My heart about fell through my ass. I gripped the side of the truck like my literal life depended on it, and something heavy shoved against my chest. The seatbelt tightened and dug into my neck, and the sound. Ugh. The high-pitched squeal would forever be stuck in my mind, replaying over and over. We spun in a full circle, and a loud horn blared in the distance. Oh my god, another truck.
I closed my eyes, the terror of dying seizing me.
The pressure on my chest deepened as the heavy roar of the truck grew louder. We lurched forward, then slowed. The wind knocked out of me, and I couldn’t move. My limbs grew twice their size, the heaviness of the almost-crash making each breath difficult. The narrator’s voice carried on, talking about cults, when suddenly, the truck stopped.
“Fuck, Lo, I’m so sorry.” Metal clicked, and a door opened. Then, the cool air was blowing on my face, and Luca was right there next to me.
He undid my seatbelt and ran his hand over my neck, collarbone, and chest as his gaze darted between my face and chest. “Are you hurt?”
I shook my head, my entire body trembling from fear. The adrenaline rush was unlike anything I’d ever experienced. Each breath pulled tight in my throat and lungs, my toes and fingers throbbing from my pulse.
“Fuck.” His face fell, and he moved his hands over my arms and down my sides. “You’re okay. You’re good. No injuries.”
“A-are you?” I croaked out. His face paled, his eyes somehow darker.
“I’m fine. It’s you I’m worried about.” He cupped my face and waited until my gaze met his. “I might’ve hurt you when I reached out.”
He dropped his attention to my chest. My skin prickled as he stared at me, and at the mention of it, a dull ache formed over my breastbone. I cringed.
“I might’ve bruised you.” He pressed his lips together, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m so sorry.”
“Why did you do that?” I asked.
“To protect you. I didn’t even think, I just did it.” He rested his forehead against mine, his breath hitting my face as he shuddered.
My skin tinged for a different reason this time. The heightened emotions from the almost-accident, the way he’d protected me. In the middle of a potential accident, he’d reached over to me, ensuring I was safe. That was amazing. “Luca,” I whispered.
His breathing deepened, and his fingers dug into my face as he exhaled. I was too afraid to move. Something warm and hot grew in my gut, a bolt of lust overtaking all rational thoughts. I tilted my head up slightly, just a hair, and our lips were a centimeter apart. It would take no effort at all to close the distance, and my god, I wanted to. But I held back, out of fear, worry, I wasn’t sure.
“I’m sorry,” he said, the movement of the words causing his lips to touch mine. He wasn’t kissing me, but holy shit. Electricity sparked through my skin, getting into my veins and spreading like fire.
My stomach fluttered with butterflies, and I squeezed my thighs together. “It’s not your fault,” I said. My lips grazed his too, and I craved to close the distance, bite his lower full one, to suck it into my mouth.
I wanted to feel his hands dig into my body as I kissed him.
Every part of my body tuned to his: the way he smelled like sweat and laundry, the way his breath hit my face and smelled like mint, the feel of his hands on me and the way his fingers shook. “Are you okay?” I whispered. I wanted to make sure he was but also needed an excuse to talk because that meant our lips grazed again.
It was the sexiest, non-kiss I’d ever had.
He released a huge sigh, pulled back, and nodded. His eyes swirled with worry and heat. He kept gripping my face as he stared at my mouth, his tongue wetting his bottom lip. His nostrils flared as he moved his thumb toward my lip. He pressed into it as he groaned. “You are—”
“You guys alright?” a voice called.
Luca flew off me like I’d caught fire. I hated the absence of his heat and strength. If the dude waited two seconds, we would’ve kissed.
Luca darted out of the passenger side door and waved a hand in the air. “We’re good, just shaken up.”
“Need anything?” the same cheery voice said.
Luca stared at me the lingering heat sizzling between us. He arched a brow, and I shook my head.
“No, we’re okay, thank you,” he called out but held my gaze. Even though there was a good ten feet between our bodies, there was an undeniable pull between us.
I still felt the whisper of his lips against mine, and I rubbed my lips together, wishing I could prolong that moment. Luca had protected me and was so gentle and worried that it confused me into thinking that maybe we should explore being more than friends.
The second the thought crossed my mind, a cold dose of reality hit me. He played football, and that was his only priority. I knew better than to get involved with a guy who told me over and over we’d never be anything. Even if I had a crush and wanted to kiss the hell out of him, that was still an entanglement I didn’t need. This project, my team, the season, finding a new place…. Those were my priority. Not exploring the wild attraction I had for this intense guy.
But imagine how he’d be in bed.
I cleared my throat as Luca stared up into the sky, pinching the bridge of his nose. He looked in pain, and my chest tightened. “You didn’t hurt yourself, did you Luca? Your arm is okay?”
He snapped his gaze to me. “I’m fine. Need a minute, that’s all.”
