I wake up in a bed I’ve woken up in a thousand times before. More than that, actually. My parents swapped out a double for this queen when I was ten. The blue walls and white curtains have decorated the room for over a decade. The scratch of Skye’s paws as she tries to claw her way through the door is also familiar.
But something’s different. The covers feel warmer. The mattress seems smaller.
I roll over, and the answer is staring me in the face. In the form of a very bare, very muscular, very male back.
Yeah, that’s new.
There’s nothing stopping me from staring at him, so I do. At the tan line just above the edge of the tangled sheets that cover him from the waist down. At the strong lines of muscle leading to his bunched shoulders. At the brown hair peeking out from underneath the pillow concealing the rest of his head.
Gray Phillips is in my bed. With me.
Gray Phillips is in my bed.
With me.
Holy.
Shit.
Even if I woke up to men in my bed on a regular basis, this would be a shock. Since I don’t, this feels like a pinch me moment. I squeeze the skin inside my elbow. The flare of pain disappears in seconds. The guy beside me doesn’t.
What do I do? Pretend to be asleep? Brush my teeth? Get dressed?
I hadn’t expected last night to end the way it did. I definitely hadn’t expected for him to spend the night. I would have faced this dilemma the first time we slept together, but certain events had happened.
Before I can decide what to do—much less do it—Skye lets out a loud howl. I glance at the alarm clock—7:02. It’s her patented why haven’t you already fed me yowl.
When I look back over, I’m staring at Gray’s face, not his impressively formed back.
One green eye blinks at me. The other is still hidden in the folds of the pillow. “Morning.” His voice is scratchy with sleep.
“Morning.” Mine is quiet. Shy. “You’re still here.” Words that could be interpreted as rude, I guess. I’m just confused. Surprised. I don’t think this is proper one-night stand etiquette.
“Yep.” There’s another yowl, and he props himself up on his elbows. “What the hell is that noise?”
“It’s Skye’s way of saying good morning.”
“That little cat is making that sound?”
I laugh. “Yeah. I’ll go feed her.” I slide out of bed, trying to ignore the fact that I can feel his eyes on me. I pick up the towel that spent the night on the floor, wrap it around myself, and walk into the bathroom.
My eyes widen when I look at my appearance in the mirror above the sink. I look…well, I look like I was thoroughly fucked. My hair is messy, my lips are swollen, and there’s a hickey on my neck. I wet my toothbrush and squirt some toothpaste on the bristles. I start brushing with my right hand as I work on fixing my hair with my left.
This feels normal. I’m usually rushed in the mornings, hurrying to get to the hospital. I relax some, melting into a routine. Until things shift from expected into unexpected again.
Gray walks into the bathroom. I stop brushing. Unlike me, he didn’t bother to put anything on. He’s still completely naked. I choke a little, the sharp tang of mint burning the back of my throat.
I can’t look him in the eye. I’m looking lower.
He’s hard. Is it because it’s morning, or is it because of me?
He’s looking at me like it’s me.
The bathroom attached to my childhood bedroom is small. I still had to fight Noah for the room with the en suite. The other full bathroom is twice the size, but it requires walking down the hallway. This bathroom has never felt tinier than it does right now.
He approaches me deliberately. I’ve always admired that about Gray. He doesn’t shirk away from what he wants. When he chose the Air Force Academy over Duke, he wore a USAF baseball cap every single day for months. Noah was upset—they’d talked about attending Duke together for years. His basketball teammates were disappointed—he would have had a spot on Duke’s highly competitive team. And Henry—well, I’m not really sure there’s a word to describe a man who’s had a dream shattered. Was it fair of him to pin all that on Gray? Probably not, but he did anyway.
Gray still wore the hat.
“Cat stopped screaming,” he tells me.
“She’ll start back up again soon. She’s just regrouping.”
Gray smirks, then takes the toothbrush from me, adds more toothpaste, and sticks it in his mouth. He watches me as he brushes and spits. A little toothpaste remains on his lip. Slowly, I reach out and wipe it off.
His hands land on my hips. And suddenly I’m not leaning against the counter. I’m sitting on it. Gray watches me closely as he reaches for the knot holding the towel up and then jerks it open.
“You really don’t like this towel, huh?” My voice sounds breathy. Eager.
“I really like pulling it off of you.” He steps closer so that he’s standing between my legs. His bare skin brushes against mine.
“Is this why you spent the night?”
He considers my question, then says, “I’ve never had sex in a bathroom.”
