‘Look, I’m sorry. I know it’s not exactly fair but Mum is nuts about Christmas,’ Mikhail said as they pulled up in front of the massive house.
Emma smoothed down her dress, avoiding eye contact with him, and stared out of the window at the stone steps and the huge entryway. ‘My family are also quite keen on Christmas, Mikey,’ she muttered, pushing her red hair behind her ears and then letting her shoulders slump. She’d been with Mikhail Chambers for nine months now. They met on the wards over a patient and had had an immediate flaming row. She was a surgical trainee, he was medical; she thought her patient should go to ICU, he thought they should be referred to palliative care. Annoyingly it turned out he was right, and what made her even more furious was when he’d looked down his nose at her and muttered: ‘Surgeons: bloody muppets,’ as he left the ward. She had been sorely tempted to fling the over-full and loosely capped pot of urine in her hand right at his blonde, handsome, arrogant head.
The next day when he brought her a Cadbury’s Creme Egg to apologize, she had flung that back at him, lying about being lactose intolerant (which was annoying because she sodding loved a good creme egg). She started softening when he brought her a soymilk latte the next day (not something they dished out in the canteen, so she knew he would have had to walk the half a mile to the nearest Costa to get it). By the end of the week he’d caught her eating a full box of Malteasers in the mess, and told her she had to go out with him that night to apologize for lying or he would report her to the General Medical Council for probity issues.
Since then the relationship had moved at warp speed. When August came and it was time to leave the hospital accommodation, they had moved in together. Emma had been shocked that Mikey had managed to find a flat so central, with an actual view of Hyde Park, for such an amazingly cheap rate, but she worked so hard she didn’t have the time or the wherewithal to question it. He’d met her parents, charmed them and the rest of her family to bits, then a month ago he’d asked her dad if he could marry her, and the next day he got down on one knee outside the patient bay where they’d had their first argument and asked her.
So you’d think everything was perfect, and it was. Only she hadn’t met his family, and up until now he hadn’t even offered to take her. She knew they were important to him; he talked loads on the phone to them, often speaking in quiet, affectionate Russian with his mum or his Auntie Tasha, teasing his dad, shouting ‘What ho!’ down the phone to his ‘Mad Uncle Bertie’, bantering with his two sisters and many cousins, making funny voices for his nephews and nieces, talking weird science stuff with his Uncle Ed or horses with his Auntie Tilly and his cousin Arabella. But he never offered Emma the phone, never even mentioned her to any of them.
She’d begun to feel like a dirty secret, and then out of the blue last week he’d asked if she would come and spend Christmas with them. Time off was precious as a junior doctor. Emma had been working last Christmas and had been looking forward to spending it with her family this year, especially with all the recent trouble her mum and dad had been having. She didn’t want to spend it with people she’d never met before, and now that she was outside this bloody great mansion she was feeling even more homesick. Why hadn’t he said his family lived in a massive stately home? Thinking of how proud she’d been to take him along to see her parents’ small terraced house made her feel a little ill now. She paled further when she remembered all the problems they’d had at home over the last few months. She’d been too embarrassed to tell Mikey about it, and now that she knew how loaded he and his family was she was glad she’d kept her mouth shut. There was no way she was taking him back there any time soon.
‘I know, and I’m really sorry, but I wouldn’t have asked if it wasn’t really important. Next year your family could come here if they wanted. That’s how my big sister does it; her bloke’s family thought it was a bit weird at first but they’re used to it now.’
‘Wow, your mum must be really crazy about Christmas.’
‘Ever since I can remember she’s been the most obsessively festive person I know, bar maybe Auntie Tasha.’ He shrugged. ‘Dad took us aside one year, it was about the time we’d all figured out Father Christmas wasn’t real and had started wanting to play on our iPads and be grumpy teenage twats rather than join in properly with the family. He’d told us that Mum wasn’t as lucky as us, and at our age there was nobody around for her who gave a shit if she had a good Christmas or even if she was warm enough or had enough food. It’s the most angry I’ve ever seen Dad get.’ He grinned. ‘I still pretend I believe in Father Christmas now.’
