I just lost a bet. Amelia was sure Piper would let me in, but I was much more skeptical. How fucked-up is it that my ex-wife knows the woman I love better than I do? I truly hope I still have a chance to fix things and win her back. I need her in my life like I need fucking air.
I stop in the middle of her room. My hands are still in my pockets. She closes the door, edges to her bed, and sits down. I take a step forward and hesitate. Is it okay if I join her? What if my closeness freaks her out?
“You can sit, Hunter,” she mutters in annoyance, reading my mind.
I give her a tiny smile and sit down beside her. “How are you?” I ask, and her eyebrows go up to her hairline. Her mouth forms a little O as her beautiful lips part. This simple question isn’t something she expected.
“I’m good. I love my life here. I enjoy spending time with Story and Amelia. Everything’s fine.” She shrugs. “What about you? How is your school coming along?”
Licking my lips, I suddenly start sweating. I was right; she didn’t read my emails.
“Things with my school are slowly moving in the right direction. As for the rest, unfortunately, I can’t say I’m good, but I’m trying.”
“I’m happy to know things with your school are good,” she says, her eyes softening. “But what’s wrong with the rest? Are there problems with the team? Or maybe Autumn Dunn?”
“No, everything is good with LACFC. We won all our games in March, so the team is on the roll. I haven’t heard from Autumn Dunn since she was fired,” I tell her and take a deep breath. “My house is too quiet without Story…and you. I prefer to practice and go to the gym—be literally anywhere but home.”
Piper blinks and looks away. She loosens her ponytail, letting her hair cascade over her shoulders. I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, locking my hands in front of me. The urge to thread my fingers through her long locks is huge, but I’m doing everything I can to avoid it. I’m more than sure she wouldn’t like that.
“You can’t say things like that.”
“I think I should,” I reply. Her eyes narrow slightly. “There is no one to blame but me for how I feel. I’m just trying to be honest with you.”
“Honest with me?” she asks. “Like you were honest when you told me we needed to break our agreement? Or when you completely disregarded me after I confessed my feelings to you?”
“That was the biggest mistake I’ve ever made. And I’m incredibly sorry about it.”
“You being sorry won’t change anything, Hunter. It’s a little too late for that. We all have our limits, and I reached mine the day I left your house all those months ago,” she exclaims, collecting her hair and starting to braid it. “I deserve better.”
My heart’s going insane. It beats loudly and violently, forbidding me from thinking straight. I lean back and turn to face her. “You deserve everything. The fucking world on a silver platter if that’s what you—”
“I wanted to love and be loved in return, Hunter. Nothing else.”
“I love you,” I blurt and hold my breath. Her room is dim; only a bedside lamp illuminates the space. And yet I see how her face pales, and she lets go of her hair. “I should’ve said—”
“Hunter, stop. Please, stop.” She jumps to her feet, hovering over me. Then she starts pacing, moving back and forth. “You have no right to come here and tell me you love me.”
“I didn’t know where you were because no one would talk to me about you. Except Hayden, but he’s just like me—in total darkness.”
“Hayden manipulated me into telling you about my feelings, even when I didn’t want to do that. Unless he finally understands that what he did was wrong, I don’t want to talk to him.”
“He understands. If you give him a chance to explain himself, he’ll make things right. He misses you, Piper. He can’t even write new songs.”
She balls her fists, her nostrils flaring. My words have the opposite effect from the one I’m hoping for. I’m pissing her off.
“Is that supposed to make me feel bad about my decision to leave?”
“No, of course not.” I jump to my feet as well, halting her in her tracks. “I’m back in therapy, and things are honestly improving. I want to be the man who’s worthy of your love, because you truly deserve the best in the world. You’re kind and loyal; you’re gorgeous, and your soul is beautiful. You’re everything I want, and I’ll do anything to prove it to you.”
Piper folds her arms across her chest. She bites her bottom lip, her eyebrows etched in confusion. A long breath leaves her mouth, and her hands drop to her sides.
