My chest is on fire. My lungs are screaming for air and my heart is thumping inside my rib cage at a frenzied pace, but I can’t force any semblance of calm into myself as I stare across the room at Atlas, his eyes hard but steady on mine.
I can’t look at Sage right now, not with the sight of her killing Dara still clear in my head even though the image Gryphon had sent me has faded away. Atlas’ eyes bore into mine, his own anger at the betrayal of my closest friend simmering just under the surface, but to say anything right now, with two of her Bonds here with us, is a nightmare sort of situation.
Things could escalate so freaking quickly.
Especially considering that Felix is healing up the scrapes and bruises all over me, so his hands are directly on my skin. Kieran is a highly trained TacTeam operative who has more training and skills than the three of us combined… plus there’s the small fact that he’s a Transporter and could just disappear with her the moment we say anything.
There’s a small part of me that wants him to, that wants him to get her the hell out of here before the consequences of her actions catch up with her because, well, she’s my best friend. Does that make me a terrible person?
Maybe, but the small voice in the back of my mind definitely crosses that line for me, whispering that my bond could take care of all of this for us.
I don’t want it to though, and… strangely, it’s quiet in my gut, as though the feast of the Charge’s soul was enough to put it into a short slumber.
Does that mean I’m safe in this room right now and this is all just some huge misunderstanding? Or does it mean that I’ve finally got a blind spot, a small mistake that my bond has made to let a Resistance spy close to us all?
My head feels as though it’s about to explode with all of the unknowns and betrayals. Why did it have to be Sage, of all people?
Felix’s voice snaps me out of my spiraling thoughts. “Oli, your heart rate is insane right now. Take a breath. Is this a panic attack because your bond came out or something else? Gabe, grab her some water, and, Atlas, you might want to get your shirt off to start a transfer. She needs something.”
My eyes snap back over to them both, but neither of them move at Felix’s commands or attempt to answer him.
Gabe stares at me and I blink back at him, hoping he can read enough of my face to keep his cool here and not question any of the crazy that’s happening right now.
I’ve told him what’s going on, just stay calm. We’re on our way.
I swallow at the tense sound of Gryphon’s voice in my mind, but I can’t find the words to send anything back to him. I can’t figure out how to address any of this without breaking the fuck down.
Sage can’t be a spy.
She just fucking can’t.
“You look really sick, Oli, should we… get you back to your place to rest?” Sage says in her same sweet and caring tone that I’m now doubting and reading into like she’s a criminal mastermind, because what the actual fuck is going on here?
I clear my throat and say, my voice sounding all sorts of messed up, “It’s— I’m fine. I think it’s my bond acting up, nothing I can’t handle.”
Sage gives me a concerned look back, empathy and warmth flooding out of her in my direction like it always does, and my chest tightens even more. Kieran frowns at me and glances at my Bonds, and the lines around his mouth only deepen. He knows something is up but before he can call us out on it, the cavalry arrives.
Thank fuck.
I feel him before I see it.
My eyes flick down to the tendrils of smoke streaming in from under the door, but I look away quickly, hoping no one else notices it.
Of course, Felix does.
His hands slip away from me as he stands, moving towards Sage. He only makes it a single step before the smoke floods the space, a tendril curling around his ankles and stopping him from any further movement. He lets out a yelping sound, like he was thinking coherent words but the fear of the nightmare smoke dried up his rational thoughts, but it’s too late. The smoke wraps around Kieran and Sage, pulling them both apart and rendering them completely immobile. Kieran is frowning but not resisting, his eyes snapping around the room at us all and taking note of the way that the smoke is targeting his Bond Group alone.
When he turns to me, I look away, not wanting him to see my own reaction to what is happening here.
Sage, who is clearly panicking and making my heart hurt even more in my chest with her wide eyes and shaking voice says, “Oli, what the hell is this? What is going on? Why is North—”
The door opens and Nox steps through, one of his creatures at his feet in its savage Doberman form, its sharp and deadly teeth exposed as it snarls at the entire room, and drawls in his most acidic and dangerous tone, “Not North, though he’s on his way with a lot of questions for you, Benson. You might want to start working out your answers, and quickly, because betraying us all in full view of the security cameras wasn’t the brightest thing you’ve ever done.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean, Draven?” Felix snaps, still struggling against the smoke, but Kieran just stares at him with cold eyes.
“Let me go. I’m going to North now.”
Nox scoffs at him and steps across the room, circling Sage as more of his creatures take form amongst the smoke and fall into line around him. Brutus rumbles under my ear, not as a warning, but as a comfort to me so I know he’s still there and ready to step in if I need it. I have no doubt he will, not a single fleeting doubt has ever filled me about his loyalty to me, and I raise a hand up to pet him, even as it shakes just a little.
I can’t look at Sage right now.
I’ll either break down or start screaming.
Nox takes another step into the center of the room, the smoke thickening until my eyes have to shift to see clearly through it. He answers Kieran, “I just said he’s on his way and that none of you are going anywhere. If I had things my way, you’d all be locked up until Gryph can sift through every little second of your lives and find out whether it’s just Benson, or if you’re all in on this. I thought more of you than this, Black, but nothing here will really surprise me. Not even you betraying us all—”
Sage makes a noise like she’s struggling for air, but it’s more of an outraged sort of thing, and I still can’t force myself to look her way yet.
