“We could do this when we both get back from California,” I say as Halsey walks, keeping one arm draped over my shoulders while he pushes the cart in front of us.
We’ve already picked out some furniture for my office and the bedroom, as well as bookshelves, a rug for the living room, and a rug for my office so we can make it our place—still so crazy that I’m saying that—and now we’re at Target, looking through simple home goods. Halsey suggested a higher-end place, which I’d never shop at, but I told him the furniture is where we put real money into. The little things like a candle can be bought at Target.
“Nah, we need to get a head start on your office to make sure it’s as comfortable as you want it to be. You already picked out the wallpaper, so why not the rest?”
“You’re sure you liked the wallpaper I picked out and you’re okay with actually having a wall with wallpaper on it?”
He pauses and turns to me. “Blakely, what makes you think I’m going to change my mind?”
“I don’t know, I just don’t want you thinking I’m taking advantage or anything.”
“The thought would never cross my mind, okay? I want you to be comfortable and I want you to be with me, therefore, we’re putting wallpaper up on the wall, we’ve bought furniture, and now we’re purchasing the trinkets that will make the place more homey.”
And this is why I can’t help but fall for this man, because he cares about me, about us, about going the distance. He’s one of the top paid players in the league, he has all the fame, all the glory, yet, he’s the most down-to-earth man I’ve ever met. You’d never know he was one of the best hockey players currently playing because he doesn’t flaunt it. He doesn’t act like the world revolves around him. He puts me first.
He puts us first.
“Thank you,” I say as I press a kiss to his jaw.
“Anything for you, Blakely,” he says as he moves us toward the kitchen aisles. “Do we need another whisk?”
I chuckle. “No, we haven’t used the one that we have.”
“Can you tell that to Posey please? Because when we were panic shopping before you arrived at the apartment, he insisted I needed the whisk and I told him you wouldn’t use it.”
“I’ll make him a card with a he-told-you-so mention for you.”
“And that’s why you’re my girl,” he says while pressing a kiss to the side of my head.
“Hey, do we need a waffle maker?” he asks, stopping in front of one.
I chuckle. “Are you domesticating yourself today, Halsey?”
He looks me up and down and then back at the waffle maker. “What if I am, do you have a problem with that?”
“Not even a little.” I walk up behind him and put my arm around his waist while he inspects the waffle maker. “If you get one, we can get some of those Kodiak Cakes mixes that have extra protein in them.”
“Then it’s sold, we’re getting a waffle maker.” He scratches his chin. “Now the question is, which one? Two plates or four?”
“Four,” I say. “That way we can eat together rather than me eating my two while you wait for two more to cook.”
His eyes meet mine as he says, “Fuck, you’re so smart,” and then he plants a huge kiss on my lips, which only makes me smile.
“YOU DIDN’T HAVE to get these pre-built,” Halsey says as he stares at the bookshelves we purchased. We bought an L-shaped bookcase that fits perfectly in the nook of the living room. I also surprised him with a reading chair and lamp that I bought on my own. Something he wouldn’t buy for himself, but that he absolutely loves. He’s also mentioned it will be perfect to fuck me on as well.
Not mad about that either.
“You weren’t going to build this by yourself.”
“You would have helped me,” he says.
I shake my head. “No, that’s where you’re wrong. I would not have helped you. I’m not into building or getting frustrated with each other over the assembly of furniture. Now let’s load your books on the shelves. The only thing we need to talk about is how you want them organized.”
“I don’t care.” He shrugs. “Just stick them on there.”
I clutch my hand to my chest. “Dear God, Halsey. I’m not even a big reader and I know that’s sacrilege. You can’t just stick the books up there. There needs to be purpose to it.”
“Why though? I don’t care.”
“Clearly, given where you’ve been storing all of your books, but now that they’re going to have a new home, let’s treat them with some decency. Now your choices are as follows: we can group them by author, or genre, or by color.”
“What do you mean by color?” he asks.
“Well, don’t let me influence you, but it might be fun to do what the Home Edit does.”
“What the hell is that?” he asks.
I roll my eyes. “I should have known, given the state of your apartment when I arrived. The Home Edit are two ladies that have revolutionized the way we organize our houses. Their claim to fame is turning everything into a rainbow. So if you have a bunch of crayons, you organize them into rainbow order. Or books . . . you group them by color and put them in rainbow order.”
“Huh.” He glances down at the books. “Yeah, that might be nice. Although, there are a lot of black spines.”
