Bella
Bile swirls in my stomach, threatening to climb up my throat. I’m repulsed. Downright sickened by the way he’s treating me.
Get on his good side. It was supposed to be easy. This is anything but easy.
Can I really do this? Strip down to nothing in front of this man who is nothing short of a stranger?
I once ate a three-day-old sandwich from the trash. Got slapped by a drunk man my mom brought home when I was three—never even cried. I walked the streets for hours that night and no one even came to try and find me. I’ve also turned my back on my best friend without thinking twice because I wanted a better life.
Hell yes, I can do this.
I take another step, pushing one strap off my arm, then another step, pushing the other strap down. The silk fabric of the dress feels nice against my bare skin as it waterfalls off me.
Cal stands behind me, my backside fully exposed to him. I lift the hood on the piano and position the leg, so it’s in place, then rest the hood back down, so it’s slightly open.
With my hair bunched to one side, I grip the strands tightly as a tear slides down my cheek. I dart my tongue out, sweeping it off my lip and swallow hard while pushing my pride down.
I grip the sides of my underwear and slide them down, stepping each leg out, then I sit down on the bench.
It’s been over two years since my fingers have laid on piano keys. I didn’t stop because of a bad experience or anything like that. The passion left me and no matter how hard I tried to force myself to play, the music didn’t hit quite like it used to. Not like it did when I’d play next to Cal. I could no longer feel it in my core. The sounds were different, less satisfying.
I look over at him and I’m surprised to see his eyebrows pulled together with an evident crease. He looks as if his mind is tormented, held captive by the past. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows and I find myself doing the same—swallowing hard, hoping he doesn’t notice.
My shaky fingers hover over D and E. I blink away my tears then I press down and begin. It’s been twelve years, two months, and thirteen days since I’ve played this song. Yet, my fingers gyrate across the keys like it was yesterday.
Memories flood me all at once.
“Okay. Are you ready?” I ask Cal as his eyes glide across the notebook. He’s gnawing on his pencil and it looks like he’s chewed the eraser completely off.
“Mmhmm,” he grumbles, not even lifting his eyes from the page.
I don’t begin. I just watch him, waiting, because I know he’s not paying attention. His lips move as he silently reads the words he just wrote.
“Cal!” I grab his attention.
He drops his pencil into his notebook and closes it. “Sorry. Something just isn’t flowing right.”
“Don’t stress about it. I’ll help you. But first, are you ready?”
He nods. “Let’s hear it.”
I draw in a full breath and begin playing. Everything in the room is silent and still. The only sound is the harmony that surrounds us.
When I glance over at Cal, my heart quivers. He’s not just listening; he’s staring at me. His lips curl up in a smile and my cheeks flush with heat. I smile back at him then return my eyes to the keys.
I don’t have the notes written out. I’ve been practicing for weeks and I’ve finally got it down, stored in memory.
My fingers drum faster as I hit the chorus. My back steels as I pour my heart and soul into the composition.
Cal scooches closer, his leg brushing against mine and butterflies flutter through my stomach. I look over at him, wearing the same smile he is. His eyes light up and for the first time in a while, I feel seen—heard, rather.
I wrap it up and end the song with a chord progression, then set my hands on my lap.
My nerves are heightened as I anticipate his reaction. “Well?”
“Wow, Bella. That was really good.”
I perk up, tucking one leg under the other and turning toward him. “You really think so?”
“Probably the best sound in the entire world.”
I open my eyes, not even realizing that they were closed. Cal is now standing to my left, his hand resting on the base of the piano. I stumble over a few keys but get back on track and keep going with it. I can’t believe I even remember this song.
Cal takes a step closer and sits on the edge of the bench. I slide over a tad and I’m not sure if it’s to get away from him, or to make room for him.
This moment is unlike any other since I’ve been here. So many emotions invade me and I try like hell to fight against them. My chest feels constricted—my lungs unable to fully inflate.
Another tear falls from the corner of my eye, but it’s not because I’m scared. It’s because I’m sad. My heart is breaking and it’s because of this melody, this moment, and him.
My soul cries happiness for the years together—sadness for the years apart—and fear for the years ahead.
What does this life mean anymore?
I finish the song off and rest my hands on my lap.