I study him. “Never?”
“Never,” he confirms.
“So…this would be your first time?”
Gray smirks. “Sure.”
I run my hands up the back I was just admiring. “I heard there’s a first time for everything.”
A dimple pops out, creasing his cheek like a comma.
Impulsively, I lean forward and lick it.
“I’ve heard that too.”
Then, he’s kissing me—a kiss I feel everywhere. He’s everywhere.
With a muttered curse, he pulls away. “Hang on. I need to grab a condom.”
“Wait! I have one—I think.” I move my leg to the side and lean over, pulling out one of the drawers just below the marble edge. In the very back is the box of Band-Aids I’m looking for. I open it and shake three condoms out.
Gray laughs. “How long have those been there?”
“High school. Sloane and I went out to buy them.” I squint at the small letters. “Do you think they’re expired?”
“Definitely.”
“Damn it.” I toss them back in the drawer.
Gray walks back into the bedroom, still chuckling. But when he returns with a foil package in hand, he looks serious.
“Who were they for?”
“Huh?”
He’s rolling the condom on, and it’s a distracting sight.
“The condoms. Who were they for?”
“Oh. Um…” The only guy I fantasized about having sex with back in high school was…him. “No one. Obviously. I never used them.”
Something in Gray’s expression makes me think he knows the real answer. I don’t think he was oblivious to my feelings for him when we were younger. It’s just something we never discussed. And it’s definitely not something I want to discuss right now. Thankfully, he doesn’t seem to either. He thrusts inside of me—deeper and faster than I expected, even though I was expecting it. There’s no pause this time. No asking if I’m okay. It’s rough and fast and greedy and desperate, and I love every second of it.
I’ll never be able to look at this bathroom counter the same way again.
“What about this one?”
“A minivan? Seriously?”
Gray shrugs. “You said under ten thousand.”
“I need a car to drive myself to and from work. I’m not transporting six kids to soccer practice.”
“Yet.”
I eye him. “What does that mean?”
“Don’t you want kids?”
“I don’t know,” I reply, flustered. “I mean, probably. Maybe. Why? Do you?”
It feels extremely weird to be discussing kids with the guy I’m currently sleeping with. Or that I’ve slept with—a total of three times, to be specific—since I’m not sure if it’s going to happen again. Family planning didn’t come up between sex on the bathroom counter and him offering to come car shopping with me over breakfast. I’ve never discussed marriage with a guy, let alone kids. I didn’t even know Logan’s Starbucks order.
“Nah, I don’t think so.”
“Why not?”
“I’m similar to my dad in a lot of ways.”
I wait, but he doesn’t add anything else. “Yeah, I know.”
“So…I’d worry that I’d be like him as a dad.”
“Oh.” That’s my response when I don’t know what my response should be.
Gray’s expression turns wry. “I know you think my dad is—”
“I think your dad is a good person,” I interrupt. “I think he’s smart. I think he’s accomplished. He’s a great boss. Well…my boss’s boss’s boss technically. But he’s not my dad. I don’t know what it’s like to have him as a dad. I can respect him as a doctor and my chief and the guy who judged the school science fair because I asked him to and still think that it’s shitty that he removed the Duke Dad sticker from his car and never replaced it with an Air Force one.”
Gray stares at me. “I broke his heart. His father and grandfather both went to Duke. Became doctors. I got in…I could’ve gone, and I think that’s the worst part for him. I got in, and I walked away.”
“Why did you?”
He shrugs. “I realized I’d never meet his expectations. I decided it was better to stop trying, especially when it wasn’t what I wanted.”
“Why the Air Force?”
“It’s a rush. A high. The work I do…it’s important. I’m good at it. And I thought…” He lets out a dry laugh. “I thought my dad would get over it. Might respect it. Nine years later, he’s still holding a grudge.”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
“And say what? Ask him to respect the decision I made nearly a decade ago? He knows, Evie. He knows I’m too stubborn to bury the hatchet first, and even if I wasn’t? What do I have to apologize for? Choosing my own path? He should respect that, not resent it.”
I nod. “You’re right.”
Gray’s face shows surprise. He obviously thought I would defend his dad.
“And you shouldn’t assume I’ll take someone else’s side over yours. Because honestly? Most of the time, I’ll take yours.” The words are honest—too honest.
I respect Gray. My attraction to him has never been superficial. I’ve always thought he was the best-looking guy in the room. But I more admire the characteristics you have to know him to see. I might not see him as a brother, but I’d defend him as viciously as I would Noah. Even against another man I respect.
