Blood races past my ears, successfully cutting anything else off. I’ve no fucking clue if anyone calls for me as I storm through the room where everyone’s gathered. My only focus is getting away from her and removing any thoughts of her from my head. What I want to do is wrap my hand around her fucking neck while I fuck my frustration out on her. The temptation to drag her to some unused room in this hotel and do just that only moments ago was so strong that it almost happened. Had it not been for my sister’s interruption then I might have.
She’s my sister’s best friend. I went to school with her. How do I not know any of this?
I fall down onto a bench that’s sitting in the shadows and rest my head back against the wall of the hotel as I try to catch my breath.
I didn’t want to be here today, but I never could have imagined this.
I should remember her.
I rack my brain for any hint of a memory of Tabitha from all my years at school, but I have nothing. Absolutely nothing. The fact that I can’t remember only adds to the anger that’s just about to bubble over. I can’t lose my shit, not today.
I focus on my breathing, but nothing helps. Nothing but ploughing into her fucking body is going to help right now.
She’s got a date.
“Fuck,” I shout into the silence around me.
I rest my elbows on my knees and hang my head.
The sound of footsteps approaching should make me look up, but when I see the colour of the shoes, I don’t bother because I know what’s coming.
“You’ve been fucking my best mate.”
“Apparently so.” There’s no point denying it. I knew she was watching our interaction. She’ll have seen the spark that seems to always be between us, even when I want to fucking kill her with my own bare hands.
“You know, if you actually bothered with your family, like ever, then you might have a clue who we’re all friends with and know who to steer clear of.”
“I don’t need a fucking lecture, Dan.”
“No? Well you’re getting one.”
She doesn’t bother sitting with me. Instead she stands with her hands on her hips as she rants about my life choices. Choices she only assumes because she doesn’t actually know anything about my life.
It dawns on me that Tabitha could have told her everything about me, about my life, my business, about everything, yet she hasn’t. Why? She says she hates me, so wouldn’t the perfect revenge be to tell all my secrets to those I keep them from? She could have sold me out to Danni in a heartbeat, but she hasn’t.
“I haven’t got time for this.” I push from the seat and take a step away from her.
“You fucking hurt her and I’ll kill you.”
Spinning on my heels, I pin her with a look that would make most people cower, but not my feisty little sister. “She’s been lying to you this whole time, Dan. Maybe it should be her you’re ripping into right now.”
“Oh, don’t worry. She’s firmly on my shit list.”
I walk off before Danni has the chance to say any more. I need a fucking drink.
Ignoring everyone, I march straight up to the bar and order myself two whiskys.
“Two at once. You must be really enjoying yourself,” Lana laughs, hopping up onto a vacant stool next to me.
“You have no fucking idea.”
“Try me.”
“I’ve been…” I try to come up with the right term to use to describe what Tabitha and I have been doing, but it eludes me.
“Fucking?” she helpfully adds when I say no more.
“Something like that. Well… she’s here, and it turns out she’s friends with my sister.”
“Oh. That’s… interesting. So, this fuck buddy—” I cringe at her use of that term. There’s most definitely nothing serious between Tabitha and me, but why does hearing those words just feel wrong? “She know who you really are?”
“She my receptionist,” I mutter into my glass.
“Shut the fuck up. The one with the pink hair?”
“Yeah, how’d you—”
“I left something at your flat the last time I was there. You were elsewhere when I came back for it so she let me up. Let me tell you, she was jealous as fuck that I’d spent the previous night up there with you.” A wicked smile curls at Lana’s lips.
“What did you do, Lan?”
“I might have mentioned something about the pack of condoms that were sitting on the side to make her think we’d been, you know.” She waves her hand about instead of saying the words, but I hear them loud and clear. My lip curls at the thought “You don’t need to look so offended. I’ll have you know that I’m an awesome lay.”
“I don’t need to hear shit like that. You’re practically my sister.” She shrugs and orders herself a drink when the barman stops in front of us.
“And another two for him. I think he needs it.”
Lana and I had never really had anything to do with each other in all the years I’d been around her family, with her being three years younger we were always interested in different things. Then after Jon died, we became close. Never that kind of close, though. We both leaned on each other as we got through our grief. We’ve been pretty solid ever since despite our differences. He brought us together, and I’ll forever be grateful because she’s been a great friend to me.
“So… let’s summarise. You’re fucking your receptionist, who also happens to be your sister’s bestie, and she’s here today.”
“She was also in my year at school and I had no idea. And I hate her.”
“You hate her. She’s got you this twisted up because you hate her.”
“The fact that she’s here and was even invited should tell you that she’s not exactly my type.”
“Zach,” she breathes. “I know you don’t want to be in this world, but I’ve got news for you, buddy. Your last name means that it’s where you belong whether you like it or not. Have you ever considered that she might feel the same? She’s working in your studio, for fuck’s sake. She might want to rebel from all this just like you do. She might actually be your perfect woman.”
“Shut the fuck up, Lana.”
I lift my new glass to my lips as an accomplished smile spreads across hers.
“So where is she?” Lana asks, spinning so she can take in the room.
“There,” I mutter, tilting my head in her direction without even looking up from the wooden bar top in front of me.
“Ah yes.” She’s silent as she watches, I assume Tabitha, for a few minutes. “So, how do you want to play this?”
I consider her question for a few minutes, but I don’t get a chance to come up with an answer because my parents come over.
I don’t hear a word of what they ask Lana. Instead I scan the crowd. I don’t want to know where she is, not really, but the temptation to look at her is too strong to ignore.
I find her immediately over Dad’s shoulder. She looks perfectly put together as she laughs at something someone says before taking a sip of her drink while I’m over here feeling like I’m about to erupt at any moment.
The second my dad moves slightly, that moment seems to happen.
“What the fuck?” All the conversations stop around me as I take in the man she’s standing with. Fucking Christian.
I push from the bar stool I’m leaning up against, sending it crashing to the floor. All eyes are on me as I storm across the room.
My fingers wrap around her upper arm and I twist her until she has no choice but to face me.
“He’s your fucking date? What the fuck are you playing at? Do you find this fucking funny? Was this your plan all along?”
“What? Zach, no. I had no idea that—”
“If you would all like to begin making your way to the grand room, the wedding breakfast will be served shortly,” someone behind me says, cutting off whatever Tabitha’s pathetic excuse was about to me.
“Zach, come on. Everyone’s looking. Deal with this later,” Lana whispers in my ear. She wraps her arm around my waist and tries to move me.
“You,” Tabitha says, locking eyes on Lana.
“Nice to meet you again,” Lana says politely to Tabitha who looks about ready to throttle her. “Zach, move now.”
She none too gently tries to drag me in the other direction. When I eventually pull my eyes from Tabitha’s stormy grey ones, I notice that everyone else is also heading that way. Well, those of them who aren’t staring at us.
“This isn’t over.” I pin her with a look before allowing Lana to pull me away. I spot Danni standing in the corner of the room, doing her bridesmaid duty and encouraging everyone to move in the right direction.
“You need to get through today and then you can cause whatever kind of scene you wish. Do not ruin today for Harrison or your parents, please,” Lana begs as we move through the huge room to find our table.
I keep my head down and refuse to look back to see if they’re following us.
Of all people, she’s here with fucking Christian. Crazy thoughts fill my head. “Have they been seeing each other since the night at Pulse? Are they a couple? Then comes the even worse one. “What does this mean for us?” I shake that final one from my head, because it really doesn’t need to be there. It doesn’t mean anything for us because there is no us.
