The water never runs cold which is some kind of miracle. When we finally turn it off, I have to pry my lips off of Henry, even if I don’t want to. We don’t bother with clothes. He just wraps a fluffy white towel around me and kisses me again.
I’m not drunk anymore, but I feel drunk. Drunk on something else. Drunk on this tension we’re both finally giving into. Drunk on anticipation.
I’m going to give him my virginity. Tonight. And I don’t think it’s part of the deal I asked him to make yesterday. I’m not asking him to take it in some casual manner so I can be rid of it. I want to give Henry this first because he means something to me now. What that is, I don’t know. But it’s about more than him being hot and British and amazing in bed. It’s about the feeling I get when I’m around him, like I’m safe, seen, and treasured. I want to feel like this every day of my life. I don’t want to let him go, and I know it’s a risk.
I think…judging by the way he’s kissing me and looking at me, he feels it too. He wants this, whatever it is, to be more than one night. But what if I’m wrong? That fear is still there, but I’m not going to be afraid anymore. I’m ready to go for what I want.
So I tug him toward the bedroom. He doesn’t pull away or hesitate. Instead, he wraps his hands under my ass and lifts me up, carrying me to the bed. Once he lies me down, he leans over me, grabbing my face under my jaw.
“We don’t have to do anything you want to do…”
I shut him up with another kiss. Pulling away, I whisper. “I’m sure. I promise.”
For a moment, I’m lost in his baby blue eyes, the subtle creases around them, the very few strands of gray in his thick, dark hair. But then he’s gone, leaving me naked and cold as he walks back to his pants, laying on the floor. I almost panic, thinking he’s about to back out.
But then I notice he’s sifting through his pockets and I hear the crinkle of a condom wrapper. I don’t know why the condom is what makes my heart race a little faster. It suddenly makes everything so real. This is happening.
With Kirsten’s dad.
“We’ll take things slow,” he says as he climbs onto the bed, sitting on his knees between my legs. I’m not even embarrassed by him seeing me so naked anymore.
I don’t want him to take things slow, but then again…Henry is endowed, and I’m scared for the first time. Swallowing, I nod.
Then he hovers over me again, kissing me deep this time. I grasp onto the back of his head. His fingers glide down my sides leaving goosebumps in their trail. I’m so lost in his touch and his kiss that I’ve turned off every thought in my head.
When he finally pulls away to put on the condom, I can hardly control the erratic beating in my chest. This want has turned into a need.
But he surprises me when after getting the condom on he doesn’t come back to me. Instead, he pulls me up to sitting and brings me to his lap so I’m straddling him on my knees.
“I want you to be in control.” With his back against the headboard, his hands find my hips and he lifts me until I feel him, pressing gently against my entrance. With our eyes locked, I slowly lower myself down. My muscles stretch and clench right away, and I bite my lip as we’re met with some resistance.
Before I can even hesitate for a moment, he grabs me by the back of the neck, pulling me close until his lips are on my ear. “Come on, baby. Ride my dick like I know you want to.”
The low growl of his voice and his filthy, filthy words urge me on, and I let the desire in me take over. Shutting off every thought of fear in my head, I slam my hips down until I’m speared by him. There is a burst of pain and burning, but I’m too distracted by the howling moan that comes out of him and the way his eyes start to roll back in his head as I move.
It feels so…intense. I am consumed by him and so full, but I can’t keep still. My body moves on its own, chasing every new sensation. And when I hit the right spot, the one that makes me moan without even knowing I’m doing it, I keep up the motion.
“That’s it, baby. Get yourself off. Use me.” His voice is a husky, breathless gasp, and I know he’s struggling to keep from coming, but I do as he says and I let the sounds of his pants and the pleasure on his face light the flame inside of me.
His mouth finds my breasts as I move, and the sharpness of his teeth soft against my sensitive flesh only escalates my arousal. For it being my first time, I’m not worried about doing anything wrong because he is there to guide me. His hands on my hips and then wrapped around my waist, I follow his lead.
Suddenly, I’m slamming down on Henry hard, and it feels like fireworks are going off in my body. I let out a cry as I wrap my arms around his neck, my hips still thrusting through my orgasm. By the way his body jerks upward, I know he’s coming too. And he squeezes me back as we tremble and gasp for air.
It feels like a long time before my heart returns to a normal pace.
“Jesus,” he mutters. His lips are against my neck, and I don’t want to let him go. He must not want to let me go either because his hands slide up and down my spine.
“That was fucking amazing,” he says. I should say something but I’m not ready to talk yet. My body is still humming, and my mind is reeling, and I don’t want to leave this moment.
“Are you okay?” He pulls away to look at my face.
I nod, finally looking into his eyes. His fingers brush my still-wet hair out of my face. Then he kisses me gently, soft lips against mine. My heart is pounding in my chest but no longer from exertion. Now it’s something else entirely. I feel overcome with emotion, and I suddenly don’t want this trip to end. These days with Henry have been amazing. I don’t see him as my best friend’s dad anymore.
Then, the reality hits me like a brick. I slept with Kirsten’s dad.
I slept with Kirsten’s dad.
“You look scared. Everything okay?”
I don’t even realize that my eyes are wide and I probably do look terrified. “I’m fine.”
“I’d like to take a proper shower,” he says before kissing me again. “I’ll be quick.”
“Okay,” I reply with a forced smile.
Concern colors his features as his brow creases and his smile falls. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. That was…perfect.”
“Perfect is good.”
“And you said it wouldn’t be perfect.”
Henry gets in the shower and I sit on the bed in my underwear staring at my phone, wondering how I’m going to tell Kirsten that I’ve just lost my virginity to her dad. I knew what I was getting myself into. I saw this coming, but I was letting my attraction to Henry cloud my vision. Now I’m stuck knowing I can’t not tell Kirsten about losing my virginity and I can’t lie about who I lost it to.
And what if she’s so mad at me that she stops being friends with me? On top of losing one of the most important people in my life, I just made any hope of a relationship with Henry that much more impossible. He’ll never want to date me if she doesn’t approve.
