“Bastard!” I screamed up at him as that thought ricocheted through my brain. “Fight it!”
Callan blinked hard a few times. Then he tightened his grip on my throat once more. I kept the knife against the side of his neck while he cut off my air again, but I made no move to ram it through.
Consciousness flickered in his eyes again and he shook his head violently. The fingers around my throat let up once more. I sucked in a strangled breath.
That cold emptiness withdrew even more.
Tilting his head down, he squeezed his eyes shut and forced out a long breath before drawing in another one. And when he opened them again, that warm steady consciousness that was Callan flooded his eyes.
A relieved gasp tore from my lips.
Callan blinked a couple of times before his gaze darted down to me, his hands around my throat, and then up to the knife I held against the side of his neck.
Horror washed over his features.
Scrambling off my chest, he shot to his feet and backed away until his shoulder blades hit the opposite wall.
With his weight no longer pressing down on me, and his hands no longer wrapped around my neck, I drew in a few deep breaths to refill my lungs while I let my hand drop back down to the ground. The blade clattered as it slipped from my fingers to land on the dark stone instead. I sucked in more breaths.
“I’m sorry,” Callan rasped into the ringing silence. “Audrey… I…”
Tilting my head to the side, I rested my cheek against the cold stone ground as I looked over at him. He was standing by the wall on the other side, as far away from me as he could get, while he stared between his hands and my body. The guilt and regret in his eyes were so intense that I actually flinched when he met my gaze.
He must have misinterpreted that as fear because panic and hurt flashed across his features, and he raised his hands while repeating, “I’m sorry.”
While drawing in one more deep breath, I pushed myself into a sitting position and then rose to my feet. As I turned to face him, I let an easy smile drift over my lips. “It’s alright. You’ve been failing to kill me for five years now, so I wasn’t even worried.”
He didn’t laugh. Instead, his gaze dipped down to my throat.
I resisted the urge to run a hand over the tender skin as I started towards him. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay?” He stared at me as if I had grown an extra set of heads. “Based on those red handprints around your neck, I came very close to strangling you to death. And you’re asking if I’m okay?”
“Well, in the interest of full disclosure, I was holding a knife pressed against your carotid artery too, so I was never in any real risk of dying.”
He stared at me. “How are you so… unbothered by this?”
“What do you mean?”
“I tried to kill you!”
“Yeah, but it’s not exactly the first time you’ve tried that, is it?” I shrugged as I came to a halt in front of him. “And you’ve yet to succeed.”
His eyes were full of hesitation as he searched my face. “You’re not… afraid of me?”
I hated seeing him like that. Hated the hesitation. The pain and the guilt and the regret. It wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t who either of us were. We carved a bloody path through this world without being burdened by something as ridiculous as guilt and regret. And I couldn’t stand the thought of him feeling that way. Especially over something that he had no control over.
“Afraid of you?” I baited, and let out a light laugh. “Of course not.” While a wicked smirk spread across my lips, I gave him a quick rise and fall of my eyebrows. “If anything, you’re the one who should be afraid of me. After all, the only reason that you’re still alive is because I decided not to slit that pretty little neck of yours.”
That time, he did laugh. It was a strangled sound, but it was full of relief.
Raising his hand, he tentatively moved it closer to me. When I didn’t draw back, he gently traced his fingers over the red marks I knew were present on my throat.
The memory of those cold empty eyes suddenly flashed through my mind, and an involuntary shudder coursed through my body.
Callan snatched his hand back while another wave of regret washed over his features. But before he could pull back completely, I grabbed his wrist. While keeping my eyes locked on his, I moved his hand back and placed it over my throat.
“I like the feeling of your hand around my throat,” I told him in a slow and clear voice to make sure that he understood that I truly meant what I was about to say. “And the feeling of your body pinning me to the ground. But those empty eyes and that face tinted with insanity are not what I want to remember when you do something like that. So I want you, I need you, to wipe those memories from my head. Right now. Before they can settle.”
Confusion swirled in his eyes. “I don’t understand.”
