I knew there would be some pain the first time I had sex. I knew because I’d read about it. And because I’d snuck a vibrator into my room once. A college classmate who I’d gotten to be friends with had snuck one to me when she found out I’d never been with a boy. But when I tried to use it, I’d been so nervous, and it had hurt so much I’d finally given up and hid the damn thing deep in my closet. So yes, I knew losing my virginity would hurt, but I never thought it would hurt like that.
However, it wasn’t just the physical pain I cried from. It was the shock that he would do what he did, knowing it hurt me, like he didn’t even care.
Clenching my teeth to keep my jaw from quivering, I closed my eyes tight, fighting back tears as Enzo ran his fingers up the crack of my ass to my pussy, collecting the remnants of his ejaculation and pushing it back inside of me. He hadn’t worn a condom, and although I was on birth control to regulate my periods, I never thought to ask him if he was clean. I was stupid to think he would be considerate enough to protect me. ‘You didn’t wear a condom.’ I couldn’t keep the accusation from my voice.
‘No,’ was all he said.
I covered my face with my hands and tried to roll to my side so I could hide my naked body from his burning eyes. But he clamped his hands down on my legs, just above my knees, and held me spread out beneath him. His thumb rubbed the inside of my thigh, pressing gently on the bruise there until I winced.
‘Who left these marks on you, Sera?’
Although he didn’t raise his voice, I could hear the barely controlled rage he tried to contain within it. I dropped my hands and opened my eyes to find him studying my face as he waited for an answer. Seeing him there, kneeling between my legs like some kind of masculine god, I almost forgot about the soreness between my legs. But his dark eyes burned through me, searing me down to the bone as he waited for my answer. I blinked a few times before I could speak. ‘I’m not going to tell you. Ever. So please stop asking me.’
‘You need to tell me.’
‘Why?’
He didn’t respond. But he didn’t have to. The look on his face told me everything I needed to know. I finally relented enough to say, ‘It was just a guy at the club who drank too much. He doesn’t deserve to be punished.’
‘He hurt you. He deserves everything I want to do to him.’
This time, it was my turn to be silent. The guy was an ass, but he didn’t deserve to die the horrible death I could see in Enzo’s eyes. I pulled the edge of the comforter up over me, half expecting him to deny me even that small comfort. But he didn’t. I was shaking, but not from the cold. I felt exposed. Vulnerable. And underneath it all, there was hurt that he’d caused me so much pain and didn’t appear to care at all. He was too obsessed with finding out who had dared to touch his ‘property.’
But I was not okay. He frowned and reached for me, then pulled me up into his arms as I tried to drag the comforter up with me. He lifted me easily onto his lap, my knees on either side of his legs. The position made my pussy throb with aftershocks of pain, and a whimper escaped my throat. ‘Shhh…’ he soothed as he held me. ‘I am sorry, baby. I never wanted to hurt you like that.’
‘Then why did you?’ My voice was muffled from the quilt I was trying to hide behind. Were all men this unfeeling when it came to sex? Taking what they wanted with no consideration for the person they were taking it from?
His chest rose and fell against mine as he took a deep breath, and I felt his hand on the back of my head, smoothing down my hair. ‘I just…I’m so sorry I hurt you. That wasn’t my intention.’ He paused. ‘I lost control. And I can’t promise you it won’t happen again, but I can promise it won’t hurt like that again.’
The emotions I’d desperately been trying to quell burst forth on a pathetic sob.
‘Hey now…hey.’ He pulled me up tighter against him. I gave up trying to hang onto the quilt and wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face into his shoulder. It was fucked up, I know, seeking comfort from the very person who had caused me such anguish. But despite everything that had just happened, his arms felt good around me. I felt safe. And before he shoved his dick inside of me, he’d made me feel good. So fucking good. He hadn’t known I’d never been with anyone before. Maybe there was no helping the rest of it, I continued to rationalize. Maybe it would’ve only made it worse if he’d gone slow. It was better to just do it and get it over with, like ripping off a Band-Aid. ‘It won’t be like that next time?’
