I am a morning person. Even though I have worked most of my life until the wee hours, I like the calmness of morning.
We are driving up to the hospital on a beautiful day, the California sun is shining brightly. The gloom still hangs thickly over Livi’s head. She may not know it now, but I know how important this will be for our future.
As we park at the far end of the lot, facing it, she is looking down, playing with her hands.
“Livi, look up and out the window.” She does and nods as she chews on her finger nail. “The sun is shining. The sky hasn’t fallen. The world is still okay. You showed your strength by coming here. I am proud of you.”
She shrugs and then forces a smile. “Thank you.”
“For what?”
“Being here, caring enough about me to—”
“Yeah, well, you make it impossible not to.” I lace my fingers though hers and kiss her knuckles.
“So, did you think you’d be meeting my father this soon?” she tries to joke.
“Nope.” I smirk.
“Tell me something awkward about you. Maybe this will feel less … well, awkward.”
“My parents never married.”
“Mine, either.”
“I have my mom’s last name, and I pray her heart.”
She looks at me and smiles. “If hers is good, you got yours from her.”
I nod. “Hers was something, that’s for sure.”
“You don’t like your parents?”
“I don’t like my pops.” I open the door to avoid the awkwardness of the dead mom talk while her dad is fighting for his life.
I open her door. “Let’s go face this, shall we?”
She holds my hand tight and practically melts into me as we walk toward the hospital entrance. We look at the sign and take the elevator to the seventh floor ICU where we walk up to the desk, and she asks for her father’s room. The nurse instructs that it is immediate family only. She tells the nurse she’s his daughter, and then she nods before looking at me. She’s checking out the ink peeking out from my sleeves, and I don’t give a shit.
“Her husband,” I say before she asks who I am.
As we are buzzed through, Livi looks up at me.
I give her a wink. “Wouldn’t want you to have to do this alone.”
We stop at another nurse’s station, and Livi finds her voice. She asks about her father, and the nurse tells her the same thing the step-bitch told me.
When we finally walk into his room, he’s asleep. I pull out a chair and motion for her to sit while I stand behind her.
I went to the hospital to pick Livi up for lunch the other day, and that was the first time I have been in one since Mom passed away. It was different. I wasn’t in a room watching someone fighting for their life, and I wasn’t faced with the damn universal beeping sounds those fucking machines put out. This time, I can’t escape all of that.
The sterile smell assaults my nose. The white walls gouge my vision. The hustle and bustle of the nurses waiting for the next call put me on edge. Today is different.
If I didn’t care about Livi, I wouldn’t be here. I want to be strong for her. I will be strong for her. I am strong for her.
Her dad’s eyes flutter open, and I notice the left side of his face is somewhat drooping. He smiles, but only the right side of his lips turn up. Finally, tears start flowing, and this is when both sides of him seem to work.
“Hi, Dad,” Livi says in a little girl voice.
“Ol—li—v—” He closes his eyes and shakes his head a bit.
“It’s okay.” She stands to hold his hand.
I take note that she has not rubbed her ass once, and I am so fucking glad.
“Bryce,” he slurs and Livi’s body visibly stiffens. “I. Should. Have. Stopped—”
“You knew?” she asks in a squeaky voice.
“He. Counseling.” He nods.
“He told a counselor?”
“Family cou—” He gets frustrated because he can’t speak. “I’m. Sorry.”
She nods as she swipes her hand under her nose.
“He’s sor—” he tries to say.
My blood starts boiling. How could her dad know and not have stepped in?
“When?” Livi’s voice is stronger now.
“Two years.” He closes his eyes.
“You’ve known for two years and never—” She stops when I put my hand on her shoulder.
“You?” he questions me.
“I’m Olivia’s man.” I wasn’t gonna say boyfriend, but I wanted him to know what a man is. I am trying to calm her while fighting like a motherfucker to tell him he isn’t a man. A man steps in to protect his woman and his kids.
“Hendrix Caldwell, this is my father, Darren Hemmingway.”
I nod, and he tries to as well.
“You have an amazing girl here. Strong, smart, and a worker.”
“Job?” he croaks out.
“He owns a bar,” she answers. “In Detroit.”
“That’s how we met,” I tell him. “Livi applied for a position when she was walking in the freezing cold, ‘cause her car broke down. Like I said, she’s a worker. Doesn’t expect something for nothing and wouldn’t take a hand out if offered.”
“Good. Girl.”
“She certainly is.” I wrap my arm around her and pull her against my side.
There is silence for a while, and I force myself to step away, but she grabs my hand and rubs it.
“Sorry,” he slurs again.
“I accept your apology,” she says in a much different tone. Livi sounds strong for the first time since receiving the phone call about him.
“Bryce. Sorry.”
“Dad, please don’t push.”
“So. Sorry. Failed. You.”
She nods. “You need to rest. I’m going to talk to your doctor, give them my number, and then be back in a few hours.”
With that, we walk out in the hall where she turns and wraps her arms around me. No words need to be exchanged; she simply needs to be held. So I fucking hold her, and hold her tight.
Eventually, something jars her, and she pulls away.
“Olivia?” I look up to see a woman walking toward us. Not just a woman, though; an older woman and a younger man.
Livi turns, still holding my hand, and freezes.
“I’m glad you could make it.”
Livi doesn’t say anything, not one thing, and I have no clue what to say. However, when I see the way the man looks at her, I am ready to blow.
“You wanna get out of here?” I am growling.
She shakes her head.
“Hello,” she croaks out.
“Olivia, you look—” He pauses then looks at me. “Can I have ten minutes?”
“No,” I respond, pulling her closer to me.
“Bryce, you don’t have to—”
“Enough, Mom. Enough,” Bryce snaps at the stepmother then looks back at Livi. “I don’t deserve this, but I want ten minutes of your time.” He looks at me. “I won’t hurt her.”