“Fuck me. Fuck me hard and without hesitation. Tease me with a knife. Trace your fingers over my body. Wrap your hand around my throat. Make me remember your touch again. Not that inhuman thing that locked you out of your own body.”
His gaze darted down to my throat again. “Are you sure you still want me to…”
When he trailed off, I closed the final distance between us and took a firm grip on the collar of his shirt. Rising up onto my toes, I brushed my lips over his in an almost kiss.
“Until this mission is done, I’m safe in your hands,” I breathed against his lips, echoing the words he had told me back in Eldar all those weeks ago. “Remember?”
Another moment of hesitation passed.
Then he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me closer. “Yes, you are.”
His lips met mine.
I reached up and threaded my fingers through his hair while he spun us around and pushed me up against the wall. Raising one leg, I wrapped it around his hip and drew his body firmly against mine while I claimed his mouth. A deep groan came from his chest as I ran my fingers through his hair several times before letting them drop down to his neck. He drew his hands down my sides and grabbed the hem of my shirt.
While his tongue explored my mouth, he pushed the smooth fabric up my stomach. Lightning crackled through my veins as his fingers brushed against my naked skin. I arched my back as he slid the shirt up my ribs. Callan answered by caressing my tits, drawing a moan from my lips. This was his touch. The touch I wanted to remember when I looked into his eyes.
Reluctantly releasing my grip on the back of his neck, I raised my arms as he pulled the shirt over my head and let it flutter to the floor. The rock wall was cold against my back as Callan stepped closer, pressing me up against it, while he drew his hands down my body again. I started unbuttoning my pants while Callan kissed his way along my jaw. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips over the crook of my neck while his hands found the fastenings on my brassiere.
My nipples hardened as the fabric fell away and joined my shirt on the floor.
I slid my hands inside my panties and pushed both them and my pants down my legs while toeing off my boots. Callan traced his fingers down the small of my back. The warmth of his hands was a stark contrast to the cold of the stone behind me. I let out another dark moan as he let his mouth roam over my throat before kissing that spot below my ear that I loved. A pleasant shudder rolled over my body.
The pants at last dropped the final bit down my legs and I kicked my boots aside before stepping out of all of my remaining clothes.
Callan’s hands dipped down to caress the curve of my ass.
Tilting my head back, I rested it against the cool stone wall and blew out a long breath. “Grab the knife.”
He traced his lips along my jaw and stole another kiss from my mouth before stepping back. My chest already heaved. While leaning back against the wall, I watched as he moved over to where he had dropped his blade earlier. As he walked, he yanked his shirt over his head and let it flutter to the ground.
My heart skipped a beat as I took in the lethal muscles now on full display. Biting my lip, I raked my gaze over his toned back and shoulders while he picked up the knife from the ground. This was what I wanted to remember. Him. The real him.
When he straightened and turned around to face me again, it almost looked like his breath hitched. Desire flared up in his eyes as his gaze shot straight to my mouth. I let my lower lip slip back out from between my teeth while Callan prowled back to me.
As he walked, he twirled the knife in his hand.
Heat pooled at my core at the mere sight of him doing that.
Stopping before me, he drew his left hand over my cheek and then through my hair while leaning down to kiss me. I grabbed his wrist and moved his hand down to my throat. His eyes searched my face for a few seconds. But when I only kept his hand there, he flexed his fingers slightly and then positioned them over my throat.
But he didn’t squeeze it the way he usually did. He just kept his hand there, like a steady weight to overwrite the memory of his inhuman grip from earlier.
“You’re gonna have to stay very still now, sweetheart.” He planted a few light kisses along my jaw. “Can you do that?”
“Yes,” I breathed.
Drawing back a little, he locked eyes with me while keeping that steady hand against my throat. Then he positioned the tip of the blade between my collarbones. I sucked in a small gasp at the cold touch of steel.
Dark desire flickered through my body as he slowly drew the knife down the center of my chest. Resting the back of my head against the wall, I tried to keep my breathing even as the tip brushed my skin.
My pussy throbbed as he drew the knife down until it was positioned over my heart.
By all hell. Putting my life in his hands like this was so fucking intoxicating.
He moved the blade sideways. My heart pattered against my ribs as he traced the knife around my breast. Then he paused.
