I shouldn’t have slept with him. I should have walked away and never indulged the pull I had toward him.
Rome said I wouldn’t feel anything, and I normally never did.
Except with him.
With him, I felt every stupid thing I never wanted to feel again.
Pleasure and pain.
Hope and dread.
Longing and fulfillment.
Hate and love.
I told him I was going to the bathroom and slipped out the back door into a dark alley behind Heathen’s Bar. Cole was out there smoking a cig and offered one to me. I let him light it and pulled in a hard drag before turning from him and walking away.
“Katie, sort of wanted to talk while you enjoyed the cig.”
I waved over my shoulder. “Another time, Cole.”
His laugh carried down the alley as I turned the corner quickly. I didn’t need to stay any longer and face Rome. His dark stare would grate my raw nerves, and I would have to admit to enjoying him screwing me in the back of the bar more than I enjoyed sleeping with most men.
I sighed and took another drag of the cigarette before I dropped it and put it out with my stiletto. Then I bent over to pick it up and toss it in the trash. Just as I looked up, I saw the two figures rush me.
They were fast, and I was caught off guard, thinking about a man I shouldn’t be.
The blow over the head was so precise, I didn’t feel it.
When I came to, the white bed sheets and feather bedding under me signaled I wasn’t in my own home. The night flooded back to my memory as I vaulted from the bed.
Mario and Rome rushed in from the doorway. “You’re fine,” Mario instantly reassured me.
I took a deep breath and shut my eyes for a second, putting my palm to the massive egg on my head. “I need some ice, I think.”
Rome looked toward the ceiling as if irritated. “At your bedside.”
“My bedside?” I looked over my shoulder and took in the mahogany nightstand where Advil and an ice pack lay. “Where are we?”
“The pent suite at the Hilton,” Mario answered. “I need to get your doctor back up here. Rome can fill you in if you’re okay.”
I waved away his concern. “You know I’m fine.”
“You take too many bruises to the head, little one, and you won’t be. This job isn’t safe for you anymore.” He shook his head as if ashamed of himself. “It never was.”
Mario Armanelli had a constant hang-up with the fact that I was better at my job than he could ever make a man. He didn’t want me going in and doing the dirty work. It was the protector in him, the one who always wanted a daughter but got two boys instead before his wife passed away.
He always said I made him think of what could have been if they’d had a daughter, but he would never have let his daughter do what I did. I reminded him that if a mob boss had a daughter, she would never have let her daddy tell her what to do. Round and round we went, but he gave in either way because he knew I was right or because I was the best. Or both.
As he disappeared from the room, I downed the two little blue pills and took a gulp of water. I tilted my head to look at the man I’d left in the bar. “So, what’s the damage?”
“Your head, for one.” He pointed.
“And the two men?”
“Dead and gone. Bloodier than normal because I didn’t have time to do clean kills with you lying in the middle of the damn sidewalk.”
I winced at his tone. Rome never hid the monster in him well. I had a soft spot for the beast because he usually came out to play when protecting the family or me. “Sergio wiping the scene? Do we know who they were?”
Rome shrugged. Truth was, if Sergio didn’t wipe the scene, it wouldn’t matter. Our family had almost complete control of the police department at this point. Someone would cover it up. “Georgie isn’t as small-time as we thought.”
“I could have told you that. You blew my cover. I have some information on him.”
“He’s bigger than that. He’s government big.”
“How big in government? Is he pulling strings?”
“We’re looking into it. They’re going to be a juggernaut to deal with, and they seem to have their sights set on you.”
Good. No part of me ever wanted to cower in the corner. My dad didn’t raise me to be that way. I couldn’t save my father, but I could make him proud. I’d stayed in the hot seat to make a difference for the helpless women who’d become prey for people like Jimmy. Mario took him down after I’d brought the right information to the family. Mario wanted trafficking out of the business for good. I would help them do that.
If Georgie was who Rome was saying he was, I could help so many more and solidify my spot in the family.
“I should have choked him out, then?” I joked and nudged Rome in the shoulder.
He glared at me. “No. You shouldn’t have ditched out of the back of my bar into a dark alley. You should have stayed, Katalina.”
The dark depths of his eyes, the way he ground out the words, the way he hovered in my space made me feel wanted, cared for, special.
I leaned away from him, not needing to get lost in the feeling. My purpose was bigger than finding out what love could offer.
I cleared my throat and picked at one of my fingers. “Don’t do that.”
“What?”
“Act like I have a place with or near you. I needed to go. What we did was over and—”
“That’s bullshit. You don’t walk out of my bar into the dark of the night.”
“I do whatever I want.” I raised my voice.
“Not after I sleep with you, you don’t.” He leaned into my face, and his eyes flicked to my lips. “Don’t make me hate you even more, Kate-Bait. Don’t make me regret it.”
I sighed. Rome was the push to my pull and the enforcer to my plan. I baited and trapped the men, and he killed them all for the family. Still, our team dynamic was sandpaper to a wound as we brushed against one another. He couldn’t forget who I was and that I was too close to the family for our relationship not to be messy. I couldn’t forget how fast and effective he’d been at making me want him as he took the life of the man who threatened mine day in and day out.
I couldn’t get any other words out to make him regret what we’d just done. My heart sped up thinking about his kiss, about the way he touched me. I needed Rome, even if I didn’t want to admit it. Because I wanted to be more in the mob than just an untouchable—I wanted to be seen as a part of the family by standing on my own.
Above all else, Rome would never know he had my heart because I knew I could never own the monster that controlled his.