“You’re damn right you won’t,” I hiss at him.
He takes in a deep breath and looks at Livi. “I need to talk to you.”
“Were you in Detroit?” she asks.
He looks confused.
“Were you in Detroit?” she snaps.
He shakes his head no.
“Bryce, let’s go.” Victoria tries to pull him away.
“You go,” he snaps at her. “Now.” He looks back at Livi. “Five minutes.” He walks toward a small room.
“You do not have to do this. You do not—” I am practically begging her. I promised no one would hurt her.
“Yes, I do,” she says, wiggling out of my grip. “You can come.”
“I might kill him.”
“Hendrix, please.”
I follow her into the room where Bryce is pacing. He stops when we walk in, closes his eyes, and then takes a deep breath.
“I’m gonna talk fast, because you agreeing to come in here is a gift, and I know that. I had a stepfather, Victoria’s second husband. He wasn’t kind. He always told me Daddy doesn’t want a broken boy.” He pauses, slamming his eyes shut. “When I told her, she didn’t listen. I lost something I can never get back. I was ten when it started. She thought I was lying and still won’t face it. Your father believes me, though. He confronted the man.
“When I met you, I was angry, but you made me smile. You were so good, Olivia. I wanted that. I don’t know if I was trying to steal your light or crush it. You were a breath of fresh air. Sweet and kind, always. When my mother began saying mean things, I didn’t want you to be broken. I didn’t want you to feel broken. Hell, I thought I was trying to save you. I don’t deserve for you to accept it, but I have to give my apology.”
He waits for her to say something, but she doesn’t.
“I’m married. I have a two-year-old little girl. I would kill someone if they touched her. I won’t use the old excuse that I was young, hormonal, or you were just too beautiful, but all that topped with being abused myself…” He shrugs. “I’m sorry, Olivia. I am so sorry.”
She nods and swallows hard. “Take care of her.”
“I would die for her.”
“I accept—”
“Livi, no means fucking no.” I can’t contain my rage.
“Hendrix—”
“If you so much as look at her cross-eyed, I will feed you your balls,” I threaten.
“I’ve changed. I am regretful. I am so sorry.”
“People can change,” she says and shrugs. She looks up at me. “People can change.”
I nod once, and then Bryce lets out a long, slow breath.
“I’m going in to see your dad. Mother will have him in knots again.” He pauses at the door. “Olivia, he left her a couple years ago. Not that he is your responsibility, but he really has no one.”
“They’re divorced?”
He nods. “He sees her for who she is now. So do I, but I can’t divorce her, you know.”
Why is she letting this fucker talk to her?
“Is his paperwork—?”
“I have no idea. I know he asked for you, and I know she came because the hospital called her. He doesn’t want her here, though.” He swallows hard. “Some people can’t change, but I swear on Gabby’s life, on my life, I have.”
“Your daughter’s name is Gabby?”
He nods and smiles sadly.
I see regret in his eye, I see acceptance in hers, and I still want to snap his neck like a chicken bone.
After that encounter, I watch Livi with her father’s doctors, filling out paperwork. I hear talk of living wills, DNR’s, possible rehab centers, adult home care nurses, and my head begins spinning. I see strength in her, and I see intelligence. I see the sexiest woman wrapped in one package, and all I want is to watch her for days. I want to keep her safe, warm, fed, and under me.
Once we are back in her father’s room, she explains to him everything going on. He looks at her like I am—in fucking awe—but there is also sadness in his eyes, one I can imagine is based on regret. I never want that look mirrored in my eyes, not with her, not with our children.
I feel like the wind is knocked out of me. I feel like I just woke up from hell and have seen an angel. I am in a fucking hospital, a place I despise, and I am struck with this feeling.
“Are you ready?”
“Sure thing,” I say, avoiding eye contact. I don’t want her to see me weak like this, and this is a fucking weakness that I will conquer in a way a man should.
“Hendrix,” her father croaks. “Minute alone?”
Livi looks at me and I nod. “I’ll be out in a minute, babe.”
When she leaves, I walk up to his bedside.
“Thank you.”
“No, man, no thanks needed. She’s fucking amazing.”
He closes his eyes. “You love her?”
“She’ll be the first to hear those words from me, not you.” I kind of smirk, ‘cause I know it’s a douchie thing to say to a sick man.
“Show her.”
“Every day. Look, we’ll be back later. I’m sure she’s tired.”
He nods and closes his eyes. “I love her. Her mom, better than me.”
After that short talk, I join Livi in the hall, and we walk out of the hospital where the sun is still shining. She looks tired, yet so fucking beautiful. I reach behind her and rub her ass.
“What do they say today?”
She smiles and shrugs. “‘Stronger than most.’”
“You sure are. Fuck.” I can’t take it. I stop beside the car, turn her around, and lift her chin. “Liv, I am a simple man. I work hard, play harder, and never in my life did I expect to be knocking boots in a closet with a sexy, little chick and a month later be ready to say this, but I am. You deserve to have a man by your side who thinks the world tipped when he realized you are not just in his world, but you are the best part of it. You, Olivia Hemmingway, are the best part of my life, and I am so fucking in love with you. I. Love. You.”
She doesn’t say shit, making me feel so fucking raw.
“Say something, Livi.” I am begging now.
“I got my period today.” Her frown deepens. “So you don’t have to—”
“Don’t have to? Like it’s a fucking choice. Livi, this is not about that and never has been.”
“Never?” She looks at me like I’m crazy.
“No. I will tell you that I am glad you have it. I mean, not right now, ‘cause I want to be buried deep inside you, but I need time to convince you it’s okay to love me. Fuck, I’ll force it if I have to. I am—”
