I had assumed that they were keeping Sage at the council building in the cells in the basement, the same as they were keeping Atlas’ sister.
I’m not sure why. Everyone had told me that she was being treated differently, better than those that we know are Resistance members, but it hadn’t occurred to me that there would be anywhere else for them to keep her that was as secure.
Gabe and Atlas walk me over to the Tac training building, somewhere I haven’t actually been yet. The only time I had spent with Tac personnel was when we were heading out on a mission, and everything for that is kept at North’s offices at the center of the Sanctuary.
I only knew this place existed because Gryphon spends so much of his time down here, and I’m starting to begrudge it for stealing him away from me.
When we walk through the door, I find a large training center with a smaller, indoor obstacle course through a set of large glass doors that are smaller than the ones at Draven, but still deadly-looking nonetheless. A small cafeteria with dozens of tables and chairs has a cluster of Tac personnel already sitting there, and there are a hell of a lot of security cameras covering every inch of the place.
I feel a little nervous as we step into the building, but only because there are so many eyes on me the moment we get in there. It feels so much more intense than the wary looks and outright staring that I get from people out on the streets of the Sanctuary.
I have to force myself to stand still and not tuck myself in behind Atlas or Gabe.
“It’s okay, they’re all just trying to get a look at Gryphon’s Bonded. The woman that changed everything when the Resistance showed up. They’re all used to having a lot more casualties and facing the disappointment of not bringing people home, but every time you’ve been involved, the survival rates have skyrocketed. You’re sort of a celebrity around here.”
I give Gabe a dark look because I don’t think it’s funny to joke about that sort of thing, but he holds a finger up to cross over his heart as if he’s swearing that he’s telling the truth.
I still think he’s full of shit.
“Lord, help us all. What are you doing in my training center?” booms a loud voice, and I find myself grinning, even though I’m still freaked out by all of the attention.
“Vivian! How did I not know that you were here? I would have come out to harass you so much sooner.”
The scarred, surly-looking man stalks over to us and looks down at me as he crosses his arms over his wide chest, squinting at me as though he is dealing with an unruly child.
It gives me the warm fuzzies because I know that despite anything he might say, this man has a soft spot for me that’s a mile wide. It was one of the few silver linings to attending Draven.
He scoffs. “Well, I’ll be sure to speak to Shore about sending you over here, because if you start hanging around and being a distraction, I’m sure I’ll have to find something for you to do.”
I grin and give him a little bow, full of sass and bordering on mocking, and there are some shocked exclamations around us from the Tac guys as they watch me shoot shit with their infamous trainer. Not that I’m being disrespectful, I would never disrespect this man, but sometimes it’s fun to be able to play around.
“I guess you’re here to see Benson, your gal pal,” he says in a sarcastic tone, and I nod with a small smile.
“She’s gotten herself into some trouble, and we’re here to dig her out of it. There’s absolutely nothing to be concerned about because she is one hundred percent not evil. I know it.”
He gives me a sardonic look and nods slowly. “You just know these things, do you? Because she took out the strongest Shield that we’ve ever had and somebody who was very important to our community.”
I swallow as the smile slides off my face a little bit. I don’t really want to make light of someone’s death. “I know, and I know that that fact will be tearing her up inside. I’m not trying to say that Dara didn’t matter, or that someone shouldn’t be held responsible for her death. But I think that the right person should be held responsible, and that person is not Sage.”
Vivian looks at me for a second longer and then nods. “Well, we’ll just have to see what you guys come up with because you’re right about one thing… She hasn’t stopped crying since she was brought in, and even when she has been offered her Bonds to try and help her get through it, she’s refused. That doesn’t seem like something that a guilty person trying to kill us all in our sleep would do.”
I swallow against the tears that form a lump in my throat.
Gabe respectfully nods at Vivian and then plants a hand at the base of my spine to direct me through the building. I’m surprised that he didn’t join in on our banter at all. It’s not until we get into the elevator that he breaks down and lets out his secret.
“Vivian scares the shit out of me. I once saw him get on the mats with Gryphon, North, and Nox. He beat the shit out of them, one by one. That memory has stuck with me, and I don’t think I will ever be able to look at that man without shaking in my boots.”
I scowl at the security screen in the elevator that shows our images just in case Vivian is watching us in here. I do not like the sound of him raising his hand against any of my Bonded, let alone three of them at once.
“This was early on in their training and they were all still pretty green. I’m not sure he could take them these days, Bonded. But I was young when I saw it go down, and it stuck with me.”
There’s a swirling, violent sort of feeling building up in me and I take a deep, deep breath.
“Yeah, maybe telling my bond about this isn’t a great idea. I’m now feeling as though I should maybe go back up there and pull his soul out through his nostril, and Vivian is one of my favorite people on this earth. So, like, let’s just leave this conversation where it is.”
Atlas scoffs and laughs at me. “How is Vivian one of your favorite people? Didn’t he torture you in your training sessions?”
