NIKOLAI
I’ll make the choice for you about Landon. Consider him dealt with.
That’s the text I get after another fucking week of radio silence from Nikolai.
After he fucked me against the tree and then left. Without letting me kiss him. Talk to him. Nothing.
He even gave me an ultimatum while being nonnegotiable about his own sister.
Lan and I might have our problems, but he’s my twin brother. The person I know the best. The person I look to whenever I’m drowning in fucking self-loathing. Watching him be his shameless, confident self gives me hope that I could be okay. If my identical twin is, then I could be as well.
No one but Lan and I understand the complexity of our relationship. Not even Mum and Dad are privy to that.
So how could Nikolai give me that ultimatum? How could he suggest that he’ll ‘deal’ with my brother and think I’ll let him?
How the fuck could he even make me choose?
At Mia’s birthday party, I noticed he wasn’t himself. He had this empty, bottomless expression, and sometimes, he’d look at me and I didn’t think he was seeing me.
I’ve wanted to be there for him, and I’ve fucking tried countless times, for that matter. He’s the one who’s slammed the door in my face.
I can’t help thinking this is revenge for all the times I kept him at arm’s length. The push-and-pull game has reversed and I’m now on the receiving end.
But I’ve never threatened his family. I might have hidden Lan and Mia’s fling, but I really thought it would blow over and it’d do more harm than good to let him know.
And yes, I might have been distant at times, but I was there when he wanted me to be.
He, on the other hand, has made it abundantly clear that he wants nothing to do with me anymore.
He doesn’t communicate. Doesn’t come to the penthouse. And he’s completely fine with the prospect of losing me by hurting my brother.
Forget about being heartbroken. I’m fucking livid right now.
I texted Mia about her brother’s plans and she gave me a code to access the Heathens’ mansion.
That’s where I am right now after driving like a madman.
However, when I arrive at the annexed house where Mia told me to meet her, I’m stopped by three bulky guards. Two of them are built like rocks and look at me as if I’m a cockroach.
They’re standing on either side of the metal door, arms crossed in front of them, but I catch a glimpse of their guns holstered at their waists.
The one who steps forward is a younger blond man who looks no older than me, but his expression is solemn as he orders in a Russian accent, “Step back.”
“I’m here to see Mia,” I say in my firm voice.
“That won’t be possible. Leave the property or we’ll escort you out. The second option will not be pleasant.”
“I won’t move until I see Mia and my brother.”
He steps forward, but I remain rooted in place. I have no doubt that he’ll pummel me to the ground, but I don’t care. At this point, all I want is to take my brother home in one piece.
“Tell Nikolai I’m here,” I say when he reaches for me.
“What?”
“Tell him I want to see him and that he doesn’t want to fucking test me.”
“Why would Nikolai want to see you?” he says with a note of condescension that gets under my skin.
In his eyes, I’m Lan’s identical twin and, therefore, Nikolai would hold the same level of contempt for me. But that’s not true. Even Jeremy and Killian actually like me and have always differentiated me from Lan’s antics.
Nikolai has, too, from the beginning. He calls me lotus flower because of it. But now, he’s being a massive dick.
The guard starts to push me and I fight against him. But before he can punch me in the face, the door creaks open.
My breath hitches when Lan steps out, swaying on unsteady legs. Blood gushes from the corner of his lip and purple bruises decorate his cheeks and neck.
But the part that leaves me paralyzed is the way his left hand lies limp by his side as he holds his forearm.
No, no, no…
I wrench myself from the guard’s grip and run to him. “Lan…are you okay?”
“What the fuck are you doing here, Bran?” he snaps and grabs me by the nape. “Why can’t you just stop being a busybody and stay still?”
“I can’t watch you being hurt and do nothing.” I inspect his arm, my heart thundering loudly when I touch his wrist and he groans. “Is your…wrist okay?”
He waves me away. “Nikolai was jealous and tried to break it, but I think I got away with a sprain.”
“Nikolai did?”
“He said either I leave Mia or he breaks my artist wrist.”