Emma let out a nervous giggle. ‘I’m not sharing a room with you if your crazy mum is coming in in the middle of the night with your stocking, you weirdo.’
Mikey laughed with her. ‘Maybe she’ll make an exception this year since you’re new; but I warn you, she still does it for my sister and her husband, and they’ve been married for five years.’ As their laughter faded he turned towards her and took her hand, pulling it into his lap.
‘Ems.’ He looked down at their linked hands and shifted uncomfortably in his seat for a moment. ‘Have you heard of Nick and Anya Chambers, and Ed Southern?’
‘Of course I have I –’ Emma froze before her wide eyes flashed to his. She’d never linked Mikey to that Chambers. Never would have even considered he could be related to the men behind the worldwide energy revolution. ‘Oh my God.’
‘I’m sorry I didn’t tell you,’ he said quickly, squeezing her hand more tightly. ‘It’s just security is so tight, secrecy is drummed into us. Dad got shot once, see, years ago, and then this Russian bloke who lives a few miles away was killed in the night in his own bloody bed. This guy was into oil pipelines and they reckoned it was all somehow linked, so it scared everyone enough that Mum and Dad went security crazy when we were little. Things are better now but it still feels weird talking about what they do.’ He rubbed the back of his neck, frowning up at the house. ‘And look, I know this is going to sound bad but sometimes when people know you have money it can change what they think of you.’ Emma tried to pull her hand away and he gripped it more firmly. ‘Hey,’ he said, leaning across the gearstick to give her a brief kiss. ‘I know that doesn’t matter to you, okay? I’m sorry I wasn’t more honest.’
Emma looked up at the steps again. ‘You didn’t get that flat for same rent we were paying in hospital accommodation, did you?’ She looked back at him and he grinned sheepishly.
‘Okay – no. It’s Uncle Ed’s old place. He bought a house down here so Auntie Tilly could be with the horses full time. I paid all your rent back into your account pretty much as soon as you paid it in so –’
‘You did what?’
He grinned. ‘It’s not my fault you and online banking have a weird existential relationship.’
Emma huffed and punched his arm. ‘I’ve got better things to do than check my balance every five minutes, Mr Moneybags.’ Mikey laughed, then they sat in silence, Emma still looking up at the door and Mikey keeping a firm grip on her hand. She jumped in her seat when she saw the door open and a large dog come hurtling down the steps followed by two smaller ones. The biggest dog jumped up on Emma’s side of the car, barked in through the window, and then just stared at them, its tongue hanging out and its tail going bananas. Mikey laughed and turned from Emma to fling open his door. The dog barked again and then charged around the car to jump up on Mikey and start licking his face with a vengeance.
‘Alright, Alright, Myska,’ Mikey said through his laughter, rubbing the dog’s neck. ‘You coming?’ he asked Emma as he pushed the dog down and planted his feet outside the car. Emma took a deep breath and opened her door.
As they walked up the stone steps Mikey took her hand and gave it a squeeze; Myska bumped her other hand with her nose and started licking it, causing her to let out a nervous giggle. She looked up to the doorway and saw a blonde, middle-aged, stunning woman standing there, her eyes fixed on their joined hands. Next to her was a tall, dark-haired, middle-aged man with his arm wrapped around the blonde’s shoulders. Of course Emma recognized them, there wasn’t a human being on the planet who wouldn’t. As they arrived at the top step Anya Chambers reached out and caught hold of Mikey’s free wrist, wrapping her hand around it. She laid her other hand over his heart and then closed her eyes for a moment and smiled. When she opened them she lurched forward and wrapped her arms around him.
