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Heart of My Monster: Chapter 1

KIRILL

Today is my wedding day.

Which happens to be the second in the span of a week.

And while I don’t believe in wedding fever or the institution of marriage itself, certain circumstances have made this outcome inevitable.

This whole process is necessary for the survival of the house of cards. It won’t be long before the chess pieces take their places on the board.

Truth is, they’ve been where they’re supposed to be from the start.

Everything is going exactly according to plan.

The church brims with people. At the top of the food chain, there’s the Pakhan, the leaders of the brotherhood, and the rest of the members from different organizations.

They’re here to witness the birth of the new man all dealings will go through.

Aka me.

Considering the importance of this event, the church is mined with security detail from all factions. However, Viktor is the one who’s leading the process. I don’t trust anyone else to make this wedding a success.

Most of my men are stationed inside, while the others are guarding the external perimeter. I can leave it to Viktor to come up with the best security plans.

I check my watch and frown when I don’t find an update from Maksim. He should’ve gotten in touch by now.

Unless…he was killed?

I internally shake my head. He couldn’t be dead. Maksim is one of my best men, second best after Viktor in combat, so there’s no one better than him to take care of this loose end.

“Sir?”

I lift my head to stare at the priest. Wrinkles of age surround his eyes as he carefully looks between me and my ‘supposed’ wife-to-be. Perhaps I spent too long staring at my watch and ignoring the robot of a woman who shouldn’t be anyone’s wife.

But she will be.

If everything goes according to plan.

“I apologize,” I say, letting a charming smile tug at my lips. “I’m so eager to take my wife home that I’m counting the minutes.”

Scattered laughter fills the hall. The priest smiles and mumbles that it’s okay.

Kristina, however, is nowhere near amused. She looks too pale, as if she’ll pass out any second now.

That’s it, robot. Show emotions for once in your miserable life.

“You can proceed,” I tell the priest and grab Kristina’s gloved hands in mine. They’re frigid cold, like her expression and corpse-like presence.

Her deep blue eyes look into mine, but they’re lifeless, and the wrong fucking color.

The only color I approve of belongs to those eyes that flicker between green, brown, and yellow in a symphony of emotions.

Her hands were warm, too, when I held them, and she couldn’t stop smiling. She even pinched her thigh when she thought I wasn’t looking.

And when I said ‘I do,’ a sheen covered her eyes as they turned a bright glittery yellow and green. She was so overwhelmed with emotions, she looked to be choked by them.

This one, though? It’s like she’s having a fucking stroke. And not because of emotions, but more due to the lack thereof.

Should I make it worse?

To be completely honest, I don’t believe this woman can ever be useful in my schemes, but if what I gathered about the situation is correct, then it might be worth a try.

I cast a glance at the first bench, where Yulia sits with my sister Karina, who’s barely hanging in there. I told her she didn’t have to attend the wedding, but she vehemently refused and had Anna accompany her. The old woman is holding my sister’s hand—to Yulia’s dismay. Needless to say, my dear mother didn’t want either of them to attend since, according to her sociopathic thinking, they ruin the family’s image.

In fact, she was against this entire wedding happening, and it shows in the lasers she keeps shooting from her rancid eyes.

But the star of this theatrical drama is notably absent.

Igor, his wife, and his son, on the other hand, are watching the show intently on the bride’s side. Or more like, they’re focused on Kristina and her frosty fucking demeanor.

She follows my line of vision, stares at Yulia—or who is supposed to be sitting beside Yulia—then she subtly turns to the priest.

“Do you, Kristina Petrova, take Kirill Morozov to be your husband, to live together in holy matrimony, to love him, to honor him, to comfort him, and to keep him in sickness and in health, forsaking all others, for as long as you both shall live?”

Her eyes focus on mine intently, but it’s like she’s not seeing me. Or perhaps she’s seeing someone else in my lifeless gaze.

“I…” she chokes on the word, swallows, then closes her eyes for a brief second.

She sways on her feet, and a better man would reach out to steady her, but where’s the drama in that?

From my peripheral vision, I catch Igor sitting taller and growing more agitated the longer his daughter remains silent.

“Kristina?” the priest asks as a low murmur breaks out in the crowd.

She opens her eyes, but when she looks at me, there are tears in them, even as her expression remains the same.

My, my. Who knew the robot was capable of feeling?

I didn’t expect much from her today, so this is going way better than I anticipated.

