I wake at three-thirty the next morning to take another shower and get ready for today, for leaving the Sanctuary and clearing my best friend’s name.
There’s a lot here that I need to prove, to myself and to Gryphon and my other Bonds, and I refuse to be the liability within the Bond Group. So I’m up, dressed, with my bag packed and my boots laced tightly by the time North’s alarm sounds at four. He groans like he’s being murdered, shoving a pillow over his face and grumbling under his breath dramatically like he’s plotting out a murder for this early wake up. Once he’s moved through the entire list of people he wants his shadows to devour for this insult, he reaches out with one arm like he’s trying to find me. When he comes up empty, he flings the pillow away from his face and sits up with a scowl.
I smirk and wave at him, just a little sarcastically, but it’s a good feeling to see him so off-kilter. I’m so used to being the mess out of the two of us, it’s cute to see him sleep rumpled and grumpy as hell.
“Stop that. Stop looking smug and get over here. Gryphon will be here any minute and I need another moment with you before you go.” His voice is a rough rasp, one that sounds a lot like his sex-drenched whisper, and my thighs clench together at the sound. It doesn’t matter that I’d spent the night with him and his bond fucking the life right out of me. It still feels as though it’s been too long since I’ve felt his hands over my body, his tongue working its way across my skin, and his cock driving into my drenched pussy.
His head drops back on his shoulders and his pupils blow out wide, almost looking like his bond’s void eyes. “Whatever you’re thinking about, yes. I’ll give it all to you, just get over here.”
I giggle and shake a finger at him. “I have plans, remember? No matter how much I want you.”
He frowns and moves to stand up, throwing a wrench into the mix because his chest is freaking magnificent. When he bends down to pull on his boxer shorts, I get the full view of his perfectly biteable ass.
I should have woken him up earlier.
“You should have, you’re out of time now.”
I startle at the sound of Gryphon’s voice, spinning on my heel to find him standing in the doorway with a smirk, fully dressed in his Tac gear and ready to move out. His eyes drag over me and I can see how impressed he is that I’m ready to go.
I curse under my breath that I was so distracted by North’s general hotness that I didn’t notice the door opening and Gryphon sneaking up behind me.
He smirks at me and shrugs. “He’s not coming with us, so I’m not worried about it affecting you on the mission.”
Mission.
Even something as small as that word makes excited butterflies burst into life in my stomach.
I grumble back, “You better keep yourself covered as well. We both know your ass is just as good.”
I smile at Gryphon softly and we both turn to watch North’s frenetic movements as he gets dressed in a rush. I’m not sure why he’s bothering and is so intent on seeing us off. It’s just Gryphon and I going, and we could easily say goodbye to him right here.
Nonetheless, he pulls on a pair of sweatpants and shoves one of the very few casual-looking sweaters that he owns over his head, as though it’s vital that he puts that delicious chest of his away.
“When is the Transporter arriving?” he snaps at Gryphon, who merely raises an eyebrow in his direction.
It takes another huff from North before he finally replies, “He’s already here. He’s waiting outside for us. I knew that you would wake up with a shitty attitude, and I thought I’d spare him from this… undignified sight of our fearless leader.”
I smother a giggle and when North shoots me a look, I force my face to show none of the sadistic glee I’m finding in his distress. I must say, this version of North might be my favorite yet.
“Is Nox up yet?” he grumbles, and my heart sinks a little.
I glance up at Gryphon, who pointedly does not look at me in return as he says, “Yes, he’s up and ready. You’re, as always, the last person to be awake. Gabe and Atlas are already up and waiting to see Oli off.”
I glance back down at my boots and try to take a deep breath without looking too obvious with it. I should have known that North wouldn’t allow me to leave the sanctuary with only one of my Bonds. My reaction isn’t because I don’t want to be around Nox. It’s that this is my first real opportunity to prove myself to Gryphon and to prove that I can be an asset in this Bond Group, whether North likes it or not. I already know that Nox will do everything in his power to undermine that. He’s always so ready to point out all of my flaws and failings, every little thing that I do wrong or the little missteps I might have out of inexperience or ignorance. So now I’m not just going to have to be on my best behavior.