I close my eyes briefly, but it does nothing to disperse the pain flooding through me. “You picked Mia.”
It’s not a question, because I know now how much he’d self-destruct for her. I’ve never seen him dedicated to anyone as much as he is to her.
A pained, bloody grin curls his lips. “Sure as fuck. Would do it again in a heartbeat.”
He coughs and then spits a mouthful of blood on the concrete floor. I grab him by the waist and start dragging him to where I had to leave the car near the entrance.
“Let’s get you to a doctor.”
He grumbles a noise at the back of his throat, but he leans on me and lets me half carry him.
“I’ve got to say, it’s refreshing to see you worried about me.” He ruffles my hair.
“Stop messing around, Lan. You screwed up your wrist and all you can think about is me being worried about you?”
“It’s a very important element.”
“Seriously?”
“Uh-huh. It means you care.”
“I always care. You’re the one who doesn’t.”
“Fuck that. If you weren’t here, I would’ve introduced that bunch of Heathens to my special brand of fucked up.”
“And get yourself killed?”
“Will you cry at my funeral?”
“Lan! Don’t joke about nonsense like that.”
“But I want to know. Will you?”
I sigh as I help him into the passenger seat. “You’re my twin brother.”
“And?” He looks at me expectantly, like a fucking hyena who’s waiting to pounce on its prey. Or maybe it’s just expectation and I’m reading too much into it.
“And that means I wouldn’t be the same without you. Not that you share the sentiment.” I start to close the door, but he shoves his foot against it, keeping it open.
“You know, that’s your problem, Bran. You always assume things about me instead of fucking talking to me. It’s a nasty habit that needs to go.” He holds my gaze with his identical one. “I wouldn’t be the same without you, either, twat. You’re part of me.”
“Ownership again? Classic.”
“It’s not fucking ownership. If I owned you, I wouldn’t give two flying fucks about you because I’d already have you in my grasp.” He clutches my hand and I wince at how hard it is. “I want you to listen to me and listen carefully. You’re part of me. That means I’m critical of you like I’m critical of myself. I see your safety as my own, sometimes even more so because you tend to think of others’ comfort more than your own. I hated it when you closed yourself behind a fortress and kept me out. I need you to understand that.”
I swallow thickly, his words demolishing a wall inside me brick by brick.
“You put me as Spare Parts in your phone when we were thirteen.”
“Because you demanded your own room. You said, and I quote, ‘I don’t want to share space with that vermin.’ I’m nothing if not petty.”
I wince. That was around the time everything started to fall apart.
All I can do is nod and pull my hand from his.
He groans when he lays his wrist on his thigh, and the anger from earlier washes over me again.
“Give me a second.”
“Where are you going?” he asks, but I lock him in the car so he doesn’t try to follow.
Then I march back to the annex house. I catch a glimpse of Killian and Mia walking toward the main house as she signs furiously and he listens with a tight expression.
Jeremy is talking to Nikolai in front of the annex where the guards are still poised nearby.
I stride toward them, but once again, I’m stopped by the blond guy.
Nikolai lifts his head and a frown appears between his brows. His hair is tied in a ponytail and he’s actually wearing a T-shirt and trousers. But then again, he wouldn’t want to get my brother’s fucking blood on him.
“Let him go, Ilya,” he tells the blond and he reluctantly releases me.
I walk forward and I drive my fist into his face. He reels back and clutches his cheek as his darkened eyes snap to mine.
Jeremy is stunned for a second. I am, too, as I resist the urge to shake my hand. That fucking hurts.
It’s worth it, though.
“Congratulations, Nikolai. You get your fucking wish.” I point a finger at his chest. “We’re over.”
Jeremy stares between us with a calculative expression, as if he’s linking patterns, but I honestly couldn’t care less anymore.
I turn to leave, but Nikolai grabs me by the arm and his hard chest presses to my back as he growls in my ear, “In your fucking dreams, baby.”
Fuck him.
I elbow him and release myself from his grip. Without looking back, I jog to where I left Lan.
Maybe it’s time I put this whole thing behind me.
For good.