‘Mum,’ he muttered into her hair, dropping Emma’s hand to hug his mother back. ‘Mum, this is Emma,’ he went on softly as she pulled back and looked over to where Emma was standing. Myshka barked again, nudging Emma’s hand so that she was stroking his head, but Mikhail’s mum made a hand gesture and the dog trotted to her side, then dropped to the floor.
As the dark-haired man started hugging Mikey and slapping him on the back, Emma opened her mouth to say something coherent, but closed it again. The beautiful blonde was studying her silently, her head cocked to the side. When their eyes met, however, the blonde stepped forward, smiled such a beautiful smile it almost took Emma’s breath away, and then pulled Emma in for a hug herself.
‘I am so pleased to meet you at last, Emma,’ the blonde said, pulling back slightly and framing Emma’s face with her hands. ‘And I’m sorry about Myshka; he has been thoroughly spoilt by my offspring I’m afraid. Dog training is not one of their strong suits.’
‘Thanks, Mrs Chambers, I’m happy to be here,’ Emma said. ‘And … and I love dogs.’
‘Please call me Anya.’
‘Uh … okay.’ Emma smiled to mask her confusion. She had been sure Mikey had not told his family about her yet. What was this ‘finally’ business about?
‘Emma,’ Mikey’s dad’s deep voice broke through her thoughts. ‘I’m Nick. Thank you for giving up your Christmas with your family; it means so much to us.’ He pulled her into another brief hug, muttering, ‘My wife suffers from a little Christmas psychosis I’m afraid. You’ll get used to it.’
‘What ho, chaps!’ boomed a loud, posh voice from down the hall. ‘You lot going to stand out there forever or do we all get to meet the new lady?’ Nick rolled his eyes as he was shuffled to the side to accommodate a red-faced but attractive middle-aged man, who by his greeting could only be Uncle Bertie.
Uncle Bertie took Emma’s hand and said, ‘May I say that’s a frightfully nice blouse you’re wearing.’ Emma looked down at her jumper, then back up at Uncle Bertie’s earnest expression, before she burst out laughing along with everyone else.
*****
‘Uh … hi.’ Emma was standing on the front step of her family home looking down in shock at an immaculate Anya. Anya’s head was turned to the side, her narrowed-eyed gaze on next-door’s terrace. Emma’s heart sank. Some of the windows next door were boarded up, there was a broken down car in the driveway and the front lawn was strewn with rubbish, including, if you looked hard enough, condoms and used needles. The contrast with Emma’s parents’ small front garden was stark; the chaos on the other side of the fence made her dad’s manicured lawn and painstakingly weeded tulips look faintly ridiculous.
‘Hello, Emma,’ Anya said, dragging her eyes from next door to smile up at Emma. Anya was wearing killer high-heeled leather boots over skinny jeans and Emma was in flats, but at five foot eleven Emma was still a couple of inches taller. ‘I’m sorry to arrive unannounced but I was in London with Nick and I wanted to meet your family.’
‘Oh, right.’ Emma managed to recover from her shock and paste a fake smile on her face. ‘Mikey’s not here though … I haven’t … um …’ Emma hadn’t told Mikhail she was coming home today. She’d been making excuses for weeks to stop him coming to see her family again.
It wasn’t just that the crappy area they lived in embarrassed her, because before the squatters next door had moved in she’d been happy for him to visit. It was that she knew if he found out what was happening he would want to fix it somehow, and she just couldn’t bear his pity. Her parents’ pride would have been hurt and she couldn’t bear that either. ‘Right, please, come in. Mum and Dad are just in the kitchen. They’ll be really um … they’ll be really pleased to meet you.’ Emma’s hands fluttered nervously before she got it together and moved back from the door to let Anya through.
‘Guys, this is Anya Chambers, Mikey’s mum,’ Emma said as she walked into the cramped kitchen. Emma’s dad froze with his cup of tea halfway to his lips; her mum slowly retracted her hand from the chicken’s arse she was stuffing, and her brother choked on his 7-Up.