‘No, baby. It won’t ever hurt like that again.’
He held me tight as I hid with my face buried between his neck and shoulder. When the throbbing pain began to subside to a fluttering twinge and my tears dwindled down to sniffles, Enzo lifted up onto his knees and backed off the bed, taking me with him. Not ready to give up my hiding spot just yet, I wrapped my legs around his waist and tightened my arms around his neck. His low moan of satisfaction and pleasure caused the muscles low in my stomach to tighten with need.
I felt him walking across the room, and then he was setting me down on the closed toilet seat in the ensuite bathroom.
‘Let go, baby girl.’
Reluctantly, I released my death grip on his neck and dropped my arms down to my sides. Keeping my head down, I wrapped one arm around my breasts and let my other arm fall to cover the dark curls between my legs.
‘Uh uh. Don’t do that.’ Sitting on his heels in front of me, Enzo took my hands in his and opened my arms. ‘Don’t hide from me.’ With a finger under my chin, he gently lifted my face until I was forced to meet his eyes. As soon as I did, I was hit with so many emotions I couldn’t help but veer back to try to lessen the impact. But he shook his head. ‘Don’t try to push me away, Sera. Don’t do that to me.’
‘I’m not doing anything,’ I whispered. ‘I just…’ How to put into words all of the things I was feeling right now? And did I even want to?
‘Just what?’
I glanced up at him and then looked away, unable to take the intensity behind his gaze right now. ‘I’ve never been with someone like this, and it has me a bit…shook.’
He studied my face for a long moment. ‘Okay,’ he finally said. ‘I can understand that.’ Then he rose to his feet and walked over to the tub, turning on the water.
‘What are you doing?’ I asked stupidly.
‘Running a bath.’
‘Why?’
He didn’t respond, he just sat on the side of the tub, completely comfortable in his nudity, and tested the temperature of the water with his hand. When he was satisfied, he turned to face me, resting his elbows on his knees. Once again, I was struck by how utterly beautiful he was, in a terrifying kind of way, and I couldn’t keep myself from running my eyes over him with hungry appreciation.
Enzo was a big guy, with lean strips of muscle running beneath his skin, but not so much that he looked off balance like a bodybuilder. No, Enzo was strong, but not from lifting weights. Or maybe not just from lifting. To my untrained eye, he was built like a fighter. Lean and hard, without an ounce of fat on him. His left pec, shoulder, and upper arm were covered in black tribal tattoos. On his upper right arm was a dragon done in a similar style. And following the ‘V’ of his right hip were words written in Italian. And although I spoke a little of the language, I’d only caught a glimpse of them and couldn’t make out what they said.
‘Because I need you to relax, and I don’t want you to be sore.’
My face burned. ‘Oh.’ Which meant he would want to take me again, and soon. I forced myself to meet his eyes. ‘What if I don’t want to do that again?’
One side of his mouth lifted in the closest thing to a smile I’d yet to see on him. ‘I think I’ll be able to talk you into it.’
I said nothing, lest he think that was what I wanted. I needed a little time to process. ‘This is all just so weird for me.’
‘I know,’ he told me, then he reached over and shut off the water. ‘But right now, we’re just going to take a bath.’
‘We?’
Standing up, he held out his hand.
Mine was still shaking when I reached out to take it.
Enzo gripped my hand tight and pulled me up, then assisted me into the tub, waiting patiently as I eased myself down into the hot water. On his command, I scooted forward and wrapped my arms around my knees as he climbed in behind me, watching the water nearly slosh over the sides as he sat down with a long leg on either side of me.
‘Come here.’ Large, warm hands gripped my shoulders and eased me down until my back was against his chest. His erection was hard against my ass, but he just sighed and wrapped his arms around me.
Gradually, I felt my tense muscles relax. I let my head fall back to rest on the front of his shoulder. His heart beat strong and steady against my back, and his breathing was even in my ear. We sat there in the quiet until my eyes began to close, the life-changing events of the evening beginning to catch up to me. But my mind was racing. ‘Are you going to tell my father where I am?’