Leaning forward, he placed his lips next to my ear. “What did I say?”
“Don’t move,” I pressed out while trying to control my breathing.
He let out a satisfied, “Hmm.”
It made his warm breath dance over my skin. I forced out another steadying exhale while he drew back again.
The knife started up its movements once more.
Clenching and unclenching my hands, I stared up at the glowing crystals in the ceiling while Callan drew the blade in torturously slow circles, inching closer to my nipple with every stroke. Another moan spilled from my lips as it moved farther in, and I had to fight hard to keep a pleasant shudder from racking my body.
He teased around it a few more times before giving it an abrupt prick.
I sucked in a gasp, but manage to stop myself from moving.
A dark chuckle rolled from Callan’s throat. “Good girl.”
My pussy was throbbing with pleasure, and hearing those two words from his lips almost made me come right then. I pressed out another labored breath.
While keeping his hand against my throat, Callan stroked his thumb over the side of my neck. The knife trailed down from my tit and over my ribs. It scraped lightly against my skin as he drew it over my hip and then across my thigh.
I blinked in surprise and snapped my gaze back to Callan’s face when the blade suddenly disappeared. There was a sly smile on his lips as he met my gaze.
A moment later, he placed his boot against the inside of my foot and pushed my leg sideways, widening my stance. With that smirk still on his mouth, he shifted his grip on the knife and then brought it up to place the flat of it against my pussy.
My heart slammed twice as hard in my chest.
I sucked in ragged breaths as my whole body crackled with desperate need.
Callan slowly pushed the flat of the blade harder against my skin, forcing me up on my toes. When he had gotten me where he wanted, he paused, keeping me like that while he studied every inch of my face. I drank in the sight of those warm brown eyes that were now filled with Callan’s entire soul. The memories of his blank stare from earlier were fading with every second.
While keeping the knife steady, he leaned forward and brushed his lips along my jaw before kissing the corner of my mouth. My eyes fluttered.
“Tell me what you want,” he breathed against my skin.
You, I almost said. Again. But this time I thankfully managed to stop myself in time.
“I want you to fuck me,” I gasped out instead. “Fuck me hard. Take me. Claim me. Make me moan as you come inside me.”
He stole one more kiss from my lips before his dark voice commanded, “Then get on your knees.”
A thrill raced up my spine.
Stepping back, he removed the blade from between my legs and let it dangle from his fingers. While raking his gaze up and down my body, he twitched two fingers at me, ordering me to step away from the wall. I followed him as he backed up a bit.
When we were standing in the middle of the narrow tunnel, he stopped and tossed the knife down on top of his already discarded shirt. I bit my lip as he unbuttoned his pants. His eyes darkened.
“Kneel,” he ordered.
My whole body thrummed with pent-up desire as I lowered myself to my knees while Callan maneuvered out of the rest of his clothes. When he straightened again after throwing his garments to the side, his cock was already hard. I shot him a sly smile.
His mouth curled into a wicked smirk in reply. But instead of moving towards me, he walked around me. I twisted my head so that I could track his movements as he prowled past me.
“Eyes front,” he commanded.
After flashing him a sharp grin, I tore my gaze from his muscled body and returned it to the dark stone wall ahead. His fingers brushed against the back of my neck, making a shudder of pleasure course through me.
“Bend over.”
My heart pounded in my chest as I placed my palms on the ground so that I was on my hands and knees, with my back straight. Callan traced his fingers over my ass before drawing them up my spine. Then he planted his palm between my shoulder blades and pushed my face down to the ground while my ass remained up in the air.
Twisting my head to the side, I rested my cheek against the cold stone while Callan drew his hands back down my sides.
After spreading my legs wider, he took a firm grip on my hips and shifted my body so that my ass and pussy were completely exposed to him from behind. His cock brushed against my entrance. I arched my back, pushing myself harder against him.
He answered by leaning down over me and grabbing my wrists. Twisting my arms up behind me, he positioned them so that the back of my hands rested against the small of my back. Then he withdrew.
A few seconds later, he slid one large hand down my forearm and wrapped it around my crossed wrists, keeping them trapped like that.
