WEST
Having damp hair in the freezing cold isn’t the smartest thing, but an invitation for shower sex with Southside seems worth the pneumonia risk.
I’m too spent to even head inside, hence the reason I’ve been sitting in my car, staring at the cinderblock walls of the parking structure for the past ten minutes.
My phone buzzes and I look down, seeing an ‘I love you’ text from Southside that I return quickly. For a moment, I’m reliving tonight’s hookup and it dulls the sting of having to hide behind this bullshit smokescreen we’ve built. This week alone, I’ve been approached by ten girls offering to help ‘take my mind off things’. I play into it, giving them false hope that I’ll come find them when I’m ready, but it’s all part of the lie.
West: Make it home okay?
Blue: I did. Mike cooked again.
West: You eat this time?
Blue: Nope. I don’t believe in fraternizing with the enemy.
At first, I was completely on her side with this whole “boycott Mike” mission she’s on, but I’m starting to think she’s hurting herself as much as she’s hurting him. If anyone knows what dicks fathers can be, it’s me, but I also like to think I know when someone’s genuinely making an effort. And Mike seems to be.
West: Maybe try for Scar. Pretty sure she misses you guys eating as a family. Might be good for her.
It takes a while to get a response and I wonder if I’ve overstepped. But when I put myself in her shoes, and imagine if my dad were to legitimately try to be a better man, I like to think I’d be able to give him a chance. Only, alcoholism isn’t to blame for who and what Vin is. He’s a grade-A asshole all on his own. No excuses.
Blue: I’ll consider it. Probably. Maybe.
West: I’ll take it. Just want what’s best for you.
The phone buzzes with a response, but I quickly shove it in my pocket when I spot Mom easing into her parking space. Seeing her makes me wonder if sitting here was just laziness, or perhaps it’s fate.
She’s avoided me since I overheard her and Vin discussing the ledger. Then, the one time I did try my hand at sneaking up to snoop through their shit, I discovered that the passcode to their floor had been changed. Seeing as how Vin has no clue I even know the ledger exists, this little safety precaution had to have been taken by her.
My best guesses are that she’s either protecting Vin, or thinks she’s protecting us as a family. Either way, hiding the evidence in that book is the wrong move.
She’s mouthing words to whatever song she’s listening to, and as soon as she shuts off the engine, I climb out of my car and sprint toward her.
“West!” she gasps, settling down once she realizes the one who just rushed her in the parking structure is me.
“You’ve been hard to catch lately.”
When she shoots me a look, I can only guess she realizes I’m annoyed by being ghosted for more than two weeks now.
“You’re being silly,” she insists, forcing a smile. “You three were out of town, then I had an event to plan with the women’s organization. This is just a busy time of year, sweetheart. You know that.”
Her expression softens with a laugh. She expects me to believe I’ve imagined how she’s tried keeping her distance, but I’m not an idiot.
“You and Dad were fighting about a ledger the night you caught me in the hallway. I heard you say there were names and dollar amounts, and I’m sure you find that just as fucking disturbing as I do.”
“Language,” she winces, which prompts me to roll my eyes.
I don’t have time for her delicate sensibilities. Not when I’m starting to look at her as an accomplice in whatever fucked up thing Vin’s involved in. I mean, if she knows what he’s got going and does nothing to stop him, she’s just as bad.
“I need to know what else is in that book.”
She flashes a look toward me, like she wishes I’d just leave this alone, but there’s no fucking way that’ll happen. She climbs into the elevator, thinking I’ll let this shit rest, but I’m making it as clear as possible that I know there’s something shady going on.
“Where’s the ledger,” I repeat, prompting her to point a freshly manicured finger toward the camera in the corner as the doors close us in.
It doesn’t go unnoticed that she’s avoided putting in the code to her and Vin’s place, instead entering mine.
“So, just so I’m clear, you’re willing to let whatever he’s into slide? Because you’re too busy to deal with it?”
Another cold look slices in my direction, but that shit doesn’t scare me. I’m not a kid anymore, believing her and Vin are perfect.
She stays quiet the whole time we climb to the penthouse level, then we step out. Finally, once the door closes behind us, she speaks up.
“Why this sudden interest in your father’s business? Is there something I’m missing?”
“Are you seriously feeding me this B.S. right now? You expect me to believe you were in tears and chewing his ass out because that book had something legitimate in it?”
With a frustrated huff, she crosses both arms over her chest and clearly wishes I’d leave it alone.
“I’ll admit, I can understand why what you saw that night would alarm you, but it was a simple misunderstanding. Your father and I have discussed the situation since then and I overreacted.”
Unbelievable. She trusts him more than she trusts herself.
She sees the look on my face and speaks again.
“Okay, West, since you seem to think you know so much, why don’t you tell me what you think that ledger is for.”
I smirk at her, knowing how easily she falls apart, turns into a puddle of weakness anytime someone threatens her world.
“You don’t want that,” I warn. “Because unlike Vin, I’m not gonna lie to you.”
She snarls a bit. “Vin? Since when did you start calling him by his first name? He’s your father and he deserves respect.”
“Are you fucking kidding me right now?” I scoff, causing her to literally clutch the pearls around her neck.
“I honestly don’t know when you got to be so vulgar, but I would appreciate you remembering that I am your mother.”
“Then act like it,” I snap.
You could hear a pin drop after those words leave my mouth. She eventually regains her composure and looks away. I, on the other hand, see this as a golden opportunity to speak my mind. Lord knows it’s high time someone was honest with her.
“At what point do you plan to stop letting him feed you his bullshit? You’re a middle-aged woman who’s smart, wealthy in her own right, and yet you allow that asshole to do all the thinking in the relationship. Isn’t that exhausting? Forcing yourself to be blind to all the shit he does? I mean, the man’s fucked half this city!”
At the precise moment her surprised gasp hits the air, a powerful, unapologetic slap sets one side of my face ablaze.
My eyes fall shut and the fury that builds within me is unmatched, contrasting the calm I exude. When I finally do meet her gaze again, I don’t even see her the same.
She eyes me when I smirk, working my jaw a bit.
“Of all the things that could’ve set you off over the years, it’s this? Me? Not the man who’s made you look like a world-class dumb-ass? But me, your son.”
Her eyes water and I still feel nothing for her. “I shouldn’t have done that.”
“Fuck you.” I stare into her eyes, hoping she feels the raw, unfiltered hatred spewing from every fiber of my being.
There’s a moment of complete silence as she stares, looking as though she feels every bit of regret she just expressed, but it’s too late for that shit.
“I should’ve known you wouldn’t give a damn. You never have. About anything. Your ass sat by while he verbally and emotionally abused all three of us, all because you’re terrified of what life might be like without him.”
She sniffles a bit, but I’m not moved by her tears.
“Allison Duchene. Kimberly Patterson. Theresa Sandoval,” I call out. “Those are the latest southside girls the news says have gone missing. And if you were stupid enough to give that ledger back to Vin—which I really, really hope you didn’t do—I guarantee their names have already been added.”
Her eyes glisten with more tears and she lowers her stare.
“West, I—”
She can’t get the words out, but it doesn’t matter anyway. If Vin’s the devil, she’s his second in command. Being complacent is just as bad as being responsible.
I start toward my bedroom, leaving her standing near the elevator. Things would’ve been easier if she were on board, but I’m willing to do this without her.
Just like I’ve done everything else.