“Is everything okay?” I say loud enough for the front row to hear. I need Igor to listen to me being an absolute gentleman to his daughter, who’s fucking up his image as we speak.

Her lips tremble, and she whispers so low that I can barely hear her, “I can’t…”

“It’s just an ‘I do,’ Kristina. Say it.”

She shakes her head.

“Everyone is watching, including your papa.” My tone turns sinister, provocative. “Say. It.”

“No! I can’t!” she screams at the top of her lungs. This time, not only do I hear it, but the entire audience does, too.

This is really going above and beyond what I knew was coming.

Kristina screaming? In public? At all, for that matter? And with so many emotions?

Someone call the apathy police.

I didn’t think she was capable of saying anything that didn’t sound like a real-life imitation of a robot.

Without another word, she grabs the material of her wedding dress, hikes it up, and runs out of the church, leaving me stranded at the altar.

From the outside looking in, I should be either mad or humiliated. In reality, I’m barely stopping myself from breaking out in laughter.

Now, that’s how it’s done.

The crowd goes silent, but only for a beat before their voices rise and all heads turn toward a red-faced Igor and me.

Time to be a hero.

“Everyone,” I speak to them in a calm, completely unfazed voice. “Seems that Kristina is a bit too emotional right now. Please remain seated. We will be back shortly.”

I stride out of the church, tuning out the looks and the vain gossip. As soon as I’m out the door, Viktor falls in step at my side.

“Anything from Maksim?” I ask as I loosen my bow tie.

“Not yet, Boss.”

Fuck.

“Keep trying to reach him.” I stop outside the church and face him. “Where’s Yuri?”

“He said he was feeling sick and had to go back to the house.”

Hmm. Not like him to miss such an event, but I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt. Both he and Maksim have been such assholes ever since I sent Sasha away, even though she said she wanted to leave.

Karina, too.

I caught her and Maksim having coffee together like when Sasha was with them. But instead of laughing and joking around, they were sighing like old ladies.

Then those insolent little shits confronted me about it and nearly got punched in the process. Yuri, on the other hand, stood there and glared at me. He schooled his expression when I looked at him, but I don’t like it.

I’ll have to look into that after I take care of this situation. One thing at a time.

“Block the exit,” I tell Viktor. “No car leaves until I say so.”

He nods and strides toward the entrance.

I take the route in the opposite direction, a hand in my pocket and a small smile on my face. Sure enough, Kristina has gone to the back entrance, where there’s a parking lot that’s usually used by the staff.

Although she was running, she wasn’t fast, considering the heels and the impossibly long wedding dress. By the time I arrive, she’s jogging all over the parking lot. Her tears come faster the more she frantically circles the cars and doesn’t find what she’s looking for.

I hide around the corner and check my watch. At this rate, I’ll get back to my actual wife sooner than I previously calculated.

But for now, I’m only missing popcorn for the movie that I made sure would happen.

Kristina’s headless-chicken phase comes to a halt and the ex-robot actually sobs. “Where are you? I came as you asked… Where are you—”

She cuts herself off and lets her dress drop to the ground as none other than my ex-baby brother—he’s a fucking giant now—emerges from between the cars. He has a hand in his pocket and the other holds a gun as he breathes harshly.

“Konstantin…” she lets out in a murmur.

“You came,” he whispers back, his face appearing boyish, like he’s a decade younger.

A bit of a weird moment to witness.

Kristina takes a hesitant step toward him. “I…couldn’t do it. Even if my parents disown me and my brother kills me, I couldn’t…couldn’t marry Kirill when all I can see is you in his face. I just…couldn’t.”

“Good, because if you didn’t come, I was planning to kidnap you and hold you hostage before my fucker of a brother could marry you.”

Fuck you, asshole. If it weren’t for me, none of this would be happening.

“Oh, Konstantin.” She palms his cheek. “I love you. I lived all my life for duty and accepted being my family’s trump card. I didn’t allow myself to feel or live or breathe for anything but duty, but that changed when you came along. I hate you for making me feel, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

He clutches her by the waist and hauls her toward him. “I love you, too, Meelaya. You’re the only reason I manage to wake up every day.”

And then he kisses her, open-mouthed while releasing repulsive noises.

I resist the urge to roll my eyes or cringe for eternity as I snap a few pictures.

Only my brother is cheesy enough to pick the most sickeningly sweet term to call his woman. My darling.

Though it surprisingly fits someone like Kristina.

