An hour later, I was resting my elbows on the sticky wooden bar of the Golden Shamrock. Sipping a Guinness while the TV blared, I watched Hitched and Stitched, a reality TV show about women competing to win a groom and plastic surgery for their Big Day. Horrific, yes, but that didn’t stop me from tuning in every week.
Maybe that heralded the decline of civilization or something, but none of that really bothered me right now. I was twenty-six years old, with…
What did I have? Nothing, really. Nothing to my name.
Tonight, I just wanted a place where no one would give a shit about the curry stains on my shirt, a place where I could drink a lot on a weeknight and no one would judge me.
The Golden Shamrock was the perfect spot.
It wasn’t just the heartbreak, although that did make me want to curl into the fetal position. This had ruined another of my dreams, at least temporarily—Chloe’s. I’d been working day and night on my plans, trying to get permits.
I dropped my head into my hands. I made about thirty thousand a year as a bartender right now, and much of that had gone to Andrew’s mortgage. Before I’d met Andrew, I’d been sharing a cramped apartment with an alcoholic who always fell asleep in the bathroom. That wasn’t the end of the world, but something really rankled about the way Andrew had just tossed out “go to college” as if I could suddenly pay for it.
Andrew had grown up rich, with parents who earned millions in real estate. He’d decided to make it on his own for a while, which I guess meant I was helping him instead of his parents. Because he’d never truly been broke, he’d cultivated the sort of blithe obliviousness that would lead him to say things like, “You should be happy I’m in love,” in the process of shattering several of my dreams.
I sipped my Guinness, licking the foam off my lips. I’d find a way to make it work.
A familiar voice pulled me from my misery. “Ava!”
When I looked up, I saw my best friend Shalini crossing toward me. Her dark, wavy hair cascaded over a figure-hugging red dress that matched her lipstick. She wore shimmery blush over her copper skin, her style in sharp contrast to my food-stained work ensemble.
Shalini slid in next to me and immediately wrapped an arm around my shoulders. “Oh, my God, Ava. What happened?”
All the emotions I’d been holding back came flooding out then, and I dropped my head into my hands. “I caught Andrew having sex in our bed with a blonde actress.” When I looked up again at her, my vision had gone blurry.
Shalini’s brown eyes were wide, her jaw tight. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
I sipped my beer, feeling numb now. “He said he had a hall pass.”
“A what pass? What’s that?”
I drew in a deep breath and told Shalini everything that had happened: coming home early, the fake orgasm, and then the bit about how I should be happy for him. When I finished, Shalini’s expression of utter disgust mirrored my own feelings. Then a smile curled her lips. “You really threw vindaloo on them?”
“It was everywhere.”
“I hope he got chili peppers on his balls—” Shalini paused for a second, then grimaced. She was probably trying not to imagine what curry might look like all over Andrew’s naked body. Shaking her head, she said, “It’s unbelievable. I mean, did he really think he wasn’t going to get caught?
“I don’t know. I guess so. I was supposed to be working late, but it’s my birthday.” My cheeks were wet, and I wiped my hands across them. “I know most relationships don’t last, but I thought we were different.”
Shalini gently patted my shoulder. “The cure for a broken heart is a hotter man. Are you on Tinder yet?”
I stared at her. “This just happened an hour and a half ago.”
“Right. Well, when you’re ready, I’m going to help you. I’m basically desperate for an adventure. Maybe we should go on a cruise! Aren’t there cruises for single people?”
I looked down at my now nearly empty glass. Was this my second beer or my third? I was losing count. “No way. I’m done with men. I can be perfectly happy with donuts and movies about Tudor queens.”
“Wait a minute. Wasn’t he supposed to finance your bar?” Shalini’s voice rose. “You’ve been paying his fucking mortgage. He owes you.”
I nodded. “And that’s probably why he was waiting to tell me.”
“What if I invested in your bar?”
It was a lovely thing to say, but I didn’t want to ruin a perfect friendship by throwing a steep financial risk into the mix. “No, but thank you. I’ll figure something out.”
“We could open one together. One of the ones where you can throw axes? And maybe we should invite Andrew to opening night, have some shots, and see where the blades take us.”
I nodded over my beer. “We could call it ‘Tap that Axe.’”
“Remember when Andrew brought that hatchet thing camping and nearly decapitated a squirrel? What a fucking idiot,” said Shalini. “You need an alpha male. Like, someone who can protect you.”
I swayed in my seat. “Ew. No, I don’t need some alpha twat. I just need to figure out how to get rent money together.” I gripped the table. “How dumb am I, exactly, that I trusted him?”
She shrugged. “You’re not dumb. He’s the one who ruined something good.”
I leaned back in my chair. “What’s the rent like these days downtown?”
She cleared her throat. “Let’s not talk about that now. You can stay with me.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “That actually sounds kind of fun.”
A slim guy with brown hair sidled up to us. He was wearing black Chucks, jeans, and a gray hoodie. His attention was riveted entirely on Shalini—which was how it always went when we ventured out together.
“Having a good night?” he asked, flicking his eyebrows up. He clearly intended the expression to be flirty.
“She’s not,” said Shalini.
“Maybe I can make you feel better,” he replied, his comment entirely directed at Shalini. “Where are you from? I speak three languages.”
“Arlington, Massachusetts.”
“No, I mean like…where are you actually from? Originally.”
“Arlington.” Shalini’s eyes narrowed. “How about a little French? Foutre le camp!”
The man laughed nervously. “That’s not one of the languages I know.”
