“Glad you could finally grace us with your presence.” I smirked at my younger brother as he sauntered into work, hours late.
“I had some things to work out. Besides, Jo said she could handle the morning tour.”
I nodded, but something pricked at the back of my neck that I couldn’t quite place—an itch that you couldn’t find when you went to scratch it. I lifted my phone and tapped out a message to Joanna.
Me: All good?
I frowned at the screen when several minutes passed without a reply. Something gnawed at my gut, so I flipped back through the books to see who was scheduled for today.
“Todd Bender and Stan Ellis. You know ‘em?” I asked, tapping the names on the ledger.
Finn shook his head. “Nah. I don’t think so. One’s a mechanic over in Canton Springs, maybe? Why? What’s up?”
I shook my head again and flipped the book closed. I recalled the men who checked in at the office. I gave them directions to the meet-up site and didn’t give it a second thought.
“I don’t know.” I rounded my desk and walked past Finn to the coffeemaker. I poured myself another black cup and stared into the inky liquid, leaning against my desk.
I pushed the uneasy feeling away and focused on my brother. Today was an important day. I needed to tell Finn that I was falling in love with Joanna.
And while I wasn’t sorry about it, I wanted to acknowledge his feelings. I wanted us to be able to move past it. I knew I didn’t deserve her, but I would try like hell to be a good and honorable man for her. Part of that meant facing my brother, his crush on her, and probably taking a fist to the jaw over it.
“Lincoln. There’s something we need to talk about.” When Finn started with my full name, my thoughts stuttered.
“Yeah, I think so too.” I felt my chest whump once as I placed my coffee cup down with a hard snap and stood—chin up, chest out, shoulders back, stomach in.
“Ok, so here’s the deal,” Finn started as he ran a hand across the back of his head. “I realized a few things while you were gone, and I’ve never had the balls to talk to you about it, but—”
Our heads flicked toward the entrance as a wild-eyed Joanna bustled through the main door. She looked at me, then Finn, before leaning hard against the wall.
Instinctively, I moved for her as her legs wobbled. I wrapped my hands around her arms to steady her and pulled her into my chest. I could feel her heartbeat rabbiting against her ribs.
“Baby, what’s wrong?” I demanded.
“I…I don’t know. I just…”
Finn moved to her side, placing his palm between her shoulder blades. “Jo, what happened?” Finn’s voice was laced with panic as he searched her face.
Joanna huffed out a breath in an attempt to steady herself. She didn’t lift her eyes from my boots. “Something happened,” she started.
Alarm bells clanged in my skull, but I leveled my breathing.
She continued. “I don’t know. I just got scared.”
I tightened my grip on her, and she winced. I lengthened my arms so I could look at her and swept my hands inside her jacket, pulling it down her arms. Just above one elbow, a fresh, angry bruise bloomed. Clear indentations of fingertips dotted her inner arm.
“Who the fuck did this to you?”
“Holy shit, Jo.”
Our voices tangled over each other.
Crimson seeped into my vision as I stepped away from her and yanked my keys from the top of my desk. Finn pulled Joanna into him, running a comforting hand down her back as I strode past them, my mouth in a hard line.
Finn shouted something at me, but I didn’t listen. There were only a few places a piece of shit could go in the middle of the day in this town. If they were still there, I would find them.
My truck came to a grinding halt, hopping one wheel on the curb as I slammed my foot on the brake and shoved the gear shift to park. I didn’t bother to take my keys or close the door as I tore across the sidewalk.
A thick, pounding heat coursed through my veins. I pushed open the heavy wooden door to The Dirty Pigeon bar, spilling afternoon sunlight into the dim interior. Alert, I scanned the dusky room for my targets. When my eyes found the two motherfuckers I had come for, my spine turned to steel.
As my long strides ate up the space between the door and the bar, one of them—Todd, I recalled from when they checked in this morning—lifted his head. His dull, heavy-lidded eyes met mine in the mirror behind the bar and went wide.
My lip twitched with a menacing smile as I barreled toward him, fists clenched.
Someone moved to my left, and with a shove, I sent him stumbling backward. Before Todd could react, I lifted my boot and kicked the wooden barstool out from beneath him, sending it squealing across the floor. His half-drunk body crumpled to the ground.