Silence engulfs us.
Until Cal breaks it. “Are you going to ask me?”
My arms cross over my chest, hugging myself to hide my breasts as much as possible. “Ask you?”
“What I thought about the song?”
He remembers. I always asked him what he thought every time I played, sometimes, multiple times a day. Once I woke him up just to sneak downstairs and listen, so I could hear his thoughts on a piece.
“Okay. I’ll bite. What did you think?”
Cal brushes the stray strands of hair from my shoulder and begins to caress my upper arm. “I think it was the best sound in the entire world.”
My heart pangs with agony. I feel dizzy and weak under his thumb.
“Why are you doing this?” I sniffle. “Beyond the anger and possible revenge. Why?”
Cal taps his finger to the C key repeatedly. I tuck my chin to my chest to see his face and there’s a glint of a smile. “We were pretty brave back then, weren’t we?”
I cover his hand with mine, stopping him from tapping the key. “We were just kids.”
His eyes stay affixed to my hand that’s touching him. “We were survivors.”
There’s no fighting the tears that fall from my eyes. What have I done to him?
“I’m so sorry, Cal.”
Regardless of everything he’s done to me the past couple of days—forcing me to strip down and sit here wearing my vulnerability—a mountain of regret has made a home inside of me. Maybe that was the point of all this. Maybe I deserve it. It wasn’t until I sat down at this piano that it all hit me. Full force with enough pain to satisfy my worst enemy.
Keeping his hand in place, beneath mine, he tilts his head to look at me. Our eyes catch and a flame ignites inside of me. He has the most gorgeous dark eyes and I’m almost certain they can still read mine. I wish I could read his thoughts. If only I knew what he wanted from me.
My questions are answered when his lips collide with mine. His hands cup my cheeks as he devours my mouth like he’s starving for my taste. It’s passionate and unruly and I reciprocate by throwing myself into him.
Gripping the side of his head, I tangle my fingers in his mess of hair and give him what he’s asking of me.
He tastes sweet, like apple-flavored whiskey. I haven’t had anything to drink, but my head is spinning, my body reacting, like I’ve drank an entire bottle by myself.
Cal slides his hands down to my waist, placing them on either side of me, then lifts me up until I’m on his lap, straddling him.
It doesn’t even matter to me right now that I’m completely naked while he’s fully dressed. His erection pressing against my pussy alleviates all the humiliation on my end.
Tingles ride through me and I’m at his mercy, internally begging for him to do something—anything. I deepen our kiss, jutting my hips and arching my back.
A low grumble rides up his throat before he dips his hand between my legs and rubs his fingers in circles at my entrance.
God, I want his fingers inside of me so badly, and I hate myself for it.
I need him to touch me. Carry me to that high he took me to the last time his fingers were inside me.
I roll my hips again, forcing friction. He slides two fingers inside of me, giving me what I want, and my body jolts.
“Do you want me to fuck you, Bella?” he asks through a raspy breath.
I pull out of the kiss and look behind him, thinking. I want to tell him to shut up before he ruins this moment, but I don’t out of fear of pissing him off.
Although, he’s bound to get pissed one way or another. “No,” I shake my head, “I don’t.”
It’s the truth. I don’t want to have sex with Cal, or any other man, until I’m married. It’s a personal decision and one I’ve never swayed from. I’m all for foreplay and self-care, but when it comes to the unification of sex itself, I choose to wait.
“So, you’re just a tease then? Is that what this is?” His fingers reach deeper, almost painfully.
My heart jumps into my throat and I look at him with narrowed eyes. “A tease?” I breathe out a moan. “You’re the one who made me take my clothes off.”
He keeps digging, his nails scraping inside of me, but I crave more. “And you willingly did it. You climbed on my lap and spread your legs for me, never once fighting me off or saying you don’t want this.”
He’s taking this conversation too far and I’m no longer in the mood. I go to swing my leg over him to get up, but he slaps his hand on my thigh, hard, leaving behind a stinging sensation.
I try again, to no avail, as he holds me in place. “I’m only human, Cal.”
“And I’m not?”
With a crooked grin, I hold his gaze. “I don’t know, are you?”
He grabs my hand, laying it on his erect cock. “I have human needs just like you do.”
