I stop at The Lodge for two to-go coffees and arrive at the training center with five minutes to spare. From what I’ve witnessed, Noah doesn’t drink it often, but considering how late we stayed up scrapbooking, I figure she’ll need it this morning.
Even though she said she couldn’t stay too late, we finished eight pages in her fundraising scrapbook. Her parents and Gramma had long gone to bed by the time I left. As much as I hate only being her friend, it was nice to sit together and just talk. She shared the designated album her mom and Gramma started after she was born. It’s filled with pictures from when she was a baby, to her early school days, and years of riding. The various competitions she participated in throughout middle and high school filled at least a dozen pages. Then she brought out just one of many boxes filled with ribbons and trophies. It’s no wonder horses feel comfortable and safe with her. Not only is she mostly self-taught, but she’s a prodigy at her age and level of expertise.
It was nice to finish the evening on a high note after the way dinner ended. I could tell she was surprised to see Jase and me, but he needed a chance to apologize to her and smooth things over with her brothers. Jase and I may have shit to work through, but they have too much history not to make things right.
“Mornin’,” I greet her inside the training center and hand her one of the coffees. “Thought you’d need a pick-me-up.”
She looks adorable in her riding boots and helmet. She has her hair in a long braid with a few strands around her face, and I wish I could lean in and tuck them behind her ear.
She takes a sip, then grins. “Thanks. Didn’t get much sleep, but it was worth it. I’m glad ya stayed last night.”
“Me too. The most fun I’ve had in a while.”
“I can’t wait to work on it some more. Maybe next Sunday?” she asks, and I notice the flicker of hope in her eyes. It’s a bad idea because the more I spend time with her, the harder it is to stay firm on my decision.
But I can’t say no to her.
“Yeah, I’d love that.”
Hanging out with someone I can’t be with is a special kind of torture I’ve never experienced before. It sucks, but I also can’t stay away. Seems she doesn’t want to either.
“Well, ya ready to see what Donut can do?” She takes a gulp of her coffee, then sets it down out of her way.
“Yep, tell me where ya need me.”
“Mostly just stay behind me so if I fall, you can grab me before I twist an ankle. Donut’s pretty good at stayin’ still, but he spooks easily. No matter how much I’ve worked on it with him, loud noises make him skittish. Probably thanks to my dumbass brother who used to ride his dirt bike ’round here.”
“Don’t ya think for somethin’ like this, you should work on a horse who isn’t?”
She strokes a soothing palm over his neck. “We have a close bond, and he trusts me. As long as there aren’t any sudden loud noises, he’ll be fine.”
I bite my tongue, concerned she’ll end up getting hurt if God forbid a car backfires nearby, but I support her nonetheless.
“Alright, I’m ready when you are.” I place my coffee next to hers so I have both hands free.
“First, I’m gonna warm up and do some simple moves to jog my memory.”
I don’t know much about the technical terms of trick riding, but I’ve seen them plenty of times at rodeos. There are usually a few of them, and they perform for the audience to get them amped up. They perform in sparkly outfits and deck out the horses in glitter and matching colors. Some even do Roman riding where they stand on a pair of horses with one foot on each and then jump over poles of fire. The horses run nearly full speed while the riders hang off one side or stand on top, and honestly, it’s quite dangerous. It’s basically doing gymnastics on horseback.
“I’ve never sat in that kind of saddle before,” I tell her when she swings her left leg up and around in a different way than normal. The pommel is long and straight and there are special handles on the back for various tricks. Donut also wears a collar around his neck and extra straps to secure the saddle in place with all the different movements.
“Found it last year when I decided to try this but didn’t get too far before I stopped. Delilah’s quite experienced already, so I’m just practicin’ to be more familiar with how the moves feel, not just what they look like.”
She lies across the saddle with her arms glued to her side and legs straight out, and I stand a couple of feet away so I don’t get in her way, but still close enough if needed.
“What’s this move?” I ask.
She turns her head and grins. “It’s just a plank. Keepin’ my weight distributed on both sides so he can feel the balance.”
“If Delilah’s already skilled at this, what does she need a trainer for?”
She sits up and walks Donut as she locks her knees and straightens her back. Then she lifts her right leg over until both are on the same side. I feel like the paparazzi watching her every move and waiting to get the best shot.
“Delilah learned under one of the best trick riders ’round here, Molly Mecca. Throughout high school, she competed and won quite a few awards. But then a few years ago, she got badly hurt and took time off to heal. After that, Molly retired, and Delilah went to Craig to help her get back to where she was. She had the skills and knowledge but lacked the confidence after being down so long.”