When they break apart, she smiles and wipes the lipstick off his mouth. “What are we going to do now? If Papa sees you…I don’t even want to think about it. And Kirill? What is he going to do to you?”

“Fuck that asshole.”

Hey. Is this all the thanks I get for my services?

“Let’s leave,” he lets out in a determined tone. “No one will approve of us when you stranded my almighty bastard of a brother at the altar. The blame will fall on you more than me, and I don’t want to see you suffer in this world.”

“But…Papa and Alexei will hunt us down.” She visibly shakes against him. “You don’t know my brother. He’s not as diplomatic as Papa and he’ll kill you on sight. I can’t…I can’t do that to you.”

“I’m willing to take the risk if it means being with you.”

“But…what about your goals and aspirations?”

“I don’t need those if I have to achieve them without you.”

I finally get enough of my cheesy fucking brother and stroll out from my hideout clapping my hands. “Bravo! Love the concept of forbidden love. The execution, however, could use better dialogue.”

Both of them stiffen and Konstantin actually hides Kristina behind him as if I’ll snatch her away or something.

Now, I’m fully aware that my brother isn’t as trigger happy as, say, Damien, but he still has his moments, and right now seems to be one of those as he tightens his hold around the gun that he never hid.

“Care to explain what you’re doing with my future wife, Konstantin?”

His upper lip lifts in a snarl. “She’s never going to be your wife. She’s fucking mine.”

I guard my nonchalant tone. “Is that so? Did you discuss this issue with Igor? Alexei? The Pakhan, for that matter? Because as I’m sure you know, this is highly frowned upon by the brotherhood. A bit taboo, too. Her neck is on the line, and, hey, so is yours.”

“Let her go,” he says almost pleadingly.

My brother has never begged me for anything since the day I enlisted. He hasn’t asked me for anything, either, and has only talked to me to act as Yulia’s obedient minion.

We haven’t been on good terms since the day Karina was traumatized for life, but when I decided to leave, he looked at me with these same imploring eyes.

The ones a younger brother would have for his older brother.

Back then, he said, “Please don’t leave us.”

Now, he says, “You’re powerful enough to break this marriage off.”

“That I am, but I’m afraid I can’t be the one who goes against the deal I had with Igor and the Pakhan. Otherwise, my interests will be in jeopardy.”

“Kirill.” He’s struggling to remain calm when I’m sure all he wants is to punch me. “Can you, for one day, one fucking day, just stop being so selfish and do something for me?”

“Why would I? You said I was no longer your brother the day I left for Russia, no? Am I suddenly back to being your brother now that you need me? Besides, I’m doing you a huge favor right now. Why do you think I got you riled up a few days ago?”

His eyes widen and recognition starts to show in his gaze.

So maybe I was being an asshole and told Konstantin that I look forward to having a wife that will serve me every night. I was thinking of a different wife, but he didn’t know that and he would have punched me if I hadn’t moved out of the way.

That’s how I confirmed my suspicions. That, and I saw them together during the engagement party. I couldn’t reveal anything back then, because I needed the wedding ceremony to happen.

Konstantin and Kristina look like ghosts, too caught up in their little romance to realize they’re not the ones holding all the cards in this game.

I already built them a nice tidy house of cards, and if they play right, I might choose not to destroy it.

“You…did that on purpose?” my brother asks.

“Maybe.”

“You knew?”

“Perhaps.”

“Then why?” Konstantin breathes heavily. “Why the fuck did you make a deal that includes marrying my woman?”

“Because she wasn’t your woman in public, and I had an opening to achieve greater purposes, so I took it.”

“You fucking—”

“Calm your fucking tits.” I stand toe to toe with him. “Igor, Alexei, and the Pakhan are on their way here. They might bring their guards or the entire wedding party, though I doubt it, because I sent Igor and Alexei this nice and tidy picture of you two kissing.”

I unlock my phone and show them evidence of their cringey make-out session.

Kristina trembles and pushes Konstantin away. “Go! Leave! They won’t kill me, but they will definitely kill you.”

“No,” my brother growls. “They might not kill you physically, but they’ll still sell you to the highest bidder. If it’s not Kirill, then it’ll be someone else.”

“Please go, Kosta.” She desperately pushes him while crying, but he’s not moving. “Please, I’m begging you.”

“I’m not leaving without you.” He clutches her waist and pulls her to his side.

“And lose everything you and Yulia have been building?” I ask in my patronizing tone.

“I don’t give a fuck.”