‘No.’
‘Never?’
‘Not ever, Sera.’
‘Do you promise?’ I asked sleepily.
‘I promise,’ he swore. ‘You don’t ever have to go back there.’ There was a fierceness in his tone that calmed my fears. I believed him. ‘You’re mine now,’ he said softly. ‘Only mine, Sera. He would have to kill me before I allowed him to take you from me.’
‘Okay,’ I whispered. For the first time in a long time, my mind was at ease. Despite everything, I felt safe, far beyond the reach of my father. I took a shuddering breath, and felt his arms tighten around me. This part wasn’t so bad.
‘Okay,’ he repeated quietly. He paused. ‘How about we talk about why you showed up at my door as an escort when you were a virgin.’
‘That should be obvious.’
‘Let’s pretend it’s not.’
‘So you could do exactly what you did tonight.’
‘Why?’
‘Because if I was no longer a virgin, I wouldn’t be as valuable to my father.’
‘And if it wasn’t me?’
‘Then I would’ve found someone else to do the deed.’
He was quiet then, but I felt him tense behind me. I wasn’t sure why that made him so upset. We barely knew each other, despite the fact that we’d just had sex.
He inhaled and exhaled heavily, then he lifted my arms from the water and placed my hands on either side of the tub. ‘Keep these here.’ Once he knew I would do as he told me, his hands moved to my breasts. Cupping the weight of them in his palms, he lifted them from the water. My nipples immediately hardened in the cold air, and he ran the pads of his thumbs over them, sending a sensation of heat straight to my core. ‘I don’t like the idea of anyone else seeing you like this.’ He squeezed my breasts. ‘I’m the only one who gets to do that from now on.’
Again, I stayed quiet. He felt like a lit fuse beneath me, and I was afraid to say anything for fear of detonating the bomb currently wrapped around me in the bathtub.
I sucked in a quick breath when he tweaked both nipples between his fingers, then I watched, fascinated, as he squeezed both breasts until they overflowed his palms.
‘Open your legs for me,’ he ordered, and there was a deep huskiness to his voice I recognized.
I kept my voice as quiet as his. ‘Enzo, please. I’m still sore.’
‘I know, baby. It’s okay. I won’t hurt you again. Open your legs for me.’
Hesitantly, I allowed my bent knees to drop to the sides of the tub.
‘Good girl.’
He said it right in my ear, and I shivered. His mouth moved down to the side of my throat. He found the artery there and ran his tongue along it, slowly, like a vampire savoring his next meal, and I wondered if he could feel how hard my heart was beating. Soft, wet kisses traveled down my neck until he found the muscle between my neck and shoulder. He sank his teeth into me at the same time he pinched my nipples and I moaned, my hips lifting of their own accord.
Holding me still with his bite, one hand slid over my stomach and down between my legs. Instinctively, I tried to close them, but when I heard his low growl of displeasure, I froze, then allowed them to fall open again.
His long, thick fingers found my folds and slid between them. I closed my eyes and moaned when he found my clit, rolling it gently between his fingers. Simultaneously, he did the same with my nipple, his fingers gentle where I was sore and a little rougher where I wasn’t, until I was gasping for air and the muscles low in my core were tightening with pleasure.
He released my shoulder and ran his tongue over the skin where his teeth had been embedded just to the point of pain, before kissing his way back up to my ear. ‘I want to fuck you again, Sera.’ To emphasize his words, he rolled his hips beneath me, sliding his cock along the crack of my ass.
A whimper escaped my throat, part fear and part desire as he played me like a fine instrument.
‘I want to, but I really don’t want to hurt you again.’ He sounded torn between what he knew was right and the needs of his body. ‘You’re so fucking perfect.’ One hand still teasing my nipples, his fingers slid lower between my legs until one fingertip pressed inside of me.
I flinched. I couldn’t help it. It still hurt.
‘Shhhh,’ he soothed, pulling his finger out and finding my clit again.