That’s a simple question to answer. “Because he believed me when no one else did. He didn’t let anyone treat me like shit in his presence, and he didn’t try to coddle me when I started at Tac training. He just let me fall on my face over and over and over again until I figured out how to work the system myself. I think that makes him a great teacher.”
The elevator doors make a chiming noise and open up to show us a long hallway with a set of cells down either side, much like the cellblock under the council building.
I guess if something works, you don’t mess with it. The design sure is creepy, if nothing else.
Sawyer is already in Sage’s cell with her, right at the very end of the hallway. His laptop is waiting on a table outside as he tries to coax her out of her bed, but it’s no use. She’s curled up in a ball with silent tears tracking down her cheeks. It makes my heart drop down to my feet to see because I’ve been there so many times before.
I might seem strong and put together now, but that’s only because I’d spent years on the run having breakdowns in coffee shops, bathrooms, empty gas stations, and in the dirty kitchens of highway diners as I had done whatever odd jobs I could to survive. Yes, I was strong enough to eventually pick myself up, but there’s a process to it. I hate that my friend is learning that and experiencing it firsthand.
I find Felix in the first cell, sitting with his own laptop in front of him and a stack of medical books as he studies, a reminder that he is still technically a student, even though he has become my Bonded Group’s preferred physician.
I stop to speak to him for a moment and, predictably, all he can talk about is our girl. “Please, just help Sage, whatever you need to do to get her out of here. Please, Oli. I can’t take much more of this for her.”
“I know, I’m working on it, I swear,” I reply. “I helped find Giovanna and Riley. Apparently, they’ve both already given information that might help, and I’m here to help Sawyer go through some things and try and present a case to Gryphon and North to get her out. Please don’t be pissed at them for what they’re doing. They just can’t put the safety of the entire community in the hands of somebody who has been caught on camera—” I falter to a stop because I don’t want to say it again out loud, and certainly not here in front of Sage, but Felix nods without another word.
“I get that, and I understand that it takes time. I just need to be with my Bonded again, and she refuses to be anywhere near us.”
I nod and move to the next cell where Kieran is doing push ups like the good little TacTeam leader he is. I scoff at him and revert back to our usual sarcastic friendship. “Really? You’re spending the time trying to buff yourself up? Are you hoping to impress your Bonded with your big, strong muscles when you get out of here? Or are you just trying to get to the point where you can throw her over your shoulder and keep her away from anything that might blink in her direction?”
He huffs as he stands back up, tugging at his shirt as he grabs a bottle of water and downs half of it in one go. “It’s very easy to get complacent if you’re not on top of your training. I asked Shore for a set of dumbbells, but the asshole refused.”
I quirk an eyebrow at him and point a finger. “Watch it, buddy. I might be on Team ‘Get Sage the Fuck Out of Here’ but you’re also not going to bad mouth my Bonded in front of me without hearing from my bond.”
He runs a hand through his hair and mutters under his breath, “Maybe we need your fucking bond to come out to sort this bullshit out.”
His frustration is palpable, and I don’t blame him at all for it. I also feel incredibly frustrated at how little we’ve managed to figure out so far.
He turns back to me and says, oddly sincerely, “Thanks for going to get Riley and that treacherous bitch for us.”
I shrug. “It’s got nothing on snapping your own ankle to rescue your best friend’s Bonded, so don’t go too far out of your way to thank me. I still owe you, big time.”
He smirks at me and I turn away from him to walk over to Sage’s cell at the end of the row, Gabe and Atlas following me without a word between them. I guess they’ve both spent time down here, so there’s not a whole lot for them to say.
Sawyer is already at the door, unlocking it and letting himself out. When he gives me a tight smile, I murmur back, “Why is she so far away from them both? That seems shitty.”
He sighs and rubs a hand over his eyes like he’s just as close to a breakdown as she is. “Because she can’t stop crying. It was driving Felix and Kieran insane. They can still hear and feel it, but their bonds are coping with it better having a little bit of distance from her, and she isn’t putting up so much of a fight about every little thing now that she’s down here. Breathing room or some shit.”
I swallow roughly and nod. “Let me in with her.”
He hesitates and looks over my shoulder at Gabe and Atlas and I huff at him in frustration, my temper flaring to life. “We all know that my bond will not let anything happen to me, and I know that Sage wasn’t responsible for anything. If there is a kill switch inside of her, my bond will intervene. And I’ve had enough Tac training that if she rushes me, I can get her on the ground until one of you guys can come in and defuse it, so you will let me in to see my best friend, and you will never ever look at my Bonded for permission ever again, Sawyer Benson. Or else I will reach inside of your chest and pull your heart out.”
The last few words come directly from my bond and not from me. The change in my voice has Sawyer gulping a little, but it also gets him moving, unlocking the door and letting me in with Sage. I wait until he’s got it locked again behind me before I turn to properly look at my girl.
She doesn’t acknowledge me or look up and when I move straight over to her, I ignore the commentary behind me of intense disapproval as I climb onto her small, uncomfortable bed with her. The second I’m secure there, I wrap my arms around her, pressing her face into my shoulder as her silent tears turn into body-racking sobs.