“Do you know programming languages? How about this—sudo kill dash nine you?”
The man’s eyes brightened with excitement. “I will if you tell me the admin password.” His tone sounded faintly lascivious, and I no longer understood what was happening.
My gaze drifted to Hitched and Stitched. The groom had forced his potential brides into a boxing match. Apparently, the best way to choose a wife was to have them punch each other while wearing bikinis. I frowned at the screen, wondering how many of them really would need a new nose after this episode.
When I turned back to Shalini and the random guy, they were arguing about a programming language.
Shalini was absolutely brilliant with computers. She’d been working for some fancy tech startup that had gone public a month ago. I wasn’t sure how much money she’d made with her stock options, but whatever it was, she no longer needed a job. Once, she’d been an obsessive academic, insanely driven, but she was burned out, and she just wanted to have fun.
Shalini held up a hand. “Steve, Ava has had a bad night. She’s not a fan of men right now. We’re going to need some space.”
And this was where I made a crucial mistake. “It’s just that I caught my boyfriend banging Ashley.”
Steve bit his lip. “If you guys want a threesome, or…”
“No!” said Shalini and I in unison.
“Whatever.” Steve’s face hardened as he looked at me. “Not trying to be a dick, but you’re not really that pretty, anyway. Not with the elf ears.” He sauntered away, humming to himself.
“Fae!” I turned back to Shalini, touching my delicately pointed fae ears. “Shit. That didn’t help my self-esteem.”
“You know tons of men say shit like that when they’re rejected, right? One second, you’re the most beautiful person they’ve ever seen. The next, you’re a stuck-up bitch with weird knees. Everyone knows that fae ears are hot, and so are you. You’re just intimidating.”
I’d lived among the humans, tried to blend in. I’d like to say it was by choice, but the truth was, the fae had kicked me out long ago. No idea why.
“Is that what all human men think when they see me?” I asked.
Shalini shook her head. “You’re fucking gorgeous. Dark brown hair, big eyes, sexy lips. You’re like a little fae Angelina Jolie from the ’90s. And your ears are hot as fuck. You know what? I’m making it my life’s mission to get myself a fae boyfriend. Human men are messy.”
I grimaced. “And fae men are terrifying.”
“How do you know that?”
A dark memory swept through the back of my mind, but it was intangible, elusive—a wispy phantom in my thoughts. “I don’t know. There are a few common fae like me out here, but I don’t run into them often. All the High Fae live in Faerie, and I think they have magical powers. But in any case, you can only get into their world through a portal, and that requires an invitation, which I’m certainly not getting.”
“What do you imagine the males would be like in bed, though?”
“I’ve literally never thought about it.”
She pointed at me. “Have you ever noticed that the most mind-blowing sex is with the worst trainwrecks of men? The best sex I ever had was with a guy who believed that aliens live in the Earth’s core. He lived in a yurt in his parents’ backyard, and his only job was trying to make kombucha. Which he never managed, by the way. His shoes were held together with duct tape. Mind blowing sex in the yurt, and that’s how I know there is no God. Who was yours?”
“Best sex?” My first instinct was to say Andrew, but no, that wasn’t the truth. And I didn’t have to be loyal to him anymore. “His name was Dennis. On our first date, he served me cold soup out of a can and tried to beat box for a solid fifteen minutes. He ate weed brownies for breakfast and wanted to be a professional magician. But his body was absolute perfection, and he was insane in bed. In a good way.”
Shalini nodded sympathetically. “Exactly. It’s too cruel. Is it possible that fae men could be good in bed and also normal?”
“Fuck knows. I’m pretty sure they’re all arrogant, and I think kind of murdery? But I’m not even allowed in the fae world.” This was something I never talked about, but all the beer had loosened me up.
“Why not? You never explained it to me.”
I leaned forward. “The fae world is all about your family lineage. And since my parents gave me up for adoption at birth, no one knows what my lineage is. I’m an outcast.” I looked down at myself, seeing what others must see. “Shalini, I’m not doing much better than Dennis, am I? I’m broke and currently wearing a cat sweatshirt covered in food stains.” I reached up to touch my hair, realizing that I had one of those I’ve given up buns with hair sticking out. “Oh, God. This is what I looked like to meet Ashley.”
“You look sexier than ever. You look like someone kept you up all night because you’re hot as hell.” Her eyes moved to my now empty pint glass. “Another round?”
I nodded, even though I already felt dizzy. I could still hear Ashley’s high-pitched squeals, and those had to go.
“More,” I said slowly, and sighed. “Thanks. Andrew was too good-looking. Too perfect. I should have known better than to trust a man who was so pretty.”
Shalini shouted to the bartender, “Can we get a pitcher of margaritas? And can you turn up Hitched and Stitched? Someone’s getting sent home tonight.”
“I hope it’s Amberlee,” I said. “No, wait. I hope she stays. She’s batshit, and that makes her my favorite. She tried to curse Jennica with a curse candle.”
As the bartender filled the pitcher, a “breaking news” logo flashed on the TV above the bar, interrupting the video of a Hitched contestant drunkenly sobbing. A news reporter was standing on a street corner.
I stared at the screen.
“It’s just been announced,” said the grinning reporter, “that Torin, king of the fae, will be getting married this year.”
A hush fell over the bar. King Torin was the leader of the High Fae, a lethal group of fae who now ruled our world from a distance. Exactly the type of fae who wanted nothing to do with a commoner like me.
And yet, I found myself staring at the TV anyway, enraptured along with everyone else.
