Tia
We’ve spent all evening wandering around the town of Basington. I showed Cole the bar I used to work at, we picked up a few groceries, and looked around a few stores. The area in which I live in is okay, but nowhere near as nice as the next town over, Chester.
Properties sell for millions of dollars in Chester. Children go to elite private schools, and stores are known boutiques. It’s the perfect family town for young professional families, somewhere I’ll never be able to afford nor fit in.
We’re sitting in the park with sandwiches, watching the kids play on the nearby playground in a comfortable silence. Cole watches the children chasing one another with a smile playing on his lips, and my heart does a little flutter at the softness in his expression, giving me the courage to do something I’ve never done before.
“I have a daughter.”
I can feel Cole’s eyes snap to mine, but I stare ahead, unprepared to witness the disappointment in his expression. Something inside me tells me to be open with him, that I can trust him, and maybe, just maybe, he can help me somehow.
And if we’re going to be in some sort of relationship, I need him to know. I need him to know about her.
“Her name’s Harper, and she’s four years old.”
“Does she live with her dad?” Cole waits expectantly for me to continue.
My heart thumps in my ears, my chest heaving.
I stare out at the children playing, imagining Harper among them. “No.” I clear my throat. “She has a placement with a couple.”
“Placement?” I flinch at Cole’s tone. He’s mad. I’m not surprised, I know I’m a bad mother, one who could barely feed her baby.
“Like foster care?” His words are sharp, cutting deep in my heart at the accusation behind them. He knows firsthand children don’t go into care for no reason. No, they go there because there’s no other choice. Their parents let them down and are incapable of caring for them. My heart constricts at the thought.
My eyes fill with tears. “She deserves better,” I whisper the words, but he picks up on them anyway.
“Damn fucking right she deserves better. What kind of mother are you?” He spits the words like venom, and they hurt just like they were meant to.
They cut deep, forcing me to close my eyes at the searing pain I feel when my chest closes up, hearing him utter the words I’ve heard multiple times. Yet, I still cling on to the hope that one day—one day—I might be good enough for her.
His rage radiates from him; the heat of his temper forces me to shuffle away slightly. My body is shutting down, and I pull my knees up to my chest and cling to them for comfort.
He moves closer to me, his mouth close to my ear. “Do you know what happens to kids in care? Do you know what some poor kids go through?” he hisses out venomously.
My spine bolts straight with anger, and I jump to my feet. He follows suit, and the anger building inside me makes me snap as I spin to face him. “How dare you? How dare you fucking judge me? You know nothing about me, Cole. Nothing. And here I was thinking we had some sort of connection, that I could trust you!” I poke my finger into his chest, forcing him to take a step back in shock at my reaction. Well, screw him and his words.
My chest heaves, and tears streak down my face as I point toward my chest. “I know what it feels like. I know what some sick bastards are capable of, and without a shadow of a doubt, I would do every fucking thing in my power to stop that, so don’t you dare tell me I don’t know what happens in care. Don’t you fucking dare!”