I’m going to have to move the mountains and the stars themselves to attempt to impress that man… or at least give him nothing to complain about. I still have his scathing critique ringing in my ears even though it feels as though the Resistance attacked us a lifetime ago.
“I’ve already packed everything that we need and distributed the supplies between the three of us,” Gryphon says, lifting a bag that is easily half my size up in offering to me.
I take it without a word, even though I probably would have grunted and complained in any other circumstances at the sheer weight of it. The bag strapped to his back is even bigger still, and there’s a weird sort of stubbornness in my very bones pushing me to just keep my mouth shut and take everything that is thrown at me right now.
Except, I’m not sure how far I’m really going to be able to go with this thing on, and it’s only just hitting me that maybe I should have been pushing myself a little bit more in our training sessions at the gym. I can run on a treadmill now for an hour straight, but with this weight on my back?
I’m screwed.
North finally gets his feet shoved into an old pair of sneakers that I’m sure are not his, because I cannot imagine Councilman North Draven wearing such things, and he walks back over to me to tug on the straps on the bag. I attempt to look steady on my feet and completely unfazed by the extra weight, but he’s too goddamn perceptive and I’m sure he sees through it.
He’s good about not completely calling me out about it though, thank God.
“Are you sure this isn’t too much?”
When I shake my head back, he frowns at me, probably at my silence. I can tell he wants to prod at me some more, but Gryphon answers for me, “It’s not the bag. She’s coming to terms with the fact that your brother is coming as well. I told you we should have warned her earlier, but you insisted.”
I don’t want to have to explain all of the complicated emotions running through me about Nox to North right now, or ever, really, so I give him what I hope is a reassuring smile and turn on my heel to walk out of the bedroom.
I hear him begin to argue with Gryphon behind me, but before I can feel any sort of way about that, I find myself face-to-face with Atlas and Gabe. They both look incredibly exhausted and amazingly sleep rumpled as they wait to say goodbye to me in the living room, their hair sticking up everywhere and the imprint of their pillows still on their cheeks.
Atlas approaches me first, a low-slung pair of sweats on his hips and nothing much else on. It seems like the universe has ordered an early morning of torture for me.
He pulls me into his arms, wrapping me up tightly and kissing the top of my head. “Are you sure that we can’t convince Gryphon to let me come as well?”
I shake my head, rubbing my nose against his pecs and reply, “I need to do this. I need to get out of here and prove that there’s something I can do here other than waiting tables and washing dishes.”
I pull away from Atlas and move over to Gabe, who’s standing there wearing basketball shorts and another one of the tank tops with the exaggerated arm holes, which now makes me blush wildly thinking about last night. He gives me a questioning look that I avoid entirely.
When it’s clear I’m not going to say a word about the color on my cheeks, he drawls to Atlas, “She’s got to be able to live. I would go crazy with the amount of rules that she’s living under. To be honest, the fact that she keeps her bond stable around all of our bullshit is more than any of us really give her credit for.”
He tugs me into his arms and murmurs quietly in my ear, just between us, “You’re also pretty good with a nail gun, for the record.”
I snort at his joke and hug him back just as tightly. My bond reaches out to him in a way that it hasn’t reached out to any of the rest of them, and I know it’s because he is the only one I haven’t bonded with so far.
Other than Nox, of course, but that’s a given.
There’s still a bleak sort of emptiness inside of me where he belongs, a space carved out in exactly his shape that aches for him. I really need to do something about it… soon.
I look up at him and he gives me that same soft smile that I’ve come to know. He reserves it just for me, and my insides liquify at the mere sight of it.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” he murmurs to me. When I raise an eyebrow at him, he continues, his voice quieter even than before, “Bond, we both know that with Nox there, you’ll be tempted to scorch the earth at his attitude.”
I shake my head at him and murmur back quietly, “No promises,” before stretching up on my tiptoes to give him a quick peck on the lips. I’m still not completely comfortable with a lot of PDA around them all, but it feels wrong to leave him without a kiss.
Gryphon and North stomp their way out of North’s bedroom, sour looks on both of their faces, and then Gryphon snaps, “We’re already running late, thanks to North. Let’s get a move on.”