‘Oh … goodness me,’ her mum muttered as she withdrew her hands from the chicken. ‘Well, it’s lovely to meet you, Mrs –’
‘Call me Anya, please.’ Anya smiled and the full force of her beauty and glamour was like a physical presence in the kitchen.
‘Crikey,’ muttered Aaron, his mouth falling open in shock.
‘I’m Judy,’ Emma’s mum said, moving to the sink to wash off her hands, then skirting the table to shake Anya’s. During all this, Emma’s brother and dad remained opened-mouthed, her dad’s tea still suspended in midair.
‘Malcolm, Aaron,’ her mum said through gritted teeth, her foot kicking back to smack her husband in the shin. ‘Say hello to Mikey’s mum.’
‘Hello,’ Malcolm managed to say, his cup staying where it was. Aaron for his part just stared. Emma’s mum rolled her eyes.
‘You have to forgive my son, he’s … well … he’s a teenager. My husband I have no excuses for.’
Anya laughed and placed a hand on Emma’s mum’s arm reassuringly.
‘Please, I’m the one who should apologize. Barging in here on a Sunday. You must think me incredibly pushy. I know I also need to say sorry for taking your daughter away from you on Christmas day. I’m afraid I can be selfish when it comes to the holidays. But I hope next year you might consider all coming to stay with us.’
‘Sweet.’ Emma rolled her eyes at Aaron’s awed whisper. Since she’d told him who Mikhail’s parents were he’d been bugging her constantly to meet them.
It took about an hour for her family to relax in Anya’s company. Emma had liked her when she’d stayed with the Chambers family over Christmas. She had a dry sense of humour, and when you spoke to her she listened so intently it seemed as if she was hanging on every word, absorbing every gesture. It was weird but also strangely endearing, and it certainly helped her family to warm to her quickly. But just as Emma’s mum was about to start serving lunch, it started again. The walls between the two houses weren’t exactly thin, but with the volume those pricks next door put their heavy metal noise up to, you’d think the band was performing live in their kitchen. After ten minutes of strained attempts at conversation over the noise, Emma’s dad swore under his breath and banged on the connecting wall. A few minutes after that, a loud crash sounded from the living room.
‘Jesus Christ,’ Emma’s dad muttered, pushing up from his chair and stalking out of the kitchen, the others following at a slower pace. A brick was lying in the middle of the carpet surrounded by glass.
‘Oh,’ Emma’s mum said in a broken little whisper, her hand going to her mouth and her tears pooling in her eyes as they all followed her dad into the room. ‘When are they going to stop? And with company here and …’
‘It’s not actually that bad an area, Anya,’ Emma’s dad tried to explain, turning towards Anya after having taken his wife into his arms. ‘These bloody hooligans moved in a few months ago and since then …’ He trailed off, his eyes now suspiciously wet. Seeing her strong father near tears actually caused Emma physical pain.
‘The police just seem to give out ASBOs. They can’t put a stop to it,’ Emma added, putting her arm around her brother who for once allowed a show of affection. ‘Squatters’ rights are difficult to get around.’
‘Stupid ASBOs,’ Aaron spat. ‘Those wankers wear that shit like a badge of honour.’
Anya was staring at the brick with her head cocked to the side. After a moment she turned to the family and gave them all a cool smile.
‘If you’ll excuse me,’ she said quietly, her voice somehow colder and her face expressionless. ‘I do believe I left something in the car. I won’t be a moment.’
They all watched, speechless, as she swept out of the house. Emma turned to her mum and shrugged. ‘Guess she got spooked.’ Judy’s mouth tightened but she held in anything she might have said about Emma’s future mother-in law.
‘Stuck-up bitch,’ Aaron muttered, not being quite as diplomatic.
‘Right, come on, love,’ her dad said, steering her and her mum away from the mess. ‘I’ll call the police and the window blokes, and we’ll start lunch.