My boot connected to with side in a satisfying crunch, and in one fluid movement, I was straddled over his coiled body. The force of my fist connected with his face as I hammered away at him.
Tugs at my shirt and the shouts that encircled me did nothing to stop the punishment I delivered. My collar tore as Todd’s friend clawed at me. He got one good pop in—his elbow connecting with my eyebrow as he tried to disengage me. My head flared back, but I recentered myself quickly.
He wound his arm around my neck, but I grabbed his elbow and pulled, shifting my weight to the side, and sent him careening over my shoulder. His thick body slammed into the ground next to me.
I trained my eyes on him and delivered a fresh set of punches to his face, ignoring the splits in my throbbing knuckles and the blood that burbled out of his throat. I looked up, only briefly, to see Colin as he vaulted the bar against the back wall, shotgun in hand.
A low thump hammered in my head, drowning out the commotion of the gathering crowd. I couldn’t stop, didn’t want to. These assholes had touched what was mine, and they were going to pay for it.
Colin reached us within seconds. I had discarded Todd and had his friend pinned against the base of the bar.
“Back up, Lincoln.” Colin’s voice was hard.
My breath came out in explosive bursts as I continued my assault.
“Jesus, Lincoln. Enough!” Colin shoved a hand in the center of my chest, putting himself between me and my mission.
My head snapped up as he shoved me backward onto my heels. Ragged breaths pounded out of me. I looked down to see my hands, split and swollen, covered in blood.
Three men dragged the moaning Todd and his friend toward the center of the dance floor. I gnashed my teeth together and fought to quell the rage that still bubbled inside of me.
Colin passed his shotgun to the bartender and grabbed the tattered edges of my collar. “What the actual fuck, Linc?” he shouted into my face.
The urge to surge forward and continue my decimation of those two pieces of shit was undeniable.
“Fucking look at me, man. What the hell is going on?”
“Those assholes attacked Joanna today.” The words were acid in my mouth.
The audible gasps rumbled through the small crowd. Todd and Stan were moaning and grunting as they were helped to their feet.
I unfolded myself, standing tall and leaning forward with my fists clenched at my sides.
Wanna go again?
Colin’s hand stayed planted against my chest. “We’ll take care of this. You need to calm the fuck down and go into my office before I make Deck arrest your ass.”
I darted my eyes in his direction. Fucking do it. I dare you.
“I’m serious, Lincoln. You need to back up.”
“I’m not fucking leaving until those assholes pay for what they did to her.”
“All right, I hear you, brother. We’ll figure this shit out. But I need to know you aren’t going to go apeshit again if I walk away.” Colin’s eyes pinned me in place. I trusted him, and his words were the first to crack through my rage. I took one step back, bumping into a barstool, and sat.
Colin paused, still assessing, before he stepped over to a heaving Todd and Stan. “Get the fuck out of my bar.” Colin’s gravelly voice enunciated every syllable.
“Someone call the cops!” Todd shouted. “I’m pressing charges against that animal!” He was looking around frantically as the local crowd began to shake their heads and turn away.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Colin continued coolly. He crossed his arms over his broad chest. “I saw you trip and fall.”
Todd’s swollen eyes widened. “Is that how it’s gonna be?” He could barely lift his arm as he pointed in my direction. “This guy comes out of nowhere, starting shit. He attacked us!”
“Like I said,” Colin’s voice dropped an octave and he glared at the two of them, “all I saw was you trip and hit your head. I sure hope you’re okay.”
“This is some bullshit,” Stan said, straining to breathe. “Let’s get the fuck out of here, man.”
Todd spat a bloody wad across Colin’s boot as they staggered toward the door. My jaw ticked, and my fist itched to connect with their swollen faces again.
With them still struggling to open the door and leave, Colin turned to me. “My office. Now.”
“Jesus, fuck, dude.” Colin reached into the mini fridge behind his desk and tossed a water bottle at me from across his office. “What the fuck?”
Without answering him, I uncapped the bottle and brought it to my parched lips, downing half of it in one go. My hands ached, and the swelling across my eyebrow made it increasingly hard to see out of my right eye.
My leg bounced with unspent adrenaline. I was dying to get back to Joanna. I needed to check on her, check every fucking inch of her to make sure she was safe.
