Things between Henry and I were nice, but it’s time for me to be the practical one. It was never going to work out. It wasn’t real. It was just fun, and after everything I’ve learned about myself, it’s time for me to stop being so flippant and reckless.
I have to start thinking with my head and not my heart.
There are three flights leaving for Boston today. The weather has cleared and the flights are booking up fast. I hate to leave without saying goodbye, but it’s not like I’ll never see him again. I just need to make the grown up decision and let things go.
So before he wakes up, I sneak back to the empty room I shared with Kirsten and book my flight.
Goodbye four-hundred-and-sixty-seven dollars.
Of course, I could always ride back with him. Then his words at the cabin the other day come back. I latch onto the men who gave me an ounce of attention. That’s what I do, and I can’t keep doing that to Henry. Plus if I drive back with him, then it will only make me latch harder than I already am.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I hit purchase. It’s done. I’m flying back to Boston at three forty-five this afternoon.
Just then, there’s a knock on the door. My stomach drops. I square my shoulders and walk to the door to answer it. Of course, he’s standing there. Looking disheveled, a little hungover, and still so delicious it should be illegal. A spark of hope and excitement travels through my veins. Maybe we will have sex again. Maybe he’ll kiss me. Ask me to stay. Tell me he loves me.
Easy, Laila. There you go being irrational and crazy again.
‘Good morning,’ he greets me with a sense of unease in his voice.
‘Morning. I…uh…I just…”
Jesus, Laila. Tell him. Just tell him.
‘I booked my flight home today.’
His eyebrows shoot up, and I feel my bones sinking toward the floor. I’m a monster. What have I done?
‘I hope you don’t mind driving back alone. I just figured that was the plan…right?’
‘Um…yeah. That’s fine. I didn’t think you’d want to do another road trip all over again.’
‘It wasn’t so bad,’ I reply with an awkward laugh. ‘I’d even say it was sort of fun.’
‘Yeah, fun…’
The air grows thick with tension. ‘What time is your flight?’
‘Three-forty-five. I guess I should get to the airport around two-thirty?’
‘Yeah, good plan. I’ll drop you off of course.’
‘I’m sure Kirsten can if you don’t want to…’
‘Why wouldn’t I want to?’
I can’t take my eyes off of him, but I also can’t bear to look him in the eye.
‘I don’t know. I feel like I’ve been a bit much this week.’
‘You’ve been perfect,’ he mutters softly, and it feels a little like my friend’s dad and the man my heart is breaking for are becoming one. Or have always been one I guess. He keeps flipping back and forth in my mind, especially since we arrived and I’ve seen him around Kirsten.
He’s staring at me like he’s waiting for me to say something or take back what I’ve already said, but all I do is thank him for a ride and reach out to give him a hug. Like there’s nothing between us. Like we don’t have the strongest connection than I’ve ever had with anybody. And I can see the irritation in his eyes.
But it’s my turn to be the practical one.
‘I wish you didn’t have to go,’ Kirsten whines over breakfast.
‘It’s time for me to get back to my life. I’ve been gone for a week.’ And what an eye opening week it’s been.
‘What about you and my dad?’ she asks over her cup of tea.
‘It’s weird even hearing you say that, Kirsten.’ We’re all still nursing hangovers. I can’t quite stomach the smell of her omelet, and my brain is a little fuzzy today. I’m not quite ready to have “hooking up with your dad” conversations with my best friend.
‘Yeah, well it happened. And regardless of how he and I are related, you two have so much chemistry! That dance last night. The way he looks at you. I’ve never seen my dad act that way toward a woman. He really likes you, Laila. And I think you really like him. You’re just holding back because you’re afraid you’re making the same mistakes all over again.’
‘Of course I’m afraid of that. When I screwed up relationships before, I was the only one getting hurt. Now if I fuck things up with your dad, everyone will get hurt. And I can’t bear the thought of you not talking to me anymore because Henry and I have a nasty break up.’
‘First of all,’ she says, pointing her fork at me. ‘You won’t have a nasty breakup. I can sense these things. And second, you’re totally getting me in the settlement.’
‘So, because of me, your relationship with your dad would be strained? No thanks.’
‘Ugghhh…’ she moans, letting her head hang back. ‘You two are impossible! I can’t believe I’m having to talk you into being less sensible and him into being less spontaneous.’
My head perks up. ‘Wait, what? What did you have to talk to him out of?’
‘I’ll never tell, but the point is that you two are totally in love, but you’re being a dumbass about it.’
This time it’s my turn to let out a groan. She’s right. Henry and I are great together and if she’s saying he wants this as much as I do, then I know I should give him a chance. But then I remember Ben. How easily I threw my heart at him and how easily he tossed it aside. And I didn’t even really care about Ben. But if Henry did that to me? I wouldn’t recover so easily. If ever.