Cal squeezes his hand over mine, forcing me to feel his girth and my God, it is girthy. I can only imagine what that thing would do to my insides. It has the potential to spread me so far open that I would rip.
Cal moves his hand up and down, forcing mine to do the same. I take note of his length. At least eight inches that would fill me up. It sounds satisfying. His big cock sliding in and out of me while his naked, warm body presses to mine. I clench my thighs at the tempting thought.
No. I have morals. Having sex with Cal is the very last thing I need to do. What I need to do is find a way to leave.
I jerk my hand away and try one more time to get off his lap, but this time he grabs me by the throat. “Do my needs not matter? Only yours? You want to come around my fingers only to have me go jerk off in my room, alone?”
The image of him stroking his cock flashes through my head and I pinch my eyes shut, trying to rid my mind of it.
What the hell is the matter with me?
“No,” I choke out, his grip relentless.
“Then get on your knees and prove it.”
“I…I can’t, Cal. I have a—”
“What, Bella? A boyfriend?”
I nod slightly.
The veins in his neck flex prominently as he clenches his jaw. “Consider your relationship with Trent over.” He emphasizes his name as if saying it is torturous.
Cal isn’t wrong. My relationship is over. It was over long before I left home.
But even if my body is hungry for a man’s touch—Cal’s touch—as sadistic as it is, I’ve already been unfaithful once.
Another tear slides down my cheek and I’m so damn tired of crying. “If I do what you want, will you let me leave the island?”
“I can’t let you leave, but I can promise I won’t hurt you.” His voice is tranquil as he observes the tear skating down my cheek. His jaw begins to unclench, the muscles in his forehead relax, and his posture goes slack. His eyes shift to mine and it’s almost as if he was under a spell that he snapped out of, because now I’m looking into the eyes of the Cal I used to know. In a matter of seconds, the threat he held has disappeared, taking my fear along with it.
“Forget it. You can go back to your room now,” he says, still staring deep into my eyes.
For a moment, I imagine myself leaving his lap and pulling my dress back on and walking out of this room, only to go in mine and spend the evening alone. It’s been so lonely, and I think he’s lonely, too.
“Maybe I don’t want to,” I whisper, raising my trembling hand and setting it on his cheek. The touch of his skin feels like fire against my palm.
My eyes close and I lean forward, gently pressing my mouth to his. The feelings that hit me all at once are obscure. So much doubt, but so much desire. Our lips never part as I hold this soft kiss in place. Chills ride up my thighs, never stopping until they spill into our kiss.
A soft, subtle kiss that escalates into two people ripping into each other without giving it a single thought—I refuse to let myself overthink this. Even if I know it’s wrong, my body won’t allow me to stop.
With both hands pressed to Cal’s cheeks, our heads tilt, our teeth clank, tongues tangling haphazardly in a muddle of passion.
My want for him drips from my pussy onto his black trousers, seeping through them and coating his erect cock.
Cal puts his hands on both of my breasts and squeezes so hard that it hurts, but I want more. More pain, more pleasure, more of him.
He pinches my puckered nipples, tugging at them and stretching them. His teeth graze my bottom lip before he bites down forcibly. I cringe, pulling back to look at him, but he doesn’t let my mouth leave his for long. He regains my lip and sucks hard, really hard. I whimper at the rush of pain. “Ouch, Cal.”
He doesn’t stop, just keeps milking my lip of blood until he licks his lips and I see a streak of red on them. Then, he kisses me, compelling me to taste it. It’s metallic, mixed with his sweet, apple tang.
Something about it turns me on even more, causing me to roll my hips against his cock. My breasts perk up when my back arches and his lips work their way down from my neck to my chest before he takes my nipple into his mouth.
My head drapes back, eyes closed. Warm, dampened hands slide under my ass and he squeezes my cheeks while sucking on my nipple. “You should have left when you had the chance.” His voice is husky behind an ominous tone.
In a swift motion, he stands, cradling my ass while seducing my mouth once again. My legs wrap around him and he kicks the piano stool backward, causing it to flip over.
Cal takes a few steps, holding tightly to me, our lips never parting. Once we’re on the other side of the piano, he uses one hand to knock out the leg holding up the hood, then he sets me down on top of it.