The image of the bruising on her arm flipped through my mind, sending a fresh wave of fury coursing through me. I couldn’t sit still so I stood abruptly, the backs of my legs pushing away the chair behind me. I paced in Colin’s office and ran every possible scenario in my head. I hadn’t even gotten any details from Joanna before I barreled out of the office and into the bar. My phone was still on my desk so I couldn’t even call her to make sure she was secure.
“All right, boss. You need to calm the fuck down before you throw yourself into a panic attack.” Colin’s eyes never left me as I etched a path on the faded carpet, and he caught the glare I shot from the side of my purpling eye.
“I don’t need a fucking caretaker.” I spat my words at him, and my gut clenched, knowing full well I was being a total prick.
“Yeah, well, someone needs to make sure you don’t use all that military training and pent-up rage to kill someone.”
His words slammed into my chest. I scrubbed the drying blood off my hands as the truth settled into my churning gut.
It wasn’t that I could kill them. It was that I wanted to.
The tenets and rules that structured my entire life crumbled around me. In one instant—without even knowing the facts, without hesitation—I was willing to end someone’s life.
The years that I had been back home came into startling view. God and I had developed an understanding—I was an imposter, and I knew that he knew I was not a good man.
A sharp rap at the office door dragged my attention away from the spiraling chaos that was my life.
“It’s me.” Cole Decker’s voice was all business as he pushed open the office door. Deck stepped in, dressed in his uniform.
Colin tipped his chin in greeting, and the three of us exchanged glances.
“Look, Deck,” I started. “Joanna took those guys out fishing this morning by herself. I don’t know what happened, but she came home with bruises.”
“Finn already called me,” he said. “I met them at your office, but when I saw her arm, I took her in so we could take some pictures. He stayed with Jo.”
I nodded slowly. Joanna deserved a man like Finn. He was steady and strong and there for her when she needed it.
“I took some pictures at the station and got her report.”
“Is she all right?” Colin asked.
“She’s pretty rattled. I guess those two fucks had been sneaking whiskey, and she didn’t know it. At the end of the morning, one of them started to get aggressive. She said he grabbed her arm and…” His voice trailed off as his eyes swept between Colin and me.
“And what?” I demanded.
His large chest expanded beneath his police vest as he weighed how much to tell me. “She said he got handsy—felt her up a little, and when she resisted, he went for his belt buckle. She was pretty convinced he was going to take it further.”
My jaw tightened so fast it hollowed my cheeks.
Deck lifted his hand. “Listen. She’s all right. After a shot to his balls, she was able to run to the truck and headed straight to you. I take it that’s when you decided to block a sidewalk with your truck and go all Rambo in here?”
I squared my shoulders, hands behind my back, and leveled my gaze to his. I nodded once. I would take my punishment.
Colin leaned a hip against his desk. “So what’s our move?”
“Well, we’re lucky this town loves him.” He jerked his head in my direction. “No one in that bar is talking…at all. You beat the shit out of two people in the middle of the day with a dozen witnesses, but when I came in to ask questions, most people acted like they didn’t know what I was talking about.” His head shook in disbelief. “We have a man out to round up Todd and Stan, but even if they want to press charges, there’s no one to corroborate what happened.”
“Well, all right.” Colin walked up next to me with a smile, slapping a hand down hard on my shoulder. “I’ll get shit cleaned up here. You go get your girl.”
My girl.
The past several weeks flickered through my mind. The shotgun bubble of her laughter at her own terrible jokes, her fingertips dragging a tingling path up my forearm as she read her book, the way her face lit up when she reeled in a monster fish, how she hummed—completely off-key—to any song she half knew. Everything about her was painfully perfect. She deserved someone who wasn’t a walking disaster, someone who was sane. A man with honor who wouldn’t steal his brother’s girl or lose control and nearly kill a man.
In one rage-fueled outburst, I had successfully ruined everything. The thought of me touching Joanna after what I had done had guilt and shame skittering in my stomach. My chest felt like it was going to cave in. Once she truly knew what I was capable of, she would never look at me the same way again. I would lose Joanna, and it was my own fucking fault.
I hated myself. She was too kind and good to ever leave on her own so it would be up to me to build the wall between us. Trudging to my truck, I knew exactly what I had to do to make sure Joanna would have the life she deserved.