I follow him out the front door without another word, determined to be the perfectly obedient soldier, for now. Nox is waiting on the front step, already dressed in his Tac gear with a large bag on his back. There’s a man standing with him who I don’t recognize, wearing full Tac gear as well. It still feels weird to use a Transporter that isn’t Kieran, and there’s a pain in my chest at thinking about my friend.
“We’re late,” Nox snaps, and Gryphon throws a hand out in North’s direction.
“Blame your brother, not us. Oli’s been up for hours already.”
We jog down the stairs together to join them and I roll my shoulders into the weight of the bag a little, letting my body adjust to it. It’s not so bad right now, and I’m sure I can ignore the pain of it for a few hours, at least.
I give my Bonds a quick glance over my shoulder and North gives me a possessive, angry sort of look, one that says he’s regretting all of this already. We haven’t even left yet.
I kind of wanted more of a goodbye with him than this, but with everyone standing around, I feel awkward going back for one last hug.
“Enough with this shit, we’re leaving,” Nox snaps, and I turn back to the Transporter, placing my hand on his arm and clenching my teeth in preparation for the travel sickness that always overtakes me.
Deep breath, Oleander. You can do this.
The woodland area that surrounds the lake is creepy as hell.
North had enough intel to find the whereabouts of the security cameras and other forms of surveillance around the lake house Giovanna and Riley are holed up in, so we already knew how far away we would have to transport in order to remain undetected. There’s a long hike ahead of us today, but with a deep breath of the clean and crisp air, I’m already feeling more comfortable in my own skin.
As soon as our feet hit the ground, the Transporter gives Gryphon a questioning look and then pops back out of existence the moment he gets the go-ahead. My head is spinning and my stomach roils but I swallow against the bile creeping up my throat. Sadly, I don’t think my travel sickness is ever going to ease up. Even after this many instances of travel, I still feel fucking horrendous.
Gryphon doesn’t even have to look at me to know how terribly I’m doing and, without a word, one of his hands wraps around the side of my neck, his gift flowing into me and easing away the sickness.
I murmur a quiet thank you and pull away the moment that I can. He gives me a questioning look, but it should already be obvious to him why I’m pulling away.
I risk a glance in Nox’s direction
He’s already ignoring us both, his shadows streaming out of his body and taking different forms of various canine-like creatures. Some of them look so much like Brutus that I find myself instantly drawn towards them, wanting to pet them and love on them, but I already know that that would be a bad idea.
There’s a small puff of air behind my ear and I reach up to grab Brutus, letting him down to join his siblings. He bounds off and snaps at a few of them playfully, the picture of a content puppy amongst grumpy and brooding shadows. I bite my lip to stop myself from giggling at him.
North had offered to give me August as well, but I could tell from the strain in his voice that he was unsure of how he would manage having his shadow that far away from him. I already know that he doesn’t have the same sort of control over them as his brother does, and I didn’t want anything to happen to him or August, and I definitely didn’t want him pulling the pin on the mission just because his connection with August was broken.
“It’s a three-hour hike from here if we’re making good time,” Gryphon says and I nod, adjusting the backpack a little and tightening the straps until it feels more secure on my back.
I am nothing if not excellent at ignoring pain and suffering. Now that my body has taken a moment to adjust to the weight, I’m not so concerned about how heavy it really is. I’ll take it, and I’ll do it without complaint.
Nox looks around the wooded area as his shadows begin to move ahead of us, scouting and being an extra set of eyes. Gryphon can sense people and hear their thoughts from a few miles away as well, so I don’t feel the need to call on my bond yet.
“With any luck, you won’t have to call on your bond at all,” Gryphon mutters softly, taking the lead and moving remarkably quietly through the underbrush. I try to mimic his movements, but I sound as though an elephant is stomping through by comparison.
Nox takes up the rear without a word.
It makes me a little bit uncomfortable how quiet he’s being, but his bad attitude earlier was mostly directed at North and not us, so I let it go. We spend the first hour in relative silence, mostly just the sound of my breathing and stomping to be heard, but I’m also not sure if it’s just extra loud to me because I’m trying so hard to be silent.