He stands tall in front of me, my knees level with his abdomen. His hands slide up my legs, separating my thighs. My body infused with desire and lust as I watch him. Biting the corner of his lip, he gapes at my pussy. I should be mortified that he’s studying my body like it’s a science experiment, but all I want to do is grab his hand and shove his fingers inside of me while feeling his skin meld with mine.
When I go to grab his face to pull his mouth to mine, he retracts, pushing his hand against my chest to move me back. My brows pinch together, wondering why he suddenly won’t kiss me. After all this, is he leaving me here unsatisfied?
“Lie down,” he demands in an authoritative tone.
I do as I’m told, sliding back onto the piano. I close my legs and bend them at the crease beneath my knees, letting the lower half dangle over the side of the piano. Folding my arms up, I cover my breasts.
Cal slides off his jacket, then unbuttons his shirt, while watching me intently. His chest is exposed to me and I gasp at the sight. Not only at his rigid abs and pectoral muscles, but the mix of tattoos that are covering raised, pink scars. It’s like he got them just to try and hide the marks. One side is completely covered in black ink and it looks like the same tree on the stained glass in his office. There’s another that rests over his heart of an old pocket watch hanging from a chain that climbs up his shoulder.
Cal grabs both of my ankles and pushes them up until my legs are spread in front of him again. I lift my head to get a look at him, but just as I do, his face disappears between my legs.
His nose brushes my nub and shivers course through me. The stubble on his face tickles in the best way possible.
I lie my head back down on the piano, my chest heaving, legs falling open further.
Cal runs his fingers up and down my pussy then stops and rubs vicious circles at my clit. He’s a master at this technique, possibly even a god. No one has ever made me revel in their touch the way Cal does.
My lower half twitches as my mouth falls open. His stained touch shouldn’t feel this good.
His arm reaches under my leg, one hand pressed to my stomach beneath my belly button. My body shivers when he brutally rams his fingers inside of me, He takes no care to be gentle. His force is rough and domineering. As if he’s determined to make me come to feed his ego, not to satisfy my desire.
My body fills up with its own greedy needs. I’m forced to grab his hand on my stomach, squeezing tightly as the pressure inside of me builds. Heat pipes through my core, filling my veins, threatening to burst.
I am the greedy one here. Letting Cal get me off, once again, while giving him nothing in return. He asked for this. Dragged me here, forced my clothes off, and laid me on this piano. There isn’t an ounce of remorse circling in my head knowing that I won’t fulfil his needs.
The walls of my pussy clench, tightening around his fingers. His tongue continues to flick feverishly at my clit and I wish I could drag out this moment for an eternity.
“Cal,” I whimper, eyes closed, mouth wide open. I squeeze his hand harder, holding my breath and trying like hell to make this feeling last as long as I possibly can.
“Don’t fight it, Bella. Come for me so I can clean up your mess.”
His gravelly voice sends me over the edge. I hold my breath when I reach the height of my climax. A pinched moan climbs up my throat, rippling through the room and bouncing off the walls.
Exhaling my pent-up breath, I lift my head to see Cal’s expression. He gasps, his breaths as heady as mine, as he watches his fingers orbit vigorously around my clit. My body twitches, tingles coursing through me as I orgasm again, this time it’s like being zapped with a thousand watts of electricity.
My arousal runs down my leg, but Cal swoops down and licks up my inner thigh. I jolt when he begins sucking at my entrance, then my clit, cleaning me up, like he said he would.
I lean back down, my head resting on the piano hood as I catch my breath and steady my heart rate.
Regret begins to trickle through me and I know without a doubt that more is to come. I’ll likely lie awake all night beating myself up for allowing this to happen again. The first time, it was due diligence. It had been months since my needs were met, and it was the least Cal could do to begin making up for holding me as a prisoner—not to mention, my hormones took control. This time, though, it was a mistake.
No matter how much I hold on to the moments of seeing the Cal I used to know, he’s proven time and time again that he’s as ruthless as they come.
I’m lost in my thoughts when suddenly all the air in my lungs comes out in one stuporous breath. I go to close my legs, but I’m too late. Cal grabs me by the waist and jerks me down until my ass is hanging off the piano and the head of his dick is inside me.