“And now she’s fired Craig and wants you?” I ask, keeping my eyes on her as she switches positions. She’s not doing anything overly risky since she’s warming Donut up, but I’m still on edge. I don’t know what I was thinking of volunteering to do this because I’m going to stroke out before the end of her training. Every time she moves from the left to the right or spins around, I instinctively hold out my hand to catch her.
“As you can imagine, Craig was being Craig. Instead of pointin’ out what she needed to work on, he just screamed at her. He’d be a good trainer if he had patience and gave guidance. But instead, he uses scare tactics and threats to get his clients to perform. That doesn’t work on most people, and especially not on horses. Delilah needs someone who can tell her what she needs to improve on, help her master those things, and then she’ll find that confidence again to get back to where she was. So even if I’m not a professional trick rider, I know enough to see where the disconnect is.”
Noah slides onto Donut’s butt as she hangs onto the handles at the back of the saddle, and my heart rate increases. One buck and she’d be on her ass.
But Donut keeps his posture as she continues riding and making him comfortable as she maneuvers.
“He seems to be okay with what you’re doin’,” I say.
“Yeah, I think he remembers last summer. I was worried he wouldn’t.”
“That doesn’t mean you should go thirty miles an hour anytime soon,” I warn, not mentally or physically ready for that.
“You worried ’bout me, Mr. Underwood?” She smirks as she pushes her feet up on the saddle and kneels as if she’s going to stand. Luckily, though, she doesn’t and puts her legs back down.
“Worried I might pass out if you don’t go slow.”
“You used to be a bull rider, and you’re worried about me doin’ a few baby tricks? I find that fascinatin’.”
“That’s for eight seconds. Granted, they’re the longest eight seconds when you’re on top of a two-thousand-pound animal, but I had years of trainin’.”
“And I’m willin’ to bet ya got hurt quite a bit.”
“Yes, I did.” I chuckle. “You learn quick how to tuck ’n’ roll.”
She laughs, moving her feet back up and down as if she’s testing Donut’s reaction to the quick movements.
“Sorry ahead of time for the name but wait until I try the suicide drag. I didn’t get to try it last year and now that I’ve been watchin’ more videos, I wanna see if I can do it.”
I nearly swallow my tongue because I can only imagine how risky that move is. “I’d rather ya didn’t.”
“And why not?”
“Does the name not give it away?”
“It’s actually a very common move, but yes, it can be tough at first. I didn’t say I was gonna do it today, just that I wanna eventually.”
“And what is it exactly?”
“Basically, it’s when you hang upside down on the side of the horse as he’s gallopin’. One foot goes through the saddle hole as the other hangs over your head, and you drag your hands along the dirt.”
I blink a few times, trying to wrap my head around the words she just said, and start to remember seeing the riders perform that move. Their hair flies around as their arms hang over their heads, and they basically bobble across the ground. They have no control of the horse in that position, and they have to continue running without being guided. One wrong move of the horse and their neck could snap.
“Absolutely not, Noah. I don’t doubt your talent, but that’s too risky.”
She rolls her eyes as if my concern lacks merit. “That’s why you’re here, remember?” She bats her eyelashes as if that’ll win me over with this ludicrous idea.
Before I can respond, she jumps up on her feet and stands. Her foot slips momentarily, and I nearly jump a foot toward her but then stop myself. Donut isn’t going fast, so I’m able to keep up, but knowing her, she’s going to speed up at some point.
“I’m fine, just probably not wearin’ the right shoes for this.”
I brush a hand through my hair, already feeling my forehead line with sweat and nerves. “You should be in bubble wrap.”
“Thank goodness you weren’t here for the Barn Roof Trampoline tournaments. You woulda passed out.” She keeps her gaze on Donut as she balances her feet firmly on the saddle, but it still makes me uneasy.
Every moment of Lyla rock climbing comes back to the surface. I was overly confident in what I knew she could do, but the moment I let my guard down, I failed her. I should’ve been closer, not let her go so high, and fuck me, I should’ve caught her.
“I probably woulda. The name alone sounds dangerous and stupid as hell.”
“Wilder, being the obnoxious dumbass he is, did a cannonball and forgot to push his legs out after the first bounce. Instead of landin’ on his feet, he flew right into a tree. Got himself a concussion, lots of bruisin’, and a broken rib.”
“Jesus Christ. I seriously don’t know how your parents have survived this long.”
“And the bad part is, that didn’t even slow him down. A month later, he went to Blackhole Granite and jumped into the quarry. Nearly drowned when he couldn’t swim back up in time. Landen and Tripp had to rush in and pull him up. Waylon gave him CPR until he finally coughed up water.”
I shake my head. That boy has no fear or reality of risks. How he’s survived this long is truly a mystery.
Noah sits back down, does a few easy moves, and then dismounts. My hand instinctively goes to her lower back until her feet are planted safely on the ground.