Just after they entered the kitchen, the music shut off and they heard muffled raised voices through the wall instead. Relieved to have some brief respite from the heavy metal, they started eating, but after a minute or two there was a loud crash against the interconnecting wall.
‘What the bloody hell?’ Emma’s dad muttered as they all lowered their utensils and turned towards the noise. Next came the screaming: piercing, fear-filled and blood-curdling. Then silence.
‘Malcolm, I think you’d better make those phone calls now,’ Judy said in high-pitched voice, and Malcolm nodded, leaving the remains of his lunch to speak to the police. Five minutes later there was a knock on the door and they all froze.
‘Probably the police,’ Emma muttered.
‘Stay here,’ Malcolm said, a rare tone of authority in his voice as he addressed his family. He stalked to the door, but when he returned he didn’t have the beleaguered policemen they so often had to call to the house with him, it was Anya.
‘Here it is,’ she said, holding up a bottle of red wine with a huge smile on her face. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes sparkling. ‘Sorry, Judy; if I’d known we were having chicken I would have brought white.’
‘Uh …’ Judy glanced at the adjoining wall, then back at Anya. ‘That’s okay. Look, I hope you don’t –’
‘I haven’t had this much fun in years,’ Anya said, practically skipping across the kitchen to take her place at the table. Something on Anya’s sleeve caught Emma’s eye as Anya lifted her hand to her wineglass. Her pristine white shirt had a smear of red on the cuff. Anya followed the direction of her gaze, then quickly jerked her sand-coloured jumper down to cover the offending stain.
‘Damn lipstick gets everywhere,’ she said, and when she caught Emma’s eye with hers she gave her a wink.
The next knock on the door was the police. They were far more upbeat than Emma had ever seen them.
‘Don’t know what’s gone on over there,’ one of the officers said, shaking his head. ‘Must have had some sort of barney. They’ve all been beaten up good and proper; bloody noses, black eyes, one of them can barely stand.’ He shrugged. ‘Anyway, the good thing is they’re all moving on.’
‘They’re leaving?’ Judy breathed. After months of aggravation, fear, and attempts to get them evicted she didn’t seem to be able to process the fact that they would just up and leave of their own accord.
‘Shocked us too,’ the officer said. ‘Never come across more stubborn squatters, but you should see them scrambling around to pack up their stuff. They can’t get out of there quick enough.’
Anya stayed out of sight in the kitchen during the police visit, claiming that she wouldn’t want to get in the way of ‘family business’, but she emerged just as they were driving away. After she’d said goodbye and managed to hug all the members of Emma’s family, even an embarrassed Aaron, Emma showed her to the door.
Anya pulled Emma in for a hug, then moved to the doorstep. Once there, something caught Anya’s eye and she turned her head to the side. Emma frowned and leaned out to see what Mikey’s mum was looking at. To her surprise the four big, tattoed men and two scantily clad women who had made her parents’ lives hell for the last six months were streaming out of the house. They were never exactly dressed for business meetings, but they definitely looked more dishevelled than their normal heroin chic. There were rips in their clothes, which were stained with not only dirt but also obvious splatters of blood. One man was holding a wad of blood-soaked toilet roll up to his nose, another was squinting to try and see through the one eye that wasn’t swollen completely shut, and two were limping badly. They were all dragging bin liners full of their stuff. To Emma’s confusion, when two of the men caught sight of Anya they froze in their tracks and their bodies stiffened with what appeared to be fear. Anya turned towards them more fully and raised her hand to give them a small finger wave. The movement caused them to flinch in terror before they turned and jogged away from the house.
‘Um … what …?’
Anya turned back to Emma and smiled, reaching to wrap her hand around Emma’s wrist and then place her other hand over Emma’s heart. ‘I’m glad you’re joining my family, Emma. My son loves you very much. You make him happy. Thank you.’
‘Uh … okay, Anya, I –’
Anya withdrew her hands and stepped back. ‘Call me Goodie,’ she threw over her shoulder with a grin and another wink.