My muscles tensed from the attempted invasion, and it took me a minute to relax enough to feel the pleasure again. But he was patient, touching me so perfectly I began to wonder if there was a book out there somewhere on how to seduce timid virgins. Soon, my hips were rising and falling with each wave of painful pleasure that tightened and released low in my womb. My hands were gripping the sides of the tub so hard my fingers were beginning to hurt. And my body was aching for more. More of his mouth. More of his touch. More of the dirty things he was saying softly in my ear.
Lifting up, I ran my ass down the length of his cock, causing water to slosh up over the sides of the tub. Enzo groaned, his fingers moving faster on my clit and his other hand tightening on my breast. I did it again, fascinated with the sounds he made even as the waves of pleasure grew closer and closer until I was teetering on the edge of another orgasm.
Suddenly, he stopped, and I cried out in frustration before I could stop myself. His hand cupped my pussy, one fingertip teasing my entrance as my clit throbbed with need. ‘Enzo, please!’
He moved his hand, finding the perfect spot unerringly, working me up until my legs were shaking and my pussy throbbed.
Then he stopped, and I moaned.
‘Do you want to come?’ His voice was dark.
‘Yes,’ I whispered. ‘Please, Enzo.’
‘I’ll let you come, baby. But I need to be inside of you when you do it.’ His fingers barely brushed my clit, but my hips jumped up like a snake bit my ass. Cupping my pussy again, he used his grip to lift me up higher on his body and I felt the head of his cock probing my ass. ‘This will be mine, too,’ he warned. ‘But not tonight.’
He couldn’t possibly mean…
My thought was cut off when the length of him slid between my folds and Enzo groaned like he was in pain.
‘Enzo—’
‘Shhh…I’ll go easy.’
He lifted me again, and I felt him use his fingers to push his cock into position. Slowly and carefully, he lowered me down. I bit my lip as he stretched my sore passage wide, not stopping until he was fully sheathed inside of me. ‘Jesus Christ, Sera.’ His breaths were fast and heavy.
He was so deep, I felt like he was touching the bottom of my stomach. This time, I didn’t feel the sharp pinch of pain when he breached my virginity, but a milder burning pain all throughout. ‘Enzo, please. It hurts.’
‘It won’t hurt for long, baby.’ Holding perfectly still inside of me, he found my clit again. I was so sensitive, he barely had to touch me and everything clenched tight. ‘I fucking felt that,’ he said between heavy breaths. ‘Do it again, baby.’
The warm water and my own fluids kept me slick for him as he began to move his fingers faster and harder. His arm tightened around my chest as my hips began to move of their own accord, rocking back and forth in rhythm with the waves of pleasure deep inside of me. His name left my lips, still begging. Not for him to stop this time, but to finish what he started.
‘That’s it, baby. That’s it.’ His words of encouragement were hot in my ear. ‘Come for me, Sera.’
As if I was just waiting for his command, my womb tightened to the point of pain and then toppled me over the edge. I convulsed on his lap, unable to hold still, and heard his grunts in my ear as he slammed into me with short, hard thrusts. Once, twice, three times until the heel of his hand pressed down on my pussy, holding me still as his cock pulsed inside of me and I knew he was coming. He sank his teeth into my shoulder again as his big body shuddered beneath me.
Afterward, we sat like that for a long time, his cock still inside of me and still half hard. With lazy strokes, he learned the curves of my body, touching me everywhere he could reach until the water grew cold. Carefully, he lifted me off of him and then helped me stand up. We moved from the tub to the shower, and starting with my hair, he washed me with firm, gentle hands before scrubbing himself clean as I watched. I was swiftly losing my shyness about being naked around him. It was almost impossible to feel insecure around this man when he openly worshiped every single part of me with his hands and mouth and words.
When we finished, he put me in his bed and curled his big body around mine, holding me tightly to him even in sleep.
I lay awake for a long time, unsure of what to feel. Part of me felt safe and snug and protected. But the other part, the one that fought so hard to get free of my father, wanted to bolt from the room and catch the next plane to anywhere. Just as long as it was away from this man.
However, why did I have the gut feeling there wasn’t anywhere I could go now where he wouldn’t find me?
