Over the past week, I’ve been on the edge of something dark and absolutely nefarious.
The urge I’ve controlled so well ever since I hit puberty has been seeping into my nightmares, my meal time, and my fighting time.
All my time.
It has heightened, magnified, and reached altitudes that even I am unable to shove into the hollowness of my soul.
And the reason is none other than the girl sitting across from me.
The guardian of her hell, Jeremy, allowed her to spend the night in REU’s dorm. We’re in the apartment she shares with my cousin, the silver angel, and the girl my brother is obsessed with.
Usually, Remi drags me to these nights with a lot of begging and a bribe in the form of fish and chips. Tonight, however, no begging happened.
The fish and chips are nonnegotiable, though.
I take a bite and slap Lan’s hand when he tries to snag a piece.
“Stingy bitch,” he mutters under his breath.
“And what are you doing here?” Bran asks him from the other side of me after they deliberately put me between them.
“Can’t I hang out with my brother and sister and friends?”
“Friends?” Bran tuts, seeming disgusted. “Since when do you have those?”
“I have a friend.” He nudges my shoulder, but I ignore him, so he stares at the opposite side where Cecily and Ava are bickering with Remi while Glyn tries to mediate. “Isn’t that right, Ces?”
She stops in the middle of cursing Remi, drags her fingers through her grandma-like hair, and smiles. “Sure.”
Hopelessly pathetic.
I’ve gone out of my way to warn her about Landon ever since we were in secondary school. But the chances of her actually listening are slim to zero.
Due to the fact that I only speak when it’s absolutely necessary and after I allow my brain to mull over my words, I notice things. Patterns, lingering gazes, and unresolved obsessions.
It’s how I knew Glyn was into Killian long before he staked a public claim on her. Hell, long before she admitted it to herself.
Despite her reserved nature, Cecily actually yearns for Ava’s openness and what Glyn has with the Heathens’ psychopath.
She just went the wrong way about it. She still is.
In spite of my warnings.
Cecily is one of the purest souls to ever exist with enough heart to fit the globe. When we were young, she defended me every time someone made fun of me. Not that I cared, but I won’t forget how she told me ‘I’ll protect you, Creigh. That’s what friends are for.’
I tried to protect her, too, from the monster on my right, to no avail.
This is why I make it my mission not to get involved in anything that doesn’t concern me. People call it heartless; I call it preserving my time.
“See.” Landon grins at his brother. “I have a friend, so I’m staying for Cecily’s beautiful eyes.”
She blushes. I fix her with my signature blank look and she lowers her head.
“If you’re not leaving, I will,” the nicer of the twins says.
“Bran, don’t.” Glyn leaves her plate and goes to her brother’s side, then strokes his arm. “Come on, it’s so rare for us to get together.”
“You heard our little princess.” Landon pats his sister’s head.
She makes a face at him and he grins back.
Bran is half convinced but keeps throwing daggers at a terribly amused Lan.
The more they show disgust or any sort of hostility, the more he enjoys tormenting the hell out of them. Just because he can.
Chaos ensues, more talking, more dramatics, more fucking noise.
My gaze fixates on the reason behind my sour mood and the darkness that’s been slowly but surely occupying my every waking and sleeping moment.
Annika nibbles on some chips as she sits elegantly on the sofa, both legs bent to the side. She’s wearing a fluffy pajama set that has a cat on it.
Her hair is gathered in a ponytail with a matching purple band.
A ponytail that I’ve been imagining all the ways I can grab onto it as I throw her down on the nearest surface and mark that flawless skin with red welts. They’d look striking against her dewy pale skin.
She’d look at me with that tangible fear and maybe tears.
She’d be so scared, she’d cry and beg me to stop, but I’d do everything except for stopping.
I’ve had these depraved fantasies for the opposite sex ever since I hit puberty, but they were never about a specific woman.
Any female would do as long as she was ready to take the lash of my whips and submit to my chains.
This is the first time I’ve had a face for all those fantasies. And a body I’ve imagined in all positions as my cock pounded and pounded, and fucking pounded until she screamed.
Annika isn’t supposed to be the face of my twisted fantasies. I meant it when I tried to scare her away.
She’s an innocent girl who’s not fit for my taste of fucked up.
But then she had the fucking audacity to say that she’ll take a boyfriend. A fake one—not that it mattered—and will be playing Hollywood with him in front of her brother.
And the little fucking minx also dared to exclude me from her unorthodox arrangement.
She was the one who roamed around me with the perseverance of a bee for weeks on end, suffocating me with her violet scent and blinding me with all the purple. And now, she pretends I’m not even on the menu?
Not on my watch.
And yes, the change of attitude might have started when I imagined another man touching her and my vision became red. The need for violence scratched and clawed at the surface of my sanity, demanding retribution. And no, it didn’t matter that the ones I would’ve been committing murder against were Remi and Bran.
As if feeling my gaze on her, Annika lifts her head and her glittering blue-gray eyes clash with mine. They’re so innocent, so full of life, and it shouldn’t be right that I want to fill them with tears. Pleasure tears. Fear tears. I don’t give a fuck at this point.
Her pouty lips fall open, probably at seeing whatever emotion slipped to my face, and it takes all my control not to stuff them with my fingers and watch as they quiver.