“I’m sorry about dinner last night. I was pissed she invited you like some sort of referee.”
“I didn’t realize how…tense things were.”
“Yeah, well…” Gray shrugs. “It is what it is.”
“Are you interested in test-driving this one, Evie?”
I startle at the sound of Steve’s, the car salesman who’s been helping us, voice. I look away from Gray’s intense gaze, and it all sinks back in slowly. The rows of cars. The dealership building in the background. Steve and his slicked-back hair, hovering.
What the hell? I came here for a car, and this seems to be the only option. “Yeah, sure.”
Steve beams and pulls out a key. “Excellent!” He looks at Gray. “Will you be accompanying her?”
Gray makes a face but agrees. “Yeah, why not?”
“I just need to make a copy of your license, miss.”
I pull it out of my wallet and hand it to him.
“Thank you. I’ll be right back!”
As soon as Steve disappears, Gray speaks as if we weren’t in the midst of an intense conversation before he interrupted. “So, now, you are considering the mom-mobile?”
“You suggested it!”
“You said ten thousand was the top of your budget. This is the only car they have under ten thousand, so…”
I sigh. “I know.” Who knew Hondas were so expensive? Not this millennial.
Gray eyes me like he’s trying to decide whether to say something. “Last I checked, doctors don’t make pennies.”
“Residents don’t make much. And I have a lot of debt from school.”
“Wouldn’t your parents—”
I cut him off. “I don’t want to ask my parents for money.”
He nods as Steve returns with my license.
“Here you go!”
“Thanks.” I take it from him before climbing into the driver’s seat. Gray takes the passenger side.
“Damn. This has comfy seats,” he comments, reclining the chair way back.
I roll my eyes as I flip through the radio stations, trying to find a song I like. When I glance over at Gray, he’s looking at me, no longer admiring the seats. There’s a small smile on his face. “What?”
“Nothing,” he replies.
I shift into drive and pull out of the lot.
“You can probably drive over the speed limit. No self-respecting cop would pull a minivan over; just assume you’re rushing to the hospital to have your third kid.”
“Gray!”
He just laughs. A reluctant grin tugs at my lips as I drive a few more blocks and then turn around to return to the lot.
“Should I get it? It’s way too big, but I really need a car. I’m going to have to go back to taking the bus once my parents get back from Italy.”
“Remember Jay Harper from high school?”
“Um, no?”
“He was on the basketball team with me.”
“What gave you the impression I memorized the high school’s boys’ basketball roster?”
“You came to some of the games.”
“Not because of Jay Harper, obviously. I have no idea who he is.”
Gray lets out a combination of a laugh and a sigh. “Well, he went to high school with us. Now, he has a dealership just down the road. A new branch of his dad’s place. You should look there before buying this. It’s close by.”
“Why didn’t you say that from the start?”
“You said you wanted to come here,” he reminds me. “I’m just along for the ride. Literally.”
Steve is excited when we return the minivan without a scratch and full of praise for the reclining seats. He’s far less pleased when I mention I’ll have to think it over, handing me two copies of his business card, one “just in case” I lose the first.
Gray wasn’t downplaying the distance to the other dealership. It takes about three minutes to drive there. If I’d turned left instead of right on the test drive, we would have gone right past it.
I eye the rows of shiny cars with some trepidation. If the minivan was in my budget, I doubt any of these are. Gray is right; I could probably afford to get something nicer. But the only impulsive thing I’ve ever done in my life is…him. Gray grew up with money. My parents made smart financial decisions, but we never had extra money lying around. I invested in a high-paying career that would pay off my debt—eventually. But right now, I have a lot of it.
“Gray!” A guy who looks to be in his mid-twenties—Jay, I’m assuming—strolls toward us. “Man, it’s good to see you!”
“Hey, Jay,” Gray responds, doing that hug and back slap thing guys do.
“You’re not here to trade the Jeep in already, are you?”
“Nah, it still runs great.” He nods toward me. “You remember Evie Collins?”
Jay’s eyes widen as he looks at me, then glances at Gray. I feel like I might be missing something.
“Yes—yeah, of course. How have you been, Evie?”
“Not bad. You?”
“Good. You’re back in town?”
“Yeah, I just moved back to Charleston. Which is why we’re here. I need a car.”
Jay smiles. “Well, you’ve come to the right place.” He looks at Gray again. “Are you two…”
“No! He just gave me a ride.”