“Those are just words, Hunter,” she whispers. “I loved you then, and I love you still…but I don’t want to be with you. Not until I see that you’ve really changed.”
All I hear is I love you still. It plays in my mind on repeat, making my head spin. She loves me. I have a chance to make things right, to make her mine forever.
“I desperately wanted to talk to you,” I confess, stepping closer and cupping her face in my palms. “Your phone was off. Your family refused to tell me where you were…I felt low because I had so many things to tell you, but I couldn’t. And then I remembered your email address.”
Piper furrows her brow. “I haven’t checked my email in months.”
“I’ve been sending you an email every day. I think by today there must be around a hundred of them.” I smile, caressing her cheek with my thumb, and she lets me. “Every single day without you has felt like torture. It’s like I’ve been robbed of all my motivation, like I exist on the verge of total indifference. Just another day. Just another evening. Nothing makes sense without you.”
“Hunter, I’m—”
I press my finger to her mouth, silencing her. “I should’ve never let you go. I should’ve never let you leave my house that day. And I should’ve never tried to hide our relationship, especially when I already knew I was in love with you.” I drop one of my hands from her face and slip it around her waist. “My father’s infidelity affected me way more than I ever admitted. It made it hard for me to trust. I always expected the worst, pushing women away, hurting them, just to avoid getting hurt myself. I was sure I’d hurt you…and you’d end up hating me. And even one single thought about that made me fucking feral. I couldn’t stand the idea of you hating me. And I flipped when I realized I loved you.”
“It hurt me more than you think,” Piper whispers, her eyes locked on mine. “I knew you were in love with me…and yet you chose to let me walk away. You didn’t fight for me, and you were so quick to erase any trace of us together…it made me feel like a whore.”
“Never,” I snap, louder than I expected. “You’re my everything.”
Piper swallows audibly and takes a step back. My hands drop from her sides, and my skin becomes cold.
“Your words aren’t enough, Hunter. Not anymore.”
My heart pummels so hard, I feel nauseous. I’ve had so many stressful situations throughout my life, so many crucial, high-stakes games. So many moments that determined who I am today, that helped me forge my personality and my beliefs. All that gets lost when she’s not with me. When she stands just a little too far away from me, it feels as if she’s on the other side of the world.
“I understand.” I nod, taking a step back. “I know what I need to do.”
She shrugs, avoiding looking me in the eye.
“There’s a game in two days. Tottenham Hotspur versus Atlético Madrid. Angelo saved a few seats for my family. Will you go with me and Story?”
Her eyes sparkle, but she quickly covers it. “What about Amelia?”
I snort. I can’t believe the love of my life is getting along with my ex. It feels surreal. “Amelia doesn’t like going to the games. She’ll want to stay home.”
“She and I went to several games while you were in the US,” she counters, and I snicker louder. “What’s so funny?”
“I just still find it hard to believe that you were here all this time. With my ex and my daughter. Living in my house, going to the games.”
Piper smiles, quickly masking it with a cough. “We even went to a game in Paris. PSG is a great team.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Wanna bet?”
“Bet? With you? A professional soccer player?” I nod, and she bursts out laughing. “No thank you. I don’t like losing.”
You’ll never lose. You deserve all the wins in the world.
“Will you go with me?” I ask, and she rolls her eyes.
“Sure. Angelo was incredibly nice to me in Spain. I’d love to cheer him on and return the favor.”
“He’ll appreciate it.” I open the door and walk out of her room. Piper comes closer and lingers in the doorframe. I debate my next move for only a second. Then, inching forward, I press my lips to her forehead. “Night, Piper.”
“Night, Hunter.”
Things didn’t go the way I planned, but they still turned out okay. My therapist would be proud. Today I did something incredibly important. I confessed my feelings to the woman I love, and I finally figured out what I need to do to make her stop doubting me. This game is going to be…eventful.