Kieran makes his own sound of outrage and strains against the ropes of smoke, even though they don’t budge. “Betraying you? What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Just because you have your own little bullshit mission here, trying to psych out your Bond because you’re absolutely fucked—”
Oh, I don’t like that.
Neither does my bond, waking up finally to the absolute mess we’re in, but when I poke at it, expecting a whispered threat or something, it’s silent. Wary and watchful, but silent.
I mean, I know that we have our problems, a whole fucking pile of problems. But they’re our problems to deal with. Someday. Maybe.
They’re not up for public discussion.
Atlas’ voice is sharp as it cuts through the haze and through Kieran’s tirade. “She murdered our Shield. Sawyer just showed the evidence of it to North and Gryphon. This isn’t some inside job, Black. This is us keeping everyone in the Sanctuary safe, not just our friends and family. If her brother was the one to start this, then there’s absolutely nothing you can say to Draven about this being a witch hunt. Besides, look at what this is doing to Oli… If you believe nothing else, do you think I’d be standing here and letting him do this to her if I hadn’t just seen Sage murder that woman myself?”
There’s a stunned sort of silence, and then I startle at the booming sounds of doors being slammed open and dozens of sets of boots stomping through the medical center, signaling that the cavalry has finally arrived. I take my first real, deep breath and then another one.
Still, Sage doesn’t try to defend herself or speak a word.
Is she just too scared to try? Does she know that Gryphon is listening through me, his gift flooding me and watching everything that’s happening here and waiting for a sign that maybe she is a willing participant in… all of this?
Or is she waiting for me, her best friend and most loyal confidant, to defend her and get her the hell out of this mess like I always have?
I want to be sick.
North and Gryphon step into the room, a group of Tac personnel behind them, and I move over to them instinctively, seeking out my Bonded to get me through this cluster-fuck of a situation. North catches my face in his hands and tilts my head back until he’s staring into the black voids of my eyes. Whatever he sees there, he doesn’t like, and his mouth hardens even more.
He leans forward just a little, his brother’s smoke still obscuring us both from everyone else’s view as he murmurs to me quietly, “Go home and get some rest. I’ll take care of this. Stay with Atlas and Gabe and just leave it to me to handle, Bonded.”
“Oli?” Sage says, her voice trembling a little. Even though it hurts me, I finally look up at her and, thanks to my void-like eyes, I can see her clear as day.
She looks terrified.
The words tumble out of me as I scramble out of the door, “I’ll be back, Sage. Just… just answer all of their questions. We’ll figure it out.”
It only occurs to me as Gabe and Atlas each flank either side of me that Nox had put himself between the other Bond Group and I.
As we step out together in the afternoon sun, I feel the flutters of anxiety deep in my stomach. The destruction from the Resistance soldiers is everywhere around us. Cars are overturned, craters are in the once freshly paved roads, and debris littering the ground everywhere.
I try not to get upset looking at everything that North and his family have worked so hard for us all to have that’s now been destroyed for nothing but the Resistance’s whims and sadistic games. It’s all so fucking pointless, and the ripples of irritation tug at my bond in my chest that has gone back into its dormant and resting state, as though I actually want the cantankerous bitch to wake up.
I still can’t figure out why it’s sleeping.
Atlas wraps an arm around my shoulders to tuck me into his side closely while Gabe takes my other hand.
“Everything is going to be okay, Sweetness,” Atlas murmurs into my hair as we start off, but I don’t have anything to say back to that.
I know that we’re going to survive it. I know that North and Gryphon are going to go into full damage control mode and fix the leaks that caused today to happen. But as I blink away tears, I can’t help but feel as though things are not going to be okay.
Sage was the person who kept me going here when everyone hated me. She’d loved me and accepted me from the moment we’d sat together in the dining hall, without question. Our mutual ‘outsider’ labels and social shunning had been the draw, but it was the sassy and strong heart of her that won me over.
If I lose her, I won’t be okay.
The panicked flutter in my chest starts up again, stealing my breath. It’s as though we’re once again moments away from our Bond Group being torn apart. The little bit of peace I’ve found here in the Sanctuary is gone with one swipe from the Resistance. They’ve just taken a swing at us and, through Sage, I have taken a direct hit.
She’s my best goddamn friend, and if she’s been a spy this whole time… I can’t even process that. I don’t even want to try.
I can’t find the words to say this to either of them though, not without causing them both to go on some sort of killing spree in my honor. I swallow roughly around the lump in my throat and duck my head in an attempt to block out the carnage as we make our way over to the house.
All I want is a hot shower and a bed to hide in for the rest of the day, any bed really, I’m not fussy. We fall into an uncomfortable silence, but it’s clear they can both tell I’m upset. Gabe’s hand is tense in mine, and Atlas continues to pull me closer into his body as we walk, as though he will somehow be able to absorb all of my worries and fears if he can get close enough. I can’t find the words to comfort either of them.