“There, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” She smirks, grabbing Donut’s lead rope.
“I’ll let ya know when my heart rate goes back to normal.”
I should be immune to taking risks and seeing people do stunts on horses, but when it comes to Noah, every little slip or bump has me on edge. I constantly remind myself how talented and skilled she is, but every morning when I meet her in the training center, I have a mini panic attack.
Each day, she gets braver and pushes herself a bit more. She even teaches me some of the stunt names she does—one-foot stand, shoulder stand, vault, the lay-up, forward fender, spin the horn, and more. Donut tolerates it all, and I appreciate how well behaved he is, so I only have to focus on her movements. After a few days, she speeds up, and Donut gallops faster. I keep as close as I can, and even though I’m a nervous wreck, I’m also impressed as hell.
Noah came into this with minimal knowledge, but she did the research ahead of time, put in the time to practice, and continued to do the moves until they felt right. She might not be an expert and wouldn’t be performing anytime soon, but she’s grasped the basics in just a week’s time.
“Pretty soon, I’ll be gettin’ fit for a sparkly outfit and travelin’ to rodeos!” She does a little spin around Donut, and he just stands there, unamused.
“How ’bout ya let Delilah do that, and you stay here where you belong?”
“Where I belong, huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”
We’re only a couple of feet apart, but the air between us is tense enough to slice through.
“Nothin’, it’s just, I prefer you on the ranch where I can still see you every day.”
Her brows pinch together as if she’s not sure how to take my words, but she doesn’t argue or ask me to clarify.
“I’d miss bein’ home anyway, but it’d be fun. Kinda jealous Delilah will get to travel to rodeos and feel all that excitement in the arena with the crowds cheerin’. I bet it’s an adrenaline rush each night.”
I nod along because she’s not wrong. That excitement never dies no matter how many times you do it.
“When are you signin’ her on?” I ask, assuming she will since she’s been practicing.
“She’s scheduled to come this weekend. I’ll watch her and see where she’s at, then I’ll give her a quote, and we’ll go from there. I don’t suspect she’ll need me more than a month or two.”
“I don’t doubt it. You’re pretty good at this.”
“Pretty good…” she muses with her hands on her hips.
Pulling out my phone, I check the time and see it’s close to nine o’clock. That’s usually when we wrap up so I can get to work, and she can get started on her training schedule. Though I enjoy every uninterrupted second I get with her. Things are no longer awkward. We’re back to being friends, and no one suspects a thing.
I fucking hate it.
I want to rip off her helmet, wrap her in my arms, hold her tight, then steal all her kisses.
But I can’t, so I settle for what I can get—heated glances and soft touches.
“You done for the day?” I ask.
Laney, Ayden’s wife, went into labor last night and gave birth early this morning, so I know she’ll want to go visit sometime today. Right as we were starting, Serena and Mallory burst in here to tell us the exciting news.
Noah looks at the time. “We’ve got five minutes. I wanna try the suicide drag again but faster.”
It’s bad enough she did it for the first time a couple of days ago, and if it wasn’t for Donut being as tolerable as he is, I would’ve said hell no. But Noah does what she wants, so I kept up and watched her every move.
“How much faster?”
“Well, enough to drag my hands in the dirt.”
Because of the position of the move, she can’t wear her helmet. Riders don’t during the rodeo either, but for the sake of her practicing, she’s kept it on. I contemplate begging her not to do it, but I know it’s no use. She won’t quit until she tries, and even if she didn’t, for my sake, I wouldn’t put it past her to do it when I’m not around. I’d rather spot her now so she can be satisfied she accomplished it versus her doing it in private and getting hurt.
“Fine. Not too fast,” I warn. “I’ve got old bull rider knees.”
She snorts. “Puttin’ that AARP medical plan to good use then, huh?”
“Very funny.” I grunt.
I take a deep breath as she swings herself back up on Donut, then gets him into a steady gallop. The arena is large enough that he can gain speed and slow down when Noah needs him to and still have plenty of time before they round a corner.
They ride around one lap before she gives me a thumbs-up, and I know she’s about to do it. There’s no way I can keep up at their speed, so I just watch and move in a circular motion.
Noah hooks her foot, drops down his side, then hangs her other leg above her head. Her arms fall to the ground as she drags them across the dirt. It happens in less than three seconds, but she stays in that position for at least ten more.
I watch with panic and amazement. I love how quickly she caught on and how she doesn’t quit when she puts her mind to something.
She pulls herself up, raises her arms, and grins wide. Smiling proudly, I clap.
When she brings Donut to a stop, she jumps down and leaps right into my arms. I wrap mine around her, hugging her to my chest and inhaling her shampoo.
“I did it!”
“I knew ya would.”
