feel for her. It consumes me. Every thought and every second of every day, she is there in my mind. When I lie in bed at night, my body aches to feel her next to me. When I wake, I want nothing more than to kiss her and feel her lips on mine.
The thought of loving someone used to scare me, but I think I was just waiting to love her. Because loving her isn’t scary. It’s the most freeing thing I’ve ever done. I’m going to continue to love her every single goddamn day.
I need to tell her how I feel. I need to show her. Words are but a promise to her and me, but actions are their fulfillment. I’m going to kiss every inch of her body, trace every scar with my tongue. I’m going to show her what love feels like.
“That’s all the questions I had. Anything else you would like to add?” Natalie asks.
Shaking my head, I tear the mic off and hand it back to her. “Nope. Thank you so much. This was … enlightening. I need to go. Let Laura know if you need anything else from me, please. Thanks.”
I grab my helmet and take off for the locker room. My flight leaves in two hours, and I need to pick up flowers before I get there.
I love Nikki Satinn, and nothing is ever going to change that. She and I were fucking made for each other.
On my way out of the arena, I try calling her, but she doesn’t answer, so I leave a voice mail.
“Hey, baby. I’m coming to see you. There’s something really important I need to tell you, and I have to do it in person. I miss you. I’ll be there in a few hours.”
I love you, I want to say, but don’t. I want to see her reaction when I tell her for the first time, and then I want to kiss her senseless.