Unable to form a coherent sentence, I gasp when he shoves his full length in. It slides in with ease because I’m still drenched from my orgasm, but it doesn’t hinder the pain.
“Cal,” I finally say, in a raspy croak, “what…” my words trail off when he begins thrusting harder, faster, deeper. I go to lean forward to look at him, but he presses his hand to my chest, bearing weight on me.
No. This wasn’t supposed to happen this way. Tears prick the corners of my eyes as I watch him. His mouth agape, his lust-filled eyes staring back at me. His cock strains against my walls and while it hurts, I imagine it would be much more painful had he not just had his fingers delving inside of me.
“Ugh,” I cry out at the rush of pain shooting through me. To him, it probably sounds like a plea for more—a pleasurable moan.
I have to stop this. It wasn’t supposed to happen. This was meant for my husband, and Cal will never be that man.
“Cal,” I cry out again as the tears continue to shed. Just as I’m about to shout for him to stop, our eyes catch and something doesn’t allow me to halt his movements.
A breathless groan escapes him as the corded veins in his arms flex. Sweat pools around his hairline, glistening in the dim light. In physical form, this man is an Adonis. He has the ability to make my heart skip a beat by just looking at him. Which is exactly what it’s doing right now as we connect on this new level.
This is it. There’s no going back.
He will forever be etched in my memory. Not because of our past, but because of this moment right here. Even if it was unknowingly, he stole something from me that I can never get back. But looking at him right now, I’m not sure I’d want it back. Maybe my innocence has always been meant for him.
Now that he has it, I hope he doesn’t plan to shred me of my dignity too.
“Fuck, Bella. Your pussy feels so good.” He leans forward, hands pressed to either side of me as he hovers.
His words vibrate through me as his face lingers over mine. Having him inside me feels like heaven and hell at the same time. Sin and benevolence. Wrong, yet right.
I’m taken by surprise when he presses his lips softly on mine. It’s almost…sweet. Though, his movements never falter. His pelvic bone moves in a rhythmic motion. He thrusts in and out, assaulting my pussy and eventually the pain begins to subside, being replaced with something else. A feeling of contentment. A momentary unification between two people who came from the same broken path. There’s a sense of attachment as his waist grinds against mine.
Cal grunts into my mouth, his breaths becoming labored. “God, Bella, I want to make a home between your legs and live inside of you forever.”
Forever. Such an indefinite word.
He releases a few more husky moans before his movements slow, until he’s motionless inside me.
My heart rate excels again at the realization of what just happened. He just came inside of me.
I push my hands to his shoulders, attempting to move him. His chest rises as he peers down on me with wide eyes. “What’s wrong?” he asks, as if he has no idea why I’m suddenly agitated.
I need to get up. It feels like I’m suffocating beneath him. “Move, please.”
He does as I ask and climbs down my body until his feet hit the floor. I spring up into a sitting position then hop off the piano and head straight for my dress lying on the floor while cum leaks down my leg.
As he pulls his pants up and buttons them, he walks toward me. “Why are you angry?”
Snarling, I snatch up my dress and wrap it around my naked body like a towel. “You came inside of me, Cal. You should have used a condom. Which I would have told you to do if I’d had a minute to think before you…began.”
My heart begins rattling against my rib cage. Byron mentioned frequent female visitors and didn’t deny that they were hookers.
I feel sick again.
‘Calm down. It was one time.” He zips up his pants and grabs his jacket off the floor. “I’m sure you’ll be fine.”
“You’re sure I’ll be fine?” I huff, stalking toward him and shoving my hands into his chest.
He takes a few steps back and smirks. “I’ll have Peter take care of it. And if you’re worried about STDs, don’t. I’m clean and get checked regularly.”
“Regularly?” I mutter. “How often do you have new partners? Wait,” I hold up a hand, “don’t answer that.”
I really don’t want to know because I really don’t care.
“We all have needs, don’t we?”
“Apparently yours are more important than mine because you didn’t even ask before stealing something that was never meant for you.”
Cal raises a brow, oblivious to what I’m talking about. “What the hell does that mean?”
Ignoring him, I gather up all my clothes and grumble before storming out of the room.