She pulls back slightly, her eyes bright and filled with excitement. A flicker of something comes over her face as she licks her lips. My throat tightens as I swallow the lump stuck there. My hand slides behind her neck, and I’m so goddamn tempted to yank her mouth to mine.
“Hey, Noah!”
At the sound of Tripp’s voice, we push apart, and I quickly shove my hands in my pockets.
“You almost done so Landen and I can come in?” he asks.
“Yeah, but I gotta show ya what I just did first!”
“Wait…” I could barely breathe the last time she did it.
She explains the move, then he stands next to me as she hops on and gets Donut going.
“She’s gettin’ really good,” I say to break the silence.
“You two were lookin’ quite cozy when I walked in. Somethin’ goin’ on between y’all?”
When I look at him, he’s studying my face as if he’s daring me to lie.
“What’re ya talkin’ about?” Sweat lines my forehead as I try to keep my voice steady.
He pops a brow. “So you’re not fuckin’ my sister? Not sure how my parents would feel about that if ya were…”
Noah drops into position and shouts at Tripp to watch her. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something on the ground right in Donut’s path.
“The hell is that?” I ask, moving closer.
Tripp follows, finally looking at his sister, and it’s not until I see it stand up do I realize it’s a snake.
“Noah, sit up!” I yell as I rush toward it.
I’m not close enough to get there before Donut sees it, and as soon as he does, he halts and rears up.
“Craig!” Tripp shouts, and I look over to see a shadow by the door.
Tripp takes off toward him as I try to grab Donut’s reins, but he’s spooked and takes off running with Noah still attached.
“My foot’s stuck!” Noah yells as she fights to lift herself.
My heart pounds as I put my arms up and use verbal commands to get Donut to stop. I wish Tripp had stayed and gotten rid of the snake so the horse would calm the hell down. Everything’s so chaotic, and I don’t know how to keep Donut from bucking.
“Relax your foot!” I tell her, hoping it’s enough for her to slide it out if he rears again.
Each time she attempts to reach for the pommel, he jumps, and she gets slammed back down.
I feel so goddamn helpless at how fast he’s moving. The arena’s too large to keep up with him.
When he rounds the next corner, I rush to get in his view and hold up my arms to hopefully get his attention to stop. He groans as his speed decreases, and I walk toward him, reaching for his reins.
Before I can grab them, Noah drops to the ground with a thud.
“Noah! Get up!”
Just as she attempts to move, the snake returns, and Donut loses his shit. He rears back, squealing, and when he goes down, his hooves land on Noah’s side with a crunch.
“Fuck!”
Noah screams as she curls into a ball. She tries talking to Donut, but he’s inconsolable.
I grab her wrists and drag her out of his stomping way until I can lift her. The snake is still harassing Donut, and there’s no way to get him to calm down without someone removing it. But my only priority is getting Noah out of here.
She groans as I rush us outside.
“I think my ankle’s fucked up,” she tells me with tears in her eyes.
“I’m more worried about your ribs, baby. Pretty sure I heard a crack.”
“Me too. They hurt like a motherfucker.” She winces in my arms as I try to open my truck door.
Knowing she probably can’t stand on her foot, I lay her down in the back seat.
“My head is throbbin’,” she says painfully.
“Noah, look at me.” I smack her hand a few times until she does. “Keep your eyes open, got it? I’m takin’ you to the ER.”
She blinks slowly as if she’s fighting the urge to close them.
“Eyes. Open. You can do it, baby.”
“Where y’all goin’?” Tripp asks from behind me.
I slam the door shut and resist the urge to sock him for leaving his sister behind.
“Donut got spooked and kicked the shit outta her.” I hop in the front seat and roll down the window. “You need to get that snake outta there, then put Donut back. He’s scared.”
“Oh shit. She got hurt?” He removes his cap and rubs through his wild hair.
“Yeah, she was hangin’ on the side of a horse when he bucked and reared. Her foot was stuck, and I couldn’t get him to calm down. Tell your parents I’m takin’ her to the ER.”
I don’t waste another second, resisting the urge to chew him a new one, and put my truck in drive. Glancing back, I check on her and remind her to look at me.
“Everythin’ hurts.”
Her little pained whimpers have my heart seizing as flashbacks surface of when I hauled Lyla into the back seat of my truck. Even though it was clear she was gone, I hung on to hope the entire walk back and drive to the hospital.
I refuse to lose Noah. She’s the love of my life, and even if we can’t be together, I can’t go through another heartbreak. I wouldn’t survive it this time.
The impact of Donut breaking her ribs could’ve punctured a lung or blood vessel. She could have internal bleeding into her chest cavity for all I know. The long list of possibilities terrifies me.
Reaching back, I grab her hand. “Squeeze the pain away, love. Don’t let go.”