“That’s okay, we can stack those up high and hopefully the more colorful ones will be at eye level.”
“That works for me,” he says as he starts picking up books and sorting them by color.
I start helping him but he stops me and says, “You’re not doing that right.”
“What do you mean?” I look down at my small piles.
“You’re not doing it with your shirt off.”
I roll my eyes and swat him away. “Don’t be a pervert.”
“Baby, when you have a girl like mine, it’s hard not to be a pervert. Now take off that top and those shorts. I want to see the goods.”
I look him up and down. “Only if you do.”
Eyes on me, he reaches behind his head and pulls his shirt off. Then he pushes his shorts down, leaving him in just his boxer briefs.
So . . . to match him, I take off my top and remove my shorts, leaving me in a thong and another see-through bra. I bought more once I saw how crazy they made him.
“Fuck . . . me,” he says as his eyes immediately go to my breasts.
I hold my hand out as he takes a step forward. “Books first, sex on the new chair after.”
“Promise?” he asks.
“Promise,” I say.
“Then get to work, you dirty girl. I need that pussy in my mouth now.” He slaps my ass and as a squeal comes out of me, he smirks and starts moving faster with the books.
Ugh . . . this man.
It’s crazy to say, but . . . I love him.
I know I do. I did love Perry, but this feels so different. There were . . . boundaries with Perry. Limits. And it’s not just that Halsey spoils me with whatever I want. It’s more about his attitude toward me. I’m his world, which I’ve seen in Eli with Penny too. These guys have so much riding on their careers, so much pressure not to be distracted by anything other than hockey, but they’re so sacrificial when it comes to how they love. And let me tell you, it’s incredible to be the recipient of such devotion. I’ve always wanted what my parents have. They just complement each other in so many ways. They’re different, just like Halsey and I are different, yet those differences make them better as a couple. And I think I’ve finally found that too. I could imagine spending the rest of my life with this man. More so than I ever felt with Perry.
These heavy feelings I have for him. It’s love.
It’s true, deep, real love.
Once-in-a-lifetime all-consuming love.
And I’m almost positive he feels the same way about me.
“YOU’RE QUIET,” I say to Halsey as I stroke my fingers over his bare chest.
We’re lying in bed, our breath still slightly labored from how Halsey took me against the wall, and I can feel him thinking. How do I know? Because he’s the same after every time we have sex—he strokes my bare skin, telling me how soft it is. He’s reminding me how beautiful he thinks I am, and he’s kissing me carefully until I fall asleep.
But he’s not doing any of those things, which means he’s thinking about something.
Something is on his mind.
“Sorry,” he says as he drags his fingers up and down my back.
“Don’t be sorry. Is there something you want to talk about that might be occupying your mind at the moment?”
He turns his head and kisses me on the forehead. “Got caught up in how much I like you. Moments like these, I wish I could share this with people.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“With Holden,” he says softly. “He’d like you so much. He’d immediately see how perfect you are for me and I don’t know, just sad that I haven’t been able to share this with him.”
“Oh, I understand.”
He’s silent again but then says, “I’ve been thinking.”
“Yeah?” I say as I play with his trimmed chest hair, letting the short, stubby strands run against my nails. “What are you thinking about?”
“I was thinking about contacting my parents.”
“Really?” I ask while I sit up so I can look at him.
He nods. “Yeah. There’s been too much time that’s passed where we haven’t kept in touch, and I don’t think that should continue. Hell, I don’t know anything that’s going on in their lives and that’s scary. What if they need help or what if they’re struggling? I don’t know. I should at least try to contact them.”
“Would you message them together? Because didn’t you say they were divorced?”
“Yeah,” he says. “I think I’d try messaging my dad first. He and I had a better relationship and my mom was closest with Holden so, I think if I approach my dad first, maybe that would be better.”
“I agree,” I say. “What about Hayden?” I bring my hand to his hair and smooth down the stray pieces. Beads of sweat still lay at his crown from how much he exerted himself.
“He’d be next on the list. I think he’d be the hardest to talk to.”
“Why?” I ask.
“Because we said some shit things to each other. Things that are hard to apologize for, so . . . yeah. I have to find the courage to talk to him.”
“Can I help you find that courage?”
He smiles softly. “Just keep being with me.”
“I’m not going anywhere, Halsey.”
“Good.” He sighs as he looks up at me. He plays with a strand of my hair for a moment and then says, “I’m so glad you’re here with me. Still feels like I’m living in a dream despite it being reality.”
