Daisy
I feel like I’m floating. From the moment the doctor uttered those words to this moment now, as I sit at the table in Ronan’s apartment, finishing the dinner Agatha prepared for us.
I’m…pregnant.
Suddenly everything just clicks. With the way I’ve been feeling lately—the nausea, exhaustion, dizziness—it all makes perfect sense. I almost feel like an idiot for not connecting those dots sooner.
And now, here I sit in this penthouse suite. Even though I know I shouldn’t feel the least bit nervous or worried, I still can’t help but wonder what exactly this means for my future, for our future.
We have options—I know that—but in my heart, I know how much I want this.
But does he?
Ronan said he was happy, but is he really considering what sort of change this will mean for him? He’s fifty-six…about to turn fifty-seven. Does he really want to start a family now? Will bringing home a child bring back too many harsh memories of the one he lost?
Has he truly forgiven me enough to want a commitment this serious?
Nine years ago, my mother chose me over him. If I choose to keep this baby, will I lose him?
My mind is a mess, like a ping-pong ball back and forth from pure exhilaration to profound dread.
Moments after I hear the front door close as Agatha leaves, I know Ronan and I are alone. His hands caress my shoulders as he leans down to press his lips to my head.
“You look deep in thought. Are you okay?” he asks.
“I’m going to keep the baby,” I say in a confident whisper. His hand strokes my back, but he stays silent. Inside, my stomach turns. I feel as if I’m channeling my mother, suddenly understanding what it must have felt like to choose me over him. Except, I don’t have half the strength she did. Right now, I’m terrified.
“Ronan, say something, please,” I stammer nervously.
As I pull away, I stare up into his eyes and let out a short gasp. There are tears brimming in his eyes and a look of joy in his expression. “I don’t know what the fuck to say, Daisy.”
“I need to know you’re sure about this,” I whisper.
He pulls me from the chair and wraps his arms around me as he gazes into my eyes. “I’m sure, Daisy. Are you?”
“I’m terrified,” I reply, my voice breaking on a sob.
When his face falls into a somber expression, I realize that what he’s holding on to more than anything right now is hope. Ronan has every reason to be as terrified as me, if not more. He’s already been through the worst parenthood could give him. But he’s still holding me and our unborn child together, as if he would willingly walk into that fire again with the hope that it will all work out.
“It’s going to be okay, Daisy.”
It’s funny how those words, spoken by someone you trust, can mean so much. How it somehow quiets all of those worries and makes breathing a little easier.
I don’t respond, but I do give him a gentle nod.
“I could tell you exactly how this is going to go, and we could map out the rest of our lives to ensure that every single moment is perfect, but the only guarantee in life is that it won’t happen the way you think it will, baby girl. All we can do is enjoy this moment, right now.”
The breath that comes out of me is heavy with relief. I wrap my arms around his waist and bury myself in his chest. I feel his heart pound against my cheek as we hold each other, and slowly, the terror I felt a moment ago starts to melt away.
“Join me in the shower,” he whispers, and my stomach flutters with excitement. Two months without his touch and now it’s all I want.
He takes me by the hand, leading me to the bathroom, and I let him peel off every layer of my clothing, until I’m standing in front of him naked. As his hands drift down my body, his lips follow the trail, from my shoulders, over my breasts, and then pausing as his hand rests over my belly.
As he holds it there, the emotion barrels over me again. The moment his eyes meet mine, it feels as if he’s holding me and our child together, and my heart swells in my chest. This is a moment I’ll remember for as long as I live.
Then, he drops to his knees in front of me, pressing his lips to my stomach, and I run my fingers through his hair. We stay like that for a while, both of us absorbing this new reality that came barreling into our lives without warning. It may have been a surprise, but it feels right.
When he rises from his knees, I pull his mouth to mine. His kiss feels like home. I want to enjoy every second of this moment right now, savoring the intimacy between us.
The world feels so much safer when I’m in his embrace and not because he’ll protect me from everything that could happen to me, but because I know that no matter what happens, he’ll be there.
Our kiss grows more heated by the moment. Without pulling my mouth away, I undo each button of his white shirt, tearing it off his body before reaching for his pants. Our fingers fumble together to get them down, and when his boxer briefs slide out of my way, I reach for his stiffening length, eliciting a moan from his body as I wrap my hand around him.
After a couple soft strokes, he hoists me up, so I wrap my legs around him as he carries me into the steaming shower. Then my back is against the wall and he’s grinding his erection between us, hard against my clit.
We are in a frenzy of desire as our mouths and hands devour each other, and when Ronan aligns his cock with my aching core, I nearly yank him into me.
“Fuck me, please.” I groan before finding his eyes with my own and adding the one word I’ve been dying to say over the past two months. “Daddy.”
With a guttural moan, he thrusts inside me and holds himself there, so we can both savor this feeling. Our bodies are bonded as one, as he slowly withdraws and slides back in, finding a slow rhythm together.
It’s like the moment in the bathtub all over again. The years between us don’t matter. Our ages mean nothing. In this small space, our connection outweighs all of that.
As he thrusts harder, slamming into me at a quicker pace, I let out a breathless moan. My body starts to tighten with pleasure, so I reach between us, finding my clit and rubbing in tight, fast circles.
“That’s my girl,” he mutters between the forceful drives of his hips. My legs squeeze tightly around him as I’m nearly blinded by the sensation of my orgasm.
“Come on Daddy’s cock, Daisy.” His voice is strained as he slides in one last time before shuddering his own climax inside me.
We’re both gasping for air as he releases my legs and eases out of me. Light-headed from the steam and exertion, we cling tightly to each other as we slowly catch our breaths.
“I love you,” I whisper into the crook of his neck.
As he strokes my head, peppering my face with kisses, he whispers against my cheek, “I love you more than anything in this world, baby girl.”
My heart swells in my chest as he brings our lips together. And as he washes every inch of my body, from my head to my feet, I feel every ounce of that love.
Deep down, I know that Ronan and I were always meant to find each other. The odds may have been stacked against us, but there was something far more powerful bringing us together. In some strange way, I think my mother would be relieved to know we found each other. It may seem unconventional, but this is what she wanted, for both of us to find the kind of love that makes life worth living.
And no matter what this cruel, poetic life brings us, I know he’ll be there to take care of me. And I’ll be there to take care of him.