Gray smirks behind Jay’s back.
“A ride here,” I clarify.
I stick my tongue out at Gray when Jay turns away to study the row of cars, oblivious to the subtext.
“What are you looking for?” Jay asks me.
“Just a car to commute in. So, good gas mileage would be a plus, I guess.” I have nothing else to add to the list. My automotive knowledge could barely fill a pamphlet.
“Oh, where are you commuting to?”
“Charleston General.”
“Are you a nurse there?”
I decide I don’t like Jay all that much after the quick assumption. “Doctor, actually.”
“Wow. Impressive.”
“Thanks.”
We stop beside a cherry-red MINI Cooper.
“What do you think of this? You’re in luck; it just got traded in yesterday. It got a full inspection already. It needs a few minor tune-ups, but it will be good to go in a week or so.”
I love it, but I’m not about to say that. “It could work. How much?”
Jay flips through some papers he’s holding. “We were going to list it at eleven thousand two hundred dollars. But I’d give you the friends and family discount—ten thousand five hundred.”
I glance at Gray, who gives me an encouraging nod. “Can I drive it?”
“Yep. Of course. Let me just grab the keys.”
I look back at Gray as soon as Jay disappears. “Seven hundred off for a stranger? This guy is legit, right?”
“You think I brought you to some black-market car lot?” He sounds more amused than offended.
“Of course not. I trust you.” The words slip out without me thinking about them, but they’re true. Especially because I didn’t have to think about them—at all. “I just…it’s weird, right?”
“He had a thing for you in high school.”
I look over my shoulder to make sure Jay isn’t in sight. He’s not. “He did?”
“Uh-huh.”
“But…it’s been years.” Not that I’m not in a position to judge the length of other people’s crushes. “He’s never even talked to me.”
Gray shrugs. “Noah warned him off.”
“Did he warn other guys off?” Did he warn you off?
Another shrug. “Probably.”
“Here you go.” Jay reappears with keys. “I realized I forgot to copy your license.”
“Oh.” I start digging through my bag.
“Don’t worry about it. I know where Phillips lives.” Jay laughs; Gray and I don’t.
“Okay.” I give Jay a tight, small smile before taking the keys from him and approaching the red car. I open the door and turn to Gray. “You coming?”
He eyes the small car. “I’m not sure if I’ll fit.”
“I thought you said you were up to the challenge?”
Gray’s eyes dart to me, shock mixing with the green. I smirk.
“I’ll, uh, I’ll be around when you get back.” Jay seems to have caught on to the subtext in this conversation.
I feel Gray’s gaze on me as I adjust the seat and start the engine. “What?”
“Nothing. Just…the minivan had better legroom.”
I laugh.
An hour later, a warm breeze fans across my face, sending strands of my blonde hair flying. I fling my hand out the open window, letting the air rush between my fingers as the sun warms the skin. There’s something about driving with the windows down on a summer day that soothes the soul.
It’s never felt quite this perfect, though.
Maybe it’s the Lana Del Rey song on the radio about being young and in love.
Maybe it’s the guy sitting next to me.
I roll my head, so I’m looking at Gray instead of the scenery. The wind is tugging at his hair too; there’s just less to grasp at. Tendons tense in his forearm as he turns the steering wheel of his Jeep. Rays of sunlight filter down from the blue sky, framing his profile.
He glances over and catches me staring at him. “What?”
I shake my head, hoping my cheeks were already flushed from the heat. “Nothing.”
A brief, disbelieving hum is barely audible over the stereo. “I’m supposed to swing by the base. Do you mind if we stop before I drop you off?”
Excitement courses through me. “No, of course not. I’m just along for the ride.”
Gray laughs under his breath as he merges onto the highway.
It takes ten minutes to reach the joint base. Traffic thickens around the airport, but Gray’s Jeep is the only car that approaches the iron gate. I crane my neck to look past the fencing as Gray scans his badge and waves at the gate attendant.
“Wow,” I say when we start to crawl ahead. “This place is massive.”
The front gate gave no indication of the size and scale of the base. We pass a playground, a coffee shop, rows of townhouses, a chapel, tennis courts, basketball courts, a pool, and a barbershop. It’s like a miniature city.
“Yeah. It’s over three thousand acres.”
“I had no idea.” I feel like I should have, having grown up here. “How many members of the military work out of here?”
Gray flicks on his blinker and turns. “Eh, active? Probably at least ten thousand. A lot more if you count reserves and contractors. Not to mention retirees. The Naval Weapons Station holds a lot of manpower and so does the Coast Guard sector.”