Was his tone chillier than before? I pulled my legs up to my chest again, hugging myself and closing my eyes. Eric made me feel too much and like an annoyance all the time, that I’d never come first or second to him. Luca made me feel the opposite, which was wonderful even if it never became more than friends. It showed me that I wasn’t wild or needy—it proved to me Eric really was a dick.
Boots on gravel crunched, and Luca walked up to my side of the truck, his eyes troubled and filled with disgust. I braced myself for the usual hot and cold from him. The sting of him being mean or telling me, for the millionth time, that football would come first. “I—”
“I know. Football comes first. I remember. No need to drive it home.” I focused on the dashboard and a speck of dust on the top right.
“That wasn’t… I’m not… hey,” he said softly. He ran a hand over my hair, gripping the back of my head, tilting it so I could face him.
The warmth on his face combined with the softness of his eyes, and I about melted. Luca was gorgeous. “What?” I asked, a little breathless.
“I love your hair.” He smiled, the gesture taking up his entire face. He sighed as he ran his fingers through it.
“Oh.”
“It’s perfect.” He narrowed his eyes, his smirk growing. “You’re becoming a real problem, Lo.”
“Wait, what? You’re all over the place right now, and I have no idea what to do.” My stomach did a flip-flop, and my heart backflipped. Was he teasing me or threatening me? With those gooey eyes, it couldn’t be a threat. I was seventy percent sure. “You have a strange look on your face, Monroe.”
“You keep finding ways to entice me.” He chewed the side of his lip, drawing nearer to me.
“Yes, that’s my goal. To entice you. My whole purpose in life,” I fired back, absolutely out of control with my emotions and hormones.
“See? Even now, with your sassy attitude, you are a temptation.” He closed his eyes. “One I can’t afford but goddamn, I want to so badly.”
“Want to what, Luca?”
He shuddered. “I like my name on your lips. It makes me want to break my rules, and I just…can’t.”
“I’m not asking you to, you know?” I said, placing my hands over his. “Being into each other is one thing, but doing anything about it? That’s up to us. I’m not trying to distract you in any way.”
“I know that, and I’m sorry if it came out like I blamed you.”
“It didn’t. I understand what you meant, but we should probably stop touching like this if we aren’t going to do anything about it. I understand why it’s a terrible idea, but when you touch me,” I said, gulping, “I’d agree to about anything.”
His eyes flared, and his jaw tensed. He stared at me hard, indecision clear on his face before he stepped back and muttered, “Fuck.”
Without his touch, I cooled down and could think more clearly. This was for the best. He knew it too, and after a few seconds of him staring off into the distance, he nodded to himself before getting back into the truck. He started it, gripped the wheel hard, and focused straight ahead. “You get your seatbelt on?”
“Yup.” I clicked it. “All good over here.”
“Great. Perfect.”
After a minute of tense silence, he was back on the highway, and we were en route to his grandma’s. The almost-accident and almost-kiss felt like four hours, but it was only about fifteen minutes. An intense, emotional roller coaster of a quarter hour. It was a bit unfair, if I was honest. Why did I have to have this magnetic pull to someone who was off-limits in so many ways to me?
I snorted, focusing on the farms in the fields as we drove by.
“What was that for?”
“Why do we have to be into each other when we are completely wrong for each other? Why couldn’t I be into a nice unathletic boy? Someone who can kiss me without worrying about the future? A guy who doesn’t play on a sports team with my brother? The list of what who not to go for is like three bullet points, and you meet all of them.”
Luca cleared his throat. “Why do you think an unathletic guy is right for you?”
“Because I know what it feels like to be put second or third all the time. My parents are great, but football is sexier. Dean’s career was more important always. One could say it was because of money, but it doesn’t take away the fact that I came in second. Then, the first guy I really fell for made me feel like an annoyance whenever I wanted to hang out. Baseball always came first, and I understood that because hello! I’m a fucking athlete too, but it was not the same because I was a girl. And with you, ugh, you look like you’d give me the best time in the bedroom ever, but I cannot go through feeling like second place again. And I don’t blame you—you need to put football first. Your grandma deserves that from you, so please don’t take that the wrong way, but wow, I’m talking a lot. I’ll shut up now.”
Luca didn’t respond, which was probably for the best. I’d gone on a mini rant from his question, and now my face heated in embarrassment. This was not how I’d envisioned this trip to visit his grandma. I thought we’d talk about the facility and life and her—not about why we could never give in to our attraction.
With the silence, I refocused myself on the goal: the project. The data backing up my success. The yellow brick road of what I was doing and how it would work or not. That was the thing I loved about Mrs. Gravestone’s class was that every campaign provided data, and even if it didn’t succeed, you learned what hit and what didn’t. It was about experimenting, like what time of day was best to post based on the end-user? Was it Wednesdays at three or Fridays at four?
Yes. This is better. Thinking about school shoved Luca thoughts into the back part of my mind where they should stay, untouched, forever. I locked my mental box. I tossed the key out the window, never to be found again.
Avoiding thinking about Luca in that capacity would be the only way to stay safe.