“Feels like a dream to me at times as well.”
He lifts up and rolls me to my back where he leans down and softly kisses me.
And those kisses turn into more kisses.
And before I know it, he’s moving between my legs again.
I SIT on the edge of the couch, my hands clasped in front of me as I watch Halsey move the puck down the ice. He shoots it over to OC who passes it rapidly to Silas. Silas flies behind the net and flicks the puck back to Halsey. He twists to the side and backhands the puck to OC just as Halsey breaks free from the defense and cuts in front of the goal. OC delivers a precise pass and Halsey backhands it into the goal.
The siren sounds off and I leap into the air and silently cheer because Holden is sleeping on Penny’s chest.
She lightly chuckles while I sit back down. Whispering, she says, “Your nipples are hard.”
“Are they?” I glance down and sure enough, there they are, standing to a point. “Would you look at that, even when we’re not in the same room he can make them hard.”
Penny laughs and I recline on the couch with her. “You know, I’m really happy for you,” she says. “You seem so genuinely filled with joy.”
I turn toward her as the game cuts to a commercial. “I am. I’m really happy.”
“I can tell. I don’t think that smile has left your face since you two started dating.”
I shrug. “I could say the same about you and Eli. I think when you meet the right person, they change everything about you. How you feel inside and out.”
Penny nods. “I agree. Even though my pregnancy was hard on me, and Holden has been troublesome at times, just like any baby, whenever Eli walks into the room, I feel at peace.” Her eyes meet mine. “I’m guessing it wasn’t like that with Perry.” That’s an interesting observation Penny has made. She never said anything negative about my relationship with Perry, but I could tell she didn’t think we really . . . fit. And although it felt easy with Perry—after all, we were together for many years—I feel such a soul-deep connection with Halsey. I’m just so happy.
“Not to the extent that I feel with Halsey. Perry and I got along fine. It’s not as if we fought. But I do feel we’d both stopped giving each other our all. It feels insane. I nearly didn’t get this.” I shake my head. “Like, what if he never decided to move to Australia? I would have married him, and I wouldn’t have known this feeling I have any time I think of Halsey. I would have missed out on so much.”
“Have you heard from Perry at all since the wedding?”
I shake my head. “No. I did speak to Arlene, though, because I know some people saw the interaction, and I wanted to make sure it didn’t negatively impact her wedding. She said she didn’t even know until the next day when her family was gossiping about it at brunch. Apparently, Perry came off as an ass and Halsey a hero.”
“I mean, that’s how I saw it.”
I smirk. “Hard not to side with the hot, overprotective hockey player. But Marco did connect with Perry to make sure he was okay. Apparently, he threw in the towel and went back to Australia, so, I think that chapter of my life is officially closed.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“Fine,” I say. “Like I said, the feelings I have for Halsey severely outweigh the ones I had for Perry, it’s an easy choice. Now, if Halsey was the one who left I’d fight. I don’t think there’s a bone in my body that would let him go. There is no scenario where that would ever occur.”
“Sooo . . .” Penny drags out. “Does that mean you love him?”
I nod. “Yeah, I do.”
“Oh . . . my . . . God,” she whispers, then closes her eyes. “I still can’t believe we were able to make this happen.”
“Are you really taking credit?” I ask, brow raised.
“Uh, yeah. Maybe our suggestions aren’t what won you over in the end, but it kept Halsey involved, and if we weren’t pushing him, then I don’t think he would have ever made a move.”
“Which is so strange to me,” I say. “He’s such a confident man. You’d think he would have tried to get me on his own.”
“Not when playing with his heart,” Penny says. “He protects that carefully.”
“I guess you’re right about that.”
“So what’s next? You guys are officially living together, the place looks amazing, much better than the sterile four walls you originally moved into. Are you going to get married?”
“Hey . . . if anyone is getting married first, it’s you and Eli.”
“I know, we’re working on it. We want to take our time. Maybe when Holden is a little older, he can be the ring bearer. We talked about it the other night. We want him to have a part in the wedding, and it would be adorable seeing him waddle down the aisle.”
I move my hand to my heart. “My God, that would be so cute.”
“Yeah, so it might be a while, but we’re okay with that. What about you?”
“I think I just want to relax and enjoy the time with Halsey. Make it through the season, go up to the famous cabin in Banff during the summer, and see where it takes us. I know he’s committed to me, though. He’s said it several times.”