Without the support of my hands, I had to brace myself against the ground using my cheek and the top half of my chest. I sucked in a ragged breath. It felt as though my body was fracturing with the need for him.
“Callan,” I ground out. “F—”
He shoved his cock into me.
A gasp ripped from my throat at the feeling of his thick length filling me. But the gasp turned into a deep groan of pleasure as he reached around me and pressed two fingers against my pussy. Vibrating force magic pulsed into my clit.
While keeping my hands locked behind my back, he drew out a little before pushing his cock into me again. The fingers of his other hand traced around my clit.
I let out a moan.
Callan pulled out and then shoved into me again. Deeper this time. I tried to shift my hands so that I could brace myself against his thrusts, but he only tightened his grip on my wrists.
While increasing the strength of the vibrations, he started up a steady rhythm with his cock. I forced out a shuddering breath as pleasure built inside me.
Callan rolled my clit between his fingers, drawing another gasp from my lips. Arching my back further, I moved into a position that would let him reach even deeper. He rewarded me by upping the vibrations again. I pressed my cheek against the cold stone as that terrible need inside me grew even more intense.
After shifting his hips to match my new position, Callan shoved inside me once more.
A groan tore from my throat and I curled my fingers while yanking against his grip on my wrists. He kept them firmly trapped while drawing out and then slamming inside me again. And again.
With every thrust, he shoved harder. Deeper. Until he was pounding into me with brutal strength. My body rocked forward with every thrust of his hips, making the cool stone scrape against my collarbones.
At the same time, he shifted his fingers against my clit.
I sucked in a gasp as the pulsing magic hit the perfect spot while he buried his cock deep inside me again. Lifting my head slightly, I braced my forehead against the ground instead. Callan tightened his hand around my wrists and used that to help me hold my chest off the ground.
Lightning shot across my skin and danced through my soul. It felt as though my body was coming apart at the seams. My pussy throbbed, begging for that sweet release. I pushed out strained breaths while pressing my forehead hard against the ground.
Pleasure built inside me until it became an explosion just waiting to happen.
I shifted my hips ever so slightly.
Callan pounded into me again.
A gasp ripped from my lips as release crackled through my limbs. My legs trembled and I had to fight to keep my ass in the air while Callan continued slamming into me.
White lights flickered in my vision while my pussy clamped down hard around his cock. He kept sending pulses of magic against my already throbbing clit, making me moan incoherently while it felt as though my body would melt from pleasure.
“Callan.”
His name rolled off my tongue like a plea.
He came.
A groan tore from deep within his chest, and he gripped my wrists tightly as release washed through him as well.
My heart slammed hard against my ribs. Pressing my forehead against the cold ground, I tried to keep myself from collapsing as pleasure swept through my body. If it hadn’t been for his hand around my wrists, I don’t think I would have made it.
So when he pulled out and released my wrists, my body just slumped down on the ground.
Sucking in deep breaths, I rolled over on my back and stared up at the glowing white crystals above. From down here, they looked like glittering stars in a dark night sky. Or maybe it was just my euphoric mind painting the world in brighter light.
A thud sounded as Callan dropped down next to me. Reaching out, he wrapped his arm around my chest and pulled me closer to him where he lay on his side. Once my body was pressed against his, he stopped. But he kept his arm draped over my chest.
I lifted my hand and rested it on his forearm. My chest rose and fell underneath it.
For a while, we just lay there.
The stone floor below us was cold against my naked skin. But in that moment, I couldn’t bring myself to care. My cheeks were flushed and my skin was already heated. And Callan’s body was warm against mine.
“Have the bad memories been replaced with better ones?” Callan asked into the silence that had descended over the tunnel.
For a few seconds, I just continued drawing in deep breaths. Then I tilted my head to the side so that I met his gaze.
His dark brown eyes glittered in the light from the crystals. I wasn’t sure if it was because the light played tricks on me, but I swore I could see a hint of hope in his eyes. Well-guarded hope. But hope nonetheless.
A small smile spread across my lips as I gave his arm a gentle squeeze.
“Yes, they have.”
