I should have insisted on sleeping outside. Freezing my ass off on the uncomfortable ground had to be better than the thought of Joanna sleeping only feet away from me and having to keep my hands to myself.
I wanted to be a gentleman, do the right thing. When I’d offered to sleep outside, I was fully willing to do it. But once she started rambling about why I shouldn’t and that sharing a room wasn’t a big deal, I didn’t fight it.
Way to torture yourself, asshole.
In a way, this was the ultimate test of will. All day, I’d been watching Joanna. She was a fascinating combination of soft and strong. She’d eagerly helped everyone who was willing to listen. She smiled—god, that smile got to me—and joked. Joanna had such a simple, easy way about her. She got her hands dirty and wasn’t afraid to put the work in for her job. She’d worked hard all day, and I respected her so much more because of it.
It also didn’t go unnoticed how her ass looked as she climbed ridges and the way her shoulders and arms were lean and strong. More than once, I had to remind myself that Joanna was totally off-limits. I still had to figure out what was going on between her and Finn, and there was the fact that I was fucked up in the head. But I couldn’t get her, or her letters, off my mind. My hand moved to the folded paper in my pocket.
Now, standing in the doorway of the Stonefly 8 room, I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell I was going to do. The room was small but clean. It had two double beds on opposite walls with matching hunter-green plaid bedspreads. I flipped on the light and saw a small bathroom was the only place either of us would have any privacy here. A wave of unease went through me as I thought of her sleeping so close to me. What if I had another nightmare and she was around to see me panicking and acting like a lunatic?
Fuck.
“Ladies first,” I said, motioning her to enter ahead of me. Yes, I was being polite, but not so polite that I didn’t also appreciate that ass again with a tilt of my head.
“Do you have a preference?” she asked, motioning between the two beds.
I scanned the room. My instincts were acutely aware of all of the entrances and exits and I knew exactly where she’d be safest.
“I’ll take this one,” I said, placing my pack on the bed closest to the door.
Sure, I knew Joanna was more than capable, and there weren’t any real threats here, but I’d be damned if I wasn’t going to put myself between her and anyone coming through that door.
With a tired sigh, Joanna leaned backward and flopped onto the opposite bed.
“Ooohhhh, god, this is comfortable. Just wake me in the morning.” She laughed, her eyes closed.
I smiled at her because she was fucking adorable.
“I’m going to go down to the bar for a beer with Brandon to plan out tomorrow and the trip back upriver. I’ll take Bud out and he can hang with me. Feel free to clean up or do whatever you need,” I told her.
She turned her head toward me and sighed. “Fine. I’ll get up.” And with a groan, she started getting her clothes together for a shower. “Thank you.” She smiled at me again, and it shot me right in the gut. I clicked my tongue for Bud to follow me, and we quietly left the room.
I didn’t really need to talk to Brandon. This trip was standard and had been planned months ago, but there was no way I’d be able to be in a room, hearing Joanna showering, with only a thin wall separating us. Just thinking about the warm water running down her smooth muscles made my cock spring to life. I had to get out of that space. I needed to breathe. With a subtle adjustment to my pants, I grabbed my room key and headed to the house bar without looking back at her.
Down the hallway, the main floor opened up with a large bar service. It was an “honor bar,” where you took whatever you wanted, but left your room number for it to be charged later. I loved the small-town charm of that and hoped no one was taking advantage of the kindness of Mr. and Mrs. Chaney.
Sean, Brandon, and a few of the other guests were sitting around the bar. Some played cards while others were watching a baseball game on the television. We mainly made small talk that I wasn’t interested in, and Bud took all the ear scratches they could give out.
I couldn’t get Joanna out of my head.
I thought back to all the years I’d read her letters and the fact that now she was right here. It was a total mind-fuck. Of all the scenarios I’d played out in my mind for how I would find her, this had not been one of them.
She’d literally been on the periphery of my life for years and we’d never crossed paths. All day, I’d been going over and over it. How had we never met if she was such a part of Finn’s life? She went to school here, even lived right there in Chikalu for a few years, for fuck’s sake. Maybe Finn was hiding her—keeping her for himself.
Taking a drink of my beer, I thought about him. He wasn’t a snake—far from it. He was the nicest human on the planet.
Finn and I had slowly drifted apart even in the years I had been home. Sure, we worked together and got along really well, but we didn’t hang out. I knew he’d wanted to—he invited me along plenty of times—but outside of the poker games with Colin and Decker, it was pretty limited.
That’s because you’re a prick.
“How’s it feel to be guiding again?” Brandon asked as he lowered onto the stool beside me.
I grunted in response.
“You should do this more often,” he continued. “Finn talks a lot about how much fun you two used to have. He misses you, man.”
At that, I looked over at Brandon whose attention was on the game. Not sure what to do with that, I took another drink. There was a lot about Finn and his life outside of work that I didn’t know. Did that include Joanna? If it didn’t, why hadn’t he ever talked about a girlfriend or bring anyone home to Mom’s for Sunday dinner?
The thought that my own brother was practically a stranger gnawed at me. Feeling restless, I downed the rest of my beer, filled out my slip for Mrs. Chaney, and headed back to the room.
Once I got there, I stood in front of the closed door like a moron. I thought about Joanna just past the door—was she sleeping? What did her pajamas look like? I let myself imagine her draped across the bed, waiting for me.
Slow down, tiger.
I took a breath and quietly opened the door. Bud trotted to Joanna’s side of the room and wound himself in circles until he found a comfortable spot on the floor.
I could see her body tucked underneath her covers, her back to me. The lamp on the small table between the beds was left on, and a smile played at my lips. She was kindhearted and considerate, and just the thought of her this close got me worked up.
All day, I’d tried to put her and her silky hair out of my mind. I wanted to look at her and feel nothing, and all day, I’d failed miserably. Frustrated, I grabbed fresh clothes from my pack and headed to the bathroom to shower. I needed to rinse the day off me.
I was so amped up that I turned the water up as hot as it could go without actually burning my skin. She had no fucking clue what she did to me. Watching her graceful casts, her smile, thinking about how her body responded to me when we kissed in the water. My dick was so hard it hurt.
The steam rose and hot water poured over my shoulders. I rubbed the back of my neck where Joanna had wrapped her arms around me. I could still feel her body entwined with mine, pressed against me as I held her.
Closing my eyes, I grabbed my solid erection. Stroking up and down. I imagined Joanna’s soft skin as I pulled her naked body against mine. A tangled mess of limbs as I stroked my tongue against her neck. I could practically feel her hard, pink nipples brush against me. What noises would she make when I took that small, hard peak into my mouth?
My cock throbbed in response. I squeezed harder and stroked faster. Keeping my eyes closed, I let myself have this fantasy—the same one I’d had every day since seeing her in the bar.
Joanna’s head back, legs tipped open as I tasted her. I knew her pussy would be the best thing I’d ever tasted. The darkening of those green-gray eyes as I brought her closer to climax before stopping. I wanted to push the head of my cock between the folds of her wet pussy and feel her warmth wrap around me.
Bracing myself with one hand on the tile, I continued jerking my cock harder. I wanted to give in to this and every fantasy I’d ever had about Joanna. The muscles in my shoulders bunched as I drove myself closer. I wanted to give myself to her and feel her come as undone as she made me feel.
I felt the familiar pressure of my balls tightening, on the brink of release. I wanted to come so badly with the thoughts of Joanna under me as I split her open.
A loud, hard clank had my head whipping up and my eyes springing open to see Joanna in the mirror through the steam of the shower leaned against the sink, eyes wide, staring at me with my dick in my hands.