“I killed her, Oli. I don’t know how or why or anything at all, but I killed her.”
It takes an hour before Sage is able to calm down enough to speak to me properly.
I don’t begrudge the time lying there with my best friend and holding her while she breaks apart though. I know that we can piece her back together and that the Sage Benson who walks out of these cells might be fragile for a little while, but she will be stronger and more resilient than the Sage who woke up the morning of the attacks. I feel a whole lot of sadness about that fact and want to mourn the happy girl that there was before, the same way that I mourned the happy girl that I was before.
Now isn’t the time for that.
Now is the time to hold space for her until we can get her the hell out of here, hopefully today. Once her breathing evens out a little and the tears stop soaking through my shirt, I pull back and rest my head more fully on the pillow beside her. I glance over my shoulder and find Sawyer sitting at the desk with his laptop, tapping away furiously as he works tirelessly to get his sister out of this.
Gabe and Atlas are both staring through the glass at the two of us, ever watchful in case there’s some chance that Sage might attack me. I take a moment to think about whether or not Atlas could actually break one of these walls down to get to me if he needed to and he grins at me as he holds up the key. Apparently my thoughts are way too loud again today if even my non-Neuro Bonded can figure out what I’m thinking.
Gabe is sitting on the floor with one of his knees pulled up, resting his cheek on it as he watches us both. I think he’s slightly more relaxed than Atlas because he truly believes that Sage is innocent and that the only threat is from a foreign force inside of her or a kill switch of some sort that Giovanna might have implanted in some way.
I turn back to Sage and find her staring at me through bloodshot eyes, but the tears have dried up, so now is the time for answers.
My voice is barely more than a whisper, like this is just pillow talk at a slumber party and not a complete freaking nightmare situation, as I say, “Tell me everything. I know you’ve already told everyone else, but tell me exactly what happened and how you were feeling and all of the stuff that you can only tell your best friend. Maybe there’s something in that story that’s missing that can help us. I’m willing to try anything at this point, Sage.”
She nods slowly, but hesitates. “It doesn’t matter though, Oli. Even if we find out that someone has done something to me to make this happen, I still killed someone. Dara’s parents and her Bonds deserve the justice of someone being held responsible for that.”
I nod. “I agree completely, and when I find out who did that to you, I will hold them responsible. Personally. I will set my bond on them gladly, with absolute joy, and we can all watch it tear that person to pieces.”
Sage swallows and shakes her head. “Do you think that’s enough? Would you think that’s enough if this happened to one of your Bonded? It just keeps going through my head over and over again. What would I do if it were Felix or Kieran or even Riley that this had happened to? I would want everyone held responsible, including the person holding the knife.”
I reach out and tuck an errant curl behind her ear. “That’s because you are being harsh on yourself. I know you better than that. There is no way that you would want innocent lives to be taken. The problem is that you don’t see yourself as innocent right now because it was your hand that did it. Sage, if anyone is going to know how that feels, it’s me. I have been used so many times to take lives. I’ve had to learn how to live with that fact. It’s not easy, and a lot of the time I still believe that I deserve to be put to death for what I did, but what it comes down to is that I would never willingly take an innocent person’s life. I know that about myself, and I’m confident in that. I know that about you too, and so I will fight anyone, including you, to get you out of here.”
Sage swallows again and nods, still not looking as though she believes me, but it’s a start, and it’s something to build on. I settle back against the pillow and shut my eyes as she starts working her way through her day.
There’s still nothing there.
That is a warning sign for us. She wakes up in her bed. Kieran and Felix have already gotten up to head out to work for the day. She gets dressed in her running clothes and heads off for her usual morning run, then the Resistance arrives. Kieran finds her and protects her with his TacTeam, including Gryphon. She speaks to Felix, but he’s safe enough treating injuries in the Medical Center.
She has no recollection of anything before then.
We already know from the video footage that she had killed Dara and it must have been sometime during her morning run, but no matter how I poke at her story, she has no memory of it at all.
“There should be something there. I’ve had my mind manipulated before, there’s always a blank spot. There should be a blank spot,” Atlas says, and Sage shakes her head.
“There isn’t any. I’ve spent days going over it all in my mind, but there’s nothing. Nothing, Oli. I swear.”
“No. There’s definitely something,” Sawyer snaps from the table and shifts his laptop around.
I can’t see the screen from where I am, but Atlas and Gabe can, and both of them start cursing viciously. Kieran calls out from his cell, desperate to know what’s going on, and I dive off of the bed to get an eyeful of whichever motherfucker has framed my bestie for goddamned murder because my bond is so fucking ready to go hunting. Lord, I’m ready for it too, none of my usual squeamishness to be found now that it’s Sage’s life on the line here.
I find myself staring at Dara’s murder again, only this time, it’s from another angle. This time, I can see Sage’s eyes.
Sage’s black, empty, void eyes.
