I wasn’t sure how long I sat out back staring at the ocean. Some days, it was the only thing that calmed me down. Other days, it was the only thing that kept me going. Melody loved the ocean. It was why she always loved coming over. She’d sneak out of her house and throw rocks at my window just to wake me up so we could sit on the water’s edge, hand in hand, and reminisce on what life would be like once we got out of this bustling city.
We had plans, her and I.
But, life never worked out the way we wanted it to, and this was no different. I wasn’t sure what kind of a life I saw for myself, but it certainly wasn’t this one. And maybe the guys were right. Maybe I was holding that against everyone and it was fueling my anger in the process.
Maybe they were wrong, though, and they were simply underestimating me.
Nevertheless, as the moon hung high in the sky, I went inside to seek out Tanner. I needed to talk to him. I needed to get some shit off my chest. So, I walked my ass back inside and knocked on his door.
And when he opened it, his face was flushed and damp with sweat.
“Sorry,” I said with a chuckle.
He shook his head. “Just in the shower. What’s up?”
I grinned. “I’m sure you were.”
His face fell flat. “Spit it out, Finn.”
“Everything okay!?” Summer called out.
“I’ll have him back to you in a sec!” I yelled back.
Tanner cleared his throat. “You look like you’ve been through the ringer. You okay?”
I leaned against the wall. “If you call babysitting detail “okay.” Look, I’m almost positive Sloane has already found something, which is why she’s locked away in the basement. But, I couldn’t go inside the precinct with her and I still haven’t found a way to get my hands on those files. She’s really taking this cop thing seriously.”
He nodded. “I’d expect her to. Summer tells me she’s one of the good ones.”
I clicked my tongue. “You and I both know there are no good cops. Only dirty ones and lazy ones.”
He chuckled. “I suppose so.”
“Anyway, if you’ve got any tips on how to woo those files away from her fingers, I’m all ears.”
“Did you try being a decent human being to her?”
“Did you hear that she called me a little bitch?”
He barked with laughter. “What did you call her first?”
Summer quickly interrupted our conversation. “Something I can help with? I heard my sister’s name.”
I snickered. “Well, your sister’s stubborn as fuck, I hope you know that.”
She barked with laughter, too. “Trust me, I grew up with her. I know just how stubborn she can get.”
“So, any ideas on how to get her to trust me so I can take a peek at things?”
She shrugged. “Convince here that you’re worth sharing information with. Gain her trust.”
I blinked. “Cops trust people? Who-da thunk it.”
Her face fell flat. “Finn, once you break down my sister’s walls she puts up to protect herself, you’ll get on her good side. And when you’re there? She’ll do anything for you. She’ll tell you whatever it is you need to hear to make yourself feel more comfortable and confident. It just takes time. We grew up rough, and she did the majority of her growing without me to protect her because I was dealing with my own shit. Just keep that in mind. She’s used to being on her own. Mostly, at least.”
I nodded slowly. “Riiiiight.”
Tanner rolled his eyes. “Got anything else before we get back to our shower?”
Summer furrowed her brow. “Is that what you told him we were doing?”
Now, it was my turn to bark with laughter. “What a life we lead some days.”
Still, Tanner pressed on. “Believe it or not, you two are cut from the same cloth. She doesn’t trust easily by the sound of it, and neither do you. So, do to her what someone else would have to do to you in order to gain your trust.”
Summer smiled. “And if there’s anything else I can do to help the process, let me know.”
I shook my head. “That shit isn’t gonna fly. If she’s anything like me at all, she’ll see right through my attempts.”
“Then, mean it when you attempt it,” Tanner said.
I peeked over at Summer. “Can I steal him for a second?”
Summer rolled her eyes. “Don’t keep him very long.”
Tanner glared at me. “You better not keep me long.”
I grabbed his arm and pulled him out of the bedroom. “You’re the one who put me on this detail, so you get to suffer with me. Now, come on.”
I dragged him out of the room and down the hallway until we were perched at the circular window looking out over the ocean. The dead end hallway had a small sitting area just in front of that window and it had been my mother’s favorite place to perch and read. I remembered climbing into her lap as a little kid and snuggling underneath her arm before she’d start reading out loud to me.
I missed those kinds of days.
“Okay, what’s really on your mind?” Tanner asked as he sat down.
I sat in the other chair and gathered my thoughts. “Is there any other prospect you guys trust with this kind of a job?”
He blinked. “You seriously pulled me away from the woman I love because you want to complain about your job again?”
I leaned forward, settling my elbows on my knees. “You can be pissed at me all you want, but you’ve got no idea how tightly locked down Sloane is. She’s worse than me, Tanner. Worse.”
He wrinkled his nose. “You’re not kidding, are you?”
I shook my head. “Not one damn bit. And I’ll admit, I flew off the handle at her a bit today. But, after she called me everything from a worthless piece of shit to a supposed murderer, I’ve had my fill of this job to last a lifetime.”
He leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Did she really call you all of that?”
“Not in so few words. But, you know how women are.”
He drew in a deep breath. “Look, I’m not going to lie, Summer told me it would be hard to crack her exterior. They went through hell and back as kids, and–.”
I leaned back into my chair. “We all went through hell and back as kids. And look how we turned out.”
He chuckled. “Just as stubborn and bullheaded as the rest of them?”
“Dude, come on. At least have a little bit of sympathy. For all you know, she might actually relate to one of you guys better than me.”
“You’re closer to her age, Finn. You relate to her better.”
I stared him down. “I will never, in my life, ever relate to a cop.”
He stood to his feet. “I get why you’re so hung up on the fact that she’s a cop. Everyone would be if they had endured what you had to go through as a child. But, that doesn’t mean Summer and Sloane didn’t have it equally worse in other ways. Use that to your advantage. You could understand her better because of the shit you two went through. All you have to do is open up a bit. Show her that you’re capable of it, and then she’ll show you she’s capable of it, too.”
“My job is to babysit her, Tanner, not be her friend.”
He leaned down, getting into my face. “And if that’s what it takes to do your job, then that’s what you’ll do. You’re part of a crew now. A brotherhood. So, start fucking acting like it and quit whining about shit that’s too damn hard.”
It took all I had not to break his jaw with my fist as I ground my teeth together. I watched as Tanner raised up and I stood to my feet, causing him to take a few steps back. He locked his hands behind his head and walked around a bit, almost as if he were stretching his muscles to rid himself of his own frustration.
Then, he turned to face me and spouted a truth that hurt so much it burned.
“I know you keep wondering why the hell it has to be you, and here’s why: because you’re the only one I truly trust to make this happen. The other guys? They’re too wrapped up in their own little personal worlds to make this happen, and Sloane already has a disdain for me because she blames me for breaking up a family I helped create. I’d do it if I could, but I can’t because of her predetermined notions about me. But, you’re like her. You two have so much more in common than you could ever realize. And on top of that, I know you won’t let anything slip through the cracks. I know you won’t let her off her leash for a fucking second, and that’s what we need. So, just go and talk to her. Take her some food, maybe some booze, and just fucking talk. Don’t make it all about work, or nothing at all. Treat her like a human, not like a cop, and that’ll get you further than you think.”
I drew in a sobering breath to calm myself down. “Fine. But, if I can’t get her to open up to me within the next couple of days, will you agree to tag someone else in?”
He held out his hand. “You’ve got a deal.”
And after shaking on it, I went into the kitchen to prepare a meal for Sloane and I to share.
Because it was going to be a long fucking night.