When we make our way past North’s offices and the dining hall, Gabe squeezes my hand gently before pulling us all to a stop. I keep my eyes down and he squeezes my hand again to get my attention.
“Look around, Bond. Everything really is going to be okay here.”
I glance up and look in the direction that he’s pointing to find a long line of TacTeam operatives and civilians surrounding the front steps of the dining hall.
Everyone is helping out to move away the debris and rubble that is blocking the path and the doors, while the chef and kitchen staff are standing out front with trestle tables, all of them covered with enough food to feed an army.
There’s a group of children standing around laughing and giggling with disposable containers of something hot and delicious looking in their hands, munching away on crusty bread and chatting amongst themselves.
All of the adults around them are covered in dirt and dust, but have smiles on their faces where the kids can see them. Whenever the children look away, you can see their parents grimacing and looking concerned at the state of things, but they’re all coming together to set things right.
Gabe holds my hand up to press a kiss to the back of it and murmurs quietly, “This place was never going to stay a secret for long, but I still think it’s worth it. I still think keeping these people safe is worth it, Bond. We’re exactly where we need to be. We’re all safe here because of you.”
I swallow again, my voice still trapped somewhere in my chest, but this time, I don’t feel as if I’m being choked with guilt and terrible emotions.
As we head back off towards the house, Atlas offers to grab me something to eat as we pass the amazing smells from the dining hall, but I decline. I can’t think about food right now, not with the memory of my bond munching on a soul in my gut still so fresh.
My stomach churns at the mere thought of it.
It’s only as we’re walking back up the stairs that I remember our water contamination issues and the fact that I’m still not allowed to take a shower. Tears fill my eyes again but I hastily swipe them away. I’m not going to work this hard to have my shit together only to lose it now over some goddamn hot water.
Gabe notices anyway and runs his thumb over mine, a silent show of support, and I give him a grimacing sort of smile back.
When Atlas finally gets his keys to work and swings open the front door, we find Sawyer and Gray sitting at the table together, waiting for us.
My heart drops to the floor.
Sawyer rolls his eyes at me and pokes a finger in my direction. “Don’t look at me like that, Fallows. I’m here to fix this fucking mess, because we both know my sister didn’t kill someone in cold blood.”
My spine crumples and I slouch towards the table, throwing my arm out dramatically because, dammit, if now isn’t the time to get dramatic, then I don’t know when is. “If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t have ever believed it either, Sawyer. But… How the hell are we going to explain it? I can’t… fuck, what the hell are we going to do? I can’t even blame North, Gryphon, or even Nox for being so forceful about this because… Dara was murdered. Someone needs to be held accountable, and if it’s not Sage, then we need to figure out who it really is and we need to do it now.”
He rolls his eyes at me all over again and pulls his laptop closer to himself, flicking a look at my Bonds, who are both watching us warily from the door like they’re waiting for a moment to jump in and pry us away from each other.
I’m not worried about Sawyer.
I’m his best chance at getting Sage out of this and we both know it. I have no freaking clue how we’re going to do it. There’s a burning sort of guilt inside of me at the fact that I’m still not absolutely sure that she’s innocent here, because I watched the knife slice through Dara’s throat. But there’s no way I’m not going to investigate every second of Sage’s last movements until I’m sure either way.
She’s my best friend, dammit!
I walk over to slump into one of the other chairs at the table, picking the opposite side just so I don’t completely mess with my Bonds’ overprotective natures. The last thing this situation needs is one of them going off. My bond is still silent in my chest in its weird dormant state. It is thoroughly freaking me out, but also that might not be such a bad thing right now.
Sawyer starts clicking away at his keyboard and speaks without bothering to look away from the screen. “Clearly, we need to figure out who it is, and not just because the fucking asshole needs to die for involving my sister in it. Dara was a huge loss, both personally and strategically, but there’s a lot of other assets living inside these walls. Did you know that Unser is here now too? If he gets his throat slit while he’s sleeping or something, then we’re fucked. Not to mention Councilman Hannity and his family. Oh, and then, I don’t know, your entire freaking Bond Group of overachievers and void-eye savages. If someone got the jump on you, then we’d have serious fucking problems.”
Atlas scoffs and walks over to pull out the chair next to mine, perching on the edge of it with a kinetic sort of energy still thrumming through him, as though he’s preparing himself to dive at either one of them if they look like a threat to me. Gabe is less concerned, probably thanks to knowing Sawyer and Gray his entire life, and he slumps in the other seat next to me so that I’m flanked entirely by overprotective Bonds.
Sawyer glances up at the two of them and pulls a face at whatever attitude he’s facing from them, then flicks me a much more sedate face. “Whatever is going on here, the water contamination was the first incident. Sage has already been ruled out of that, right? Why don’t we start there and work our way over to the… murder,” Gray says, all sorts of reasonable and level-headed and zero sass, which makes him a better planner here than the rest of us about a million times over.
I nod and rub a hand over my face, tugging Atlas’ jacket from my shoulders and setting it over my legs. “Okay, so… we start at the beginning. Where were we all this morning when Dara was murdered?”