I bite back another Wow.
A massive warehouse-looking building appears on the right. Gray parks beside it.
“I’ve got to run inside for a minute. Feel free to look around. Anyone says anything to you, just tell them my name. Okay?”
“Okay.”
I watch him stride toward the building in his white T-shirt and faded jeans, and then I open the Jeep door and climb out. Now that we’ve stopped moving, there’s no breeze to counteract the temperature. Heat radiates off the asphalt, shimmering in the still air. I wander over to the shaded sidewalk, watching as a group of men jog by in camo pants and light-green T-shirts. Once they pass, I turn to the left and walk toward the building Gray entered. When I reach the front, I realize it’s a hangar. At least ten aircraft fill the expansive space. They all look brand-new with gleaming paint and clean lines.
I stare at the massive machines, trying to imagine Gray flying one.
“Wanna go for another test drive?”
I spin to see Gray approaching me. “You mean…”
“Yeah. I’ve got to check a couple of things before we add these to the fleet.”
“Um, I’m good. Thanks. I find flying in a passenger plane stressful enough. Never mind that.” I wave a hand at the sleek, small aircraft.
Rather than tease me, his face softens. “You trust me, right?”
“Phillips!” a gray-haired man calls from a doorway in the corner, which I can see leads to a small office. “You’re good to go in the Raptor. Take FY7K, okay?”
“Got it,” Gray replies. To me, he says, “It’s just a fly by, Evie.”
“Is that code for something?”
“No.” He smiles. “Just a quick pass. If anyone’s watching the sky, we’ll be gone before they realize we’re there.”
Sounds like him.
“Is that supposed to be comforting?”
“I’d ask for you if I had a heart attack.”
“I’m not even a cardiologist yet.”
He smirks. “Exactly. So, you coming?”
I take a deep breath. And then I give the answer I always seem to give him. “Yes.”
A smile breaks across his face like the rising sun. “Let’s go.”
I know absolutely nothing about planes, but the one Gray is leading me toward looks like a menacing one. It’s a dark shade of gray, with a combination of identifying letters and numbers painted on the side in black. The cockpit is tiny, and the wings are broad. The exterior is sleek and streamlined, but also dangerous-looking. I think that before I spot the missiles tucked under the wings.
Gray follows my gaze. “Don’t worry; they’re not activated yet.”
“Once again, not comforting.”
I make a decidedly ungraceful entrance into the small plane. The last time I was in an aircraft was when I came home for Christmas a year and a half ago. The interior of that plane was large and spacious in comparison to this. There are only two seats. I sink down into one, and Gray takes a seat beside me. He hands me a headset before he begins flipping switches and pressing buttons. The engine roars, and the radio crackles.
“I’m not going to have to do anything, am I?” I ask into the mouthpiece.
His voice comes through the headset a few seconds later. “Nah, I could get in trouble for that.”
“But not for this?”
“Not unless we crash.” He spots my expression and grins. “We’re not going to crash, Evie.”
“You promise?”
Gray stops fiddling with the controls. His right hand drops to my thigh. He squeezes. “I don’t make promises I’m not certain I can keep. But I’m better at flying than you are at driving, if that makes you feel any better.”
“I’m an excellent driver.”
“Uh-huh.” He shoots me a smile that makes my heart race for reasons unrelated to the fact that we’re about to be thousands of feet above the ground. His hand moves back to the controls.
The plane starts moving. Slow at first as we roll away from the hangar and other aircraft. But then there’s nothing in front of us but a long stretch of asphalt, marked with yellow and white lines. I know what that means, even before the scenery starts to blur by. The speed is stunning.
“This is my favorite part.” His voice grounds me, even as we lift up off of it.
It’s a rush. In seconds, Charleston is spread below us, and the sky surrounds us. Fluffy clouds float by like cotton candy. Streets that I know stretch miles long shrink to thin strips, separating buildings and neighborhoods. As impressive of a view as it is, I find myself mostly studying him. Watching him speak codes and flip switches and fly. Not many people can fly.
He catches me, just like he did in the car earlier. After studying him so intently, I could probably draw his profile from memory.
The small smile he was already wearing grows. “You good?”
Rather than answer, I say, “I’m glad you went to the Academy.”
His expression turns serious. I wonder if anyone has ever said that to him before.
“I’m glad you came back to Charleston.”
I smile at him before looking back out at the clouds.