Brutus bounds around next to me, happy and sweet in his puppy way, and I find that the other shadows are happy to ignore us both entirely. There are two shadow creatures that walk beside Nox the entire time, both of them looking fully grown. Even though they’re shadow creatures and don’t actually use any energy to hike along with us, their tongues loll out of their heads as they pant, showing off jaws filled with razor-sharp teeth that I know for a fact can consume fully grown men without concern. It would be threatening if it wasn’t so damn cute.
Another creature walks beside Gryphon, but it acts as though he doesn’t exist, sniffing at the ground with its ears pricked up as though it’s chasing some mesmerizing scent.
Naturally, it’s only after I become super focused on my breathing and making sure that I am pacing myself nicely against Gryphon’s much longer stride and just generally kicking ass on this hike, that Nox decides to mess with my peace.
“What exactly are you gonna do if the girl is a spy? She should really get the same treatment as any other member of the Resistance, once we confirm she killed the Shield.”
I stumble over my feet a little bit, mostly startled at his voice cutting through the quiet of the woodlands, but he takes it as a small sign of weakness and doubles down. “Is there a reason your bond didn’t notice? Or has it been speaking to you about her this entire time and you’ve been ignoring it?”
I hear Gryphon sigh, but he doesn’t attempt to intervene, which I can appreciate. I have spoken to North a few times about leaving the two of us alone and letting us work on our issues ourselves, but I’m sure that Nox’s shitty attitude has come from his brother meddling.
I take a deep breath, that I’m proud to say is only a little unsteady, before I reply with pure honesty bleeding right out of me, which I’m sure he won’t even notice or appreciate. “You’ve heard my bond speak about her before, and you know it likes her. It likes Kieran, and it likes Felix. I genuinely don’t think that she is a member of the Resistance… And the thing I’ve struggled with most over the last couple of days is the thought of what I will have to do if it is proved that she’s a spy. I don’t think anyone should get special treatment in that situation, and it kills me to think that way when it comes to my best friend. But I have also seen the Resistance torture and kill children. I have seen Silas Davies carve people up, and everyone in that camp knew what he was doing. Every single one of them were complicit in his actions. There is no such thing as an innocent member of the Resistance.”
I swallow down the emotion that comes with admitting any of that, and Gryphon floods my mind with warmth and comfort. Thankfully, nothing was obvious to Nox, but it gets my knees steadying back up, thank God.
I hear Nox snort behind me and then he snaps, “Bassinger was born into the Resistance. I don’t see you feeling the same way about him.”
I should have known that this argument was coming, but I already have an answer to it, thanks to the questioning I have had from North and Gryphon.
My voice is strong as I snap back, “He was born into a family of the Resistance. He was born into their indoctrination and still chose not to go along with what they believe in. While he might say that he has only switched sides because of me, I saw the look of horror on his face when he saw the children that his father had killed on that screen. He’s not a member of the Resistance, and he does not agree with what they do. He helped us take down his own sister! I don’t have any doubts about him. If you do, then that’s your own issue, because logic says that he’s on the right side of this.”
I watch as Gryphon nods his head in front of me, and his presence slips slowly away from my mind now that I’ve found my fire again. Whatever happened between him and Atlas while I was in North’s office, it’s helped his perception of my other Bonded. I know that they went to see Aurelia, and I feel bad that I haven’t had the chance to speak with Atlas about it yet. I’m sure that that was an incredibly difficult thing to do, no matter what I just said to Nox. I know that it was incredibly difficult for Atlas to not only see his sister in those camps where they had kept and tortured me, but to watch them take her in as well? It wasn’t easy for him.
We fall back into an easy silence, Nox’s attitude still pouring off of him, but I’m an expert at ignoring him altogether.
After another mile or so, I get a creeping feeling down my spine that we’re being watched.
My bond perks up but doesn’t react as though we are in danger, more out of curiosity and reaction to my unease. Neither Gryphon nor Nox react in any way, and the shadow creatures continue on their usual path, so I try to push the feeling out of my head as a small sign of paranoia rather than anything to be concerned about.
If my bond is fine with it, then I have to be as well.
