I memorized Ben’s features as he dozed next to me in bed. He had fallen asleep as soon as his knot went down enough to slip from my body, but had kept a firm hand on my hip, pulling me to him even in sleep. I smiled at the thought that I had tired out my alpha.
I couldn’t resist tracing my fingers down the stubble lining his jaw, shivering at the memory of what it had felt like between my thighs. His lips were red and soft, his dark curls falling messily on the pillow.
Ben’s eyes fluttered open and he stretched before pulling me closer. His blue eyes met mine, his skin crinkling with his smile.
“Sorry I fell asleep,” he murmured, pressing his face into my hair and breathing deeply. His mouth-watering apple scent was mixed with my vanilla, and I held back the urge to lick every inch of his skin.
“S’okay,” I responded, snuggling into his chest.
“How’re you feeling?” he asked.
“Good.” I let the half-truth slip out. I knew I should feel good, but a restlessness was growing in my chest.
Ben tilted my chin so he could meet my gaze. “Want to try that again?”
“Are Cam and Theo mad at me?” I blurted out.
“No, precious,” he said with a sigh, kissing me on the forehead.
“Then why are they hiding?”
I’d loved my time with Ben, but waking up this morning without my other alphas had stung, especially after how embarrassed I felt after my meltdown last night. Theo and Cam had been so tender with me, but now it felt like they didn’t want to be around me.
“Idiots,” he muttered under his breath. “I promise their reaction has nothing to do with you. Even as teenagers, they both had this need to protect everyone around them… maybe because they couldn’t protect themselves from their fathers’ abuse. They saw me as a vulnerable kid and brought me into their pack. I’ve never wanted to be aggressive and fight. I’d just rather get along with people, and that put a target on my back.” He shrugged as if this was some sort of flaw. I shifted so I was straddling him, needing to look him in the eye.
“I love that about you,” I said, cupping his face. He leaned into my touch with a soft smile.
“I love everything about you,” he responded.
I rolled my eyes but couldn’t stop from blushing. “Cheesy.”
“You love it.”
A smile tugged at my lips. He was right.
“Those idiot alphas we love so much don’t know what to do with their feelings. They both feel guilty about not protecting you. Fuck, I feel guilty about that, too.” He averted his eyes.
“Not your fault,” I said softly, resisting the urge to touch my arm.
“Yeah, well…” Ben responded, trailing off. “Cam deals with his emotions through fighting. He wants to neutralize the threat and can’t do that right now. Theo deals by withdrawing. He gets so anxious… I can feel him through the bond. It’s like he thinks if he does enough work, he can make everything right.”
My heart broke for my sweet, sensitive alphas, but my insecurity still plagued me.
“Are you sure it’s not something I did?”
“Absolutely sure. Doesn’t make it right, though. They should be here with you. Not that I’m complaining,” he said, gripping my bare thighs. “They’re so jealous right now.” He winked.
“I’m going to see if I can find them,” I said, biting my lip.
“Good,” he said with a grin, helping me off the bed and tugging one of his sweatshirts over my head. “I’m going to get started on dinner.”
I popped into the bathroom to tug on my sweatpants and try to fix my hair. It had dried in ridiculous waves and I did my best to tame it.
Ben was waiting for me outside the bathroom. I leaned in for a kiss and whimpered as he deepened it, gripping my ass hard. When he pulled away, I was a breathless mess. He winked before giving me a little push out the bedroom door.