“I’m sure you do. Kristina is right. Her father and brother will hunt you down and kill you for sullying her honor. Besides, do you want her to live frightened for the rest of her life? And how about you? You’re an ambitious man with lots of plans for the future. Will you be able to handle being cast aside with no option but running?”

“We don’t have a choice since you refuse to help.”

“Who says I refuse?” I raise a brow. “In fact, I’m going to give you the chance of your life. All you have to do is agree with what I say.”

He narrows his eyes. “What are you planning now?”

“Something nice,” I whisper. “Here we go.”

As expected, only Igor, Alexei, and the Pakhan show up. Kristina partially hides behind Konstantin. The idiots have probably been seeing each other in secret for a long time, but only got their shit together and confessed their undying love when everything came tumbling down. But oh, well. It played in my favor.

“Kristina!” Igor snaps. “What is the meaning of this?”

She seals her lips shut then murmurs, “I… I love Konstantin. I always have.”

Alexei raises a hand, probably to strike her or yank her away, but my brother catches it and glares at him. “Don’t fucking touch her.”

Alexei is a large man but around the same height as my brother, yet he still looks down his nose at him. “Step away from my sister before I kill you.”

“Now, now.” I effortlessly disengage them by standing between them. “There’s no need for violence on a happy day.”

“You’ll marry Kirill this instant,” Igor tells his daughter, to which she shakes her head and sinks her nails into Konstantin’s jacket.

“I’m afraid I can’t marry another man’s woman, Igor. Especially if that man is my own brother.”

Igor’s face contorts. “We made a deal.”

“Yes, and you didn’t keep your part of it. I was promised your daughter, but I come here to find out that not only does she already have a man, but she’s also pregnant.”

Everyone falls silent, Konstantin and Kristina included.

Of course she’s not pregnant, but it doesn’t hurt to add more salt to Igor’s wound. Besides, this plays an important role in the next part of my plan.

“You fucking bastard!” Alexei lunges at my brother again, and this time, I move out of the way so he can punch him.

He needed to get that one in to somehow lessen his anger. Kristina shrieks as blood explodes out of Konstantin’s nose.

When Alexei lifts his fist again, I’m the one who blocks it and glares at him. “I let you punch him the first time out of courtesy, but if you hit my brother again, I’ll break your legs.”

I catch Konstantin’s lips parting in my peripheral vision, and he looks like an absolute idiot.

So yes, I might have issues with him, but no one fucks with my brother.

“Alexei.” Igor shakes his head at his son and he retreats back a step.

I look at the Pakhan, whose reign ends today. He’s been watching the show with disapproving silence. Sergei isn’t a fool and is probably working out exactly where this is going.

“Since Igor’s side is the one that pulled out of the deal, as evidenced by Kristina abandoning me at the altar and the fact that she’s carrying another man’s child, I demand that my inauguration goes through.”

“What the—” Alexei starts, but Igor shakes his head again.

“He’s right. We’re in the wrong on this, and there’s nothing we can do about it.”

“That is correct, but I’m a fair man, Igor. I won’t throw you under the bus or announce your dishonor as per the contract we wrote. I would still like to offer you a partnership.” I clutch Konstantin by the shoulder. “Kristina will marry into my family and we’ll have the alliance we agreed upon.”

Konstantin still has his mouth agape like a fucking clown, and I glare at him so he’ll get his shit together. He clears his throat. “I will protect her with my life.”

Igor remains silent, but then he releases a breath and nods at me. “Thank you.”

“Pakhan?” I lift an eyebrow.

“You’re one fucking manipulative bastard and you remind me so much of my brother, it’s disturbing.” Sergei exhales a long sigh. “But apparently, people like that make the best leaders, so you have your approval, Kirill. Let’s see if you can keep the peace or you fuck it all up.”

I smirk. “I guess time will tell.”

“We’re going home.” Alexei seizes Kristina‘s arm, but she doesn’t let Konstantin go, her eyes wild and scared.

“Our home is her home now,” I say. “Since everyone is here for a wedding, let’s give them a wedding.”

Konstantin actually hugs me. The cheesy fucking asshole, I swear. I pat his back. Only for show. Nothing else.

Absolutely nothing.

I don’t even remember the last time I hugged this little shit. Probably when we were kids. He still gives clingy hugs.

He hugs like a girl. Just saying.

Once this whole thing is over, I’ll be Pakhan and I’ll go to celebrate with my woman.

No, my wife.


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