She swiftly cuts off eye contact and takes over Glyn’s mediating position in the never-ending cat and mouse game Remi, Ava, and Cecily like to play.
“Come on, spawn, help me with these crazy cougars,” Remi calls for me for the thousandth time tonight.
I ignore him. Again.
“I swear on my lordship’s name that I’m revoking parental rights. Go look for someone else to translate your thoughts without you having to speak.”
“Hmph. I can do that just fine.” Cecily lifts her nose into the air. “Creigh and I volunteer at the same shelter and I always talk to the other staff on his behalf.”
What started as a decision on the spur of the moment has become part of my schedule now.
At first, I only went to that shelter to learn more about the doll-like girl who’s actually a mafia princess but has not one criminal trait in her bones.
The girl treats animals like a mother would treat her baby, for fuck’s sake.
Then I noticed that the more I showed up, the more annoyed she became. And I like getting on her last nerve, catching her glaring at me, or watching me with that puzzled expression.
Besides, many students started volunteering at the shelter soon after I joined. Cecily said it’s because of me and that I should stay.
Who am I to say no to such a great cause?
It’s been almost a week, and I’ve been going there every single day, deliberately sacrificing my sleeping time.
“Spawn! You have it in you to betray me with this me wannabe? You can try for an eternity to dress like me, walk, talk and act like me. You might be the next best thing, but not quite me.”
“Wait. Isn’t that Eminem?” Ava asks.
“Point is, I’m wounded, spawn,” he says in his overdramatic voice. “And here I thought I was your favorite. Now I need to go find me another spawn who’s willing to follow my lordship’s teachings. I’ll take candidates starting now. No pushing, I can’t accept everyone.”
No one comes forward and he laughs. “Don’t be shy. I know I’m intimidating, but I can be cool as fuck.”
Annika inches forward and opens her mouth. There’s a tidbit I’ve learned about her during the time we’ve spent together in this unholy group. She doesn’t like seeing anyone in a vulnerable state and is always game to sacrifice herself for it.
Either that or she’s seriously considering Remi for the position of her fake prick.
I’m not ready to find out which it is. Before any words come out, I say, “You already have me. Why would you look for someone else?”
“Right!” He points at me with a laugh. “I knew I was still your favorite and no attempts from the crazy cougars will be able to tear us apart. Hear that, nerd? You mean nothing.”
“And you think you do?” Cecily throws right back.
Ava holds out both hands. “Time out! Ces, don’t you think we have something more important to discuss, especially now that everyone is here?”
“Oh, right, of course.” Cecily sits beside Annika and Ava takes the other side. “We’re gathered here today for an important reason that’s a bit more pressing than choking the life out of Remi. Our friend, Anni, needs someone to pretend to be her boyfriend for enough time to convince her family not to arrange a marriage for her. Who’s up for it?”
Annika stares at me with wide eyes and I narrow mine. I specifically told her to erase this idea out of her head, and by association, out of Cecily’s and Ava’s heads.
“No funny business in the fake dating.” Ava points a finger at my cousin. “I’m talking about you, Remi.”
“Define funny business, love.” He grins mischievously, and I can feel that tension rising in my compressed throat.
The darkness shimmers from the background, threatening to devour everything in its wake.
“No, you’re out,” Cecily tells Remi. “Like, totally out.”
“Why the hell are you the one who decides that? It should be Anni! From the potential candidates present, I’m the most handsome, duh, and would make the best boyfriend material.”
“Your arrogance is astounding.”
“Thanks, my lady.”
“That wasn’t a compliment, Remi.”
“Whatever. All I’m saying is that the girl of the hour should choose. Out of everyone present, who do you want to be your fake boyfriend, Anni?”
Her eyes meet mine again, bright, so fucking bright that it’s blinding. She sinks her teeth into her bottom lip, chewing, biting, waiting.
My jaw tightens as other images fill my mind. All of them start with her trapped beneath me with no way out.
There won’t be any nibbling or chewing. There’ll be slapping, throwing, choking, flogging, gagging, fucking, fucking, and more fucking until I tear her tiny little cunt.
Christ.
The fuck is wrong with me lately?
She releases her lip, all red and plump from how much she bit on it. “If he’s willing to help, and it’s in no way an obligation, of course, but if I had to choose, it’d be Brandon.”
My fist tightens on the fork and I’m surprised it doesn’t snap in two from the ferocity of my grip. My jaw flexes and my muscles stiffen until I’m no different than a rock.
The only thing stopping me from hauling her onto my lap right at this moment is the knowledge that I would break her skin. No doubt about it.
The clever little minx avoids my gaze completely, knowing full well that she fucked up.
But she doesn’t know to what extent.
Annika just unleashed the last bit of control I’ve been conjuring for weeks.
My soul craves the darkness and that’s exactly what I’ll give it.
“I’m sorry to say this, but you have a terrible taste in men, Anni.” Remi flips his hair back. “But then again, my lordship was never meant for fake anything.”
“I’m honored you chose me.” Bran smiles. “I’d be happy to help—”
He’s cut off when I stand up abruptly. This time, Annika looks at me with terrified eyes.
The right eyes.
I don’t say a word as I turn around and leave.
She can have her fun all she wants—or think she is.
It won’t matter one bit once I have her at my mercy.
One thing’s for certain. I’ll keep my promise.
Annika Volkov’s pain will be mine.