“That’s the one thing you have to love about these boys. They’re loyal to their core.”
“They are,” I say as the game comes back on, and they show a replay of Halsey’s goal. He makes it seem so effortless as he handles the puck and glides along the ice. And I can vouch for the fact that this man is good at using his hands. “Also, Halsey has mentioned wanting to get in touch with his family again. He talked about it the other night.”
“What did he say?”
“Just that he thinks it’s time.”
“Are you worried about it?” Penny asks just as Holden lifts his head but then slams it back down on her chest. She lightly grunts and rubs his back, soothing him.
“No, not really. I mean, I’m worried that maybe Halsey might not get what he wants from it, but I’ll be there for him the entire time. He’s mentioned wishing his family was closer. I think the more intense our relationship becomes, the more he wants to share it.”
“You think because he wants to marry you?”
“Well, we haven’t said I love you yet, but from the way he speaks about me, it sounds like he’d want to head in that direction. I can’t imagine what it would be like to get married without your family, you know?”
“Yeah, so he probably wants to mend those relationships for what he has planned.”
“I think so,” I say.
She nods. “Well, I hope everything turns out the way he wants it to. He deserves happiness, and he’s found it with you. I truly hope that’s all he needs.”
“YOU LOOK HOT,” Halsey says as I walk into the kitchen wearing a black pencil skirt, navy-blue top, black tailored suit jacket, and black high heels.
“Thank you,” I say as I walk up to him where he’s sitting on the counter, drinking his coffee. I cup his cheek and kiss him, only quickly though before I pull away.
“Are you sure you don’t want me to drive you to the airport?” he asks.
“Positive. You have to pack and get on the road soon yourself.”
“I’d make it work for you.”
I grab a protein bar—this almond coconut one that Halsey got me into—and stuff it into my carry-on before grabbing a premade iced coffee from the fridge as well.
“I know you would, but I don’t want you stressing,” I say. “Anyway, you have some important games to concentrate on.”
“I’m not worried.” He sets his coffee down and hops off the counter. My brilliantly handsome and muscular man walks right up to me and loops his arm around my waist. “We’re taking the title this year, Blakely. I can feel it in my bones.”
“All the more reason you shouldn’t worry about me. Focus on what you need to do, and I’ll see you in California.”
He kisses up my neck. “What time do you have to leave?”
“Now,” I say as I chuckle. “There’s no time for that. Plus, you already had me twice this morning, hence why I have no time.”
“Twice is not enough. It will never be enough,” he says, bringing his lips to mine.
I let him kiss me, deep and hard, so I feel his love for me all the way to the tips of my toes, and I feel myself falling into his grasp, into this hold he seems to have on me.
His hold grows stronger.
His kiss lasts longer.
And I drop my bag to the ground as I wrap my arms around him.
He groans against me, then lifts me onto the counter. He pushes my legs to the side, twists my torso so I’m facing him better, and kisses me more, his tongue diving deep, his hands sifting through my hair. This man and his incredible kisses. He’s amazing. And I’m addicted.
“Fuck, Blakely,” he whispers just as he pulls away and leans his head against mine. “I know you need to leave. I’m not trying to be a dick here.” When his eyes meet mine, I see the desperation. I can see that he wants to say something, and it’s on the tip of his tongue.
“You’re not being a dick,” I say. “I will always love the way you want me.”
“And I want you, so bad, every fucking second of my life.” He takes a deep breath. “I can’t stop thinking about you. And I hate this, when I have to leave. And I hate even more that you have to leave. I like knowing you’re here in our apartment, safe.”
That last word hits me hard because I know exactly what it pertains to.
This clinginess.
The need for him to hold me.
Touch me.
Be near me.
He’s scared something might happen to me.
“Halsey,” I say, looking him square in the eyes. “Are you scared?”
He wets his lips while he nods.
“It’s okay to be scared. I get that, but please know, I’ll be making the smartest decisions to keep safe, okay?”
“Promise?”
The insecurity in his eyes.
The trepidation.
It nearly shatters me.
“I promise,” I say.
Nodding, he cups my cheek one last time for a kiss before helping me off the counter.
“Thank you,” he says softly as he picks up my bag for me and helps me to the door with my suitcase. “For understanding.”
“You never have to thank me for something like that,” I say.
I take my bag and suitcase from him, then place my hand on his chest. “I’ll miss you.”
He sighs heavily. “Miss you too, baby. I’ll see you in California.”
I kiss him gently. “See you in California.”
